Disclaimer:
Touhou and all characters of that universe were created by a Japanese man who was drunk enough for a group of Irish men.
I am an American who has not even touched a single drug in his life.
A Certain Magical Index was created by another Japanese man. Again, I am American.
Therefore… I OWN THE RIGHTS TO BOTH OF THEM!
*Police crash into the room, handcuff Mephiles666 and drag him away*
GOD DAMN IT! THEY FOUND ME!
Real Disclaimer: I don't own shit.
Sogiita Gunha, Farmer's son, age 16 or something. Like all humans born in Gensokyo, he was among those of the human village, and for the most part his life was uneventful (well, from the perspective of a human who was born and raised in Gensokyo, it was uneventful anyways). Save one experience where he, among other children, took a trek to the antique shop Kourindou between the Human village and the Forest of Magic, this was strange because the owner of the shop apparently had a terrible personality, but whatever. One of the books there which slipped in from the outside world, "Theories on natural progression of Esper abilities", apparently was useless to the half human half youkai hybrid as only humans would find its information of any value. Because of this, the shop owner had little care to stop the boy from reading it as he waited for his friends to browse.
Hell, he might have not noticed when the boy stole it. I mean seriously, the guy loves books. When does someone get away with stealing books from him?
…
Ah, who are we kidding? This story isn't about books, so I'll cut the next part short and not bore you.
Ah-hem!
Who knew when it was, perhaps after reading a book from the shop that deals in wares of the outside world, perhaps he took a wrong turn when he was meditating based on the instructions of said book; hell he might have never needed the damn book in the first place! But what mattered was that he awakened to a strange ability, an Esper power (granted, no one in Gensokyo would even blink at its existence).
His body seemed to create an invisible force around him that decreased the physical harm that could come to him and allowed him an increased amount of speed in movement. What made this a weird ability was that while he remained human, according to the doctor, he could not use magic.
It was not that for some reason the spells he tried to use wouldn't work, it was that when he used a spell, his body suffered from internal bleeding, small wounds on his body and he would start having seizures on top of all the pain. It took some of the best human village's best healers to fix that problem. Outside of learning it the painful way, there was nothing wrong with not being able to use magic when you had a weird ability...
...unless of course that weird ability did not compensate for the loss of the ability to use magic.
You see, Magic is necessary to insure superiority of the normal human to the normal youkai. While youkai overall were not that much of a threat, it was usually impossible for a human to win against one in physical combat due to normal youkai being so ridiculously strong, be unkillable without magic or religion, being able to heal faster than you could say "Holy shit, that's fast!" and their innate ability to defy gravity. Unless they had a magical sword or something, a physical battle was usually out of the question.
Speaking of which…
"Huh…huh…huh…" the boy breathed, looking at the dead end he ran into. In spite of being faster than a normal human, he couldn't fly as that ability was robbed from him ever since he gained his weird shield ability.
As a result Sogiita Gunha was easy prey for any Youkai willing to persistently follow him. And without offensive magic, it was flight and nothing but flight when confronted by a youkai. Not to mention that the Youkai behind him knew the forest like the back of its hand. The only thing the black haired boy probably could take on were probably Fairies.
"Oh come ON!" Gunha said, turning to see the monster that cornered him. "There has GOT to be something better than me out here!"
"Human flesh… human flesh…" the big and hairy, carnivorous gorilla like youkai said. It was an ironic image, given their strength and all. It was salivating like there was nothing better in the world than human flesh.
"Salivating?"
Oh yes, there was that inconvenience that human flesh was a delicacy to youkai. From what the human boy recalled, Youkai get a sort of natural high from eating human flesh that is much stronger than the high they get when they finally manage to get food after nearly starving to death. That and human flesh is the healthiest thing for them… and it apparently is the best tasting thing for them too. In other words, it was as if humans were made to feed Youkai. Sad, isn't it? Though in all irony, the normal human in this country was more powerful than the normal Youkai, because of magic…
"Wait, where have I heard that before?" Gunha asked himself.
Damn it! Don't call me out on this one! Or I'll make you a pervert! I'm the goddamn narrator! Oh wait, that was my original intention to begin with, never mind.
"Huh!? Doesn't that break canon!?"
Not if I work my magic right it doesn't!
…
ANYWAYS, with that on his mind, Gunha knew he had to escape no matter what.
"Catch this!" Gunha yelled as he tried to dash around the brute. "Run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread-AH!" His taunt was interrupted as the youkai clothes-lined him, causing Gunha to flip and land in his back. "GAH!" Gunha screamed in pain. And with a turn of its body the Youkai was practically on top of him.
"No! I'm NOT going to die!" he thought as he tried to scramble to his feet to flee. He felt his stomach being smashed inwards, the youkai kneed him. Gunha fell and rolled away from the gorilla and onto his feet, wincing at the pain in his stomach.
"Okay, escape is not going to be an option unless I can weaken him!" Gunha thought as he dashed forward, this time at the gorilla-like youkai and not around. A physical fight was not in the youkai's expectations, so Gunha had a moment of chance as he delivered a punch to the monster's chest. Of course, while it hurt the Youkai, the damage itself was easy to shrug off. Gunha was forced to jump back as the youkai tried to grab him.
"Almost got me there," Gunha said with a smirk, he could do this. Maybe not defeat the youkai, but at least he could escape. The Youkai just had to be weakened enough. He dashed at the youkai. "It would know that I would either attack it head on or go around it. But what about under?" he asked himself. The youkai seemed mentally prepared for Gunha do the predictable. Gunha's foot shot forward and into the ground, turning to point perpendicular to the Youkai. He was going to slide!
Wham!
Gunha felt something hit his stomach and he body jerked, coming to a complete stop. The youkai had anticipated that he would try to dive under its legs and had slapped its hand downward. Gunha coughed up blood. The Youkai smirked as it reached back to throw a punch at Gunha's face, if it connected, it was over. Gunha couldn't move due to the severe pain.
"No, no! Someone, please! Help me!" Gunha thought as the Youkai… was hit in the head by a giant Yin-Yang Ball! With a yelp in pain, the Youkai stumbled off Gunha.
The human could see someone floating in the air, it was a girl, roughly 14 to 15 years in age. She had purple eyes, and matching long hair which donned a large red ribbon. Her figure was not unhealthy, but her slender body indicated a lack of physical strength, given that she was a human and not a territorial youkai wanting to eat him instead. Her clothes were red and white, and strongly resembled a traditional shrine maiden outfit. Gunha could only guess that the country's Shrine Maiden was the one his rescuer.
The youkai roared ferociously before leaping at the girl, only to be parried by a stick with talismans attached to the end. A gohei, and strangely, the force of the youkai's attempted slash couldn't break the girl's weapon. Reinforced with divine power? Whatever the case may have been, the youkai had managed to force the girl to the ground, but the girl lifted her free hand and aimed her palm in the Youkai's face, before releasing some sort of energy bullet. The youkai screamed and staggered backwards in pain, holding its face.
As the Miko's Yin Yang orb which came out of nowhere was flying at her, she reached around her body with the gohei and swung outwards, hitting the Yin Yang Orb right into the youkai. Immediately the Yin-Yang orb flew back at the Miko, who immediately whacked it again with her gohei. Repeatedly, she hit the orb into the youkai, until finally the youkai screamed its last breath and started dissolving into the supernatural energy that youkai are constructed of.
The Miko had won, and Gunha was safe. The Miko turned and looked at Gunha,
"Are you alright?" she asked. Gunha had been temporarily mesmerized by the fight, so it took him a few seconds to respond.
"Y-yes! My stomach hurts, but I've recovered from worse!" he said, though the thing he recovered prior wasn't as bad as what had just happened.
"Can you walk?" the Miko asked.
"Yes!" Gunha answered, getting to his feet with some difficulty.
"I'll take you to the shrine, once you recover, you can head back to the human village." The Miko said.
"Ah, the Hakurei shrine?" Gunha asked. He heard the name of the shrine before, but wanted to clarify that he remembered it correctly. If he recalled correctly, it had the same name as the bloodline that ran it. It would have sucked if he forgot the name of the only shrine in their world.
"Yes." The Miko answered.
"Ms. Hakurei, thank you for saving me." Gunha said with a bow of gratitude.
A relatively short walk later:
When Gunha and the Miko reached the shrine, he could see that it was completely wrecked.
"What happened!?" he asked in suprise.
"A youkai decided to wreck it. I sought it out and exterminated it with extreme prejudice," the Miko answered.
"Really? You must have kicked his ass in five seconds." Gunha said
"No, it was more along the lines of an epic showdown," the Miko answered in boredom.
"Really?" Gunha's eyes flared, he loved exciting stories. "Can I hear about it?"
"I'd bother telling how it went, but I need to repair the shrine."
"I'll help!" Gunha said. "My arms still work! So you can tell me while we work."
"What about your stomach?" the Miko asked.
"The initial pain is gone and I want to pay you back for saving my life," Gunha said.
"You could give me donations," the Miko said offhandedly.
"I picked wild oranges before I was attacked by that Youkai. I managed to collect extra so we can eat some when after we're done without there being a problem."
"No, I meant you could bring me donations every once in a while," Reimu corrected.
"Oh…well, consider me helping you fix the shrine as my first donation!" he said as he pumped his fist into the air. The shrine maid let out a sigh in defeat.
"Alright, here, start with clearing that section over there," the Miko pointed to a part of the wrecked area.
"Okay," Gunha made his way over to a part of the pile that was once the shrine, he started to remove parts away. Clearing debris, picking up what looked valuable and so on. "Ah, Ms. Hakurei, I'm Gunha. Sogiita Gunha, I never got your name."
"Reimu, Hakurei Reimu," the Miko answered as they got to work. "Anyways, so it all started when my Shrine was wrecked, and I was infuriated…"
As she spoke, Gunha gazed at Reimu for a moment. Upon closer inspection, she had a rather slender body. While a woman who was shapely was preferable to men in this world, slender was not bad either for various reasons. It was also a matter of whether they were properly shapely or properly slender. Just because you liked a shapely womon doesn't mean you can't find a slender woman who looked better than most of the shapely women you've seen. And Reimu seemed to be a proper type of slender. Coupling that with her long shiny hair, she looked beautiful. Slowly, Reimu's clothing seemed to vanish into thin air, revealing her naked body. That beautiful, slender-
"Woah! Woah! Wooooooooooah! Time out!" Gunha thought berated himself, "Why the hell am I thinking that! No! I have a reputation to build, and being the village pervert is not what I want on my history! Bad enough Sensei caught me peeking on the girls changing last week..."
"Then BOOM, this angry ghost comes out of nowhere and says "You shall not pass!" and I respond with…are you okay?" Reimu asked, noticing Gunha's apparent change in posture and expression.
"Huh, yeah, I just felt like something was totally off." Gunha answered as he set a stack of boards down. And thus started the relationship between the Farmer's Son and the Shrine Maiden; one which would be filled with adventure, tragedy, humor, and perverse antics.
Author's notes:
Chances are that no one will notice, but I managed to rewrite this chapter.