Angelic Antics

A/N: Hello all! Sorry it's taking me so long to post the next chapters of Catching Up but I've been really busy and finding a solid block of time to sit down and write them is rather hard. I normally watch the episodes while writing so I can pace the conversation, pull specific quotes – you get the idea. That said, I decided to make this companion piece and not a chapter because I didn't find it super-important to that story but it is a nice addition to the overall universe. I intend to make a few these so keep an eye out for that and as always ENJOY! R&R PLZ!

With the shopping finally done, Sam, Dean, Mary, and Cas sat at the local diner with burgers and fries all around. Needless to say, the boys, namely Dean, weren't keen on telling their mother about Cas's run-in with Chastity and tried to put it off for as long as possible. Sadly, Cas had very generously offered to bring all their copious amounts of purchases back to the Bunker (though even he needed to make two trips) and it didn't take as long as they had hoped to find a diner to eat. They kept conversation away from the topic while ordering and waiting for their food to be served but Mary wasn't a hunter and a mother for nothing. "Alright," she set down her drink. "You've been stalling, tell me about this 'den of iniquity' that you took Castiel to."

Dean shifted uncomfortably, "Well it all happened when me and Sam weren't talking. We were having some…issues."

"A recurring narrative to be sure," Cas added.

He ain't wrong. Sam glowered but so was Dean so nobody said anything. "Anyway," Dean continued. "Castiel was trying to find God and not in the spiritual self-motivation way, the literal 'looking for my long-lost dad who's help I need' kind of way. He thought that the Archangel Raphael would know where the big man was so he asked me to help trap him."

"Why you? Why not another angel?" Mary asked.

"I was valuable to Heaven at the time, he thought my premier standing would make Raphael less likely to do any damage."

"Why were you so important?"

Sam and Dean shared a look. "He was," Sam began. "needed to do something, both of us were, but we didn't want to. You'll find out in the show. It was really complicated."

"Okay then," Mary said dubiously. "All this talk about Heaven, I'm failing to see where the hooker comes in."

"Now that comes in when I found out that, even with my presence, our Cas here didn't expect to survive this encounter with Raphael. So like any good hunter -"

"Ah I get it," Mary grasped with a knowing, slightly smug look that disturbed her boys to their core. "Last night alive, go out with a 'bang'." She made the air quotation marks and Sam and Dean were petrified. It was quickly becoming obvious that there were some things that they just didn't need to know about their mother but were going to find out anyway.

WOO go Momma Winchester! The voice in Sam's head cheered and whooped. "ENOUGH!" Sam cried mentally. "That's my mother c'mon." I guess I shouldn't mention the Impala… "The Impala?" he accidentally said out loud and Dean flinched.

"Don't ask little brother, just don't ask."

Thoroughly weirded out and with a voice snickering inside his mind, Sam decided to the move the conversation along, "Right, you and Cas, last night alive…"

Dean coughed, "Right so Cas was just going to sit there until morning but upon discovering he was in fact a virgin angel, I couldn't let him die like that. After some coaxing, I took him to a 'den of iniquity' as he calls it."

"What would you call it?" Cas countered.

"A cathouse," Mary suggested and Sam and Dean nearly spazzed. "Seriously? I got that from 'Of Mice and Men'. It's a book." She added when Dean didn't look convinced. "I read it in school."

"Oh." Dean relaxed.

Sam…? Can I go hang out in your mom's head for a while? Sam resisted punching his own head, "You stay right here." Possessive, I like it. With the rest of group, Dean had resumed his story was getting to the part about Chastity.

"I'd never seen Cas so petrified in my life," Dean had begun to chuckle in earnest now. "Waiting to die by an Archangel didn't phase him in the slightest but God forbid – HA!" he cackled at the word play, "I try to get him laid and its like I've sentenced him to torture in Hell."

"And you were so helpful as always Dean, you gave me alcohol," Cas rolled his eyes.

"It worked didn't it? At least in the beginning," Dean replied. "Chastity shows up. Pretty girl. She took a shine to Cas but the dude could barely move his lips. Same wide-eyed, don't-make-me-do-this, look on his face."

"Dean you shouldn't have forced him," Mary chided lightly.

"Thank you," Cas said gratefully.

"He went with her willingly enough," Dean argued.

"YOU THREATENED TO PUSH ME!"

"Yeah 'push' you, not run you through with an angel blade," Dean scoffed. "Anyway I gave him some cash and told him to have fun. A few minutes later there is this scream from the back and I think someone is going to die. I run in there expecting a fight and there's the girl yelling her lungs off before leaving. Cas is there, still dressed, confused as he ever is. Guess what he did?"

"I'd rather not contemplate the possibilities," Mary asserted dryly.

"No, not like that," Dean shook his head. "He told the girl that it wasn't her fault that her father ran off." Dean laughed into his hand at the look on Cas's face as the angel looked to the side chagrined.

"Aw Cas honey," Mary patted the angel's shoulder, hiding her own smile. Sam face-palmed while the voice snorted.

"I still don't understand why that forged such a violent reaction," Cas pouted.

"Absent fathers are sore subject with people, especially women," Mary explained.

There is a Winchester joke in there somewhere… Sam aggressively bit into his burger to avoid making a sound in return. As he chewed, the others were talking but he noticed Cas's eyes tracking him with a kind of suspicion. That caused him to awkwardly slow down and attempt to act more normal but the angel's shrewd stare kept on him. He didn't want to bring attention to it but, thankfully, Cas eventually looked away and Sam sighed in relief. The Winchester family enjoyed their meal and headed home, ready for the next episode and everything that lay ahead.