A/N: This is a very sad fic, I cried the whole time writing it. I hope it touches your heart.
Kakyuu left the room, closing the door behind her. She shook her head sadly, and slumped down, resting against the door for support. Her eyes clenched closed in a painful expression. She had come out of the third room on the right in this hallway. Seiya's room. Swallowing back a sob, she gathered her strength and made her way back to her own room. How had things gotten so bad?
-Flashback-
"Fighter, it's time to call it a day." Kakyuu said sweetly to her starlight, who was still working hard trying to set up the palaces defenses.
"As soon as I'm done with this, I will. Promise." Star Fighter said with an energetic grin. Kakyuu nodded her head and walked away.
-End Flashback-
If only she knew, how little energy Fighter really had. Hot tears spilled down Kakyuu's face. Tears of sorrow, remorse, love...and guilt. How could she have been so oblivious?
-Flashback-
"Fighter, why didn't you come to dinner?" Kakyuu asked quietly, having entered Fighter's room.
"I don't know. I'm just not hungry..." Fighter said, dazed. Kakyuu bowed her head and left the room.
-End Flashback-
In the end, it wasn't exhaustion, or lack of nourishment that brought Fighter down. It was illness. No one knew how it happened, as senshi are much more resistant to illness than ordinary people. Maybe it was everything combined, her heart break, her exhaustion, how she would not eat for days at a time... all anyone knew was that she was slipping through their fingers. All they could do was watch and say good bye. She was going, unable to be stopped, a shooting star. Kakyuu had spoken with her briefly, and it had broken her heart so see her star light like that. Their conversation had been incredibly brief...
-Flashback-
"Kakyuu-hime!" Fighter said, struggling to sit up to face her princess.
"Shh.. relax. It's alright." Kakyuu said, gently pushing Fighter's shoulders back down on the bed. Fighter looked at Kakyuu expectantly. Kakyuu looked into her deep blue eyes, like midnight skies they shone..she knew she wouldn't get to see those eyes much longer, and it broke Kakyuu's heart.
"How are you feeling today?" Kakyuu asked, trying to make small talk.
"The same.." Fighter said, sighing wistfully. Maker had informed Kakyuu that Fighter had longed for this, she wanted to fade out. Maker couldn't understand why, as she had not pressed her. Kakyuu had to know, now. If she didn't get the answer now, she might never..
"Fighter, why are you giving up!" Kakyuu said, the wall that was her reserve crumbled at her outburst.
"I'm not..giving up.." Fighter said, offering a weak smile.
"Yes you are! You're Sailor Star Fighter! You never give up! You never lose! You always keep fighting, you have to keep fighting..."
"That's where your wrong. I'm not giving up. This is what I desire.. Kakyuu, I'm tired..not my body, not even my mind..my soul, it's tired. I need rest..a long rest. Do you understand? What it's like? To be eternally reborn.. it's tiring. People die when they've had enough of life. Yet I've lived through hundreds. In this life, I learned what I needed to learn most, the thing that I hadn't before..." Fighter said. Even though her voice was quiet and cracked occasionally, it was still melodic and sweet, Kakyuu realized.
"What was it.. that you learned?" Kakyuu asked.
"When to lose gracefully...we all learned something on Earth. For Yaten and Taiki..it was learning to trust, and love.. to believe in others. For me... it was to loose gracefully. When I saw Sailor Moon's boyfriend come back, I knew I couldn't take his place. I wished for her to be happy. I stepped down. But it was different from losing or giving up. Giving up is what the weak do when it's too hard for them to carry on. I could've carried on, I could've tried to make her fall for me. I didn't want her to. I wanted her to be content. I didn't lose to him either, if I had lost to him, I would've had to ask her to choose, which I could never do..." Fighter trailed off. Kakyuu wished to ask her more, but Fighter had slipped into unconsciousness.
Kakyuu placed the back of her hand on Fighter's forehead, her temperature was high again. She sighed and stood.
"I hope you find what you're searching for.." She whispered, leaving the room.
-End Flashback-
That had happened just moments ago. Kakyuu walked silently down the hall, stopping at the very next door. She knocked three times, and continued walking. Soon Healer rushed out, looking worried and disheveled. Kakyuu did not even turn to acknowledge her. Healer knew it had to be about Fighter's condition, and immediately went to Fighter's room to take care of her.
Kakyuu was now presented with a problem. Fighter was fading fast. Should they tell the Earth senshi? They had helped them out so much in the Galaxia battle, and the Kinmokans were able to return and rebuild their glorious planet. Surely the Earth-sei senshi would like to say good bye to a fellow senshi? Kakyuu sighed. She had hoped they would have returned to Earth, the four of them for a visit. Now..if they returned, there'd only be three.. Kakyuu made her way to the throne room, where she called up a mystical force, to take a small note to the Tsuki no Hime, Usagi Tsukino.
Healer entered Fighter's room, and took note not to wake her from her sleep. She placed a cool wash cloth over Fighter's forehead as tears finally worked their way out.
"Oh Fighter.." She whispered quietly. Her eyes flicked out the window, to the night sky, full of stars, knowing that one would soon be falling...
Healer looked to her comrade, who looked peaceful in her sleep.
"Fighter, I know I could never say this while you were awake.. but I'll miss you. We all will. We all love you so much.." Healer said, arranging Fighter's hair, that had been sprawled on the bed in a huge tangle. She untangled the hair with her fingers, and braided it gently. Even through her gloves she could feel how soft it was. She stared at the deep blue strands sadly. So many times she'd teased Fighter about her hair color. In reality, Healer loved it, it fitted her perfectly. This was one of the last times she'd get to braid it, she realized as she stood up.
"It won't be long before your pain is over.." Healer whispered, knowing Fighter couldn't hear her. She made her way to the far corner and sat in the chair, as she often did. She didn't want to leave her comrade alone. No, she wanted someone to be there with her, always. She didn't want Fighter to be alone when her star began to fall. She leaned forward, planting her elbows on her knees and closed her eyes. Drip...Drip.
Healer could feel the hot droplets hitting her exposed legs. Her throat was tight, she felt nauseous. She hadn't felt this much grief since they had lost their princess. She was about to lose her best friend.
-Flashback-
"Odango!" Seiya yelled as he took a hit meant for Sailor Moon. Yaten and Taiki were horrified. They henshin'd and scared away Tin Nyanko and Lead Crow. They raced over to their fallen comrade, their leader. Healer had never felt so panicked. How could they complete their mission with out the baka? How could they hold onto their hope of finding the princess, if he wasn't there to constantly encourage them. How could they keep on living?
Healer had never used her attack so viciously, with so much force. Not ever...
-End Flashback-
Healer had been so worried then. She thought her leader, her comrade, her fellow star light might seriously die. But she couldn't. Fighter was far too strong to die from an enemy. Healer laughed softly, bitterly.
"The only one Fighter will lose to is herself.." she whispered, giggling softly once more at the irony.
Healers head jerked up as the door opened. She opened her mouth to scream, but held her words when she realized the intruder was Maker. Had it been anyone else, save for Kakyuu, Healer would have dragged their ass outside and beat her to a pulp. Fighter needed to be left alone, she needed rest.
"Seiya?" Maker asked quietly, using the Earthen name. This made Healer smile bitterly. Oh how she wished to return to those carefree days...at the time, they seemed horrible and heart wrenching. It was nothing compared to what they had experienced upon returning.
Receiving no answer, Maker took a knee next to Seiya's bed. She slowly grabbed her comrades hand, and clutched it tightly.
"Seiya I.. I want to thank you. I learned so much from you. I know that sounds ridiculous coming from me.. but there are somethings.. I couldn't understand. Watching your courage, the way you believed in Sailor Moon without knowing a thing about her really.. you made me realize what I lacked. I had the tactics and strength and moves of battles down.. but I lacked the heart." Maker said. Her voice was shakey, and cracking with every other word she said. This was so hard for her.
"Seiya, your the best friend someone could have asked for. You gave so much and asked so little. I wish I had known sooner.. I wish I could have stopped this. I don't want to say good bye to you." Maker's voice was now a whisper, and Healer had to tune in carefully to hear everything she said.
Fighter could hear Maker, and she definitely heard Healer. She was so tired, she couldn't open her eyes or give them a response. A tear slipped down her face in appreciation. It was unnoticed by either of her comrades, who had their vision blurred by tears of their own.
I'm sorry to leave you all alone...please forgive me
Maker peered down at her arm, where a trail of tears had formed. The starlight peeking in through the window made them shine brilliantly. She wanted to scream, sob, punch something. Maker had been so good, at willing her mind to throw emotions away. Yet when she saw her comrade laying there, awaiting the fall of her star, it pained her greatly. A pain she couldn't push away. A pain she couldn't forget. No, a pain she wouldn't forget. She didn't want to. She never wanted to forget the passionate leader whom they all had cherished so much. To be forgotten, was worse than death, she decided.
Maker touched two fingers to Fighter's forehead gently, the Kinmoku equivalent of a kiss, not one for a lover, but one you would give to a child, or perhaps a friend as a means of saying good night. Maker meant it as a good bye. She walked to the door, and looked back on Fighter one last time, before exiting the room.
This gesture broke Healer. This was really going to be it. Her pained sobs echoed mournfully in the room.
Don't cry, Healer.. please...
On Earth, Usagi was preparing for bed. She was running a brush through her hair slowly, remembering the date she had experienced mere hours ago. A soft smile played across her lips as she engraved that day into her heart. A flickering light at her window caught her attention. She made her way to it, and as she opened the window, a note fell. She caught it. Unfolding the strange paper slowly, she read outloud.
"Dear Usagi, we welcome you to the Kinmoku-sei palace. I wish that the matters were less grave, but Star Fighter doesn't have much time. We all wish we had been able to visit Earth once more before this happened, but it does not seem likely now. Please come as quickly as possible, we are running out of time. Kakyuu."
"Star Fighter...Seiya.. doesn't have much time?" Usagi wondered quietly. Suddenly, the meaning sunk in. She felt her heart drop through the floor.
"SEIYA!" She screamed, crescent moon mark appearing on her forehead. In a flash she was transformed into her princess form, and in a streak of hot bright light was gone from her room. She was racing across the universe, headed for Kinmokusei. She didn't care how mad the Outers were with her. She had to see him. She had to see her. The woman who had given Usagi her heart, though Usagi couldn't accept it. The woman who had taken countless hits intended for Usagi. The woman, who's strength and courage kept Usagi going against Galaxia. Usagi felt hot tears leaving her eyes as she made her way to Kinmoku.
"I hope I'm not too late.." Usagi pleaded.
Fighter's thoughts wandered to Earth, and the beautiful Moon Princess who defended it. She wished she had gotten to see her angelic face again. Not that it'd do any good, for they could never be together. Fighter accepted this. She had backed down gracefully. It still would have been nice to feel her beautiful shine in close proximity, though. It would have been a beautiful ending to her life story.
Healer felt a presence nearing Kinmokusei. She reached her mind out to it and felt distress, agony even. The shine behind it was so familiar.. so bright.. so pure. It struck her, and she leaped up. Sailor Moon was here!
Had she come to say goodbye?
Healer dashed out of Fighter's room and sped down the hall, eager to meet her. Maybe.. if Fighter saw her... and felt her brilliant shine.. maybe she wouldn't 'lose gracefully' as she had called it. Maybe she would get her Fighter's spirit back. Maybe.. just maybe.. Healer stopped when she was at the door of the palace. Seconds later, a bright white light flashed in front of her, and there stood Usagi Tsukino, Sailor Moon..but this time, she was wearing a long white dress. She was in her princess form. Healer bowed in respect.
"Healer! Where is she? Where is Fighter?" She asked, stressing the last part.
"I'll take you to her." Healer said, forcing a smile. It wasn't that she didn't want to smile, it was that her heart pained too much to do so genuinely. Oh how she'd miss that cocky, arrogant, annoying teammate. Healer turned around, and walked back to Fighter's room, Usagi hot on her heels. They passed Maker in the hall, who looked absolutely flabbergasted, then concerned, then mildly relieved.
"She came to say goodbye, didn't she?" Maker asked to no one, as Healer and Usagi had already entered Fighters room.
"I asked her to." Kakyuu said quietly, steeping out of the shadows. Maker flinched slightly, having not known her princess was there.
"Why?" Maker asked, pleading with her eyes. The last thing she wanted was her friend, her dear, dear friend to remember the heartbreak she had left behind on Earth.
"Because I know, it's what they both wanted. This will be their final goodbye." Kakyuu said quietly, trying not to let anymore tears slip. Maker placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, and they walked in together.
"Seiya.. I..." Usagi stumbled, unsure of what to say. Fighter willed her eyes to open, and used every piece of strength in her body to pull herself up. She wanted to see her, the beautiful moon princess. And oh how the starlight shone on her! She was even more stunning than Fighter had remembered. A small smiled graced her lips.
"Thank you...for coming to see me..." Fighter said softly.
"It's I who should thank you! You did so much for me, I don't know if I could ever find a way to repay it!" Usagi squealed, as glistening stars made their way down her cheeks. Fighter reached out weakly and brushed them away, as she always had when Usagi missed Mamoru. Now Usagi's tears were for her.
"Don't cry. Please, not for me. This is what I want." Fighter whispered, stroking Usagi's cheek with her fingers gently.
"Why?.." Usagi asked. She felt like her knees were going to collapse from her grief.
"I'm tired, Odango. I've been reborn so many times. I have all my memories, from all my lives. It's burdening. Humans die when they've experienced everything that they need to in life, and most Kinmokans do, as well. Being reborn like this, it's so stressful. My soul is tired. Please...don't cry over me." Fighter pleaded. Usagi nodded and forced a cheerful smile.
"I'm glad at least, I got to see you again.." Usagi said bitterly. This made Fighter's heart skip a beat. Usagi was happy to see her? Fighter's eyes closed and she smiled, relishing in this moment. For once, Usagi's mind wasn't clouded with her boyfriend, she wasn't yearning for him. In this moment, for one short period of time, Usagi was concerned for her.
Maker, Healer and Kakyuu stood in the back of the room, watching in silence. Usagi and Fighter continued to talk for a few hours longer. Fighter began to feel disoriented, as Usagi's face blurred. Her brilliantly beautiful face..She closed her eyes, trying to keep concentration. It wasn't working. This was it.
"Healer.. Maker.." Fighter said softly. They stepped forward, and Usagi stepped back out of the way. Healer sat on the edge of the bed, near her legs, looking at her expectantly. Maker stood at her side, grabbing her hand within her own.
"I want to thank you both..for being there for me when I needed it. I'm so glad I was able to meet you both, and go on adventures. Fighting along side of you two.. I could've never gone so far on my own. I will treasure our memories forever..." Fighter whispered, looking first into Makers lilac gaze, and then Healer's lime green one. It pained her that her friends had tears collecting in their eyes. Fighter had hoped this would be a cheerful, happy goodbye.
Suddenly, Maker cracked. She let out a pained sob and wrapped her arms around her comrade's shoulders. Not too long after, Fighter felt Healer's arms wrap around her waist. She felt a constant drip of hot tears splashing her body.
"Hey, hey guys! What's up with this? You two never wanted me to hug you before, now you're both all over me!" Fighter joked, trying to ease the tension. Between her cries, Maker managed a small giggle, and Yaten smiled, though tears still streamed at a steady pace. After several long minutes, they regained their composure.
"Seiya.. I hope.. you find the rest that you're searching for.." Healer said quietly, backing away. Fighter nodded in response.
"Goodbye, leader..." Maker said. Despite being incredibly formal, Fighter found it touching the way Maker had said that. Even in her weak and useless state, Maker considered her to be a leader. Someone that they would look up to, even after she had gone...
Kakyuu said nothing, as she had said her goodbyes earlier. She wasn't ready to break down again, but knew she would later. Usagi leaned forward and hugged Fighter tightly.
"Thank you for everything.." She whispered. She let go and looked at Fighter's midnight blue eyes, which seemed distant and unfocused. They soon closed, and her breathing began to slow. Usagi let one leg sit on the bed, the other on the floor, supporting her weight. She clutched Fighter's hand tightly, to let her know she was there. She would always be there..
Fighter felt Usagi's grip on her hand, and returned it.
Thank you all...for staying with me..
Usagi let out an agonizing cry when Fighter's grip loosened, slowly at first, and then her gloved hand dropped. She placed her hand over Fighter's face, feeling for breath, for life. Nothing. Fighter was gone. Gone.
Soon, her transformation undid, and her changestar brooch vanished in a beam of light. Fighter's body glowed brightly before disappearing, too. Healer let out a muffled cry, and her and Maker supported each other. It hurt so much. They all ran outside, desperate to watch Fighter's star fall. It was Usagi who spoke as they saw it, bright and strong at first, and then it shot across the sky, and down, leaving a beautiful trail of glimmer behind. Fighter's final sparkle.
"Now one star disappeared..." Usagi spoke, her voice hopeful, but shakey. Everyone's gaze was still on that star, slowly disappearing into the midnight blue sky. That blue.. that was the color of Fighter's eyes. Kakyuu, Healer, Maker, Usagi.. they were all glad of this. All they had to do was look up to the sky, and there she was, in a sense.
Usagi brought her right hand over her heart, as she looked up to the sky.
"But somewhere a new one shines."
Maker nodded in solemn agreement. Healer was leaning completely on Maker for support. She was feeling the grief of everyone, and it was affecting her strongly.
Healer was surprised when her lips opened, and despite her sobs, her voice rang out clear.
"Now, one battle has ended.."
"For a moment, peace has returned." Maker sang, joining her comrade in the mourning of their leader.
"The scattered tears that fell, will probably quietly turn into an eternal legend." Usagi sang.
"Will we revolve again?" They sang together.
"Will nothing change?" Maker sang.
"Was love lost? Kakyuu sang.
"Was love born?" Usagi sang.
"Now, right here, we all are gathered.." Kakyuu sang, her elegant voice echoing to the winds.
"Like the stars up in the sky." Healer sang. She would have continued, but her sobs prevented her from doing so.
"On those planets too, are probably skies with stars shining in them too..." Usagi sang, joining in.
"Will we revolve again?" Maker sang, as the others had become too choked up.
"Will nothing change?" Kakyuu sang.
"Was love lost? Was love born?" Usagi sang.
They all shared a moment of silence, as the last bits of sparkles from Fighter's falling star faded away.
Farewell...
In loving memory of Shiho Niiyama, voice actress of Seiya Kou/Sailor Star Fighter. May you find you eternal rest.