Title: Impossible Love.
Summary: Ginny. Tom. Impossible love doesn't mean you don't love.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Harry Potter related. Nor do I own the song. It is written by Will Jennings. I have personally never even heard it.
A/N: Please read my other oneparter "Simple". It has been rumoured to be one of my best stories.
I love him. It is as simple as that. And I know I shouldn't. I know it is folly. It is not good, innocent love, like I am supposed to be still feeling for Harry. It is dark, consuming. Self-destructive love. Yet I cannot stop this. I am too weak.
He has weakened me. With his words. His promises. He had told me, before Harry stormed in, that he would always watch me. And I hope he does. Because I need him to. I need him to see that I am now bound to him. I know that he grew up to become Lord Voldemort, and I know the struggle my friends go through to destroy him. Yet Tom is not him. Not really. He is different. He has to be. I can not love a demon, can I? My heart would not be that foolish, would it?
I miss him so much that it is unbearable. He does not answer when I write in my diary. I charmed it, using very ancient dark magic, so I should be able to reach him. Yet he does not respond. I beg for him to come and take me away. Take my pain away. He never replies. Not a single word.
I cry. He must have seen tears coming from the diary. And blood. The first time I did not know what I was doing. I was scared. Yet, when the blood had vanished from the diary, when I was sure it had reappeared in his, I felt comforted somehow. I felt relieved. He had to reply now, didn't he?
But he didn't. And my blood kept flowing into that diary until I was as pale as he remembered me. That was when he replied. A few words, writing that he was still watching me. That I was beautiful like this. Cruel words. He knew that I was self-destructing and he told me how beautifully I did it. And yet, no matter how much his words made it worse...they made me better. I could handle it when Tom was writing to me. His words were never sweet. He never promised me anything, but by being there he did. He was there. Just like he promised.
I wrote to him last night. That I couldn't handle it anymore. That I wanted darkness to overtake me. That death would be the gift I wanted most. I begged him again to take me. He just replied in his own cruel way.
Princess,
I enjoy your life too much.
That was all. He enjoyed watching me perish. I cried. I wish there was something I could do to stop this. Maybe I should throw the diary in the fire. I was holding it in my hand, about to fling it into the heat, when new words appeared on the page.
I will watch you in the darkness
Show you love will see you through
When the bad dreams wake you crying
I'll show you all love can do
All love can do
xxx
I will watch by the night
Hold you in my arms
Give you dreams where no one will be
I will watch through the dark
Till the morning comes
xxx
For the lights will take you
Through the night to see
All love, showing us all love can be
xxx
I will guard you with my bright wings
Stay till your heart learns to see
All love can be
At first I snigger. How very much like him, to write me a poem, setting himself like an angel that saves me.
And then I know. I suddenly know all love is. It isn't happy. It doesn't make you stronger. It breaks you down, leaves you alone in the cold when you most want him to be there. It hurts you until you think you can't be hurt anymore. And I know, when that happens, that he will finally be there. To take me. I know he is right. I am not ready yet. But I will be. And when I am, he will come to claim me.
He has to, right?
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