Lapis Lazuli returns to Earth, nearly three centuries after 'Can't Go Back.' Much has changed on the planet her destiny seems tied to, and Lapis has found herself needing to adjust. Again. Only this time, she only has Pearl.
Warning: Major Character Death: Steven and every other human or part human character from the series.
Lapis
Endless void, star systems she doesn't recognize, doesn't care to recognize, whipping right past her. Each flap of her water wings carries enough compressed force to propel her to speeds just enough to reach FTL. The next galaxy is just within her reach, the last galaxy showing signs of Homeworld colonization. In the cold of space, she grimaces, her body having adjusted to the climate of Earth for far too long. But she's a gem; her bodily construct was designed to explore the stars. So she adjusts again, yet she still feels cold all the same.
'Just a little bit farther.' She tells herself. 'Just a little bit farther.'
oOoOoOo
Lapis
It's only when she's resting (an unnecessary process for her physical form,that just happened to 'feel' refreshing,) on some backwater planet with no Potential, does she realize she left the barn on the Earth's moon.
Well, it's not like any of it helped to entertain her during her brief return to the Earth's orbit.
oOoOoOo
Lapis
'Farther,' she tells herself. She's crossed into the edge of the fifth galaxy by now, and she's relieved that she's reached the limits of Homeworld's expansionism until she remembers that the last time she saw a map of Homeworld's interstellar territories was Era I. Before the mirror. Before everything.
'Farther.' She keeps telling herself.
'And farther.'
'Farther.'
'And farther.'
oOoOo
Lapis
Lapis doesn't bother keeping track of how long she's been going. Not even considering to do so until she's convinced herself that the Diamonds won't be right behind her if she turns around. Her core was beginning to throb with a soreness; she was growing tired, despite her physical form's inability to feel exhaustion, the void of space wearing away at her.
A passing thought grows into a subject of speculation; did she ever feel anything before Earth? It's hard to discern whether she didn't feel anything before Earth, or if she had just flat out forgotten life before the mirror.
She remembers holding a modest lot back on Homeworld, bestowed upon her by Blue Diamond for terraforming some disaster colony she couldn't remember the name of. Blue Diamond had speculated on perhaps a Pearl of her own in the near distant future, but Lapis's next excursion would be on Earth.
Though it was only a modest lot, she remembers the galas and balls hosted on the Diamonds' orders (who would never themselves attend) that she would always find herself at with her fellow Lapis Lazuli, where they would find themselves lavished with gifts and parties thrown in their honor. It was only fitting, since Lapis Lazuli were the gems that wielded the power to control entire worlds.
Physically, Lapis Lazuli were never meant to feel anything, much like a Pearl, or a Sapphite. Despite their incredible potential, they weren't made for fighting, or anything physical in that regard. Amethyst taught her how to shapeshift sensory receptors back on Earth, having taught Peridot before. A terraformer had no need for awareness of her immediate environment in contrast to say, an Quartz warrior.
But even though she had been a loyal gem to the Diamonds before Earth, it hadn't been too terribly difficult for Lapis to adjust to her new home. She had never particularly questioned the motives of her Matriarchs before Earth, never been taught to think. She was always satisfied with whatever attention and gifts her Matriarchs graced her with, and nothing more.
"It was all social engineering," She remembers Peridot musing with her, as they talked over season 5 of Camp Pining Hearts, what Peridot had declared to be 'trash.' They were cuddled up against each other underneath a blanket, with nary but the light of the television to make out their forms with.
Peridot had been warm.
The mirror taught her to think. It was all she could do when she was trapped inside a mirror, with nothing to do but scream at some sad parody of what she expected the terrifying, renegade Pearl to turn out to be.
'And look where thinking's led you.' She muses to herself. Blindly fleeing the reaches of charted space, into the next galaxy beyond.
Homeworld used to make sense. It was the only reason why so many gems would even bother following the Diamonds to the edges of the galaxy and beyond; introduce the idea of new worlds where they might be free, and suddenly, following the Diamonds wouldn't be the obvious decision it had always been for so many for so long.
It wasn't Homeworld that had stopped making sense when she had returned. The same basic foundations of society under the Diamonds were all the same, millennia later.
Her lot was bulldozed to make way for some other pompous gem, her sister Lazuli unreachable one way or another.
She doesn't remember any of their facets, or her own for that matter, and she's certain they don't remember her either.
But she remembers Earth. And Steven. And Peridot.
It was funny, really. The last thing she wanted to do back on Earth was think about everything she was, and now that she's lost herself in the void of space, all she can do is think, without anything else to think about.
One Earth cycle.
Two Earth cycles.
Three Earth cycles.
Four Earth cycles.
oOoOo
Lapis
She's finally discovered a planet with Potential, the form of energy required for the spark of life.
Very early forms of life, it turns out. Her only company on this dismal gas giant she'd discovered were amoebas.
She briefly considers waiting for an evolution, before her patience frays again. Another habit that's stuck to her from her time on Earth.
oOoOo
Lapis
It took twenty-four Earth cycles for her to detest the Earth's moon.
It took a considerably longer time for her to detest space.
oOoOoOo
Lapis
Slackening her back against the leaf hammock she's found herself taking taking shelter from the acid rain in, she's found herself taking refuge on a planet with potential, only this time, a little bit further down along the evolutionary chain, as Peridot used to call it.
She frowns, before her attention rejoins the natural fauna of her current habitat, something she used to do with-
Clods, she was-
DAMN IT!
An exhausted groan escapes her lips, a frustration carried since her departure from the Milky Way. The twin pulsars radiate in the sky and the system beyond, painting the atmosphere with an almost neon-like sky blue. The weather on this planet was roiling; within hours, she'd been thrown into a thunderstorm, a dust storm, and now an acid rain storm, each bringing with it a different skyscape. Greys, whites, and azures; it was almost Earth, without the intelligent life.
As annoying as some of the humans on Earth were, at least she could talk to them. Here, she was restricted to staring at multi-colored arthropods and winged hominids or whatever Peridot had called them. Simple life, yes, but in some sense, it was beautiful, an asthetic perspective she had learned during her time on-
Stars, she was bad at this. She forces her attention to return to the fauna once more.
She wonders how long it would take before they would evolve into something more intelligent.
She wonders how long it would take until Homeworld's reach found it's way here.
oOoOoOo
Lapis
Something's caught her eye when surveying the surface of some overgrown flora world; like Earth, it hosts a diversity of environments limited only by the miniscule size of the rock; approximately only half of what Earth was.
Within in the depths of the temperate rainforest inhabited only by insects and megaflora; lied a glimmer that had caught her eye. She allows herself to descend underneath the canopy; she allows herself the dream of finding something of interest in this miserable galaxy she's passed into.
Perhaps a fire, indicating signs of organic life. Maybe a crystalline formation, where she might be able to find another gem. Her speculation runes wild, though she doesn't know what she'd do upon coming face to face with the anomaly; the point is, she'd have something to do.
But awaiting her was a cavern, empty and devoid of anything of interest.
The cavern seems to taunt her.
"Why did you leave?"
For the first time since leaving the Milky Way, Lapis began to cry.
oOoOoOo
Pearl
Two-hundred and ninety-five years after the Treaty had been signed between Homeworld and the Crystal Gems, Pearl took notice of a blue figure in the sky, descending to Earth in the general direction of the Temple. Towards her.
It became unmistakable who it was.
"Lapis?"
The forgotten blue gem's descent towards the Earth is without incident, though Pearl's gaze remains frozen to her form. Pearl, as with all gems, was never good at change, much less explaining it, but by the time Lapis's form had closed the distance, she could only bemoan that she would be the one to receive her.
Making an entrance as she always did, though not from any effort from Lapis's part (her carried history and scars doing all the work for her,) the blue gem kicks up a small cloud of sand upon arrival, one which Pearl wills away.
Lapis wears a scowl Pearl had grown all too familiar with whenever they had the off-chance of accidentally being in the same area with each other back then.
"Oh. You." Lapis shifts uncomfortably, looking around the temple, likely for… Steven. And Peridot.
Pearl uselessly swallows. "You're back."
"Where's Steven? Where is everyone?" Both to the point, and avoiding the subject.
An expected question, but one Pearl wished hadn't been coming.
"Lapis…"
"Where's Peridot?" Lapis stares at her, wanting Pearl to just get to the damn point already.
Lapis freezes in terror. "Did Homeworld-"
Pearl shakes her head, gesturing with her fingers for Lapis to follow. She does, and lets Pearl lead her to the alcove the temple, with the lighthouse atop still standing, unchanged, like the skyline of Beach City.
It isn't until they reach the very edge, does Lapis's impatience shatter.
Waiting for her atop the temple, were three small headstones.
oOoOoOo
Lapis
Steven's home hadn't changed for the most part, save for the right section being bizarrely torn up and remodeled. Also catching her attention were the pictures of Steven dotting the walls; each capturing a moment from his life, in a different physical form.
Right. He had grown older. He had changed. Humans did that. "How long was I gone?" Lapis asks, taking her seat at one of the couches.
"Two-hundred and ninety-five years." Pearl answers, mechanically making her way towards the kitchen. There's not much energy in her movements, Pearl must be going through the same motions whenever she's forced to receive visitors.
One picture catches Lapis's eye in particular; that of Steven, withered and aged, though still as bright and cheery as she remembered him. Surrounding him, were the Crystal Gems; Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, and a motley of some other gems and humans Lapis couldn't recognize.
And Jasper.
"How long is the average human's lifespan?" Lapis asks a busy Pearl, who's preparing… something in the kitchen for the two of them. Her listening hones in, and she detects a kettle. Pearl's boiling water. Tea, probably.
"When Steven was alive? Seventy-two years. Now, it's almost doubled, thanks to gem technology." Pearl brings out a set of porcelain, plating two delicate cups for the occasion.
"I'm surprised you like drinking tea." Lapis's mouth is faster than her self-preservation instinct. "I thought you didn't like putting anything in your body."
Pearl's retort is quick, and as careless as Lapis's mouth. "I'm surprised you remembered anything about me, given-" Pearl stops herself, instead opting to walk back into the kitchen, like a chicken running to her flock for protection. Lapis is only grateful her company proves to be as socially inept as her. The house is a delicate calm, so very much unlike how she remembers it. It wouldn't surprise her if it's been like this for the past century or so Pearl's been here. Lapis looks to the outside, only to catch that the weather's changed again, now a grey downpour.
"So nobody's here anymore?" Lapis asks her, trying to defuse the tension. Again, her mind catches the unintended slight. "Except you?"
Pearl comes out, teapot in hand, either choosing to ignore Lapis, or having it go completely over her nose.
"Garnet still visits every decade or so." Pearl pours Lapis a serving of tea, handling the teapot with care; her movements Lapis observes, are as mechanical as ever. "The last I'd heard from her, she'd invited me to join her in some campaign against some Homeworld stragglers in the Expansion Quadrant."
Lapis accepts the tea with care. She'd forgotten about the… aesthetic qualities of a hot cup of tea Steven had taught her alongside Peridot. It was strange that tea had such an aesthetic, given it was just some polluted water that happened to taste good. "Stragglers?"
Pearl pours her own serving, though refusing to bring her cup to her lips for now. Instead, she opts to produce a photo she had brought from the kitchen; Steven, at a younger age than the previous photo. His form was bulkier, his features more buffed out, and shaking hands with him was… Yellow Diamond.
"He actually did it." Lapis sips at her tea, the once unbelievable having now turned impotent in her absence.
"Steven always had a way with people." Pearl sighs, stirring at her tea. "It was… shortly, after you left."
Lapis resists the urge to laugh, allowing for Pearl to carry on. "Blue and Yellow Diamond signed The Treaty with us, which formally ended hostilities between Homeworld and the Crystal Gems." Pearl sullens, before continuing. "White Diamond never approved."
"The Diamonds were divided politically, and Homeworld never had a political system for voicing internal dissent. The Diamonds quickly divided amongst themselves, and years later, White Diamond excommunicated Blue and Yellow Diamond from the Authority."
"So it was a civil war." Lapis surmises, to which Pearl confirms motionlessly.
She had come to Earth all this way to face her greatest fear, only for the front door to be kicked down, revealing it to be all some big joke.
Except noone was there to laugh at her, save for herself.
"It was a coup. Billions of gems under Blue and Yellow Diamond's allegiance found themselves… deeply uncomfortable at this sudden change of policy. White Diamond tore the treaty up, and ordered a second decimation of Earth, with billions of gems formerly sworn to Blue and Yellow Diamond defecting to her rule. In the chaos, Yellow Diamond was shattered, and White Diamond disappeared to parts unknown."
Yellow Diamond, once the mighty enforcer of The Great Diamond Authority, the one who she had feared would shatter her personally if she were to ever be captured, had switched sides and was now a pile of shards spaced out into a black hole somewhere. White Diamond, founder of the empire, the most feared of them all, now in exile.
"On Earth, we would finally reveal ourselves to the humans, Steven, Connie, and surprisingly Amethyst taking lead. It took time, but as the first of White Diamond's legions began to land on-planet, the humans began to put their inter-species quarreling aside. It took decades, and help from Blue and Yellow Diamond themselves, but humanity managed to prevail."
Lapis furrows at Pearl in disbelief. "The humans? Defeated Homeworld?"
Pearl sighs, a weary smile on her lips. "The civil war meant Homeworld couldn't bring it's full attention on us. That, and several other miracles, really." Pearl frowns. "You saw it didn't you? How much Earth has changed since then?"
Lapis nods, having taken notice of the sudden appearance of traffic in the Sol system, the incredibly rapid expansion of Earth's 'night lights,' agglomerations of urban areas, once isolated, connected by lines of settlement, now having evolved into a singular mass, covering the land surface whole.
"Did Earth always have rings?" Lapis finishes her tea, motioning at Pearl for more, who acquiesces, her tea still untouched.
"They're shipyards. The second century you were gone, they spent mastering their own solar system, and other nearby stars while the civil war still consumed Homeworld, it's ability to project power shrinking further and further. This century, they've spent building an empire of their own, amongst the stars. Remarkable isn't it? I hadn't predicted that humans would be able to adapt to the revelation of Homeworld so quickly, but Earth carries with it so many surprises, even now I suppose."
"Garnet's taken a leadership role amongst the Earth expeditionary forces, helping to clear out Homeworld diehards and straggler remnants, alongside Bismuth." Pearl hesitates before continuing, opting to finally sip at her now cold tea before scowling in dissatisfaction. "Jasper disappeared."
But Lapis fails to have any reaction. Maybe it was a part of Jasper that had stayed inside of her speaking, but the thought of shattering Jasper was a fantasy she had found herself toying with on occasion, even during her brief stay on Earth. That if Jasper was ever relieved from her captivity, that she'd shatter her without a second thought.
"You can't lie to me. I've seen what you're capable of. I thought I was a brute, but you... you're a monster."
Now she was in space. Without her.
"What about Jasper?" Lapis spits out.
Pearl shifts defensively, though her gaze still manages to avoid Lapis, who's boring into her with her own gaze now. "Steven helped her." Pearl's aware enough to know that Lapis doesn't want details on her. "After the treaty, Jasper said that she needed to find her own path, and so she did. She's in unknown space now, though she left behind a one-way beacon for us to contact her if we ever needed her help." Pearl stifles a laugh, "Maybe she's with Hessonite now."
"What about Peridot?" Lapis pops the unanswered bubble that's been hanging over the conversation since it's inception. Pearl stirs at her unsatisfying tea, before adding another useless sugar cube. "Pearl, I need to know."
The pale gem picks at her tea, having only brought the porcelain to her lips once or twice. Lapis knows Pearl's stalling out of reluctance; the torrent of rain waiting for her outside seems to invite her. A proposition that looks all the more attractive with each passing second.
Pearl's eyes flicker at Lapis's own. It's the first time, ever, that Pearl's opted to look in her general direction.
"She left Earth for one of the colonies. With Amethyst. They're in a relationship now."
oOoOo
Lapis
A month at the temple goes by, without change or anything of note in their daily routines, Pearl working maintenance for a house that looks ripped straight from one of the catalog magazines Lapis used to read, with Lapis working out the same internal battles in her mind over and over again.
She hasn't bothered leaving the premises of the Temple yet; she's not yet willing to adjust to Earth a second time, as riveting of a conversation starter Pearl proves to be.
The idea of leaving for the stars again is briefly played with once or twice, only to be quickly shot down. She'd spent the last three centuries wandering from star to star; it wasn't as if another century would let her find what she was looking for, whatever it was.
So she's settled for staying on Earth for now, the planet her destiny or whatever tied the universe together always ended up dragging her back to, one way or another.
Pearl leaves out food for her every now and then, Lapis having raided the fridge only to surprisingly discover fresh food still in there; she muses it's for any surprise human guests, but can't picture the sight of Pearl inviting humans over.
Watching Pearl go about her daily routine becomes tiring though; in a rehash of what they used to be, meaning they've returned to not talking on a daily basis, except when one of them gets in the other's way; which is often.
"Lapis, please move. I need to vacuum Steven's loft." Pearl orders, vaccum cleaner in hand.
Lapis is busy flipping through all the movies available on the holo-set, which is another way of saying she's staying because she doesn't feel like moving. "Why clean? Noone has to live here anymore."
"Dust will collect."
"I say let it; maybe one of the dust bunnies can develop sentience, so there's something to converse with."
Lapis is absolutely terrible and she knows it, but watching Pearl try to recompose her image is far more entertaining than watching her act go unimpeded, especially given that she knows how utterly messed up Pearl's compartments are.
It's been three centuries, but it wouldn't surprise her if Pearl was still like that; Gems are slow after all, and the most mileage she ever got out of her captivity inside Pearl's gem was watching Surface Pearl cry about Rose for ten months straight.
"I'm out." Lapis announces to a Pearl, whose nose is firmly invested in her e-text on engineering.
"You're leaving?" Pearl asks after her, hint of worry in her throat.
Lapis shrugs. "Only for a short around. I just need some time to think. You thought I was going to leave Earth again, weren't you?"
Pearl, caught in the act, wordlessly answers her with just the flustered expression on her face.
Unfortunately for the both of them, it's Lapis that Pearl's dealing with. "You'd like that wouldn't you. It'd be like putting me away, so you didn't have to deal with me." It takes Lapis a few too many seconds for her to register what just left her mouth, though given her, it's a miracle it even registered at all. "Pearl, wait-"
Pearl irritably brushes her off. "It's fine Lapis. Take your flight."
"Pearl, I'm sorry,"
Pearl looks a bit stunned that Lapis is offering to apologize in the first place, but it's not enough to soften the blow. "Lapis, it's not necessary. Please."
"Just go."
oOoOo
Lapis
Beach City proves to be mostly deserted; populated only by tourists who gawk at her, and sentry-bots that try to capture her for processing; her visit ends with around three of them decomissioned into the ocean.
Pearl explains that the city's been turned into a historical monument; resulting in the town's preservation, and exorbitant housing prices.
"I'm sorry for not warning you about the military presence." Pearl apologizes, having brushed yesterday's incident under the rug, as expected of Pearl. "If you'd come with me, I can have you processed-
"I'm sorry for being a little shit." Lapis wants to say, but doesn't have the metaphorical guts to say it.
The rest goes over her head; and Pearl confirms she hasn't learned in over three-hundred years how to detect when people just aren't listening.
"What are you making?" Lapis ignores her, referring to the plethora of food ready for preparation on the kitchen table. A twitch of irritation pops up from Pearl. For a gem that regularly disparaged the entire process of feeding, the pale gem sure had a lot of food out on the kitchen counter, with waffle mix, popcorn bulk, whipping cream, strawberries, and maple syrup on hand.
It takes Pearl a moment to respond. "I suppose we all have our exceptions." It's clear she's struggling to say this with a straight face.
Lapis scrutinizes the food, unsure whether Pearl is about to have guests over, or perhaps is expecting Amethyst. Perhaps it's a special occasion, so she inspects the calendar app on the fridge screen, carefully marked-
Oh.
Oh.
It was Steven's birthday.
"You… want me to help?" Lapis quietly voices, indicating her grasping of the situation at hand.
Pearl, as always, is unreadable; she affirms Lapis it's okay, but Lapis isn't sure whether it's to kick Lapis out, or if she's just a better chef solo. Whatever it is, it doesn't stop Lapis from following her when Pearl finishes making the food, and heads outdoors, up towards the lighthouse.
For what it's worth, Pearl doesn't seem to mind Lapis's presence.
"Is this a dish Steven made?" Lapis asks about the breakfast platter.
"Yes. Together Breakfast, to be exact." Pearl lets herself smile. "Oh! Did you want me to make you a serving?"
"No." She doesn't feel like delaying Pearl now, after yesterday. "Thank you." She adds.
The two continue with their silent trek onwards to the top of the hill; Lapis isn't sure her reason for following.
Maybe it's for Steven, but she feels guilty for doing that; it's her fault she feels like this, and it feels unfair to place another one of her problems on a child she never got to see mature and is now in a hole in the ground, as humans liked to do.
Maybe it's to see Pearl eat these waffles. A sight to see nonetheless, but her game with Pearl is becoming tiring; she's drilling through the cracks, but she's certain all she'll see when she's finished with her is a mirror.
The two reach the cliff's edge; the three headstones still there, and Lapis has to wonder just what she was expecting to see, both now and the first time she was here.
Pearl sets down a picnic blanket from her gem; it takes a moment for Lapis to realize she's allowed to sit down with her.
The two sit in silence for some time, leaving Lapis to wonder whether this was a mistake or not and maybe she should just summon her wings and make for Empire City or maybe another star system. She wills herself to stay and ask Pearl whether it's okay for her to be here at least, until she catches the sight of a very pale Pearl, uncertain of what's before her.
"Pearl, are you… having trouble with those waffles?"
"Absolutely not!" Pearl incredulously objects, staring at the Together Breakfast as if she was trying to form some sort of attack plan for dealing with the breakfast treat. "It's just taking me time to properly form a human digestive system, that's all!"
"Pearl, you don't need a human digestive system. You just need to turn the food into mush then expel it from your-"
Two fingers enter Pearl's ears, her head shaking in denial. "Lapis, I can perfectly do without this disgusting explanation!" Pearl protests, still glaring intently at the Together Breakfast as if it were some foreign entity to be dissected. Brushing a wary finger at the whipped cream, she tepidly brings it towards her blue tongue, before warily licking, and shuddering in clear revulsion.
Lapis fails to conceal her amusement. "Pearl, do you need for me to take this off your hands?"
"Absolutely not! I don't need any help." Pearl puffs predictably.
"Pearl, you're being stubborn-"
"It's you, who's being stubborn!"
"If you'd just listen to me-"
"I can take care of this myself, thank you very much!" Pearl puffs like a hen protecting her nest, and crosses her arms, setting the Together Breakfast behind her.
Lapis realizes what they're doing, and against it all she bursts into incredulous laughter on Pearl's expense. Pearl flusters, a defensive blush elicited from her. She predictably scowls, crossing her arms and turning her back on Lapis, until her defenses eventually break down, and the laugh becomes infectious.
"We're ridiculous." Pearl admits, before taking a moment to recompose herself.
The laughter tapers off uncomfortably, and Lapis isn't exactly sure how to follow.
Maybe it was the fact that this is the most mileage she's ever gotten out of Pearl, who's always kept to routine whenever she didn't know what to do; In Lapis's case, to pretend like she didn't exist.
Or maybe it was all those decades of isolation on Lapis's part, and she's just happy to have at least someone to talk to after three centuries of space and void. Maybe it's the same for Pearl; she hasn't asked how long Pearl's been all by herself at the temple yet. Or why.
"I was so terrified of the Diamonds coming to Earth." She finds herself admitting. Lapis fails to meet Pearl's gaze as answering the question Pearl couldn't ask. "I didn't want them to destroy my new home, but in the end, I did it myself. I don't know how long, how many galaxies I passed by before I felt so lonely."
Lapis looks up at Pearl, who's listening with all sincere intent. She briefly wonders whether Pearl was just waiting for a breakthrough with her, like another one of Steven's 'projects,' but she's probably overthinking it. Probably.
"Why are you here?" Lapis asks Pearl as the latter recomposes herself. It takes Lapis a moment to correct herself so that Pearl doesn't take it as a sign to leave. "I mean, why aren't you with the other Crystal Gems? In space?"
For a second, she wonders whether she's being paranoid; the answer is probably, on her part. Maybe Garnet foresaw her return, and ordered Pearl to attend to her, maybe it was bad luck on their part Pearl had to be the one to see Lapis's return. Lapis stares into the horizon to keep avoiding her gaze. "I… supposed I needed a break from it all."
Pearl joins her in staring off into the horizon, into the skyline the direction of what Lapis remembers to be Empire City in the distance. "Let humanity and the others take charge for a couple of centuries or so. I don't know where Garnet gets her energy-" Pearl frowns, before shaking her head. "Forget that thought."
Pearl points at the Empire City skyline. "All of that wasn't visible two centuries ago. Humanity's moved so fast in the past three centuries since we had Steven, that I figured it'd be no harm to take a breather for a couple of decades or so."
Lapis frowns at the silhouette, it's image flickering, like a sort of parody of what she once remembered. "Everything's changed again."
"Yes, it has." Pearl doesn't get it. "It's remarkable, isn't it?"
Lapis looks up to the stars, toward the heavens above. She's back in familiar galaxies again, but she realizes she can't make out Homeworld's star. "You saw it, didn't you? Homeworld?"
"Yes. Before the war, at least. It was shocking at first, but-" Pearl falters, probably realizing who she's talking to.
"Was it really three centuries? Only three-hundred years?"
Pearl looks up from her train of thought, catching the sight of Lapis fixated on Homeworld's star. "Two-hundred-ninety three, to be exact."
Lapis tries to stop, she really does. "Why did I leave?"
Pearl shifts closer to her. "Lapis…"
"It was like the mirror again, only I put myself in there." It's all repeating.
Two arms suddenly snake their way around Lapis, who's slow to realize she's being encompassed in the warmth of a hug, awkward as it is. Who's been slow enough to realize she's been crying this entire time.
"Don't say that."
"It's true isn't it? I don't understand why you're still listening to me." Lapis stands, breaking the embrace. "I stole Earth's ocean, I nearly killed Steven and his friends, I tried to shatter the three of you! I tricked Jasper into fusing with me so I could take everything out on her, I threw Peridot away like she didn't even matter!" She glares at Pearl. "Go ahead. Tell me I'm wrong and I didn't deserve all of this to happen to me."
Pearl refuses to break from Lapis's gaze, instead opting for a story of her own. "Before we freed you from Malachite, we were looking for Peridot, and Garnet thought she was repairing the communications hub to contact Homeworld; it turned out to be me. I was tricking Garnet into fusing with me so I could experience what it was like to be her."
"That's pretty shitty." Lapis isn't sure whether which one of them that's meant for, but she's pretty sure Pearl can't read into it.
"It was. I was found out, and it upset Garnet to the point where she couldn't talk to me for days."
"The point is, as awkward of an analogy as that was… you're not alone. In mistakes." And in running away from them.
Lapis might have retorted that none of her mistakes involved locking a gem up inside her head for thousands of years, but she's getting slightly better in not fucking herself in the mouth. "In tricking other gems to fuse with you." She replies with the obvious instead.
"Amongst other things. When she forgave me, I had so desperately wanted for things to go back to the way they were, but it wasn't like that at all. She told me I had to be strong so I could move forward, but instead it felt as if I was counting down the days before I would repeat another Sardonyx. I thought myself questioning whether I do what she wanted me to do; even wondering whether the Rose's ideals could ever fully apply to me."
In another recent addition to surprises Lapis hits herself with, she's listening.
"Then we captured Peridot, and she… was difficult, to say the least, because of my being a pearl. Infuriating to the point where I ended up punching her. I hated being brought back down to that level so much, that it felt cathartic when I did. And when it was all over, what Garnet said to me felt within my reach."
She sighs. "Sometimes I can feel it getting closer, day by day. Sometimes, it's as if it's just beyond the horizon, covered in some distant fog."
"When we freed you from Malachite," Pearl diverts shakily, "we didn't know what to say to you." Pearl frowns. "I didn't know how to apologize for what I had done to you, for keeping you inside my gem all those years." Pearl takes a breathy pause, Lapis's back still turned away from her. "But you seemed to be moving on, and you were working with Garnet and Amethyst, and I thought that maybe it would have been for the best if you didn't need me after all." Pearl shakes her head. "When you left again, I couldn't stop thinking about you. What might have happened if things had gone differently, if I had freed you when I found you, if I had actually made the effort to apologize properly, I-" Pearl's eyes are watering, and she tries to wipe at her eyes.
"I'm sorry Lapis. I'm not sure what else to say." A relatable statement, given Lapis always ends up screwing that portion of life up.
"If there's anything else I can do for you, please."
"Let me know."
She couldn't stop herself from despising Pearl in that moment. Or some other emotion.
Lapis lies her back down against the grass to face the stars again. "I still hate you, you know." She admits.
"I understand."
"I don't!" Lapis groans, having added to the headache that is dealing with Pearl, she's only just returned to Earth, and here she is, spilling her heart out to the gem she never thought she'd be talking to. "I'm tired of feeling this way. Look where it's gotten me!" She gestures to the heavens above to make her point clear.
Pearl chuckles. "Space isn't so bad-"
Lapis snickers. "Are you kidding? Space sucks. There's nothing up there, except for stars… and void."
"You didn't try to find another planet you could call your own?"
"And what? Talk to a bunch of rocks and ameobas that need a couple more eons along the evolutionary line before I can communicate with them?"
Pearl sighs, conceding defeat. "What about now? You don't have to stay on Earth, I can go with you to find Peridot-"
"And do what? Beg for her apology? Hope she forgives me for taking away the barn and all of her morps?" Peridot deserved better, despite Lapis's inability to give her otherwise.
Pearl's gaze turned into one of pity and just for a moment, Lapis glared at her. She was disgusted, because she couldn't stand Pearl wearing that same expression that she found Steven wearing so often when she had been around him.
"I wonder what she'd think of me now." Lapis shuts her eyes in defeat, as if it would all go away. "What Steven would think of me if he were still alive."
Pearl blinks. "Steven never stopped worrying about you Lapis. He was always wishing you were still somewhere out there, and that you were okay. And that if you ever needed him, you'd come back."
It was a predictable answer, but one that feels somewhat more cathartic and less like an excuse when said by someone else. She casts a glance at Steven's tombstone once more.
Steven Quartz Universe.
1992-2187
A heart of Crystal, unshatterable. Part of our Universe, and yours.
She had told herself she wouldn't become a Crystal Gem upon being freed from Malachite; only to end up on the other side of the universe. That she'd never forgive Pearl for keeping her inside her gem, even when all she could do was stare through the mirror at Pearl's compartments, crying over Rose and unable to function. She tells herself that a few hundred years of stars and void humbled her to the point of apotheosis, but it anything's certain in her life, it's that Lapis Lazuli can sink deeper.
Maybe she'll try to get out. For Steven's sake, the one who she believed in most.
But Steven isn't her savior (in the figurative sense,) and it was unfair to pin everything on the life of a human who just happened to be heir apparent to the biggest clusterfuck to rock Homeworld in Lapis Lazuli's existence.
Her gaze returns to Pearl, who's still staring off into space, eating up the stars while her Together Breakfast remains untouched. To Lapis's surprise, she's actually smiling, and Lapis frowns in return. That she might have to let go for once, and actually try to talk with the only gem left on the planet her destiny seems tied to.
She wonders if Pearl knows that Lapis knows so many of her secrets. And she wonders how many secrets are still left in Pearl, the pearl who shattered Pink Diamond.
"Pearl?" Lapis voices, to which Pearl is quick to turn to her.
"Your waffles are starting to sink." True to Lapis's word, the platter of pancakes are starting to go soggy under the now sinking mass of syrup and whipping topping. The strawberry garnish has long sunk below the whipping, leaving the once eloquently designed Together Breakfast a far cry from it's original presentation.
Pearl goes pale again, stuck staring at the now wilted Together Breakfast with an apprehensive gaze. She grumbles under her breath, and Lapis finds herself smiling at the sight of Pearl, suddenly caught off-script and forced to ad-lib for words.
"Want me to help you out?"
should I continue? Leave a review if you think i should. If i do continue, next chapter will be an exploration into the more negative aspects of pearl and Lapis's current relationship that needs more work.