Author's Note: I wrote these what seems like an eternity ago, and they have
been sitting on the shelf ever since. I figured, however, that now is as
good a time as any to dust them off and put them up here. They'll keep
going as long as I can think more up. :) I thrive on comments, so feedback
is greatly appreciated. Read the newest reality show to hit the airwaves in
Mainframe and enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything even close to the rights to ReBoot, though it's fun to pretend.
ReBoot Blind Date #1: Dot's Dilemma
(Int. The Diner. A crewman behind the camera silently cues Mike the TV, host of Mainframe Blind Date.)
Mike: Gooood evening all you sprites and binomes out there, and welcome to the very first episode of Mainframe Blind Date!
(Several customers stare blankly at Mike.)
Mike: This is the show where you, the viewer, get to watch gratuitously as two complete strangers squirm uncomfortably for an entire evening and try not to make total, complete fools of themselves! Sounds like fun, doesn't it!
(Brash game show music plays. Camera pans to a booth in the diner.)
Mike: Leeeeet's meet our first participant- Dot Matrix!
Dot (looking up from a spreadsheet, surprised): Mike! I already told you, I'm not gonna be on your show!
Mike: Please, oh puh-leeze, Dot? (motioning to the camera) Do it for the loyal viewers- and for me! I need the ratings!
Dot (hesitantly): I really can't...I have a lot of work to catch up on...
Mike: Perfect! Let's meet the lucky date our expert matchmakers have paired you with!
Dot: But-
Mike: And now, straight from G-prime, this cycle only, heeeere's Cyrus!
(Cyrus enters to loud game show music, a bouquet in his hand and a wormy grin on his face.)
Cyrus: Why hello, Dot.
Dot: Cyrus?! That twerp? But he's-
Mike: Have a great time, you two, and don't mind the cameras in your face all evening! They'll just be recording your every move, you know, for all of Mainframe to see! Let's hear it for our daters!
(Music and applause track continues over Dot's protestations as Mike's crew members push them out the door of the Diner. The door shuts on them quickly.)
Cyrus (grinning): So, Ms. Matrix, what's your sign?
Dot: *Sigh*...
(Later in the evening. At a table in a candlelit restaurant, Cyrus is telling a story between large mouthfuls of food. Dot's face is buried in her hands.)
Cyrus: ...so then after I stole the penguin's money, I ran to the nearest sewer drain and hid. Those birds can really move fast, let me tell you. I used to be quite the con artist, if I do say so myself, heh heh.
Dot (muttering): Get me outta here, get me outta here...
Cyrus: Did you say something, Ms.Matrix?
Dot (looking up): Oh- no, sorry. Er, so....um....what else did you do?
Cyrus: Oh, a bit of everything really. I was a used car salesman for a while.
Dot: Somehow that's not much of a surprise.
Cyrus: Why, I could sell any car to anyone- I even sold one with a broken interociter once. Those are hard to fix, heh heh...the boys on the car lot called me "Skunkhead Cyrus". Oh, the good times I've had. You know, I'm having a simply wonderful time now too.
Dot: Gee, could that be because you're not out with a creepy, wormy binome who over-emphasizes every word he says in a horribly annoying way?
Cyrus: Oh, what a sense of humour you have, dear Dot. Wouldn't that be an awful date!
Dot: Right. *sigh*...
Cyrus: And what do you do?
Dot (taken aback): You- you're actually asking something about *me*?
Cyrus: Certainly. You must have done some sort of interesting things, though it couldn't, of course, compare to my exciting-
Dot (cutting him off): No, no- I'd love to talk about my work. There's a lot of organization involved, you see, because balancing Command.com duties and my various business enterprises is a surprisingly difficult task. Take yesterday, for example. I reviewed defense strategy reports for around the core, reviewed inventory for new CPU acquisitions, then had to organize some internal data files. Then I went over to the Diner and ordered bulk supplies from one of my providers...
Cyrus (confused): umm....
Dot (perking up): But before I could finish, new problems with the Mitchell account came up. I had to recalculate so many of the spreadsheets I had done! I was almost late for a meeting I had on Wall Street! But I sorted it all out, and even had time to re-format some old inputs I had lying around (taps her organizer lovingly).
Cyrus: Well, as utterly fascinating as this all is....
Dot: Oh, that was only the first half of the day-
Cyrus: Yes, well, I'd better be going.
Dot: Pardon?
Cyrus: Yes, er, I have to do (looks at nonexistent watch) something. I think Megabyte's legs need polishing. I don't think this is going to work out...(hastily rising from the table) don't call me, I'll call you. (Leaves)
Dot: Hey, that's my line.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything even close to the rights to ReBoot, though it's fun to pretend.
ReBoot Blind Date #1: Dot's Dilemma
(Int. The Diner. A crewman behind the camera silently cues Mike the TV, host of Mainframe Blind Date.)
Mike: Gooood evening all you sprites and binomes out there, and welcome to the very first episode of Mainframe Blind Date!
(Several customers stare blankly at Mike.)
Mike: This is the show where you, the viewer, get to watch gratuitously as two complete strangers squirm uncomfortably for an entire evening and try not to make total, complete fools of themselves! Sounds like fun, doesn't it!
(Brash game show music plays. Camera pans to a booth in the diner.)
Mike: Leeeeet's meet our first participant- Dot Matrix!
Dot (looking up from a spreadsheet, surprised): Mike! I already told you, I'm not gonna be on your show!
Mike: Please, oh puh-leeze, Dot? (motioning to the camera) Do it for the loyal viewers- and for me! I need the ratings!
Dot (hesitantly): I really can't...I have a lot of work to catch up on...
Mike: Perfect! Let's meet the lucky date our expert matchmakers have paired you with!
Dot: But-
Mike: And now, straight from G-prime, this cycle only, heeeere's Cyrus!
(Cyrus enters to loud game show music, a bouquet in his hand and a wormy grin on his face.)
Cyrus: Why hello, Dot.
Dot: Cyrus?! That twerp? But he's-
Mike: Have a great time, you two, and don't mind the cameras in your face all evening! They'll just be recording your every move, you know, for all of Mainframe to see! Let's hear it for our daters!
(Music and applause track continues over Dot's protestations as Mike's crew members push them out the door of the Diner. The door shuts on them quickly.)
Cyrus (grinning): So, Ms. Matrix, what's your sign?
Dot: *Sigh*...
(Later in the evening. At a table in a candlelit restaurant, Cyrus is telling a story between large mouthfuls of food. Dot's face is buried in her hands.)
Cyrus: ...so then after I stole the penguin's money, I ran to the nearest sewer drain and hid. Those birds can really move fast, let me tell you. I used to be quite the con artist, if I do say so myself, heh heh.
Dot (muttering): Get me outta here, get me outta here...
Cyrus: Did you say something, Ms.Matrix?
Dot (looking up): Oh- no, sorry. Er, so....um....what else did you do?
Cyrus: Oh, a bit of everything really. I was a used car salesman for a while.
Dot: Somehow that's not much of a surprise.
Cyrus: Why, I could sell any car to anyone- I even sold one with a broken interociter once. Those are hard to fix, heh heh...the boys on the car lot called me "Skunkhead Cyrus". Oh, the good times I've had. You know, I'm having a simply wonderful time now too.
Dot: Gee, could that be because you're not out with a creepy, wormy binome who over-emphasizes every word he says in a horribly annoying way?
Cyrus: Oh, what a sense of humour you have, dear Dot. Wouldn't that be an awful date!
Dot: Right. *sigh*...
Cyrus: And what do you do?
Dot (taken aback): You- you're actually asking something about *me*?
Cyrus: Certainly. You must have done some sort of interesting things, though it couldn't, of course, compare to my exciting-
Dot (cutting him off): No, no- I'd love to talk about my work. There's a lot of organization involved, you see, because balancing Command.com duties and my various business enterprises is a surprisingly difficult task. Take yesterday, for example. I reviewed defense strategy reports for around the core, reviewed inventory for new CPU acquisitions, then had to organize some internal data files. Then I went over to the Diner and ordered bulk supplies from one of my providers...
Cyrus (confused): umm....
Dot (perking up): But before I could finish, new problems with the Mitchell account came up. I had to recalculate so many of the spreadsheets I had done! I was almost late for a meeting I had on Wall Street! But I sorted it all out, and even had time to re-format some old inputs I had lying around (taps her organizer lovingly).
Cyrus: Well, as utterly fascinating as this all is....
Dot: Oh, that was only the first half of the day-
Cyrus: Yes, well, I'd better be going.
Dot: Pardon?
Cyrus: Yes, er, I have to do (looks at nonexistent watch) something. I think Megabyte's legs need polishing. I don't think this is going to work out...(hastily rising from the table) don't call me, I'll call you. (Leaves)
Dot: Hey, that's my line.