Author's note: Out of honesty, I don't give crap that I haven't finished my other fic. No one cares what I write. I'd just think it's funny to see how the Smashers cope in the real world… Anyhoo, enjoy! (Melee Smashers are included)
Super Mario Bros dorm…
"Everyone get up!" screamed Fox, waking up all the Super Mario Bros characters. It's a shame that they share a room, they only good thing was that the boys get to watch Peach get naked. I didn't say who it was good for.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!" screeched Bowser. Fox shrugged.
"Master Hand's orders, in the meeting room," Fox said, pointing out the door.
"What is it now?" snapped Dr. Mario. Fox glared at him.
"If you are dying to know, I spent all night creating an invention."
"Anything new?" moaned Luigi. Fox took out his gun and set Luigi's ass on fire.
"Anyway, it can teleport us to the real world." Mario, who was drinking coffee, spit it all over Peach, who started whining that she cleaned herself yesterday.
"Shut up you retarded bitch!" snapped Bowser.
"You shut up, coffee brain!" retorted Peach. Everyone in the room sweatdropped, besides Peach. (I have this thing with coffee.)
"What an original comeback," muttered Dr. Mario.
"Shut up and get dressed," said Fox, leaving the room. As he walked down the hall, he heard Peach scream 'BANANAS ROCK!'. Fox facepalmed.
"If rocks had brains, they'd be a million times smarter than her," he muttered. He heard giggling coming from C. Falcon's room.
F-Zero room… (Well there's only one person in it anyway…)
Falco was trying to suppress his laughter as C. Falcon was sleep talking.
"Mummy, I wet my pants," murmured C. Falcon. "I love Samus, she's fucking hot… Bananas shall rule the world…"
"'Bananas shall rule the world'?" came a voice from behind Falco. Falco jumped from shock and smashed his head in the celing, thus waking up C. Falcon. He turned around to see Fox glaring at him.
"Banamus is fucking hot yellow!" screamed C. Falcon. Falco burst into laughter.
"When were you going to wake him up?" asked Fox.
"Right after he swears a million times," said Falco. Fox rolled his eyes and left the room.
(Okay, I'm skipping some dorms/rooms…) Legend of Zelda dorm…
Fox entered the dorm to see that everyone was already awake. And in utter chaos.
"Wah! Ganondorf won't give me my banana!" wailed Toon, while Young Link comforted him. Link was chasing after Ganon, who was holding the banana, like a maniac, and Zelda was sitting on her bed, eye twitching. Fox sighed.
In the LOZ dorm, there drama was a natural occurence. Either its Link screaming that Ganon tried to chop his left hand off, or Zelda punching the crap out of Link for peeking in the shower, or Toon and Young being victimized by Ganon. (Man, I make it seem as though Ganon rapes the poor kids…) The only dorm that was more insane than the LOZ dorm, was the Fire Emblem dorm.
"Do I need to ask?" said Fox exasperatedly.
"TL was about to eat a banana when Ganon grabbed it, and started screaming about something called the 'Banana Revolution'. Then Link yelled 'You shall not pass!' and chased Ganon."
"Damn Link and his 'Lord of the Rings' obsession."
"The only thing he doesn't have that's 'Lord of the Rings' are the books. Roy somehow managed to convince him that if you read, you become an angel." Fox sweatdropped.
"Isn't Pit offended?"
"No, he hasn't heard it yet. Anyway, it's not like he's going to do anything, too damn optimistic."
"Why is Link scared of becoming an angel? Wait, don't answer that." Fox was starting to tire of the screams, so he took out his gun, and banana went everywhere, except on Zelda's things, because she used her magic. "Get dressed, Master Hand wants us."
Just as he left the dorm, and explosion was heard in the halls. Smoke was coming out of the FE dorm, and Roy, half naked, sped through the hallway. Everyone, including the LOZ dorm, looked out to see what was happening.
"HAHALALAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I NOW OWN MARTH'S UNDERWEAR!! LALALALALA!!" announced Roy crazily. No one seemed to mind, Roy has some mental issues in the morning. His already drugged brain was craziest in the morning. That's why everyone wakes the FE dorm last.
"Master Hand wants us!" called Fox.
'Okay! Let me bury Marth's underwear first!" called Roy. Marth came running out of the FE dorm.
"Roy, you stupid idiot! If you get one mark on my underwear…!" he screamed. Marth and Pit were the only ones who either didn't want to swear, or just couldn't. Ike walked slowly after the insane swordsman and the agitated prince.
"What did I do to deserve this? Does it have anything to do with the bus?" he mumbled. He spotted the pokemon and froze. No one knew why, but he was terrified of them. Roger (the pokemon trainer) said something about Lucario, but didn't want to mention anything else. The pokemon took the clue, and returned into their dorm. Everyone else returned to their dorms, except Pit, who was already done dressing up.
"Hi Fox," he said cheerfully. Fox raised his eyebrow.
"How are you the calmest male in this mansion?" They started walking for the huge living room, A.K.A. the meeting room. "I mean, in angel years, you're 16. Isn't that supposed to be the stressful year in your life? And you're not even interested in other people!" Pit shrugged, smiling.
"Oh well, I'll just die a virgin. Anyway, there aren't any other angels in Smash Mansion."
"There are a lot of humans who have their eye on you."
"I'd outlive any mortal; I've got thousands of mortal years ahead of me." Pit looked outside a window. "A hurricane?" Fox smirked.
"It's a good thing I made that hurricane proof shield for Smash Mansion."
"Who knew a bunch of plastic cups would block out a hurricane? I was going to go out to fly for a bit, oh well, tomorrow then." Zelda's voice echoed in Fox's head. "Too damn optimistic." "Anyway, I wonder what Master Hand wants with us? Wolf said something about a new invention, Fox. What is it?"
"It's a portal that allows us to go to the real world, although what Master Hand wants with it, I'm not sure…" Pit's wings flapped.
"The real world? I wish I could go…"
"Why couldn't you go?" His wings flapped again. "Oh…"
"I wouldn't worry too much about it, Fox. I can stay here if you guys ever went to the real world. Unless you have some invention that can hide wings," said Pit jokingly. Fox heard a hint of sadness and hope behind the words. Fox was spared the pain of answering when they entered the meeting room. Everyone else was already there, not counting Marth and Roy. Luigi was burnt to death, but no one really cares about that jerk. Now all they had to do was wait for Master Hand.
Roy plummeted into the room with a torch, singeing everyone's hair, fur, and feathers. The Smashers looked at each other. Change of plans, kill Roy, and then wait for Master Hand.
Author's note: Don't worry, I'll get to the reason the story is called 'The Real World's Zoo' in the next chapter.