This story is entirely silly and any humor value is totally subjective. The title literally means "to mock" in French.
These are the revised versions of the unintentionally funny stories from "Magic Secrets and Other Tales of Fail," which I wrote at age ten and just recently re-posted. By "revised," I mean that I made the narrator and dialogue snarky, self-referential, and self-depreciating. Basically, it makes fun of itself on purpose and still sucks. All of the spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc. mistakes in the originals are still here.
Our first fanfic is Magic Secrets, begun on December 8, 2003 and last revised February 22, 2004. Hoooooo boy, this one. It was probably the second fanfic I ever wrote, the first being Egypt Avalon (please, please, please don't ask…), which I can't find. I wrote this either right before or right after the first edition of All's Fairy in Love and War came out.
One-sentence summary: I threw out the entire Avalon canon, made up my own, transformed Adriane into an exposition-spouting Canon-Sue, and forced the other mages to be her sounding boards and cheerleaders. Oh, be afraid.
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Disclaim: I do not own any of the Avaon: Web of Magic characters. I only own the ones I've created! By the end of this, you will deeply appreciate those facts.
The three mages sat in the magic glade on a cold winter morning, for no apparent reason. They were talking about the dark sorceress and remarkably not freezing to death.
"I hope she's dead!" Kara exclaimed. "She deserves it for what she did to Lyra!"
Lyra shuddered. She had loathed the cold dungeons and endless catacombs that she had been trapped in. She also loathed ending sentences with prepositions, but that was just as inescapable as those terrible memories.
All of the sudden, a porthole opened! But there wasn't a ship in sight! Out of it stepped a transparent figure, it looked like a women, but for some reason no one was quite sure. She looked about fifty and wore long flowing robe, covered in jewels that somehow did not weight down said flowing robe.
"YOU" she yelled, pointing at Kara. "You were the cause of my downfall, and now you must pay! Fear my vague clichés of evilness!"
With that, a glowing fireball appeared in her hand. She thrust it at Kara, but Adriane deflected it with a powerful blast from her jewel.
"RUN!" shouted Emily, and she, Kara, Adriane, Lyra, Ozzie, and Dreamer ran across the glade, towards the water, the ghost close behind them. Adriane threw some sort of dust in the water, as it fell, a circle, about three feet by three feet opened in the water, magically announcing its exact dimensions to the world.
"Jump" yelled Adriane, and they all leapt into the porthole, closing it just before the ghost was able to go through. The ghost banged on the side of the ocean liner and demanded that the crew open the porthole.
And they fell, deeper into the porthole. The bilge water reeked.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Did that make any NFBSKing sense whatsoever? No? Good.
Don't worry, it's all explained later. In huge, ugly chunks of expository dialogue.