Disclaimer:
I looked down realizing everything I had just said, I hadn't thought it over I had just exploded saying that which I had tried to repress. The thing is I had brought it upon myself keeping all those emotions pent up inside my body, they had been ready to burst into flames, an what had happened was the last straw. I couldn't believe it, even as I saw with my own eyes I tried to deny it, but no out of cowardice you had gone to him to not face the situations ahead of you. Hadn't you noticed the face I had, it was one of death an I needed you but it never happened that which I wished, for you to stay. You ran and here I as left stranded in a world I had once known, but now was faced with confusion, because everything around me had turned to chaos...everything and everyone.'
Is he everything you wanted, can he achieve everything you wanted in a man to do so?...does he know you like I do? What makes you tick? What you like or you don't? Does he make love to you as passionately as I did? Oh I don't know why I torture myself with all this crazy none sense, it was my fault everyone had told me you where bad news that I should stay away.
I don't regret what I said because it was time to make you realize you had lost me, and wouldn't be gaining me back any time soon or ever.
You where walking hand in hand with him in the mall, as I was looking around trying to distract me from the world I had come to hate. The smile on your face seemed so fake that I couldn't help but think why you would leave me for him when it had been obvious you had loved me. A surging of emotions passed through my body, and I couldn't help but go to you two stepping in front stopping you from where you where heading to. I saw the look on your face flash to one of pain and worry, you didn't know what I was going to say and by the fear that I showed you certainly didn't want it to happen. An so I did it I screamed at you and broke through your barriers hurting you as you had hurt me, I remember the tears as they slowly slide down your face.
Oh I remember what I said so clearly....
(Flashback to ten minutes ago)
"How could you after everything I had given you?"- Spencer
"Spencer not now please not in front of all this people" - Ashley said looking around.
"You know what this is the perfect moment, because I don't think there will be another chance"- Spencer
" What do you mean?" - Ashley said through chocked gasps.
"I was hurt enough, I am not going to give you another chance to hurt me this is the last time that we talk" -Spencer
(Present time)
...After that was where all the pain you had made me suffer I gave back to you in creases, I don't know how I feel right now, I know I can't hate you but God do I wish I could not love you. It is for all the good that make the bad seem like nothing, that make this thinking so damn difficult. How I wish that I could go back in time to stop all of this and keep you as mine...but wishes are to far away to reach or achieve. I turn around to see you there in front of me, with tears still running through your face...and I can't help but wonder...what I should do.