I've decided to do something a little different. I know I haven't updated my other fic in over year, and that's because I've kind of lost interest, so I'll either put that up for adoption or just stop writing it.
In many cases, the loss of someone you loved would make you numb and listless for months on end. Well, that was my case, at least for a few months. Winter in Forks wasn't exactly cause for hugs and puppies in the most ordinary of mind sets, but when you're in a deep, dark depression…well, let's just say it's difficult to find any drive whatsoever.
However, with the first warm wafting air of spring, something changed in me. It started as a faint glow of resilience, a determination to prove to myself and everyone else that I could actually live like a normal human being without acting like some love sick puppy.
One morning in March, I looked into the mirror in my bathroom and felt a sudden heaviness as I saw the image reflected back. My first, foolish reaction was that I'd somehow proved that the Bloody Mary legend was real. But I knew better than that. The girl with dark shadows under her eyes, grayish skin and general unhealthy appearance was me. I wanted to be mad at Edward for leaving me like this. But I couldn't. It wasn't his fault I was acting like his leaving had taken a part of my life essence with it.
It was mine.
After that day, I came to a new resolution. No more moping. And no more being unsociable. I saw my friends acting like normal teenagers, partying and just enjoying being young and I was acting like a stick in the mud.
I didn't like that about myself. I wanted to have fun and show everyone, and even myself, that I could be strong and full of life.
It was difficult at first to earn their trust back, but eventually they accepted me back. Angela, Jess and Mike were quite happy that I wasn't acting like something from Night of the Living Dead, and soon their enthusiasm became infectious. Over the course of three weeks, my personality did a three-sixty from boring to blazing. I could literally feel that I was a better person, stronger, sarcastic and fun loving.
I even started seeing Jacob on a weekly basis. It was a miracle to me that he was so tall and muscular. He'd shot up from this scrawny little guy to this over six foot six tall, tan dream boat. Not only that, he made me laugh and actually seemed to take care of me, seemingly knowing what I wanted.
By June, I was completely rehabilitated. I could tell that Charlie was especially pleased by this change in me, which was definitely a plus. I had a social life, and I was still pulling very good grades in school. I never acted out…too badly. There was the odd underage drinking episode and a few less than appropriate moments of me dancing with my girlfriends, but I was, as bad as a cliché as it is, a good kid.
A few days before the last day of school, Jacob and I were driving back from La Push when I noticed the opening to the Cullen's drive way in the trees.
"Jake, pull over." I said. Jacob looked at me suspiciously.
"Why? We're nearly back in town."
"I want to get something out of the way." I saw Jake give me a furtive glance, before he turned the car around and parked on the side of the road closest to the driveway. We got out of the car, and when I reached the driver's side, I saw that Jacob had stiffened and was facing downwind from the opening, as though he smelled something unpleasant from up that way.
How peculiar.
"I just want to check something quickly." I turned to start down the drive, but Jacob caught my hand. The sensation of his hot skin coming into contact with mine made my eyes flutter momentarily.
"Wait. What exactly are you intending to do?" Jacob asked, looking worried. I smiled reassuringly at him.
"I want to get a little payback." I whispered, flashing him a mischievous grin before heading off. A moment later, I heard him following behind me, his feet crunching on the gravel.
It was still silent and tranquil in this area. The noises of the birds and distant traffic seemed quieter than usual. Once, when I was naïve and foolish, I would have called it peaceful and relaxing, but now, I thought that the strange silence surrounding the Cullen's house was oppressive and unnatural.
I knew that Jake didn't want to be here, and a part of me felt very stupid for coming back, but I had a sinking feeling that there was something here I needed to make peace with.
When we finally reached the house a few minutes later, I stopped still and frowned. This was a very bad idea. What was there to be gained by coming back here besides the threat of me reverting to Bella 1.0?
"That's their garage?" Jake asked incredulously, his voice oddly muffled. I looked around and saw him holding his hand over his mouth and noise.
"Is something wrong?" I asked.
He chuckled. "Just a strong smell of leeches." He said.
I frowned again. Leeches? I didn't know there were leeches here, or that they were even capable of giving off an aroma. Shrugging, I looked at the house, still as beautiful as ever. But I knew that there was a massive, empty living room inside with no beds. Sure, it might be beautiful, but it was empty.
Just like the family that used to live here.
As I looked at the house, bitterness swelled up inside me. The pitiful wreck of a human being I had become for those months was his fault. He did that to me. Made me love him so hard that the act of his leaving made me a husk of the human condition.
Bitterness turned to anger as the full force of what Edward had done to me washed over me like an avalanche, cold and catastrophic. And what had he been left with? While I'd suffered needlessly, he was most likely living the high life again with his family, rich and beautiful as ever. Maybe he'd even managed to hook another naïve school girl with his sweet nothings and sparkling body.
He'd gotten away with it and had no scars, whereas I had emotional trauma that would make Freud say, "I'm not touching that."
"This is too fucked up." I said angrily, starting toward the garage door, my mind afire from all the rage I was feeling. "He can't just play games with other people's feelings like that and get away unscathed."
"Bella…what are you doing?" Jacob asked, sounding a little nervous. I flashed him a wicked smile over my shoulder.
"Getting a little revenge, my sweet." I replied. I stopped in front of the double garage doors that led to the vehicular treasure trove inside. I frowned. There had to be a way to get inside without going through that house. I began looking around for something to wedge the door open with.
"Bella…"
"I'm trying to find something to open the door with." I explained to Jacob, not bothering too look up.
As I searched around, I became aware of a soft grunting sound. Standing up straight, I turned and saw Jacob pushing the doors, both of them, up, and not so much as breaking a sweat. My jaw dropped. There was no way he could have the much muscle power…could he?
"Bella…you wanna press the automatic opener…this isn't as easy as it looks." I nodded and passed Jacob, entering the dimly lit garage. Finding the glowing panel, I pressed it and the doors both rolled up to the ceiling automatically.
"Holy shit." Jacob said, finally seeing the cars inside. They were all here. Emmett's jeep, Edward's Volvo, Rosalie's Mercedes and a few other cars, all very expensive, new and pristine. There was a clear inch of dust on all of them.
My face split into a malicious grin. They hadn't taken their beloved cars with them. More than that, there were all sorts of tools and work implements all around the garage. After a brief search, I found a large crow bar and a heavy monkey wrench.
"Bella…you're not going to-
"Yes, I am." I said confidently, passing Jacob with monkey wrench. "And if you want to get in a hit on these bastards, I suggest you pick a car and start swinging. Just don't touch the Volvo. It's mine."
Jake stood there for a split second. I could almost hear him thinking. On one hand, he wanted revenge on the Cullens as much as I did. On the other, he didn't want to damage such fine vehicles. The former side one, as a second later, he grinned just as evilly as I had.
For the first car, Jacob chose a 1957 Chevy, which was parked at the back of the massive garage. I myself chose the red Mercedes. After what seemed like a prolonged deep breath, I started smashing Rosalie's precious car with all my force. I could hear Jake doing the same at the back.
As I let my fury rein down on the red hood and windows, I could almost picture Rosalie's face if she ever found out what I'd done. The bitch would probably have a heart attack…if she had a heart. Well, one that was beating at least. After dealing plenty of severe blows to the surface, I smashed the headlights and dented the hubcaps. This was actually quite fun.
Jake finished demolishing the Chevy before I was finished wreaking havoc on the Mercedes. He moved onto a black Mercedes S55 that I knew belonged to Carlisle. I actually heard him laugh as he started denting it. Satisfied with completely wrecking Rosalie's car, I turned my attention to Emmett's jeep.
As I took the first swing at the windshield, I felt a small twinge of guilt. Emmett, out of all the Cullens whose cars we were decimating, was the one who least deserved this. But, I wanted to get them all, so I pushed the thought out of my head and began to rain down a relentless stream of blows. Within ten minutes, Emmett's jeep was in as bad a condition as Rosalie's.
Finally, I turned my attention to the silver Volvo. Oh, I was going to enjoy this. Jake, who had finished with Carlisle's car, was leaning against a work bench looking at me with something that could only be described as admiration.
"Damn, Bells. I never knew you were this vengeful."
I laughed. "Well, just remember in case you ever screw up you chance with me."
"What?" Jacob looked suddenly excited.
I smiled broadly, taking a practice swing at mid air. "Well…we've been getting pretty close lately and…I'd like to make it official by saying it…"
Jacob smiled warmly at me, something that made my heart flutter.
"Wanna help?" I asked, gesturing to the as of yet unharmed Volvo.
"Hell yeah!" Jacob took position at the tail of the car, his monkey wrench held high. We gave each a final nod, before we laid into the car with a battle cry that would have made William Wallace proud. As I shattered the windows of Edward's precious car, I smiled at the thought of his devastated face. I wanted him to know that I'd done this, and had thought of carving my name into the leather seats, but I knew better.
For one thing, the Cullens may never come back to Forks, so there was no point in any of this, besides personal satisfaction and enjoyment. And in the event that they did come back, I didn't want to give them any clues as to who was responsible for running a demolition derby in their garage.
So, I was more than content to dent every square inch of the silver car that had once held so much meaning to me. By the time Jake and I were finished, we were breathless, but we didn't stop there. We took X-acto knives to the insides of the cars, scratching the living shit out of them until we were satisified.
We stood by the automatic door panel, admiring our handiwork. There was glass all over the place, and the once pristine cars now resembled the contents of a junkyard. I smiled, feeling completely elated and justified. There was no remorse or guilt anymore. They deserved this for getting away jack free while I had to needlessly tear myself up.
As Jake and I walked back to his Rabbit, I kept glancing at him and smiling. Really, he was practically perfect for me. No matter what decision I made, he always did his best to support me, even in this little revenge episode. I remembered times in the past few months when he'd seemingly known exactly what I wanted. He'd become everything I wanted and needed.
"Bells, you're crazy." He laughed, once we were back by his Rabbit.
"I guess you'll have to lock me up in the loony bin." I said with a laugh, stopping once we were by the driver's side. I looked up into his eyes, those big brown eyes. Puppy dog eyes, I told myself. I smiled. A lot of things about Jacob reminded me of an adorable puppy. He was friendly, funny and completely loveable.
"You're not crazy." Jake said, somewhat seriously. I smiled at him.
"No, I'm not. I'm normal now." Standing on my tip toes wasn't enough, so Jacob leaned down and captured my lips in a soft kiss that sent every inch of my body soaring. Oh yeah, this was definitely the right guy for me. After what seemed possibly several long hours, we broke apart.
"Normal." I repeated, going around and getting into the passenger seat, smiling all the while. That's exactly what I need right now. As we drove off, I looked back at the opening to the Cullen's driveway.
I couldn't help but laugh again. Really, damaging those cars had made me feel so much better. And even though it was unlikely, I couldn't help but wish to be a fly on the wall when the Cullens came home and saw the complete and utter devastation Jake and I had left behind.
