This is the fan fic I've been waiting to write for some time now. This is going to be my favorite fan fic I will writeon this website so far. Even more then the ones I wrote with Jason and Vinny before this. This is an Everybody Loves Raymond meets Cheaper By The Dozen fan fic. And if your an ELR fan you will love this one just like I know I will. My sixth Vinny and Lorraine installment.
I don't own any of the Bakers, Barones or anyother characters in a TV show or movie. I do own Vinny and the other characters that aren't in any TV shows or movies.
Chapter 1: What Ever Happened To Hank
Vinny walks into the front door of his house after going to LA for a few days. "How was LA?" Lorraine asked him. "It was all right. my headquarters is doing great and so are my brother Rick and his family. They say hi. And they gave us this for Christmas." Vinny said as he handed Lorraine the gift Rick and his wife gave them. "This is so beautiful." Lorraine said about the vase Rick and his wife gave them. "It's just a vase." Vinny told her. "It's a vase that cost fifty thousand dollars." Lorraine told him. "Really?" Vinny asked. "I saw this exact one in the mall the other day." Lorraine told him. "Hey where's Mikey C?" Vinny asked her getting off the topic. "He's at hockey practice. And why do you always call him Mikey C?" Lorraine asked. "His middle name is Christopher right?" Vinny then asked. "So what?" Lorraine replied. "You never saw the Godfather movies. The main character in those movies is called Michael Corleone. And I love those movies." Vinny told her. "I know you have the whole collection on DVD. Along with Goodfellas and A Bronx Tale." Lorraine told him. "Those are great movies." Vinny replied. "You're such an Italian American." Lorraine told him. "That's what I am Italian American. I have to stick with my heritage." Vinny told her as he left. "Where are you going?" She asked him. "Go get your brother Mike from practice." Vinny told her. "My dad is going to pick him and Jake up." Lorraine told him. "Jake is there too?" Vinny asked. "Yeah." Lorraine then said as Vinny left to go pick them up. Vinny picks up his cell phone and calls Tom. "Hey Tom it's Vinny. LA was fine. You don't have to worry about getting Jake and Mike today I'll pick them up. Yes I'm sure. No problem Tom. Talk to you later." Vinny told Tom as he hung up his phone. His cell phone rings "Hello? Hey Robert. How the hell are you? Yeah I just got back from LA. It was nice. I know that you and Amy are coming tonight instead of tomorrow like everyone else. How's your son Robert Jr? That's great. Lorraine is fine a bit moody but, she's fine. I'll see you tonight Rob. Take care now bye." Vinny told his cousin as he hung up the phone. 'Shit! I forgot to tell Lorraine that him and Amy are coming tonight!' He thought to himself almost at the ice rink. He walks into the ice rink and lights up a cigarette. The security guard comes up to him and ask him to put it out. "No I will not put it out." Vinny told the guard. "Sir can't you read that sign?" The guard asked him. "Yeah it says the same as that one but, I don't give a damn." Vinny politely told him. "Hey Vinny." Jake said as he walked up to them. "You know this guy?" The guard asked Jake. "Yeah he's my brother-in-law." Jake replied. "How do you know this rent-a-cop?" Vinny asked Jake. "This is Nora's old boyfriend Hank the model/actor." Jake replied. "Oh so you're underwear soaked in meat man. I guess you're trying out to be a rent-a-cop in your next movie?" Vinny told Hank. "No this is my job." Hank replied. "I guess you're not Hank the model/actor anymore you're Hank the god damn rent-a-cop." Vinny replied. "And what do you do for a living? You work for the Mob or something?" Hank asked him. "I own DiMiranda Sporting Goods. And don't say I was ever in the Mob again or I'll hurt you." Vinny told him. "Hey pal don't you get loud with me!" Hank yelled. "I wasn't yelling. This is yelling you god damn rent-a-cop!" Vinny then yelled back. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave this rink." Hank told him. "I would like to see you make me leave." Vinny told him as he put out his cigarette. "Vinny let's just go." Jake told him. "I just have to ask one more thing. Why did you have your pants set on fire? Did you lie to them because if you did that brings a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Liar, liar pants on fire'." Vinny asked him laughing. "That's it pal. It's time for me to kick your ass." Hank told him. "You don't want me to get physical with you toothpick. I'm 5'11" and weight 245 pounds. I played defensive line in college and went up against offensive line that were 6'3" 325 pounds." Vinny stated. "Let's go short stuff." Hank told him. "Ladies first." Vinny replied. Hank goes to punch Vinny but Vinny ducks Hank's fist, grabs Hank's arm and karate flips to the ground. "I told you not to mess with me toothpick." Vinny replied as him, Jake and Mike leave the rink laughing at how Hank was just beat up.