Lavina didn't asked for any of this.

She just wanted to be a pianist. She just wanted to play her piano. She just wanted to be healthy. She just wanted to be normal.

She already accepted that she was sick. Accepted that she will died young. She knew what her future would be like.

But life never going to follow your plans.

OoOoOoO

Lavina remembered the first time she met Eduardo.

She was playing in some rundown bar. Enjoying how the sound of the piano filled the bar. The bar was still quite empty, only a few customers around to hear her playing.

It was after she finished playing that Lavina noticed a man sitting in the middle of the bar. He was clapping loudly; wearing a suit to expensive for a place like this. He offered her roses and a drink. She accepted it.

Lavina never believed that she would lived long enough to find love. But that didn't mean she wanted it.

Lavina fall in love with a married man.

OoOoOo

When Lavina found out she was pregnant; she was overjoyed and scared.

What if her body couldn't handle the baby? She was weak and sick. What if the baby was sick like her? The last thing she wanted was for her baby to experience the same life that she had. Lonely, scared, weak. Avoided Death too many times. Not knowing if today would be her last.

It was a terrifying moment for her.

OoOoOoO

"Can you fucking believe that!" Lavina snarled, her grip on her water tighten. Never on her life she had been this angry. "He's fucking married!"

Shamal was quiet, letting her blow up some steam. The doctor refilled her water and drank from his own Scotch. God she wanted a real drink.

"Did you know what are you going to do next?" Shamal asked slowly.

The calmness on Shamal's voice set an odd sense of dread in her stomach. The seriousness of the situation coming back to her. Oh my God, she's pregnant with Eduardo's child. Eduardo was cheating on her. No.. that's wrong. Eduardo was cheating on his wife. To be with her. Oh God.

Lavina stared at her glass of water, that glass would've been filled with wine if she...

"I don't know.."

Silent ensued between them. Shamal took another swing at his glass. "Did Eduardo already told you about his job?"

Lavina frowned, "Yeah, it's seems like he thought I need to know about his job first before telling me he has a wife."

"Something like this isn't uncommon in the underworld. Blood is important in a Mafia Family. That's why most Mistresses was killed - To cover any tracks of potential bastard's scenario happened."

"Excuse me? WHAT!" Lavina's jaws snapped open.

"But Eduardo truly love you. I'm sure he won't order a hit on you." Shamal quickly assured, "But that just left him another option that I know you won't like."

"What option?" Lavina asked.

She didn't like the change on Shamal's face.

OoOoOo

It was hard to face Eduardo.

To see the man you loved; the one you couldn't stop loving no matter what. She told him that she needed some time alone. She didn't know if they could became something again. Love wasn't enough to forgive.

Eduardo understand at least. Even though he wanted to protest. But Lavina saw the desperation in his eyes. He wanted to make it's right. He stepped away from her life; using letters to convey his mind. Eduardo was never a man of words. He's reminded her of... Winnie the Pooh. Soft, gentle, and warm; Those wasn't a mafia boss traits, those was Eduardo's. That was a man she's fallen for.

Not a liar or a cheater.

They said love was complicated. Lavina didn't realized it was this complicated.

OoOoOo

"It'll be okay, I guess?"

"You guess?" Lavina scowled, "Shamal this is serious."

Shamal sighed, the man looked worn out. "The baby seems okay... for now. I'm more worried with your body."

"Will they survive if I give birth to them?"

"Lavina, your body isn't exactly the healthiest-"

"Will they?"

Shamal groaned loudly, "Yes but I'm not sure if you'll survive this. This will put too much strains on your body. You actually can die!"

Lavina smirked at him, "My dear Shamal, I have been meeting with death so much that we're on first name basis with each other."

"You're gambling with death Lavina. And trust me when I say Lady Luck isn't on your side." Shamal replied, dead serious. It's one of the rare moment when Lavina had seen her doctor/sometimes friend.

"And I'm serious with keeping this baby. You'd know me Shamal, I won't change my mind."

Shamal didn't replied, only silently cursing her. Shamal scowled, "At least I hope she a girl."

She smiled, "I'll pray everyday for this baby to be a boy."

OoOoOoOo

The delivery was painfully long.

Lavina honestly didn't remember much, Shamal was spouting some medical bullshit about how he won't gave her any anesthetic. So she was busy delivering a baby angrily and painfully. She had a faint hope that if she pushed strong enough, the baby will hit Shamal on his face.

Unfortunately, the baby refused to come out from her stomach as quickly as possible and hitting Shamal on the face.

The good news is her baby is a healthy baby boy.

That was the only information she got before she passed out. It took her a week to wake up. The first thing she saw was a sleeping Eduardo. The second thing she saw was unfortunately Shamal. But the third thing she saw was her beautiful baby boy.

She named him Hayato, after her grandfather.

OoOoOo

Lavina was so lucky she didn't died from shock when Eduardo's wife visited her.

Rosetta Marzella was an intimidating woman. Maybe it's because she's the wife of your lover, but Mrs. Marzella really intimidating.

She reminded her of that one mean teacher everybody have. The one that found fault on everybody works.

She was talking and Lavinia tried her best to not have a panic attack. She tried to apologise, but Mrs.Marzella didn't want any apology. Of course she didn't want any apology. You cheated with her husband Lavina! What are you thinking?

Her only meeting with Mrs.Marzella was a disaster. She did everything wrong. The fact she didn't cry or have a heart attack was a big plus. But still.. did she really had to beg her to take care of Hayato. There were no away Mrs.Marzella would care about Eduardo's bastard.

But, it was a cry for help. From a mother to an another mother. Maybe that's why she's feel disappointed when Mrs.Marzella didn't said yes.

So she just laid on her hospital bed. Feeling drained from a few minutes talk and cried.

Because why did her life must became this hard?

OoOoOo

Lavina read the letters Eduardo send her. They always communicated through mail. It's Eduardo idea. She always found it unpractical and romantic. Unfortunately the romantic aspect disappeared when she found out that Eduardo was just paranoid about someone taping their conversation.

His letter always the same. But Lavina never got bored from it. Eduardo never been good with feelings. But in letters, he was the most romantic man in the world.

His letters now consist with progress and picture of Hayato. It's hurt her heart, to know that your child was growing and missed every piece of it. Eduardo send her many pictures and videos, something that sooth her sorrow deeply. Those was the sign of Eduardo involvement with their son life. At least Hayato had a father to depend on.

But sometimes she wondered. When she was alone and the pictures and videos weren't enough. Hayato will never know her as his mother. Mrs.Marzella will be his mother. Did she loved Hayato? Did she treats Hayato well? Did Hayato loved her? Did this arrangement really better for them?

Lavina didn't know the answers. Eduardo never wrote about his wife. The pictures and videos never showed Mrs.Marzella or Eduardo's daughter. He once wrote how close his daughter and Hayato were, but never commented Hayato relationship with Mrs.Marzella. At least she knew Hayato going to have a big sister that love him.

It was frustrating. She wanted to hold her son. Singing lullaby for him. Teaching hik piano.

That night, she dreams of Hayato and her; Together.

oOoOoOo

"It's time for me to go home now." Lavina said, smiling sadly at the pouting Hayato.

"Can you stay for a little while longer?" He asked.

Lavina smiled and scooped him up, "I'll be back on your birthday. If I stay with you longer, I can't finish making your birthday's present."

"Really?" Hayato asked, unsure.

"Really."

"You promise?" He asked again.

"Promise."

OoOoOoOo

"You know I'll never accept your proposal. Why did you keep asking me?" Lavina decided to ask one day. On a rare day she was alone with Eduardo. When their relationship was simple, not full of strains and unsaid feeling like now.

"Because I love you." Eduardo answered without missing a beat.

Lavina looked at him, "And I love you too.." She said, "You selfish man."

"I love you so much. I love our son. That's why I want you to let me go. Be happy with your family. The family that waiting for you while you're here with me. I'd already accepted this situation. I already happy with what I have. You need to remember the peoples whom love and need you. I'm just a woman that you meet at a bar some years ago. I'm not your wife and children."

Eduardo didn't said anything, just tighten his grip on her hands.

OoOoOoO

She knew it would happen soon enough, but not this fast.

Lavina was driving her car to Eduardo's mansion. Today was Hayato's birthday and Lavina just couldn't wait to see her boy. His gift was wrapped neatly, waiting to be opened besides her.

How long had it's been anyway? How was Hayato ? Did he grew taller? Did he still loved the piano with the same passion as her? God she hope so, it's the only thing that connected them with her short visit.

The day was passing so well, she didn't notice at all. A second ago she was driving and now she was losing control on her car.

Black spots began washed over her eyes and Lavina could feel her body moving without her will. Some kind of mini seizure that Shamal once explained to her. It's only happened for a few second, maybe half a minute on a bad day. It's harmless really, just a weird side effects her disease gave her. Except for now.

Her car made a mad dash to the right. But NO she couldn't go to the right because there's a cliff-

She was falling.

And falling.

And falling.

And falling.Hayato.

What about him?

She was falling.

And falling.

Today was his birthday, she couldn't just left him.

And falling.

What about his gift? She wrote him a song. She wanted to hear him played it.

And falling.

Eduardo would take care of him right? He would take care of him.

And fallingAnd fallingAnd falling

I love you so much.

She could saw the ground.

Hayato

Eduardo

I love yo-

Everything thing turned black.