I don't own Gossip Girl.

you remember being beautiful

You remember being beautiful.
Regrets, regrets, regrets.

You're not that slutty California kind of beautiful like your sometimes best friend, you're elegant; you have class. And that's everything.

If Serena's a Malibu Barbie whose head has been ripped off and reattached several times, you're a handcrafted Porcelain doll who's a little scratched but otherwise in pristine condition.

The first chip happens when your father leaves you. It's small but noticeable. It's shameful. You try to hide it as best you can, but Serena leaves you, too, and your feeble attempts at painting over the speck fail.

You're still beautiful, though. You haven't been destroyed yet.

Serena returns. (and you crack, ever so slightly). You hate her more than you ever have before (and you've always kind of hated her) but you let her back in because she's Serena-fucking-van der Woodsen and that name carries almost as much meaning as Blair Waldorf. Almost.

Your relationship falls apart and you sleep with Chuck. There's a small tear in your red stockings as you walk back to your Upper East Side apartment. You can feel a million pairs of eyes on you and can tell that they know. You're ruined.

You lock yourself in the bathroom and turn on the tap when you get home. (it's the first time you pull out the super-glue)

:|:|:

Chuck is the definition of sleaze. You know you're wrong for each other, but you're also sort of perfect. You put away the pleated skirts and navy blue headbands with him and you just are. He visits you and there's the slightest trace of lipstick behind his ear, and there's a moment of great satisfaction when you see it's not pink or burgundy but exactly your signature shade of red.

It scares the shit out of you, but you start to enjoy being with him. It's like nothing you've ever done before, and you feel a little less perfect but a little more whole.

But you can still feel it. Every motion with Chuck is another crack, another step closer to the edge. You don't want to fall. (You can only hope your minions will be there to pick you up.)

Even when he tells you he loves you, it brings you closer and closer to falling.

He breaks you, though. In less than ten minutes with Jack, you know.

You're falling, falling, FALLING.

shatter.

And one by one you pick up each shard and gently glue yourself back together. Hopefully it'll last.

I remember you being beautiful.
That's all, that's all, that's all.

AN: First attempt at Gossip Girl, first attempt at second person. Song lyrics are from 'Teenager' by The Thrills.

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