'To Tame a Wildcat'
Hey, babies. Kyo here. Fourth fanfic, this time on my otherfave anime - Azumanga Daioh. This is a small oneshot of my fave character Tomo Takino. Sure people see her as a 'WILDCAT' but if she's anything like me, she smiles only to hide her true pain. No one gives her credit, nor do they seem to care about her existance.
That, and I am in a really bad mood as of typing this, so decided to do a first person angst story. Some hints of shoujo-ai, so if you hate that kind of thing, too bad. Some mild language.
Anyways, this is a new way of writing for me, which is different from my usual 'describing-styled writing.' So yeah.
Everything in italics actions and thoughts.
Remember to R&R. Comments and Constructive criticism only.Flame and die. Simple as that, y'know?
Enjoy, yo.
- Luminous Kyo
QUICK FIX - Edited out most the bolds and italics (though actions are still in italics) to be more easily readable.
I do not own Azumanga Daioh; But the people at ADV Films and Kiyohiko Azuma sure does. I am in no way affiliated. If I owned it, I'd turn it into some 'Angst Drama' series. 'AngstManga Daioh' I'd call it.
A quiet Saturday evening was that at this household. What made it even quieter was that the people who owned the house were out for the weekend. This was the perfect opportunity for me, the prodigal daughter of the homeowners, to think about things. I was silently sitting on my bed. However, not with my usual wildcat smirk… for once, I looked like a zombie and just stared at the floor, finally taking time to think about how my life has been going.
Heh, to think, these should be the best years of my life, y'know? Spending time with my closest friends? Heh, if I had any… my 'friends' only stay with me because they take pity on my sad existence… all I am is trouble, a real freaking nuisance, Trouble-some Wildcat Tomo Takino… they think I'm some 'crazy kid' who had too much sugar in her systems and now concern for anyone else but myself… if only they knew the real me…
The real me… the one who stares at her own mirror on lonely nights, questioning why I do the things I do, just what the hell is wrong with me. The real me… the one who always wakes up in the morning and the first thing she thinks is why I'm even awake. The real me… the one who can't control herself whenever her friends to pipe down and to actually care about another's opinion for a damn change. The real me… who just recently put a knife to her throat, wanting to end it all and not even regret a damn thing – only stopping because she's too chicken-shit to actually apply pressure to her own trachea and just throws the knife on the floor. Sure, I slit my wrists, big deal. But apparently, I'm too afraid of death, yet I beg for it. Just the sweet release of death, y'know? Heh, who'd give a damn if poor little Tomo died tonight? Not Kagura; she'd laugh and just comment on how much of a coward I was at life, unlike her. Not Chiyo; damn little smarty thinks she's better than everyone…but she works hard unlike me. Not Sakaki; thinks she's cooler than everyone… yet, she doesn't piss people off like I do… Not Osaka; I personally think she's too dumb to understand such feelings of depression, yet she might be smarter than me… definitely NOT YOMI; she'd frickin' go around and be like 'Tomo sucks' this, and 'Tomo fails' that. But she's only looking out for my best interest; she always had since elementary school… and the way I pay her back I just bugging her and getting her way all the time.
: Puts the knife to her neck again, only to slowly put back down on the floor:
No, not yet. Whatever lousy goal I have has yet to be accomplished. Like joining Interpol. Shyeah, fat chance in hell. I'm too lazy to do work, so how the hell am I supposed to do something like that? That's for all the serious people out there… I could fall in love, but no boy would want to be with a pathetic wildcat has-been such as myself… anyways, I wouldn't be interested anyways... I've always kinda had a thing for Yomi anyways…I find her attractive, smart, just… she cares about people, especially when they don't care for themselves… one of my best friends… at least, she WOULD be if I didn't try to screw things up with her yesterday. Yes, leave it to Tomo to pick a bad time to tell her things, like in homeroom just how I feel about her. Leave it to me to tell her how I can't go a night without thinking about her for every single thing she does for me. Leave it to me to hold her hand and ask her if she would love to make me happy for the rest of my life. Leave it to me to make an ass out of myself when she tried to tell me to chill about it. Leave it to me to not take 'NO' for an answer. Next thing I knew, everything felt my rage, and I think even Yukari got a little afraid. I even told Yomi I would kill myself if I cannot live if she refused to be my soul mate…
: Quickly picks the knife up again and puts it to her neck again, this time applying a little bit more pressure. Trembling, she starts letting out tears of depression for yesterday and fear of dying, even a small whimper. This time she quickly lashes a medium cut on her right arm and throws the knife into a wall, turning around and punching the wall rapidly and grunting as she did so:
GOD-DAMMIT! Nothing good ever happens to me, and nothing good ever happens to anyone else when I'm around… I'm only good for two things – no good, and good for nothing. People don't realize how hard it is to actually be me… then again, people never ask how I'm doing… well, only Chiyo-chan, and what do I do? I pick on the brat, call her names, and just act like she's nothing just because she's the youngest… I'm sorry, Chiyo-chan. I'm such a bitch and I just really hope you'll put your awesome potential to good use… Yomi, I'm sorry we don't share the same mutual feelings for each other, but know this – I've seen you more than a friend, and I just want to say thank you… for always keeping me in line. In a way, you were my common sense.Sakaki and Osaka I really don't think they have anything against me, nor would they care for my company. And Kagura… I guess she's the only other person I have anything in common with. She's me with a life. People respect her and worship her. Next to Yomi, she's the only other person who'd tolerate me.
It's not easy holding that same manic-attitude and insane smile I always do. I'm just covering up for the fact that I'm going through a lot right now and don't want to trouble anyone with my issues. Who'd even care anyways?
: She then remembers something Kagura told her yesterday after that whole Yomi incident – 'It took a lot of guts and emotions for you to do what you just did. I'll admit, you could've done a better job handling the consequences, but that's you in a damn nutshell. But I didn't think you were…THAT way with… your orientation… I find this rather interesting. Anyways, if you have anything to talk about, PERSONAL or otherwise, feel free to call me up. Someone needs to look out for you Tomo.' She then looks at her phone again:
…Kagura. Hmph. Pity, pure pity. And yet… maybe it's time I grew up a little…
: She looks at the phone once more. Picking it up, she dials Kagura's number:
Hey, Kagura? It's me, Tomo. I'm… well, honestly I'm shit right now, and I… kinda have a few mixed feelings about someone I just recently got interested in… do you have a minute?
Bam. There ya go. I have a thing for characters attempting suicide and going through emotions, especially the insane characters. Only true angst triggers insanity. Take my word for it. R&R Folks. - Kyo