"Are you with Adrian?! I hope you are", Jill said urgently through the phone. I flinched at the sound of his name, remembering what happened in his apartment not even an hour ago. The image of him leaning against the door frame was still painted on my mind. I knew I had hurt him, I could see it in his eyes as he watched me as I continued to walk away from him. If it was up to me, I would never have hurt him. But the lily on my cheek symbolized what I am, and what I've grown up being taught. That's that only thing which is making everything difficult to comprehend right now. "Um", I struggled to find the right words, "why? Is there something wrong?" I think those were a good choice of words, just so I didn't alarm her too much. She already has enough on her plate.
I could feel a slight hesitation before she finally spoke again, "Oh, it's nothing. I think. He's just not himself, like at all." Jill was able to connect with Adrian through a special bond that they have with each other, I don't know what it might be like to see and feel each other from their perspectives. I just hope now that Adrian is coping with this, but in reality I knew that he must be beyond crushed with rejection. "Well, I'm not sure-", I began to say, but I was interrupted. "Sorry Sydney, I have to go. Something just came up". The dial tone followed her last reply. That didn't seem very Jill-like; her goodbyes had normally had more words to it and were more polite. Wonder what came up so quick?

I brushed off Jill's unexpected hang up and continued driving. No doubt my next stop is my favorite stop, Spencer's A coffee boost was probably the closest thing to getting the normal Sydney Sage back. Trey wasn't working which was good; I haven't seen him since the incident at the compound where his team of Vampire Hunters were holding Sonya captive. They believed that Sonya was still a Strigoi, after witnesses reported that they had seen her killing others. But the killings had actually occurred when she was a Strigoi. I selected my original coffee order, and head back to the school.
I went to the table where my "family" usually sat at. Just before I did, I saw Eddie and Angeline sitting down at the table together. They were sitting rather close together, so it must have been official, they were dating. "Hey", I said. They looked up from there quite conversation and drew they're attention to me. "Hey Syd, are doing well? I am", Eddie said while failing to hold back a small smile.
It didn't escape my notice that over the past couple of weeks Eddie went from thinking Angeline was very clingy and 'out-there', to actually being really okay and nice. It was hard for Jill though, just breaking up with her boyfriend, Micah. To find out the boy she really liked had just been taken by Angeline. "Yeah, I'm pretty good. Getting by", I replied.

Silence had filled most of the air around us for quite some time, but it wasn't until my phone buzzed in my pocket. The message was from Adrian. I was tempted to put my phone down and delete the message, but I couldn't quite bring myself to do it. The words imprinted on my phone were; 'I'm so sorry, Sydney. It won't happen again, promise. But that really depends on you.'
I stared at my phone for a good few moments, until Angeline brought me out of my thoughts. "Is something wrong?" I could see their faces looked concerned. I awkwardly stood from where I sat, and placed my phone in my pocket quickly. "I'll have to talk to you guys later. Something just came up", I said, reciting Jill's words from before. I walked away from them and headed for my dorm, I could feel their eyes on me as I exited the room. It didn't take me long till I reached my dorm; I was expecting Jill to have popped out expectantly and throwing a million different questions my way. But she didn't seem to be in the dorm room. I through myself on the nearest comfortable object, which happen to be the couch. A million and one questions and 'what ifs' ran through my head. What if the Alchemists found out that I had kissed a Moroi? Would I be sent back to a Re-education center? I would hate to end up like Keith. But Adrian's words repeated in my head; that really depends on you.

I kept going in and out of sleep, I doing that often. That was for different reasons or it could be the coffee. But mainly I couldn't stop thinking about Adrian, how much does he even like me? Obviously he likes me enough to kiss me with such an intense force and but yet so passionately. I was still very confused about what I should be feeling. There was no denying that I did care a lot for Adrian, but I never thought of him being more than a friend. After all it is against my beliefs, well against the Alchemists beliefs. He's a Moroi and I'm a human, it can't work out. Can it? Thinking of Adrian was eating me up on the inside, I had to see him, and I just have too. Even though it was practically in the middle of the night and he might be sleeping. That still didn't seem to stop me. I felt like a new and improved Sydney Sage. This had to be between me and him only, and maybe Jill knows now too. But I know Jill wouldn't tell a single soul. I was more worried about Adrian, he has to understand that what happen was not right and what happen couldn't go beyond that room. I drove at a moderate speed; I normally drive slightly under the normal speed limit. It's just a weird, personal thing I have. You never know when too much is enough to kill someone. I made it to Adrian's in only a matter of time. I sat in the car staring at the door which would lead me to Adrian; I sat there for quite some time. Building the courage to go to him and brace myself for a very intense conversation. Around not even five minutes later, I stepped out of the car and headed towards to door.

I knocked on his door, with the nerves tingling up my spine and repelling through my body. I heard footsteps approach which made my heart jump. Then he appears before me. His shirt lazily hung off his body, leaning more to one shoulder. He held alcohol in his hand, while his other was hanging by his other side. I looked at him, his eyes pierced through me, they seemed greener than ever. His head was messier than I have ever seen it before, it looked quite sexy actually. His face was surprised as he saw me stand in front of him. I moved my eyes away from his, because if I locked with them any longer I knew I was going to do something I would regret. I walked past him, and walked into the apartment. I stopped suddenly, and I studied the room. The room was completely demolished. His brilliant paintings, which I knew he worked so hard on, had been thrown on the floor and broken. Lamps, clothes, broken chairs and holes in the walls appear all around the room. I turned to face him; he was standing right behind me, eyeing me suspiciously. He didn't speak a word, or even open his mouth. I could see in his eyes how sorry he felt. I exhaled deeply and fought of the nerves. His eyes moved away from mind to stare at the ground in front of him.

"Adrian", I began, "I'm so sorry". He looked up at me in surprise, "No, you shouldn't be sorry. I should be sorry". He was right; he was the one to be sorry. I however always take the blame, I hate making people realize their mistakes and they feel so horrible; I don't want that to happen to Adrian. I was about to start talking again but he placed his hand up to stop me. "Don't speak, let me talk", he said. "Sydney, I'm sorry. It's my entire fault; I should have never kissed you. Knowing you're beliefs and how you think it's unacceptable for Moroi to be with a human. You just don't understand how hard it to stay away from you. The more I don't have of you, is the more I want of you. Sydney, the truth is…I think you're amazing, and so smart. Even if I weren't a Moroi, you would never go for drunken, cigarette smelling person like me". He stopped to catch his breath. I stood there, astonished by his words. Before I couldn't think about what to feel and how I should act, but now…I knew what to do. What I wanted to do. He looked down again, obviously trying to hide his facial expression. I moved closer to him, less than a meter away from him now. I could tell him noticed my closeness, but he still continued to look at the ground. It was my turn, to do what I want, and what I had to say about things. I lifted my hand towards his face to look at me and I looked into his eyes, then I leaned up.

I placed my lips on his, I felt his body jump slightly but then it eventually relaxed after he got the concept on what was happening. I placed both my hands behind this neck. I felt my body fold under me, I landed on the couch. Not a second after Adrian followed without breaking the kiss. He placed one hand on my hip and ran the other through my hair. My body was flowing with joy, I had stopped thinking. About the Alchemists, my beliefs, everything I've been taught. I enjoyed and savored every moment. I felt hot, not because Adrian was supporting himself on top of me, but because I've never done something this intense before. Adrian, surprisingly, pulled away first. He gasped for air, but didn't remove the small amount of distance our faces were from each other. "Are you sure?" He asked. I was more than sure, I've never been sure of anything in my whole life.
"Are you sure you want me to answer that now?" I replied. He eventually shrugged my shoulders; he knew what I was getting at. He lowered his lips to mine for a long few seconds. Suddenly the couch beneath me had disappeared. My legs we're now wrapped around Adrian's waist and my arms were held up around his neck to hold myself up. I didn't know that Adrian was this freakishly strong to hold all of my weight. My face was still awfully close to mine. I didn't know what I was doing, but all I knew I loved every minute of it. I knew this is what I wanted, what I needed. It was about time I did something for me. He stood there in the hall way still supporting my weight, "do you still want to do this?" I smile appear on my face, "what are you waiting for?" His smiled returned but it was the happiest smile I have ever seen appear on his face. "You're the boss, Sage", he replied.
Then he led me down the hall way into the bedroom.