Chapter One
Twas the night before Christmas, and pretty much every single teen in Middleton was out partying. Or at least that was how it looked to Kim Possible when she walked in the door of one of the numerous parties that night in Middleton. It had started like most other parties that evening with a bunch of freshmen paying an older sibling to buy them a keg of beer and a few bottles of vodka. With alcohol in their possession they had decided to have a little party, and it had pretty much gone downhill from there. The celebration had escalated from a simple twenty-person affair to every single freshman, and most of the sophomore class, of Middleton High showing up at the front door in varying stages of inebriation. No one knew how the word had spread so fast - Kim had heard about it from Monique, who had heard about it from Vinnie, who had heard about it from Big Mike, and so on.
Kim, Ron and Monique had all decided to walk to the party since it was so close and they had no intentions of trying to drive home drunk. Once inside they each picked up a drink (Coke for the girls and a beer for an adventurous Ron) and found the nearest couch to crash on.
They'd been marinating there for a while when Kim suddenly jumped up and went over to say 'hi' to Josh Mankey, who had just arrived with some of his 'buds'. Ron watched out of the corner of his eye; envious of Josh for having a girl like her crushing on him. It wasn't that liked her as more than a friend but that like every other guy in his grade he thought she was unbelievably hot. When he looked at her it was his libido that began to tremble, not his heart.
Especially tonight, with Kim wearing a tight, dark green sweater and a pair of skin hugging jet-black pants. He had no idea how she did it, but for some reason she seemed tonight very well endowed in the chest area, and Ron was having a hard time keeping his eyes off 'the twins'. He knew with a heavy heart that she was wearing the outfit for Josh, not him, but that didn't keep him from staring at her almost constantly.
"What's up," Monique asked, noticing the excited expression on Kim's face when she returned to the couch. Kim leaned over and whispered something in her ear before settling back down on the couch, smiling.
"What'd she say?" Ron asked Monique quietly, hoping Kim didn't notice. Usually if Kim wanted to keep something private he respected her discretion - but this was about Josh, and so to him privacy didn't apply. This was mainly because Ron was extremely jealous and so wanted to know everything that went on between the two.
"Kim says that she and Josh just had some kind of moment," Monique whispered in his ear.
"What does that mean?" he asked.
"You think I know?" she replied.
"I should probably check with Josh, right?" Ron ventured, knowing they needed a second opinion on what the hell had happened.
"I think so, yeah," agreed Monique.
"Keep her busy for a while then," Ron told her while motioning to a jovial looking Kim who at the moment was sipping on her Coke, completely oblivious to the world around her.
"Gotcha," Monique said as he rose from the couch with his empty glass in hand. He headed to the kitchen, pretending he needed a new drink, but instead he bypassed the bar and headed to the back of the house.
Josh was outside, lying on a deck chair and watching a bunch of kids finish off a joint before beginning to chuck snowballs at each other. Ron managed to get pegged in the elbow as he approached, sending Josh into hysterics while Ron dusted the snow off his now damp arm. Approaching Josh, Ron could tell he had definitely been hitting the liquor a little from the dazed look in his eyes and his flushed complexion.
"Hey dude, what's up," Josh greeted him amicably and motioned to the empty deck chair next to him. "Have a seat."
"Don't mind if I do," Ron replied, adopting the same devil-may-care, too- lazy-to-get-off-my-ass attitude that Josh embodied.
"How's it going? What've you been up to?" Josh asked, taking a sip from his beer before tossing Ron one from the six-pack he had chilling in the snow.
"Thanks," Ron said, popping it open and taking a swig. "Haven't been up to much - what about you?"
"Bout the same, 'bout the same. Hey, did you see Kim tonight?"
"Yeah - I came in with her," Ron told him. Josh sat in silence, contemplating something for a few moments before speaking:
"Damn she's hot."
Ron had expected something a little deeper, but figured that Josh wasn't feeling too lucid tonight, and so played along.
"Oh yeah, you're right about that," he agreed while feeling a twinge of guilt for saying something like that about Kim. Even though he did believe that she was probably the most beautiful girl in their grade, he still felt uncomfortable saying it out loud. He just didn't think it was something he should say about his best friend.
"Hey, what happened back there when you two hooked up?" he asked, cutting right to the chase. "I heard someone say you guys had a moment or whatever."
A puzzled look crossed Josh's face and Ron knew he had experienced no such moment.
"Moment? What kind of moment?" he asked after a moment of thought.
"I dunno, just a 'moment'," was all Ron could give as an explanation. Even the use of finger quotes around the word 'moment' didn't help.
"We-ll, I did grab her ass. Maybe that was it," Josh said.
"Nah, I don't think so," disagreed Ron. He was about to get up and go back inside to his seat now that he knew the moment Kim had experienced never really happened. But then Josh said something that caught his attention.
"Yeah, but it was a nice ass," he pointed out. "You know, like the really tight. firm ass that's still just so soft and. mmh!"
Ron sat and watched Josh fantasizing over his best friend's ass, and slowly his temper began to rise.
"I know what you mean," said Ron, trying to act normal.
"And hopefully I'll get some more of it later on," Josh confided in him.
"What?" Ron sat up, suddenly suspicious.
"I'm gonna get myself a little Christmas booty - if you know what I mean," said Josh, winking at Ron. "When the clock hits midnight, I'll be in bed hittin Kim. It's gonna be awesome with her hot little body underneath me. You should listen for it; she's gonna be moanin and wailing as we do the horizontal mambo."
"Over my dead body," Ron growled.
"Sorry, what'd you say?" Josh asked Ron, who was rising up from his deckchair. These were his last words before he was hit full in the face with a plastic deckchair which knocked him onto the snow-covered patio. Everyone around them took at step back as Ron began to rail blows down onto Josh, not wanting to be hit by a stray fist. They watched in silence for a while and then realized it was a fight - so they began to egg Ron on with calls of "Yeah, kick his ass!" and "Go for the groin!" But their words fell on deaf ears, since Ron's mind was too clouded with rage to register anything other than the sight of him kicking Josh repeatedly in the stomach and face. He then pulled him back to his feet to give Josh the chance to land a few half-hearted blows against his upper arms and chest before pummelling him in the face.
Monique heard the cheering and told Kim to keep talking to Tara while she went to check what was going on. Once out back, she was horrified to see her friend going after a now blood-covered Josh, who was past the point of trying to retaliate. Slowly he was backed up against a wall, where Ron grabbed him by his hair and slammed his face into the red brick again and again.
"What's going on? Why are they fighting?" Monique asked the nearest kid - an acne freshman.
He looked back quizzically before replying: "You call that a fight? That's a one sided ass kicking."
"Yeah, I got that," Monique replied sarcastically. "But why'd it start?"
"No idea," the kid replied, turning back to the action.
"Josh started talking about doing some girl and Ron flipped," the pustuled freshman's friend told her, having overheard their conversation.
"Which girl," asked Monique, hoping it wasn't Zita - it definitely wouldn't help Ron's chances if he got the reputation as her psycho, overprotective bodyguard. Especially if she saw what Josh's face looked like after the fight.
"That cheerleader that everyone thinks he's got a crush on - Kim something or other. saves the world and stuff. you know her, right?"
"Yeah, I know her," Monique replied, turning to watch the fight again. She was torn between going in and pulling Ron away, or going in and helping him hold Josh's head up. Even though she didn't like seeing Ron beating the crap out of someone, she was glad to see Ron cared enough about Kim to want to protect her.
Ron was now holding Josh up by the lapels of his blood soaked jacket, talking quietly to him as everyone watched.
"Listen to me," Ron commanded, slapping Josh a few times to get his attention. "I don't care if you like Kim or if she likes you - but if you ever, ever say something like that about her again, I WILL kill you."
He then let him drop to the ground, and walked back into the house. No one moved for a moment, shocked that the fight was over. They let Josh lie on the snowy ground groaning, fearing that Ron would come back outside and start wailing on anyone who tried to help him up. Slowly the crowd dispersed, each member retelling the fight blow by blow to each other like commentators after a sports game. And though no one mentioned it they had all heard Ron's threat, and had silently decided not to mess with Kim - ever.
Meanwhile Monique led Ron back to the couch. They never spoke, but he knew that she had seen the entire fight, and yet wasn't a bit angry. At that moment he realized how lucky he was to have a friend like her.
"Hi Monique, Ron," Kim greeted them as they sat down on opposite sides of her. "Where've you been?"
"I went looking for Josh, to see if he wanted to join us," Ron explained, covering himself well. "But I think he's already left for another party."
"That's weird," observed Kim. "He told me he'd be here at least until one in the morning."
"I guess he changed his mind," Monique said, trying to steer Kim away from the subject of Josh. "You guys want anything to drink?"
"A Coke thanks," Ron replied as she got up.
"Me too, thanks Monique," Kim said.
"Be right back," Monique said, leaving Kim and Ron alone.
"So, how's it going?" Kim asked nestling back against the soft leather armrest.
"Pretty good, pretty good," Ron replied nonchalantly, pulling a half eaten hot dog out from under him. He threw it away in disgust once he realized what it was.
"Aw, that is so wrong!" he exclaimed while Kim giggled.
"So, what have you been up to besides sitting on rotting food?" she asked. But before he got a chance to answer, she placed a finger to his lips and said: "Let me guess - downing snackage, playing Fortress with Rufus and sleeping till noon."
"Close," Ron countered. "But it's Space Troopers - the only video game where you get an Uzi in a space station and have to hunt down mutated astronauts with six heads."
"Sounds thrilling," Kim said sardonically. "And that's all you've been doing?"
"Yeah, but it's the vacation. I guess you expect me not to wake up late on vacation? Huh, that's like not cheating on a test - you're just hurting yourself if you don't do it."
"That's a joke, right?" Kim asked, worried.
"Uh, yeah. a joke. sure," Ron replied while trying to act innocent. "So, what've you been up to?"
"Mostly Christmas shopping," she said, smiling as Ron's face brightened.
"Ohhh, Christmas shopping. Anything for me?" he asked excitedly.
"Maybe," she teased.
"What does that mean?"
"That means you don't get any present if you haven't been a good boy this year," Kim replied playfully. Ron began to wonder if she was coming onto him. Her husky voice certainly sounded like it.
"I can't believe you would think I've been anything but!" Ron exclaimed, playing along.
"Prove it."
"We-ll," Ron hesitated, trying to come up with something. "Would helping you with the whole save the world thing count?"
"Probably."
"Score - now where's my present?" he asked, hoping it was something cool, since Kim was usually great at picking out gifts.
"Why don't you come and get it," she invited and from her warm tones, Ron knew she had been hitting on him. Her relaxed posture and her dark, lustful expression was all he needed to realize what Kim wanted - for him to kiss her. He was right - she did always know the perfect gift to get him. In a trance, not caring why she had decided to let him make out with her, he leaned into her tempting mouth. He was close enough to smell the sweet scent of her perfume; with their lips barely an inch apart, when he heard a familiar ring from her purse. Kim groaned in exasperation, but still pulled the Kimmunicator out and switched it on.
"What up Wade?" she greeted him with less enthusiasm than usual.
"Hi Kim. am I disturbing something?" he asked, sensing his call had interrupted a private moment.
"No, it's okay, don't worry," she replied, trying to hide her annoyance at the interruption. "What do you need?"
"Drakken and Shego just robbed a series of banks in New York and now they're waiting at the airport for a flight out. The local law enforcement officials have asked for your help in capturing them," he told her.
"Wade, can't they handle this one," Kim protested. "They have SWAT teams and stuff, don't they?"
"Yeah, but now that Drakken's stranded at the airport because of a snowstorm he's taken hostages," replied Wade. "He's threatening to kill them off one by one if he doesn't get a plane within an hour."
"Alright, we're coming," Kim promised. "Where do we need to go?"
"I've got you a ride at the Middleton Space Center, so do you think your parents could drive you there?"
"Sure thing," she replied. "I guess I'll talk to you later?"
"Call me if you need anything," he told her before signing off.
After grabbing her coat, she said goodbye to Monique - who was still standing in a line for the Cokes - and then she and Ron were out the door, trudging through the snow to her house.
Twas the night before Christmas, and pretty much every single teen in Middleton was out partying. Or at least that was how it looked to Kim Possible when she walked in the door of one of the numerous parties that night in Middleton. It had started like most other parties that evening with a bunch of freshmen paying an older sibling to buy them a keg of beer and a few bottles of vodka. With alcohol in their possession they had decided to have a little party, and it had pretty much gone downhill from there. The celebration had escalated from a simple twenty-person affair to every single freshman, and most of the sophomore class, of Middleton High showing up at the front door in varying stages of inebriation. No one knew how the word had spread so fast - Kim had heard about it from Monique, who had heard about it from Vinnie, who had heard about it from Big Mike, and so on.
Kim, Ron and Monique had all decided to walk to the party since it was so close and they had no intentions of trying to drive home drunk. Once inside they each picked up a drink (Coke for the girls and a beer for an adventurous Ron) and found the nearest couch to crash on.
They'd been marinating there for a while when Kim suddenly jumped up and went over to say 'hi' to Josh Mankey, who had just arrived with some of his 'buds'. Ron watched out of the corner of his eye; envious of Josh for having a girl like her crushing on him. It wasn't that liked her as more than a friend but that like every other guy in his grade he thought she was unbelievably hot. When he looked at her it was his libido that began to tremble, not his heart.
Especially tonight, with Kim wearing a tight, dark green sweater and a pair of skin hugging jet-black pants. He had no idea how she did it, but for some reason she seemed tonight very well endowed in the chest area, and Ron was having a hard time keeping his eyes off 'the twins'. He knew with a heavy heart that she was wearing the outfit for Josh, not him, but that didn't keep him from staring at her almost constantly.
"What's up," Monique asked, noticing the excited expression on Kim's face when she returned to the couch. Kim leaned over and whispered something in her ear before settling back down on the couch, smiling.
"What'd she say?" Ron asked Monique quietly, hoping Kim didn't notice. Usually if Kim wanted to keep something private he respected her discretion - but this was about Josh, and so to him privacy didn't apply. This was mainly because Ron was extremely jealous and so wanted to know everything that went on between the two.
"Kim says that she and Josh just had some kind of moment," Monique whispered in his ear.
"What does that mean?" he asked.
"You think I know?" she replied.
"I should probably check with Josh, right?" Ron ventured, knowing they needed a second opinion on what the hell had happened.
"I think so, yeah," agreed Monique.
"Keep her busy for a while then," Ron told her while motioning to a jovial looking Kim who at the moment was sipping on her Coke, completely oblivious to the world around her.
"Gotcha," Monique said as he rose from the couch with his empty glass in hand. He headed to the kitchen, pretending he needed a new drink, but instead he bypassed the bar and headed to the back of the house.
Josh was outside, lying on a deck chair and watching a bunch of kids finish off a joint before beginning to chuck snowballs at each other. Ron managed to get pegged in the elbow as he approached, sending Josh into hysterics while Ron dusted the snow off his now damp arm. Approaching Josh, Ron could tell he had definitely been hitting the liquor a little from the dazed look in his eyes and his flushed complexion.
"Hey dude, what's up," Josh greeted him amicably and motioned to the empty deck chair next to him. "Have a seat."
"Don't mind if I do," Ron replied, adopting the same devil-may-care, too- lazy-to-get-off-my-ass attitude that Josh embodied.
"How's it going? What've you been up to?" Josh asked, taking a sip from his beer before tossing Ron one from the six-pack he had chilling in the snow.
"Thanks," Ron said, popping it open and taking a swig. "Haven't been up to much - what about you?"
"Bout the same, 'bout the same. Hey, did you see Kim tonight?"
"Yeah - I came in with her," Ron told him. Josh sat in silence, contemplating something for a few moments before speaking:
"Damn she's hot."
Ron had expected something a little deeper, but figured that Josh wasn't feeling too lucid tonight, and so played along.
"Oh yeah, you're right about that," he agreed while feeling a twinge of guilt for saying something like that about Kim. Even though he did believe that she was probably the most beautiful girl in their grade, he still felt uncomfortable saying it out loud. He just didn't think it was something he should say about his best friend.
"Hey, what happened back there when you two hooked up?" he asked, cutting right to the chase. "I heard someone say you guys had a moment or whatever."
A puzzled look crossed Josh's face and Ron knew he had experienced no such moment.
"Moment? What kind of moment?" he asked after a moment of thought.
"I dunno, just a 'moment'," was all Ron could give as an explanation. Even the use of finger quotes around the word 'moment' didn't help.
"We-ll, I did grab her ass. Maybe that was it," Josh said.
"Nah, I don't think so," disagreed Ron. He was about to get up and go back inside to his seat now that he knew the moment Kim had experienced never really happened. But then Josh said something that caught his attention.
"Yeah, but it was a nice ass," he pointed out. "You know, like the really tight. firm ass that's still just so soft and. mmh!"
Ron sat and watched Josh fantasizing over his best friend's ass, and slowly his temper began to rise.
"I know what you mean," said Ron, trying to act normal.
"And hopefully I'll get some more of it later on," Josh confided in him.
"What?" Ron sat up, suddenly suspicious.
"I'm gonna get myself a little Christmas booty - if you know what I mean," said Josh, winking at Ron. "When the clock hits midnight, I'll be in bed hittin Kim. It's gonna be awesome with her hot little body underneath me. You should listen for it; she's gonna be moanin and wailing as we do the horizontal mambo."
"Over my dead body," Ron growled.
"Sorry, what'd you say?" Josh asked Ron, who was rising up from his deckchair. These were his last words before he was hit full in the face with a plastic deckchair which knocked him onto the snow-covered patio. Everyone around them took at step back as Ron began to rail blows down onto Josh, not wanting to be hit by a stray fist. They watched in silence for a while and then realized it was a fight - so they began to egg Ron on with calls of "Yeah, kick his ass!" and "Go for the groin!" But their words fell on deaf ears, since Ron's mind was too clouded with rage to register anything other than the sight of him kicking Josh repeatedly in the stomach and face. He then pulled him back to his feet to give Josh the chance to land a few half-hearted blows against his upper arms and chest before pummelling him in the face.
Monique heard the cheering and told Kim to keep talking to Tara while she went to check what was going on. Once out back, she was horrified to see her friend going after a now blood-covered Josh, who was past the point of trying to retaliate. Slowly he was backed up against a wall, where Ron grabbed him by his hair and slammed his face into the red brick again and again.
"What's going on? Why are they fighting?" Monique asked the nearest kid - an acne freshman.
He looked back quizzically before replying: "You call that a fight? That's a one sided ass kicking."
"Yeah, I got that," Monique replied sarcastically. "But why'd it start?"
"No idea," the kid replied, turning back to the action.
"Josh started talking about doing some girl and Ron flipped," the pustuled freshman's friend told her, having overheard their conversation.
"Which girl," asked Monique, hoping it wasn't Zita - it definitely wouldn't help Ron's chances if he got the reputation as her psycho, overprotective bodyguard. Especially if she saw what Josh's face looked like after the fight.
"That cheerleader that everyone thinks he's got a crush on - Kim something or other. saves the world and stuff. you know her, right?"
"Yeah, I know her," Monique replied, turning to watch the fight again. She was torn between going in and pulling Ron away, or going in and helping him hold Josh's head up. Even though she didn't like seeing Ron beating the crap out of someone, she was glad to see Ron cared enough about Kim to want to protect her.
Ron was now holding Josh up by the lapels of his blood soaked jacket, talking quietly to him as everyone watched.
"Listen to me," Ron commanded, slapping Josh a few times to get his attention. "I don't care if you like Kim or if she likes you - but if you ever, ever say something like that about her again, I WILL kill you."
He then let him drop to the ground, and walked back into the house. No one moved for a moment, shocked that the fight was over. They let Josh lie on the snowy ground groaning, fearing that Ron would come back outside and start wailing on anyone who tried to help him up. Slowly the crowd dispersed, each member retelling the fight blow by blow to each other like commentators after a sports game. And though no one mentioned it they had all heard Ron's threat, and had silently decided not to mess with Kim - ever.
Meanwhile Monique led Ron back to the couch. They never spoke, but he knew that she had seen the entire fight, and yet wasn't a bit angry. At that moment he realized how lucky he was to have a friend like her.
"Hi Monique, Ron," Kim greeted them as they sat down on opposite sides of her. "Where've you been?"
"I went looking for Josh, to see if he wanted to join us," Ron explained, covering himself well. "But I think he's already left for another party."
"That's weird," observed Kim. "He told me he'd be here at least until one in the morning."
"I guess he changed his mind," Monique said, trying to steer Kim away from the subject of Josh. "You guys want anything to drink?"
"A Coke thanks," Ron replied as she got up.
"Me too, thanks Monique," Kim said.
"Be right back," Monique said, leaving Kim and Ron alone.
"So, how's it going?" Kim asked nestling back against the soft leather armrest.
"Pretty good, pretty good," Ron replied nonchalantly, pulling a half eaten hot dog out from under him. He threw it away in disgust once he realized what it was.
"Aw, that is so wrong!" he exclaimed while Kim giggled.
"So, what have you been up to besides sitting on rotting food?" she asked. But before he got a chance to answer, she placed a finger to his lips and said: "Let me guess - downing snackage, playing Fortress with Rufus and sleeping till noon."
"Close," Ron countered. "But it's Space Troopers - the only video game where you get an Uzi in a space station and have to hunt down mutated astronauts with six heads."
"Sounds thrilling," Kim said sardonically. "And that's all you've been doing?"
"Yeah, but it's the vacation. I guess you expect me not to wake up late on vacation? Huh, that's like not cheating on a test - you're just hurting yourself if you don't do it."
"That's a joke, right?" Kim asked, worried.
"Uh, yeah. a joke. sure," Ron replied while trying to act innocent. "So, what've you been up to?"
"Mostly Christmas shopping," she said, smiling as Ron's face brightened.
"Ohhh, Christmas shopping. Anything for me?" he asked excitedly.
"Maybe," she teased.
"What does that mean?"
"That means you don't get any present if you haven't been a good boy this year," Kim replied playfully. Ron began to wonder if she was coming onto him. Her husky voice certainly sounded like it.
"I can't believe you would think I've been anything but!" Ron exclaimed, playing along.
"Prove it."
"We-ll," Ron hesitated, trying to come up with something. "Would helping you with the whole save the world thing count?"
"Probably."
"Score - now where's my present?" he asked, hoping it was something cool, since Kim was usually great at picking out gifts.
"Why don't you come and get it," she invited and from her warm tones, Ron knew she had been hitting on him. Her relaxed posture and her dark, lustful expression was all he needed to realize what Kim wanted - for him to kiss her. He was right - she did always know the perfect gift to get him. In a trance, not caring why she had decided to let him make out with her, he leaned into her tempting mouth. He was close enough to smell the sweet scent of her perfume; with their lips barely an inch apart, when he heard a familiar ring from her purse. Kim groaned in exasperation, but still pulled the Kimmunicator out and switched it on.
"What up Wade?" she greeted him with less enthusiasm than usual.
"Hi Kim. am I disturbing something?" he asked, sensing his call had interrupted a private moment.
"No, it's okay, don't worry," she replied, trying to hide her annoyance at the interruption. "What do you need?"
"Drakken and Shego just robbed a series of banks in New York and now they're waiting at the airport for a flight out. The local law enforcement officials have asked for your help in capturing them," he told her.
"Wade, can't they handle this one," Kim protested. "They have SWAT teams and stuff, don't they?"
"Yeah, but now that Drakken's stranded at the airport because of a snowstorm he's taken hostages," replied Wade. "He's threatening to kill them off one by one if he doesn't get a plane within an hour."
"Alright, we're coming," Kim promised. "Where do we need to go?"
"I've got you a ride at the Middleton Space Center, so do you think your parents could drive you there?"
"Sure thing," she replied. "I guess I'll talk to you later?"
"Call me if you need anything," he told her before signing off.
After grabbing her coat, she said goodbye to Monique - who was still standing in a line for the Cokes - and then she and Ron were out the door, trudging through the snow to her house.