So yeah, I was reading a Harry Potter fanfic one day, it just cracked me up! It was just a few blurbs of the characters passing notes in class, and I thought a Star trek version would be cool! This is based on the new crew in their academy days, instead of paper they use online forums!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Star trek.

Part 1

Kirkilicous: Hey Bonesie, how's it klingin'?

Bad2DBones: I'm not helping you cheat, if that's where this is going...

Kirkilicous: Hey, if I didn't have this stuff covered do you really think I wouldn't be paying attention to the teacher now?

Bad2DBones: Yes.

Kirkilicous: Crabby much?

Bad2DBones: I have 3 tests today, I need to study!

Kirkilicous: Yeah right, you're just trying to avoid me!

Bad2DBones: Gee, why in the world would I do something like that?

Kirkilicous: You're just jealous of my popularity.

Bad2DBones: I'm trying not to get crushed by your enormous ego.

Kirkilicous: When were you looking at my ego? Are you a gay stalker?

Bad2DBones: Yes. By the way, I think you should get that mole on your ass checked out...

Kirkilicous: Know what's weird? I actually have a mole on my ass...

Bad2DBones: Isn't that what I just said?

Kirkilicous: Ew, I thought you were kidding about the gay stalker thing...

Bad2DBones: It's quite hard to convey sarcasm through writing...

Kirkilicous: you were kidding? Thank GOD, I thought I'd have to get a new roommate...

Bad2DBones: That sounds like a good idea to me, I'm getting sick of you walking in every hour of the night...

Kirkilicous: Hey, I have a study group to go to!

Bad2DBones: Study my ass! You told me the first week we were here that you aspired to screw every girl in the academy before you graduate!

Kirkilicous: I'm nearly there too, I'm going alphabetically, Uhura is next...

Bad2DBones: Damn, are you really on "U"? How many do you do a night?

N. Uhura_chick: You realize this isn't a private forum, right?

Kirkilicous: Hey, Uhura! What a coincidence! Hey, you wanna go out tonight?

N. Uhura_chick: Yeah, maybe we could go to that new ice rink called HELL?

Kirkilicous: Is that a yes?

N. Uhura_chick: Burn in hell, Kirk.

Kirkilicous: I can't, it's frozen, remember?

Bad2DBones: Uhura, don't even bother, he won't ever shut up.

Kirkilicous: I will if she goes out with me!

N. Uhura_chick: I'd sooner shave my head and become a nun.

Kirkilicous: Nuns don't shave their heads, monks do!

N. Uhura_chick: I. DON'T. CARE.

Kirkilicous: Hey, does the "N" on your screen title stand for your first name?

N. Uhura_chick: Do you think I would tell you if it did?

Kirkilicous: Is it Nancy? Nellie? Nachelle?

N. Uhura_chick: Again, what makes you think I would just tell you the answer?

Bad2DBones: I'm just saying, he probably won't stop until he finds out...

N. Uhura_chick: This isn't even worth it, I'm logging off...

Kirkilicous: Wait! Don't go! I LOVE YOUUUUU!

Bad2DBones: You say that to every girl to get them to sleep with you...

Kirkilicous: So? It's a good strategy!

Bad2DBones: Uh huh.

Kirkilicous: What? I'm a great stratigizer!

Bad2DBones: I think you mean strategist...

Kirkilicous: Whatever. Same thing.

Bad2DBones: I don't have time for this, I'm logging off too...

Kirkilicous: Wait! Don't go! I LOVE YOUUU!

Bad2DBones: That wasn't funny, that was gay.

Kirkilicous: I thought you were logging off...

Bad2DBones: I am! Now!

Kirkilicous: Then why are you still responding?

Bad2DBones: Why are you still posting if you think I'm gone?

Kirkilicous: But you aren't gone! You keep talking!

Bad2DBones: That's cuz YOU keep talking!

Kirkilicous: NOOOO... you hang up!

Bad2DBones: Screw you. I'm leaving!

Kirkilicous: Are you?

...

Kirkilicous: You're still there, aren't you?

...

Kirkilicous: The south sucks.

Bad2DBones: F**k you! No it doesn't!

Kirkilicous: HA! I knew you wouldn't leave!

Bad2DBones: If you insult the south, you insult me.

Kirkilicous: It was a joke!

Bad2DBones: Goodbye, kirk.

Kirkilicous: See ya, Bones.

So, what do you think? In the next chapters I'll bring in Spock, Chekov and Sulu! Reviews are my fuel, just don't post if you're correcting a spelling error, cuz that just pisses me off...