Hitori
I was alone in the park. Wormmon had chosen to stay at home,
napping vigorously after lunch. I saw many grade-school children,
running around with boundless energy. Each one of them seemed to have
no worries about the future. Seeing them play together made me wish
that I could have had a childhood like theirs. I almost envied them.
However, I knew that it couldn't be helped. What was in the past was
past; my childhood could not be like the smoke of the burning history.
A little girl, looking around eight or nine, walked to where I
was sitting. She held in her hand a small flower. She looked at me with
violet, patient eyes. Her dark black hair was the same shade as mine,
and was shoulder-length, full of life. She smoothed the wrinkles in her
grey school-issue skirt. Her soft, sweet voice entered the air.
"Are you Ichijouji Ken-sama?" she enquired.
I nodded slightly.
"When they said you came back, I thought you should have a
present," she chirped. I saw a smile flash and disappear in the same
second. The girl handed the flower to me, and I held it in my hand.
I looked at her. "Are you well?"
She looked at the grass, then turned her face toward mine. "Can
you keep a secret, Ichijouji-sama?" She began to trace lines into the
ground idly.
"Yes... why?"
"I don't feel well at all. I wish I could go away, to a better
place, or to stop living." Dejectedly, she flopped onto the park bench
next to me.
I gazed into her young eyes. "Can you keep a secret as well?"
She nodded.
"When I was younger, I felt like that too."
Her eyes widened. "Maybe you'll understand how I feel!" She
paused for a moment to regain herself. "My big sister was the pride of
my family. They loved her very much. She was pretty and talented and
very popular. But she got involved with the wrong crowd. My momma...
it feels like she wants me to be what my sister never was. But I only
want to be me!" She sighed in frustration.
"I know what that feels like. I... I am not a genius as they
say I am."
A surprised squeak left her mouth. "You're not?"
I shook my head. "My brother Osamu was. My parents loved him
and not me. When he died, I studied hard to be what he was. At the same
time my life fell apart and I almost lost those dear to me." I did not
mention my reputation as the Digimon Kaiser. That was something that
no one should know about. "You have to be yourself. You cannot be what
other people want you to be. Sometimes other people's expectations can
push you too far if they aren't your own expectations."
I saw a teardrop fall from her cheek. "But I don't know who I
am! Can't you tell me?"
My arm instinctly went around her. "I cannot answer that for
you. I am still learning about myself. I do know how to find yourself,
though. The answer is here." I put a finger to her heart. "You must
gain that and look inside it."
"Will I know when I find it?"
"I know you will. It won't be easy or quick though."
Her eyes, filled with a new determination, studied mine. "I'm
still a kid, but I know I can find it, if you, Ichijouji-sama, told me
I can!"
I froze. "But I..."
She smiled at me. "I think you're really wise and really kind.
Do you have to be a genius to be like that?"
"I don't know what to say." I felt overwhelmed by gratitude.
"You don't have to say anything," she whispered. Her small arms
grabbed my waist in a tight hug. "Doumo arigatou gozaimasu."
I held her close. If only someone believed in me as she did...
but there was. One person. Was that all it took to change someone?
Perhaps, perhaps not. For her, it was one person. But for me, it was
many one persons. The two of us were individuals shaped by individuals.
As she thanked me in her manner, it was time to thank others for
showing me the way. One person who I had to thank.
"Hey, Ken! I didn't think to see you here!" Daisuke stopped in
my path as I walked home during the late afternoon.
"I need to talk to you, Daisuke."
"So what's up?"
I bowed politely. "Doumo arigatou gozaimasu."
He just laughed at me. "Aww, Ken, for what? I didn't do
anything, at least not that I remember..."
"You believed in me."
His cheeks became red. "It was nothing, really."
"It means a lot to me. More than you know." I put a hand on his
shoulder.
"I'm your friend, and that what friends do." He smiled at me,
putting a hand on my shoulder.
I held him tightly. I was only one person, but I was important
to other people.
o w a r i
------
For others without their one person.
I was alone in the park. Wormmon had chosen to stay at home,
napping vigorously after lunch. I saw many grade-school children,
running around with boundless energy. Each one of them seemed to have
no worries about the future. Seeing them play together made me wish
that I could have had a childhood like theirs. I almost envied them.
However, I knew that it couldn't be helped. What was in the past was
past; my childhood could not be like the smoke of the burning history.
A little girl, looking around eight or nine, walked to where I
was sitting. She held in her hand a small flower. She looked at me with
violet, patient eyes. Her dark black hair was the same shade as mine,
and was shoulder-length, full of life. She smoothed the wrinkles in her
grey school-issue skirt. Her soft, sweet voice entered the air.
"Are you Ichijouji Ken-sama?" she enquired.
I nodded slightly.
"When they said you came back, I thought you should have a
present," she chirped. I saw a smile flash and disappear in the same
second. The girl handed the flower to me, and I held it in my hand.
I looked at her. "Are you well?"
She looked at the grass, then turned her face toward mine. "Can
you keep a secret, Ichijouji-sama?" She began to trace lines into the
ground idly.
"Yes... why?"
"I don't feel well at all. I wish I could go away, to a better
place, or to stop living." Dejectedly, she flopped onto the park bench
next to me.
I gazed into her young eyes. "Can you keep a secret as well?"
She nodded.
"When I was younger, I felt like that too."
Her eyes widened. "Maybe you'll understand how I feel!" She
paused for a moment to regain herself. "My big sister was the pride of
my family. They loved her very much. She was pretty and talented and
very popular. But she got involved with the wrong crowd. My momma...
it feels like she wants me to be what my sister never was. But I only
want to be me!" She sighed in frustration.
"I know what that feels like. I... I am not a genius as they
say I am."
A surprised squeak left her mouth. "You're not?"
I shook my head. "My brother Osamu was. My parents loved him
and not me. When he died, I studied hard to be what he was. At the same
time my life fell apart and I almost lost those dear to me." I did not
mention my reputation as the Digimon Kaiser. That was something that
no one should know about. "You have to be yourself. You cannot be what
other people want you to be. Sometimes other people's expectations can
push you too far if they aren't your own expectations."
I saw a teardrop fall from her cheek. "But I don't know who I
am! Can't you tell me?"
My arm instinctly went around her. "I cannot answer that for
you. I am still learning about myself. I do know how to find yourself,
though. The answer is here." I put a finger to her heart. "You must
gain that and look inside it."
"Will I know when I find it?"
"I know you will. It won't be easy or quick though."
Her eyes, filled with a new determination, studied mine. "I'm
still a kid, but I know I can find it, if you, Ichijouji-sama, told me
I can!"
I froze. "But I..."
She smiled at me. "I think you're really wise and really kind.
Do you have to be a genius to be like that?"
"I don't know what to say." I felt overwhelmed by gratitude.
"You don't have to say anything," she whispered. Her small arms
grabbed my waist in a tight hug. "Doumo arigatou gozaimasu."
I held her close. If only someone believed in me as she did...
but there was. One person. Was that all it took to change someone?
Perhaps, perhaps not. For her, it was one person. But for me, it was
many one persons. The two of us were individuals shaped by individuals.
As she thanked me in her manner, it was time to thank others for
showing me the way. One person who I had to thank.
"Hey, Ken! I didn't think to see you here!" Daisuke stopped in
my path as I walked home during the late afternoon.
"I need to talk to you, Daisuke."
"So what's up?"
I bowed politely. "Doumo arigatou gozaimasu."
He just laughed at me. "Aww, Ken, for what? I didn't do
anything, at least not that I remember..."
"You believed in me."
His cheeks became red. "It was nothing, really."
"It means a lot to me. More than you know." I put a hand on his
shoulder.
"I'm your friend, and that what friends do." He smiled at me,
putting a hand on my shoulder.
I held him tightly. I was only one person, but I was important
to other people.
o w a r i
------
For others without their one person.