Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Clearly.

misFortunate Night!

Hiding in a darkened ally-way, a bloodied and beaten man rested, leaning against a wall.

'Shit!'

I was not one for swearing, however, yet another job gone straight to hell. It was all the fault of a certain nocturnal hero… With weapons that have very sharp edges. One of the said bladed objects was currently lodged in my arm.

'That, that… Ruffian! Doing this to me and handling my dear Alice in such a way!' I scowl into the night, 'I should count myself lucky though. At least I got away…'

I look at the wound on your arm and marvel at the pain in my jaw. The Bat really could pack a wallop. 'I need to get help for this… but if I go to a hospital I'll go straight to Arkham.' I felt bile rise in your throat. 'I don't want to go back there…' This raised a bit of a predicament. 'Who would be willing to take in a man like me, especially at this hour?'

Then, realization. 'AH! Of course! He would be more than happy to take me in, he could even fix up my arm!'

As carefully as I could, I ran off into the night, careful not to draw attention to myself. Taking precaution to not be notice made my arrival time much later than what I would have liked, but I've arrived. Weakly I raised my uninjured arm and knocked. My vision was getting blurry, I knock again. 'Oh please be home, I need you to be home…'

When the door opened, I smiled wearily and looked up. A very large, hulking man stood in front of me. This was not the man you needed, but a man that worked for him. My legs felt weak as I tried to push past him.

"Beat it, little man." The large man voiced.

I scoffed, "Move aside, I need your employer. This does not concern you in the slightest." Yet I still failed to pass the brute. The man grabbed me by my bow tie, yanking me forward and lifting me up, causing me to yelp in pain.

"I. Said. BEAT IT!"

I glance over his shoulder and see a man emerge from the shadows, a frown gracing his features.

"I would release me, if I were you…" There was a card slipping in between my fingers.

The large man only laughed. "Of course I'll let you go, just gotta beat you around a little bit, little m-"

I flicked the card behind his ear, "I said for you to release me, and I mean now. Gently."

His movements slow, he put me back down and let go.

"You know how I dislike you controlling my hired help. What could be so important that required a visit at this time?" a voice like velvet sounded from the dark room. I turned your attention to it.

"Pardon the intrusion Jonathan, but I require your assistance in a very important matter."

His eyes flicked towards my arm "As I can see."

He reached up to the larger man and grabbed the card, returning the man to his previous state. The man shook his head and sneered at me, "You little shit! I'M GONNA-"

"Johnson." The man paled and whipped around.

"S-sir! I- I was just trying to get him to leave, don't worry. I can handle it."

"You seemed to be doing a wonderful job of it. Allowing yourself to be controlled must have been part of your brilliant plan, you idiot. Pure genius. You deserve a raise! You obviously are a wonderful listener as well, considering I had told all of you fools that this man has clearance to come and go as he pleases!" I smiled warmly at that.

Johnson paled, "I…" he turned to me, "I'm sorry, sir."

I walked past him, "Not that I don't appreciate you doing this, Jonathan, but… I do require… some… he… lp…" I fell to my knees, gripping my shoulder in pain.

Jonathan sighed, "Johnson, carry him to my office, then return to your post." Johnson picked me up as gently as he could and carried me to your destination, careful not to jostle me in any way. He placed you on a couch by the wall, slightly closer to Jonathan's desk but further from the door, and left the room. Jonathan had followed and closed the door.

He locked the door behind him, grumbling under his breath. It was something about 'privacy' and 'never getting any work done'. He sighed and searched his desk drawers for a medical kit.

I looked down in shame, "I'm sorry to cause you trouble Jonathan… perhaps I should have gone to Edwards hide-out, you seem very busy."

Jonathan slammed a drawer, causing me to jump. "Would be quiet for a moment." With the medical kit in hand, he sat down on the couch with me. "I need to focus on this." I nodded quietly and bit my lip, anticipating the pain that was sure to come.

I heard my jacket and shirt rip. 'Oh well, I guess I can fix them later.' Jonathan gently maneuvered my jacket off. I hissed in pain but complied, helping in the task. He undid my tie and began unbutton my dress shirt, reveling the cuts and bruises from my recent bout with the Bat.

After successfully removing my shirt, he gingerly grabbed the Batarang lodged deep in my arm. "Deep breath." I did the best I could to stifle my yelp of pain as he pulled it out and applied pressure to the wound.

"How you managed to get away with that is beyond me…"

Grimacing and eyes closed, I responded, "Well, I released Alice in order to escape. She was hysterical and distracted him enough for me to run. I guess he decided to either just let me go, or decided that I am not worth the chase…" I gasped in pain as Jonathan began to clean the wound.

"Well, you are going to need stitches. Should I do them?"

I gritted my teeth and curtly nodded. "Seems like the best course of action, yeah?" I looked away as he got ready to stitch my arm. His hands were surprisingly gentle, despite the pain of the stitches.

"You are handling this well. Is there anything you need? Perhaps some of your god forsaken tea? You know; that crap that you keep leaving in my hide-outs…" I smiled at his coarse humor.

"That would be nice. I have been through hell today." I smiled wearily and leaned into Jonathan after he finished stitching me up, leaving me shirtless. I stared at his handy work. What a good man. He even wrapped it up for me.

"Tetch, I cannot get you some tea if you are laying on me." He smirked and I huffed.

With my cheeks puffed in a pout, I looked up at him, "Maybe the tea isn't worth it. I just want to relax, and you are the most comfortable place." He chuckled softly and leaned back, relaxing. I shifted and laid down on his lap. It was so quiet, just the two of you in that large office. The pain in my arm was starting to dull. As I started to get very comfortable, I felt my hair being stroked. I nuzzled into his thigh.

Sighing contentedly I turned onto my side, facing him, and gripped his thigh. I felt him shift beneath me and I grunted in displeasure.

"Aw, don't move. I haven't been this comfortable in days." I looked up at him with a smile. He ran his thumb over my cheek, causing my face to flush, and smiled softly.

"It has been a while since you have been here, hasn't it Jervis?" I thought for a moment and nodded.

"Yeah, it has been a while. Did you miss me?" I questioned as I nuzzled into him.

"Not really."

I glared up at him, "Liar."

He laughed, "I suppose you caught me then." I grinned. "However, I am a bit concerned about your arm. I'm not that kind of doctor. I handled the mind, not the body. You know this, so why did you come to me?"

"Well if you must ask, there are a couple of reasons. One, you wouldn't try to kill me. That is important. Two, I knew that you wouldn't turn me away. Three, I trust you, and four, well…. I missed you." I gave a slight pout. A manly pout.

His eyes widened in surprise, "You missed me? I'm touched." He lightly squeezed my injured arm, being careful not to harm me. I lightly batted his hand away and reached up to his face, caressing it gently.

"Why would that be a surprise? You are my best friend; it's only natural that I would miss you." I smiled, 'It is just too bad that 'friends' is all we can ever be…'

"Ah, yes of course. I don't understand why 'best friend', but I suppose. You are around me frequently enough, so I guess that qualifies." He looked down at me with a strange look in his eyes, something almost akin to sadness. I was a little confused. Why such the look. I have noticed many strange looks from Jonathan in the past. If he looked sad now, there must be a reason. Could looks like these sad looks have a deeper meaning? I dared to dream that one day, things could maybe be different between the two of you. This didn't mean that I don't want Alice anymore. I always would want her, but perhaps I could treat her like a daughter instead.

But that could never happen. Jonathan would never be really interested in me the way I wanted. I have had such feelings for a man before, but with Jonathan… they were so strong. But it was folly. Such feelings would never truly grow if Jonathan never showed physical interest.

I couldn't help but to recall Harley's words, 'ya know Jervy, maybe you should try startin somethin yerself! I think you two would be just ADORABLE!' Maybe she had a point.

I sighed softly, 'I could never do that. I value his friendship far too much to ruin it with that. But… one can always hope? Can't I pray for love too?'

Jonathan stared at me with a serious look. "I have a question for you." he murmured quietly. He looked pensive.

"Yes, of course. You can ask me anything." Anything he was wanting to know, I was willing to answer.

After a moment of silence, Jonathan spoke up, "Why Alice?" I must have looked confused. "I mean. Alice… Aren't there more… interesting characters? Like, the queens for example? Or even, oh what to you call Edward… the cat, right?" I nodded. "What do you call me? Do I have a special character?"

I smiled, "Yes of course you do. You are one that I hold in great esteem actually!" He raised an eyebrow, seemingly in interest. "Why, you are the Caterpillar of course!"

"I'm a bug? A drug smoking bug?" He seemed insulted by the comparison. Oh dear. I should clear this up.

"I think of you as the smartest in all of Wonderland. Always there with the best answers. And if one is not smart enough to figure out your advice, then they shouldn't be asking in the first place." I snuggled into his leg. "And as for the smoke? Fear toxin. You almost always have a cloud of it around yourself. Very glad you have given me some antidote."

He regarded me a moment. "Well, I couldn't have you screaming in terror every time we met up." He shifted. "Anyway, like I was saying. Why do you always go for Alice and not a different character?"

I shrugged, "I guess its because she is the main focus of Wonderland. But it has become less about loving her. Its more about just having an Alice in Wonderland." That seemed to have struck a cord within him.

He seemed pleased with my answer and resumed his action. I hummed as Jonathan's hand ran through my hair, stroking it like a cat. Then he started rubbing my back, ooh it felt really nice. I gave a light moan of appreciation and his hand stilled for a moment.

"Was that nice, Jervis?" I shifted; his voice was different than normal, it was thicker. I looked up at him with questioning eyes. He had his wonderful smirk on his face, the one he has when he knows he will win. "How about you just lay on your stomach and I give it a little rub?"

I gave a soft smile, "That would be nice." He stood and let me lay down. After I got situated, I felt him straddle my legs, his groin aligned with my rear. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves as his hands softly rubbed against my bare skin. I quivered against his touch and yet, I seemed to just melt under his hands.

His hands would drift around my shoulders (mindful of the injury, thank goodness), mid back, and lower back. Even to the point in which I arched my back to his touch. Soon I felt like dough, kneading to his will, until I noticed that his hips had started to rock against me; and had probably been happening for a little while, if the stiffness between his legs were any indication.

I turned as much as I could to look at him; he was biting his lip and looking at me hungrily with want. Though, it was a little muted with caution. I felt your face heat up. He smiled and laughed quietly.

"What do you say Hatter? Care to give the Caterpillar a try instead of Alice?" I shivered and nodded eagerly. "Oh come on Hatter, I want to hear you say it." Oh, the tone of authority in his voice was thrilling!

"I- I want to be with you, my dear sweet Caterpillar" His smile grew, "… Alice… Alice be damned!"

He raised a brow "Oh really? Well, Hatter. Are you sure?" He was taunting me. Trying to edge me on, to get me to say something, and by the Red Queen herself, I was going to give it to him. "I need… I need YOU Jonathan! I WANT you! And I shall HAVE you!" I proclaimed and struggled to get up. My abrupt movements startling Jonathan, causing him to move off me.

I to a brief moment to take a breath and try to calm myself. Certainly wouldn't do any good to be all riled up and pop off too early. Of course, there was the fact I was psyching myself up to do something I have never done before.

I turned around to find Jonathan sprawled out on the couch, his pants undone and slightly pulled down. Apparently he didn't wear underwear, and his phallus exposed, erect, and in his hand. I froze for a moment, unsure as to what to do. Jonathan beckoned me closer with his free hand, to which I obeyed. He cupped under my chin and pulled me closer, our lips meeting in a kiss. I kissed him eagerly, my heart pounding.

'Really? I can't believe that this is happening!' My hands gingerly trailed down his chest, hesitating when I reached his waist. He rolled his hips in anticipation, lowly growling against my lips.

"It's not going to bite, Jerv. Trust me, it's fine." I let out a breath of air that I didn't realize I was holding. He kissed my cheek, my throat, my collarbone, as my hands finally reached his moving one. Shaking, I held his hand, helping him with his strokes. He let me control the speed and the pressure.

I could feel my pants getting tighter and I whined into his mouth. "Jonathan~ please, I… I need to, I need… oh mercy…." He pushed me back a little to help me with my problem. As the pressure was relieved and I was released from the rest of my clothing, I heard him make a surprised noise.

"Well, what a big boy you are, Jervis…" he pushed me to lay down and allowed me to adjust, "You wouldn't mind if I had a taste, would you?" I looked at him in awe as he licked up my member, and then engulfed the tip into his wet mouth.

I threw your head back with a moan. "JONATHAN~!" My hands curled in his hair. 'Why is he doing that? Oh lord!' I couldn't keep in my moans. I couldn't focus, it was all so much. All I could hear was the blood rushing and pounding in my ears. I looked back at him as he slowly stripped his pants the rest of the way off, moaning like a whore the whole time. 'There is no way he is enjoying this that much…'

Jonathan pulled off and smirked at me, "Jervis, you have no idea how bad I want this right now…" I flushed a deep red. "Jerv, I need you in me, please. We could do it just this once, but just don't stop it here…"

"I-…" I swallowed roughly, "I just haven't done this with another man. You will have to show me how…". Jonathan backed off slowly and walked briskly over to his desk. 'Shoot. Did I just mess things up?' I though frantically. He fiddled with a drawer for a moment and came back with a tube in his hand.

He grinned like the Cheshire cat and leaned in for a kiss. He straddled my hips and poured the strange goop in his hands. Then he reached around behind him. He bit his lip as his hand worked behind him. He rocked his hips against me, our members rubbing against each other. After a few moments of this, Jonathan shifted up and maneuvered my member.

"Now, don't move until I say so." And he inched me in, causing me to yell out in pleasure. I resist the urge to move, not an easy feat, as he would slowly rock, adjusting to my size, and squeezing more and more of me into himself. It was maddening. I would have gone bonkers, if I wasn't already. After what felt like an eternity, he looked down at me with a devilish grin, "God, I think I can feel you in my chest. But you're *pant* you're in there." He continued his small rocking.

"Mmmmm, ok… give it a shot…" Jonathan moaned out. I gave a small thrust and his breath hitched. I grabbed his hips and thrusted again. 'Oh this feels so good!'

"Jonathan~! Oh lord, this is good…" I began to form a rhythm, bouncing Jonathan on my lap. Jonathan leaned back, resting his hands on my legs. I had never seen anything so erotic. I could see him sweating with effort, biting his lip in concentration. He groaned in pleasure. I thrusted up faster. He pushed himself off of my legs for better balance.

"Jervis! Oh Jervis! Yes! Fuck yes, like that!" He reached his arms around my neck, moaning and gasping in my ear. I let out a small hiss from the pain, his arm brushing the wound in mine.

I wrapped my arms around him, marveling at how thin he is, not wanting to hold him too tightly but at the same time, I wanted to squeeze him and show him how I feel. I kissed up his neck and nipped him slightly, listening to him whine. I was also surprised by how vocal he could be. As if he had completely forgotten that he had guards posted around his hide-out. As if the only thing had mattered was me and what I was doing to him. And if that wasn't a heady thought, then what was?

I couldn't help but to marvel at how his body twisted to get me in deeper. He grinded down on me. Giving a drawn out moan. "Jerrvyy~ God just like that." He gave a whimper, his body shaking. I was shaking. Never in my wildest dreams would Jonathan want me, or ever sound like this. This is all I've ever wanted. To have someone to want me like this. 'I should have done this long ago...' one of the clearest thoughts in my fog addled brain.

I nosed into his neck and bit down, not enough to draw blood but enough to bruise. He gasped and gave a throaty moan. Giving the bite a small kiss, I reached up and threaded my hand in his hair. I tugged slightly and he pulled back. His eyes were unfocused and his lips red, probably from biting them. He took a gasping breath with every thrust. I released his hair and let my hands find purchase on his hips. I was in control. I gave a hard thrust up and he almost screamed, he threw his head back and gripped my shoulders. He was dripping precum all over my stomach.

I desired to give him the relief that he seemed so desperately craving. I trailed my hand gently over to his cock, lightly grasping it and relishing in the strangled moan he gave. "Please! For the love of fuck, Please!" He gave me desperate eyes, "I don't wanna cum yet. Please just let me have you for a little longer! Fuck!" His body jerked as I ran my thumb over the sensitive head. "Not yet, not yet, not yet, please!" He practically sobbed. Confused, I obliged and let go.

He pushed me back down, keeping his hands on my chest. "Let me, fuck, let me do this." He changed the pace, slowing it down considerably. He went at an almost leisurely pace, grinding against me, trying to prolong the inevitable. He looked desperate. "Please, God just- Please..."

Gingerly, I reached up and caressed his face, "Jon..." I gripped his hip with my other hand, stilling him. "Jon, whats wrong?" The concern evident on my face. I had never seen such a look on him before. Desperation, shame, and sadness.

A look of panic over took him. "N-nothings wrong… I just… don't want this to end..." He looked ashamed of himself, "I mean… can you blame me? I've wanted you for so long and now, even if its for this short amount of time, I have you. After this, things are gonna go back to the way they were." He gave a small rock of his hips, "Is it wrong to want to enjoy this?"

I was quiet for a moment, "Jon. Do you want everything to go back to the way it was?" He shook his head. "Then don't worry!" I smiled brightly at him as he shot a look at me. "I… don't want this to be the last time that I'm with you. Jon, I wouldn't have done this if I didn't want this too, you minx." He frowned slightly, "Although," I started trailing my hand up his side and back down to his leg, "I would have to say that I am thoroughly seduced."

He gave a snort of laughter, "Jervis-" he started. He cleared his throat and tried again, "Thank you. Sorry I'm ruining the mood." He gave a long sigh.

I rocked my hips against his, causing his sigh to stutter. "Oh, I wouldn't say that. Doesn't feel ruined to me." I reached to grip his hips again, "In fact," I stated softly, "I would say that our fun is just starting. Wouldn't you?"

There it was. That devilish grin again. The renewed energy. He continued his onslaught of pleasure upon me with new vigor. This time he didn't push my hands away when I tried to touch him back. I grasped him again, and together we worked to climax. He slammed his hips down on mine, the rhythm of our love making starting to falter. I could feel that coiling of heat in my groin. I wouldn't be lasting much longer.

"J-Jerv! I can't! I want-" I pulled him down for a kiss, my other hand quickening its pace on his manhood.

Breaking apart from the kiss, I panted against his lips "Me too, Jon. Don't stop!" Our moans filled the room until finally I couldn't take it anymore.

With my blood on fire, I thrusted up and released. I could only gather enough consciousness to shout his name, "JON!"

He gasped, shaking, and continued his motions "That right Jervy! Let it go!" He growled, "Oh fuck! I'm so close! Just-just a little more!" His hand over took mine going a little rougher and squeezing a little tighter.

Spent as I was, an unthoughtful lover I am not. I was going to bring him the same satisfaction that he brought me. "There's a good boy. Come on, you can do it. You can cum for me. Please Jon, I want to see it. I want to see you. You're so beautiful Jon."

He shivered and moaned. "I'll fucking coat you in it. So good, God you're so good to me." His head was thrown back, his muscles were tightening, and he was covered in a sheen of sweat. "I-God, I wanna cover you in it. Can I? Fuck, can I paint you?"

I nodded enthusiastically, "God yes. Come on Jon. Do it. Can you do it for me? Will you cum for me, Darling?" He could only gasp in reply. This was it.

He casted me a dazed look as he released. It splattered on to my chest, some of it even reaching my neck and my face. He was beautiful. This was more than I could have ever hoped. More than I could have ever dreamed. He was now trying to catch his breath, both hands on my chest, and had a large grin.

He trailed a finger through the mess that he has left on me. "It's a good look for you." You both grinned at each other. "I think that I'll have to do this again. Repeat the results."

"Ah. Yes. For science, right?" I teased. He nodded and shifted. I noticed the slight wince he gave. "We should probably go and bathe, my love. I'd hate to have to deal with all this later." He lifted himself up and I slipped out, spent and flaccid.

His legs shook a little with effort as he crawled off of me. I scrambled after him, "Would you like help to the shower? I can help you bathe." I suggested quietly.

He pondered for a moment. "Yes, I'd like that very much. But first, help me get dressed. I don't want those Neanderthals out there to see me like this. Or you." He wrapped his arms around my neck, "Only I should get to see you like this."

I kissed him, "Of course, my love. Only you. And I'd hate for you to be embarrassed. Nothing to do with the fact that you are mine. Nope. Not at all." I pinched his behind, a little impishly, and went to gather our clothing.

As we dressed, I couldn't help but have a small fear enter my mind. What if this was all an illusion? What if this was just a dream again. Jonathan took my hand and pulled me out of the room towards his sleeping quarters and, as if God itself heard me, my arm began to throb. There's no pain in an illusion. No pain in a dream. All that had happened was real. And I couldn't wait to tell Harley!