Note: This fic was inspired by a couple different images on setepenre_set's tumblr, one of blue hands with golden tattoos and one of a blue guy in body glitter. There are also a couple of references to Set's M'ega culture.
Set has mentioned on their blog that folks are welcome to borrow their headcannons for Megamind - I hope I did a good job with their ideas.
The floral scent of spilled lotions and broken perfume bottles filled the air, mixing unpleasantly with the sharply electric burning smell that drifted up from the brainbot. The shattered cyborg sparked gently, wrapped in the tattered remains of Roxanne's shower curtain. Megamind stared down at it, despair welling up like acid in his heart.
This wasn't going to work.
He'd been crazy to think this was going to work and not just crazy about the one thing, not only this urgent and disastrous mess but the larger and rather more important impending doom of his relationship. That mess. This mess was just a, a metaphor for that one, for the mess of his life, which he had been idiot enough to drag the woman he loved into.
Not that he and Roxanne were a mess – not that he thought of them that way, psssh, he didn't think of them that way at all.
It was mostly...it was just...
Anxiety.
He wondered if it were possible to plead anxiety the way you could plead insanity. It certainly felt like madness, whenever he was in the grip of it. Impulses he couldn't control. Thoughts he knew were lies. Emotions which had no roots in reality, swimming up from the depths of his mind and dragging him down into the dark.
No matter how hard he worked – no matter how hard they worked, he corrected himself, let's be real here, I'd never have come this far at all without Roxanne – the ghosts would not lie quietly at peace but returned again and again to threaten the fragile, fledgling belief that he was worth it. Worth her love.
And his own.
He bent and picked up a piece of the bot's dome, turning it over in his fingers.
This was the worst idea he'd ever had, the worst present anyone had ever –
No. No. Damn it. He was better than this, he was.
Megamind glared fiercely at his reflection in the cracked mirror over her sink.
The idea had been just fine. A personal assistant brainbot would have solved so many of the issues she had with her job. He'd made a mistake in the execution, that was all. And he could likely lay the blame for that on the anxiety itself. Fear and creativity did not play well together in his mind.
"Megs?"
The glass shard slipped from his fingers and shattered on the floor. Megamind's heartbeat lurched as panic surged within him once more.
Shit. She was home. He'd thought he'd have time to clean up and sneak out and then she'd never have known he was here, he could have erased this whole catastrophe – damn, damn, double damn.
"In here!" Megamind's eyes flickered wildly over smashed jars of perfume, plastic bottles of lotions and soaps oozing across the floor. Powdered makeup mixed with the fluids, creating a mud bank near the base of the sink. "Um. Don't –"
"What in the...?"
"- come in," he finished, as Roxanne did just that, having followed the trail of chaos through her apartment to the bathroom.
She stopped in the doorway, eyeing the mess with an expression caught between bewildered incredulity and a species of amused tolerance.
Megamind sighed. She was devastatingly stunning.
She wore his favorite lavender shirt, the button-up one that accentuated the swell of her breasts and had the lovely collar which he could never convince her to pop up. Charcoal slacks, clinging to her shapely hips and falling loose all the way down the length of her legs. Leather boots – sensible leather boots, she had pointed out to him when she'd bought them – with just enough heel to add a sinful arch to her legs and rear.
And he was covered in powdery makeup and some kind of shimmery goo from where the brainbot had smashed itself into her bathroom vanity and he'd thrown himself bodily at the thing. It hadn't managed to tear his suit but he'd lost the cape and collar somewhere between her balcony and the kitchen, and the front of him bore streaks of oily residue and thick, black grease now smeared with various blush-colored powders and sparkly gels.
God, he was a mess. In more ways than just the immediately obvious. He lifted his eyes to her face. "This isn't what it looks like."
Roxanne flattened her lips together appraised him with both brows arched. "I'm looking at it and I don't even know what it looks like."
Megamind kicked at the remnants of a broken jar with the toe of one boot, sending a flow of golden, glittery gunk flooding across the rest of the goop on the floor. "I...tried to make you a present. For tomorrow." He swallowed. "It didn't work. I got the programming wrong somehow and it. Ah. Wrecked your apartment." Unable to look at her anymore, he dropped his gaze. "I was going to clean it up before you got home."
"Oh. Um –"
"You should go get some rest. For tomorrow. And I'll..." His eyes drifted over the broken mirror, the bent faucet of the sink, the cracked tiles streaked with smoke. "I'll fix this."
Roxanne's brow furrowed. She lifted a hand towards him and took a half-step forward. "Oh, sweetheart."
Megamind hunched his shoulders and she stopped immediately. A little silence wound taut between them, twisting and tightening in his chest like claws.
He struggled to keep his breathing steady, the harsh sound of it too loud in the little room. Roxanne held herself very still but he could see how much she wanted to close the distance and hold him and that generosity of hers, that love, was like a smothering weight. Megamind clenched his fists, bracing himself, painfully aware of just how stupid this was.
He hadn't had an episode like this in almost a year. God, this was exhausting. When would this stop happening? When would enough be at last enough and these stupid, useless, humiliating feelings stop twisting his life around?
He pinched the bridge of his nose with glittery fingers. This was the worst. He sucked in another gulp of air, then forced himself to slow down and count heartbeats between breaths. Anxiety, he reflected bitterly, was a bitch.
"Megamind," she said softly. "Sweetheart, I'm really getting worried about you here. Will you talk to me?"
Share the humiliation? His mouth twisted bitterly. Sure. Why not. "Normal boyfriends don't do this."
Roxanne bit her lip, a furrow forming between her brows. "Do you want to call it off?" she asked, with a gentleness that cut right to his heart. Megamind buried his face in both hands and groaned.
"No. I do not want to call it off."
A pause. "Do you want me to call it off?"
Softer, miserably, he said, "No."
"Then it's fiancé," Roxanne said, blue eyes as soft as her voice was firm. "Not boyfriend. And tomorrow it's going to be husband." Her gaze flicked over the mess, and her mouth quirked at the corners in something that was almost a smile. She shook her head. "Granted it'll be somewhat-unpredictable-husband, wrecker of bathrooms, breaker of brainbots. But. Nonetheless. Husband."
Just hearing her say it sent a thrill down his spine.
"We have been working on this," she said, some of the worry she felt bleeding through into her tone. Megamind lifted one hand to stop her.
"I know, I know. I do, Roxanne. I have gotten, um. Better. At dealing with it. Today just..." Letting the words trail off, Megamind sighed.
He'd really tried today, that was the worst part. That some days you could do everything right and your brain would still set itself on fire. "I even went to bed early. Maybe that was the – mistake? Too much time to lay there in the dark and think about...tomorrow. About how much I...don't want to fail you. And it just... Well." He waved a hand at the ruins of her bathroom around them.
Roxanne followed the gesture with her eyes. "Lots of people get cold feet, Megs. And you don't do anything by half-measure, especially if there's anxiety involved." A gentle smile curved her mouth. "I think this is the you-version of normal, sweetheart."
God help them both.
"I...suppose that's true." He rubbed both hands over his face and let out a growling sigh of frustration. "Talking to you always makes me feel more...me. I should have just called you."
Roxanne leaned one hip against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest. "We can postpone the wedding," she said bluntly. "We can even run away and elope, if it would be easier." He opened his mouth immediately to protest that, but Roxanne lifted a hand. "I mean it, Megamind. I don't care about the ceremony – you know I don't. I just want to be married to you."
"It isn't that," he said quickly, and when Roxanne arched one disbelieving brow he sighed. "Maybe it's a tiny bit that but it-it's mostly – I just – " He almost bit his tongue, but finally managed to push the rest of the words out in a rush. "I don't want to fail you."
Chaos and ruin, the broken brainbot still sending off occasional sparks and a thin trail of smoke. Lotions and makeup and glittery-God-knew-what else a soupy mess on the floor.
The evidence of his failure was painful.
But she smiled at him, a slow, sweet curve of her mouth, and walked the few steps towards him, fine leather boots sending ripples through the multi-colored ooze. She took his face between both palms and pulled him close until he leaned his forehead against hers.
"You," she said, "are a hot mess, my love. And I wouldn't have it any other way." One hand feathered over his skull in a sweet caress that had his knees melting. "You may be a little broken, still." She kissed the tip of his nose, then moved her mouth lower and murmured against his lips, "You may always be a little broken." Kissed him, firmly, and then drew back and held his face again, staring into his eyes. "But broken isn't wrong, Megamind. You aren't wrong."
"So you say," he whispered, when he could finally speak.
"So I'll keep saying," she said, and smiled. Leaning in she kissed him again, then pulled back. "Til death do us part."
He was, forever, going to be in awe of her.
"Roxanne, I – " Megamind lifted one hand to her face but stopped before he made contact with her skin, scowling at the golden smears of glitter on his glove. Pulled back from her with a sharp sigh. Too late, though, to spare that lovely blouse from absorbing the mess of chemicals he had smeared all over his suit.
Looking down at herself, she snorted. "It's fine. I'll bring it to the venue tomorrow and give it to Minion."
"I'm sorry." He rubbed one hand over the opposite forearm, trying to wipe away the glitter. "I don't even know what this stuff is."
Roxanne stared at him with some dark, unfathomable emotion flickering through her eyes...then took two steps backward and flicked off the bathroom light.
In the sudden, near-total darkness the bathroom shimmered like a sky full of tiny, golden stars. The walls, floor, counter – and himself, splattered in it as he was.
"Oh," he breathed, staring in wonder at the shining swirls all over him. "It glows."
There was a rough sound as she cleared her throat. "It was for tomorrow night."
Realization struck like a hammer.
They had, of course, spoken at length about the courtship customs of his people.
Need flooded through him, a sudden yearning so powerful it almost brought him to his knees. He felt as though his chest had been flayed open and his heart was beating into raw air.
"Roxanne," he said, a harsh voice he hardly recognized as his own.
He could see perfectly well in the dark. She was staring at him with her lower lip between her teeth, one hand flat across her collarbone, thumb stroking over the base of her throat. Eyes half-lidded and breath coming fast.
With deliberate slowness, Megamind ran one bright hand over his body, from the base of his chin down his throat, across his chest and towards his groin but before he could get that far, she closed the distance between them and grabbed the one remaining jar, pulling him behind her into the bedroom.
With the door closed and the curtains drawn shut her bedroom was nearly as dark as his windowless one in the Lair. They'd barely made it in before pressed her body to his and kissed him. Greedy, hard kisses. Her nails bit deliciously into the sensitive skin at the base of his skull. She pulled back a little and stroked her tongue over his lips, into his mouth. He could taste the dark, heady flavor of her arousal.
It had been a while. They'd decided, together, about a month ago, to put a pause on their intimacy until the wedding night. He had certainly regretted it very often since, and judging by the urgency of her kisses and the hungry hands running all over his body, Roxanne was feeling much the same way.
She dipped her head to his neck and licked the paint off of his skin, her tongue tracing a line of fire from the underside of his jaw down to the hollow at the base of his throat. Megamind moaned, his body bowing into her. Against his skin, he felt the curve of Roxanne's smile. She licked him again, and then he felt the edge of her teeth nipping lightly at the tendons of his neck.
Ohhhh, that was the best feeling in the world – but –
"If you leave any marks there, Minion is going to kill us both."
Roxanne made a purring sound of acknowledgement but didn't stop, working over his throat with lips and teeth and tongue. His head fell back, one hand coming up to tangle in the silken strands of her hair as he stared, sightless, up at the ceiling and tried to remember how to breathe.
"On – on second thought," he gasped after a moment, "maybe it'll be worth it."
Roxanne chuckled and kissed the underside of his jaw again, then tilted his head back down.
Her lips were covered in soft, golden glitter in the dark. Megamind's breath escaped him in a whimper and she smiled, mouth curving under half-lidded eyes.
The heat coiling inside him flared like a sun going supernova.
He pulled her with him two sideways stumbling steps to the bed, but she twisted and it was Megamind who ended up on the mattress. Roxanne stood between his knees, tearing frantically at the zipper of his suit, and then remembered herself with a frustrated growl and moved down to work with speed at the snaps on his boots. "You wear entirely too many clothes."
The force of her pull on the first boot nearly yanked him off the bed. He clutched the mattress, bracing himself, and grinned down at her in the dark. "So you've mentioned."
"And yet you keep wearing them." His second boot joined the first, flung across the room to thud in a heap against the far wall.
He clicked his tongue at her. "Miss Ritchi, tonight was supposed to be a stealth mission." She yanked his suit down, roughly, panting in his ear as she struggled with the tight fabric.
A warning growl, in his ear, and then she had the suit off at last and her hands all over his naked chest. "Thank God it failed," she breathed. Found his mouth again, and stopped any reply he might have made with a series of scorching kisses.
She shoved him, gently, nudging him further onto to the bed. Obediently, he scooted up until he lay on his back, propped up on his elbows. Wasting no time, she stripped naked while he adjusted himself, then climbed on top of him. Naked skin so hot and soft it was like being trapped by a woman made of fire. Megamind reached for her and she pushed his hands aside.
"Mmm-mmm. Me first."
Roxanne straddled his hips, firm thighs like a vise around him, clenching anytime he tried to move. He made an unhappy noise. His sex ached.
"Hold still," she said. Warmed a palmful of the liquid glitter, and then painted it onto his skin. Golden fingers sketching trails of lightning over his sensitized body. His toes curled when she squeezed his nipples but she kept moving, running hungry hands over every inch of him and swirling nonsense designs over every ridge of muscle until he was shuddering and whimpering.
Megamind could feel the wetness of his own body, so much of it that it seeped out and dripped down his skin. His tentacles throbbed, held tight within his sex, and he thought that if she didn't say something soon he was going to break every one of their unspoken rules, he was going to release them and press every aching inch into the tight, hot folds of her body.
Roxanne dipped a finger into the paint and drew a line from the back of his neck around his clavicle, swirling down his chest. Dipped her finger in again...
And painted his name on her body, just below her collarbone
Breath evaporated out of his mouth.
Roxanne pressed her body flush against his, rubbing her clit against the wet, slick line between his legs and his tentacles pulsed beneath his skin. She breathed into his ear. "No." And then licked a path of fire from his jaw down his neck while he tried not to spontaneously combust.
A strangled, breathy growl worked its way free of him. Frustration from the depths of his soul. And the heartless creature laughed at him. He let his body slump forward, pressing his face into the softness of her shoulder.
"You arewearingmy name on your skin in golden glowy sparkles," he ground out through his teeth, "and you tell me no?" Roxanne smoothed her hand over his head and he whimpered. "I thought I was supposed to be the eevil one."
"Mmm. I guess you have a point." She sat back a little and lifted the jar, dipped her finger in again. "Show me mine, then." She held her hand poised over his unmarked shoulder.
Megamind drew in a sharp breath, heart hammering unsteadily. He caught her fingers in one hand, pressing them to his skin and tracing, gently, the symbols of her name.
"Now I'm yours," he whispered, swallowing hard against a surge of emotion. "And you are mine." He pressed her palm against the pulse fluttering at the hollow of his throat. Sucked in another ragged breath. "I love you so much."
"I love you t-too, oh..." Her hand slipped down the curve of his skull, fingers hovering at the base of his neck and when he bit her again, her nails clenched and he gasped, open-mouthed against her skin, as lightning shot down his spine.
Enough, enough of this. Megamind lay back against the headboard and the pile of pillows and pulled her on top of him, back to front, and snatched the jar of golden sparkles from her hand. Roxanne rubbed her ass into his groin and the pressure, the friction of her naked skin sliding over the wet heat between his legs, sent an unexpected jolt through his whole body. The jar tipped and spilled onto her breasts, painting her in starlight. Oh.
His turn, now, to run needy hands over her skin, to glory in the friction of their bodies. To drive her wild with touching. He extended his tentacles while she squirmed on him and slid them up, pressing over her warm, wet folds. A breathless gasp escaped her.
"Oh. Oh, yes. Yes."
Megamind gripped her breasts with golden fingers as she writhed, spine arching, trying to deepen the angle of penetration. He shifted his knees, held her more firmly.
"Look," he growled into her ear, and she opened heavy-lidded eyes to the sight of them, the golden trails like stardust shining on her pale skin, the darker shadow of his hands holding her soft mounds. This was beautiful, he wanted her to see, he wanted her to watch. Roxanne was breathing in sharp inhales and desperate drawn out whining moans, rocking her ass against him as his tentacles slipped in and out of her tight, hot slit.
"Megamind –"
He slid one hand down her body, firm over muscles slick with sweat and the glowing paint, and plucked at her clit with his fingers. She went taut against him, head thrown back on his shoulder, mouth open and silent. The force of her orgasm clenched every muscle in her slick heat around the tips of his tentacles. The sudden, sharp pressure was enough to push him over the edge with her and the release washed through him in one bright, intense wave that left him panting for breath and not even close to fully satisfied.
"Oh," Roxanne breathed, still rubbing her body all over his, though more slowly. "Oh, that was good." The words caught in her throat, a rough purr. She moved her hands over her own body, squeezing her breasts, nipples pinched between her fingers. Kissed the underside of his jaw, and nudged one knee with her thigh.
He released her and she turned in his arms, pinning him down with a deep, searing kiss that had him moaning into her mouth.
Roxanne scooped up a palmful of the glittery paint and reached for his writhing tentacles. The stuff was cold and Megamind hissed a breath when it hit the sensitive flesh and then very soon after that, forgot to breathe altogether.
It was slick like lube, and added to his body's own natural secretions, her hands were gliding smoothly over him, base to tip and back again, squeezing him between her fingers with exquisite pressure. His hips lifted, trying to follow her touch, breath coming in hard, quick little moans.
Roxanne drew her hands away from him, excess paint and body fluid dripping from her fingers. "You're so beautiful." Her voice was a thick whisper, strained with longing.
He glanced down at himself – and stopped.
The sparkly paint had caught in every muscled line on his chest, outlining a slim, lithe body. His groin and inner thighs were coveredin golden, glittery glow, each tentacle shining softly in the dark, lifting towards her touch like some phosphorescent deep-ocean flower seeking sunlight.
Roxanne bent over him in the dark and singled one tentacle out. Drew it between sparkling lips and sucked on it, stroking it with her tongue. He made some garbled, keening sound and she laughed, the feel of it sparking through him with an almost painful electricity. The rest of his tentacles writhed against her cheeks, painting her face with more of the glitter, and she gathered them into one hand and squeezed.
And Megamind hit his breaking point.
A breath shuddered through him and he surged up, catching her in his arms and crushing his lips to hers, slipping his tongue into her mouth. Her hands stroked his head. He could taste himself in her mouth.
Not enough, not enough – but he couldn't let go, couldn't bring himself to stop. He kissed her until he was dizzy from lack of breath, then broke away, gasping her name in harsh, urgent tone.
"Roxanne – Roxanne, Roxanne –"
"Yes, yes, yes – "
He pinned her underneath him, rocking his hips into hers, tentacles stroking the slick, hot skin of her inner thighs. Roxanne arched to press her body into his, reaching for him, trying to pull him closer. He took her breast in his mouth. Swirled his tongue around her nipple and then sucked hard until she moaned, a ragged, broken sound, and drug rough nails over his back.
"Harder," she growled. "Harder – please – Megamind, God damn it, fuck me."
She hooked one leg around his waist for leverage and ground herself into him, helplessly. Megamind matched her thrusts a moment, their bodies gliding together, skin slippery with sweat and the glowing paint. His eyes fluttered shut at the contact – God, she felt so good. He slipped the tips of his tentacles into her, all of them at once, pressing slowly. Roxanne's incoherent sounds of pleasure filled his ears.
She was so tight. He hardly ever let himself fill her with every tentacle at once, always keeping her pleasure in mind, he usually held one apart and worked her clit. Not tonight. Not with her skin covered in little golden stars, not with his name painted onto her body.
He thrust into her slowly, kissing her neck as his hips rolled forward, tentacles writing in the exquisite, silken heat of her. Roxanne cupped her hand around the back of his neck, trying to angle her hips under him and draw him in deeper. Every gasping, broken breath she took sent a hot rush of air over his neck. He thrust into her, harder, faster, rocking her body underneath his. His tentacles stroking her walls, trying to reach even deeper. She drug her nails down his spine and sent electricity thrumming through him, from the roof of his mouth down to his toes.
He may have screamed. He wasn't really sure.
A wild, explosive wave of ecstasy melted every nerve in his body at once. Roxanne's voice broke in a keening, breathless cry and he held himself, trembling, pressed into her. His tentacles were still throbbing as her body clenched around him and his released into her.
He collapsed on top of her, both of them heaving for breath. Her heart raced under his ear. One of her hands came up, cupped his skull. He could feel her fingers trembling. Her legs were still holding him against her. It took some serious concentration to keep his mouth closed so he didn't drool on her. A muffled ringing filled his ears.
At last Roxanne dropped her legs. Cool air hit sweaty skin and he made a noise of protest, then rolled over onto his back and pulled her with him.
She curled into his side and gave a satisfied hum, tracing her finger over the blurred mark of her name still glittering on his blue skin. "So...that was a good idea."
"Holy shit, yes." He reached, fumbled a bit, and finally managed to tangle one hand in the silken and somewhat damp strands of her hair. "I really...have some serious regrets about how much of that stuff is on your bathroom floor."
There was a pause. He could feel her hold her breath.
"Oh, God. Don't tell me we can't get more of it –"
"I could only find the glowing kind in bulk."
Another pause. Megamind blinked, unfocused, up at the ceiling.
"I... How much bulk are we talking about?"
"We could probably fill a bathtub with it."
His heart skipped a couple of beats. "Holy fuck."
Roxanne chuckled. "The jars in the bathroom were just for. Um. Testing."
Testing.
His mind projected an image of Roxanne, alone and gloriously naked, jar of glitter in one hand while the other drew a shining line of sparkles down her body.
"Have I mentioned," he managed, in a strained sounding voice, "how much I love you?"
"Mmm. Once or twice." Drowsiness thickened her voice. The hand on his chest turned, tapped her engagement ring against his collarbone. "I love you too, Megamind."
Warm, curled up with her in the dark, so languid it felt like his muscles were made of goo. Tomorrow he was going to marry her. All the buzzing anxiety of the day felt like it had happened in a former lifetime.
"I am sorry," he said after a while, speaking softly in case she'd fallen asleep.
"Wha...?"
He ran his fingers through her hair again. "I really did want to give you a wedding present."
Roxanne stoked her hand over his chest. Flattened her palm over the mark of her name. "And here I had decided you are my present."
Warmth, love, hope - a rush of overwhelming and still unfamiliar feelings bloomed in him like a sunrise. He drew in a slow breath. Tried to steady himself.
Another thought occurred.
"How'd I do?" he asked. Adding, for clarification, "As a present, I mean. How'd I do?"
Roxanne gave a breathy kind of laugh, and shifted to press a soft kiss over his heart.
"I'd give you...a thousand gold stars."