Snape/Hermione story: they're both teenagers at Hogwarts, but this is not a time-turner story; simply Hermione's character in Snape's childhood; she replaces Lily's character. Just a little something my brain begged me to write down :)
"Love asks me no questions,
And gives me endless support."
William Shakespeare
Severus was stealthily hiding in the shadows of the hallway, trying to watch out for too many things at once. He had stolen some flowers from the greenhouse and had gotten away with it so far, but he knew he would either be caught or blamed for it anyway. Merlin knew Severus Snape just had to be blamed for any and every incident that happened in the world, muggle and wizard alike.
But he had taken the flowers for a good reason, at least. Noble, even. Severus had watched his best friend walk past the greenhouse many times and stop only long enough to gaze at the jungle beyond the glass, but turn away with a sigh and continue walking with him to class. Since he could not afford to buy the girl flowers properly, and she was not one to break rules very easily, he decided to put his bad reputation to good use.
Hermione's smiles are the best, he thought to himself with a tiny grin of his own.
The flowers were floating carefully across the hall and then hovered just beside the library's doorway, where he knew she would come out of in mere seconds. She was such a creature of habit, but that made it easier for him to find her around the school, just in case anything happened.
He pulled his robes in closer to his body to make sure he was indeed out of sight. Then his dark eyes snapped back to the door that was opening right on time. He watched her face intently and held his breath in anticipation.
When she practically barreled into them, he almost laughed. But then he felt his stomach flip, in a good kind of way, as she hastily snatched them out of the air, beamed, then stuck her face in them to smell. If he had been standing next to her though, he would have yelled at her for not checking the flowers for any nasty spells before even thinking about touching them.
How many times do I have to tell that girl that in order to survive adolescence, it is absolutely necessary for people like us to be suspicious and wary of everything and everyone?
Severus did feel a wave of relief wash over him as she obviously enjoyed the gift. His gift to her. It was not the first time he had done something like that for Hermione. They were each other's only friend, after all. She had been his best friend for a long time, but he had begun to notice different things about her. New things. Things that nobody else ever bothered to learn about her. Things like the fact that her eyes were not just brown, they were sometimes more auburn or more amber, depending on the lighting or her mood. Sometimes he could swear he literally saw a flame in her eyes when she was angry enough. Not like his eyes. His were black no matter what. He knew what his eyes looked like, since he had grown up glaring into the same black eyes of his father. As if that man even deserved that title...
Before he could get carried away in his darker thoughts, Hermione took her face out of the makeshift bouquet and looked around. She had to have known though that they were clearly from him. She had no other friends, and certainly no suitors... at least that he knew of. He frowned at that last thought.
He saw that her preposterous hair, that was partly twisted into some sort of style, was hardly getting any better as she aged. She always told him that her hair had obviously finally began curling into a "much more manageable" mass. He always responded by tugging a chunk of it and analyzing the bounce to test her theory, which made her giggle and swat at him playfully. It made him happy to cause her merriment, but also he felt a little thrilled with any physical contact. She was more touch-y than him, not that that was saying very much. He even received a hug from her every night, just before curfew, and it made him practically float down to the dungeons every time.
Hermione sighed when she could not find him and gathered her books along with the flowers before leaving. As soon as she passed his dark corner, he slipped right out into view, as if nothing had happened. The moment he took a step, though, he heard the obnoxious laughing of Potter's gang approaching the hall he was standing in. He had no idea whether or not they had seen what had happened, but he could not leave fast enough.
There was frisson of panic that ran through his body, before being replaced by anger. Anger was an emotion Severus could very easily accept himself to express. The bitterness of his childhood plus the idiotic group before him that existed to destroy any possible good times in his life at Hogwarts, gave him plenty of ammunition. He was incredibly grateful that Hermione had left right before. It was horrifying to think of being humiliated in front of her. She knew that they bullied him, but not the extent of it. The silly Gryffindor swot did not, in fact, know everything.
He was only met with James and Sirius this time around, but he did not know whether or not that two against one was any better than the usual four to one. Those two were the strongest and cruelest. He just hoped that he would not have to be sent to the hospital wing so soon after the last incident.
It did not matter that he was very powerful and angry, apparently, because he could never bring himself to truly give in to the darkness that swirled inside of him. He could feel its seductive promise of glory once and for all. But there was a big enough part of himself that refused to release it. Maybe it was because of the violence he had seen his father show his mother... and himself, as he got older. That man had been drinking himself to death as long as he could remember, yet he would not go away and leave them in peace. Maybe Severus did not want to be like his father and think violence would solve any problem. Maybe, in another time, he would have given in to the darkness.
But now he had people who cared about him. Well, Hermione and Madam Pomfrey and perhaps his mother. Madam Pomfrey always did her best to keep him comfortable in the hospital wing while treating his many injuries, and for that he would never forget her kindness to him. His mother might have cared for him a long time ago, but as he grew up, he noticed that she hid from both him and his father. Even she feared that he would end up just like his father.
As for Hermione, well... he loved her. They were the best of friends; she knew everything about him and he knew all about her. They protected each other. They shared a love of books and knowledge, which meant a lot to both of them since they were such bookworms. They sometimes even shared feelings- she had told him a few times about how she would get a weird sensation in different parts of her body and swore she could hear a word or two in her head sometimes. He had figured out that she was connected to him somehow, because one time she had felt a pain in her knee that coincided with a hex he took in his leg from Black. Since she had not experienced the physical abuse that he had, he had no idea whether that connection went both ways.
He got a nasty hex thrown at him viciously to his wand hand, before being petrified. Laying there, defenseless, he vaguely heard Sirius and James saying something to him, undoubtably scathing. But all he could focus on was the sound of Hermione frantically calling out his name.
"Severus! Are you here? Sev-"
She was cut off when she turned the corner and saw James attempting to jerk Sirius away from Severus' sprawled body. Potter tried to say something to her, but her hair was beginning to spark and crackle, so he wisely shut his mouth.
Severus' outrage was doubled because she had found him in his position. Because then she ran to him and, in stupid Gryffindor fashion, she stood over the weak boy at her feet as if she was going to protect him from the world. When the spell lifted, he immediately jumped up with one hand burned and mangled, and the other clenched in a fist.
"Boys, you better tell me what is going on before I take care of this my way," she practically growled at them.
Sirius was dumb enough to reply with a sudden yell of "I'd like to see you try, you m-"
James had grabbed Sirius' arm and tried to wordlessly beg him to shut him up, while Hermione stepped closer to them and shoved her wand in their faces.
"Finish that sentence, Black. I dare you. You really want to try me right now?"
They both immediately darted off in the opposite direction. They must have seen that flame in her eye... he briefly thought to himself, before furiously turning on Hermione.
She knew what his anger was like by now, so she tried to calm him down with a touch to his hand and a soft look in her eyes. But she managed to lay her fingers down on his burnt hand, so he sharply hissed in pain as he jerked himself away. Because of their weird bond, she grimaced at the same time and rubbed her hand. Then he glared at her before he accio'd his wand with his undamaged hand. That particular glare of his made many wizards back away, as if they had upset some murderous monster. However, the girl just scowled right back at him and crossed her arms over her chest. If he had not been so upset, he would have laughed at her fondly for her attempt at intimidating him.
"Merlin, Severus, what were thinking by lying there for them to do whatever they wanted? They burned you?!" Mid-sentence, she had switched from scolding him to gently reaching for him, as if to comfort him. But he needed no comfort. He was not a child with a scratch that needed a kiss on it to make it all better. He refused to let her ridicule him again by babying him like that!
So he stepped further away from her and put his bad hand down by his side so she could not see it. Then he told her as coldly as he possibly could, "I do not need your pity, you daft cow! Just... just sod off already, mudblood!"
Because they were best friends and he knew everything about her, he knew just how to hurt her. However, his horrible words would have been more effective had he been able to make eye contact with her. If he had though, she would have easily seen all of his emotions in his eyes and on his face. Luckily, he had been half-turned away from her, so he knew his harsh words had hit their mark.
There were a few uncomfortable moments of silence as she decided how to react to him. He waited for her to hit him, even though she had never done so before. He waited for her to demand that he beg for her forgiveness, but that too she had never asked of him. There were plenty of names she could have called him, ones she had heard the Marauders call him enough times for it to stick with the other students.
Hermione did none of these things.
With a toss of her head, she simply said, "I am going to pretend I did not just hear that terrible word come out of my best friend's mouth. Perhaps we need to take a short break and cool down a bit." Her lips tightened into a thin line and she added with a challenging stare, "I will meet you in the library at our regular time, yes?" Then nodded sharply at him, grabbed her flowers and books and walked away stiffly.
Of course he immediately felt guilty for calling her... that. But he was also still mad. He was mad at Potter and Black. He was mad at her for seeing him so weak and vulnerable. He was mad at himself for not putting those dunderheads in their place. Hermione knew he had more than enough power to defend himself. He knew he did too. But she obviously did not understand how dangerous it would be to tap in to that sort of magic.
She should have just punched me right in the face, he thought morosely. It certainly would have been easier to deal with than this!
Emotional pain was much harder to control than physical pain. Bruises on your body would heal with ointment. But damage to your psyche or soul could not be dealt with the same way. He almost wished he had been beaten up by those idiots, because then he would have ended up in the hospital rather than destroying the best thing in his life.
Well, he had a few hours before meeting her in the library. It was possibly good news that she had not completely abandoned him forever. But if he knew his witch, she would not let him off that easily. She was not cruel, but she would not be cowed. His mind was whirling with intense emotions, but the worst of them was the guilt. Guilt was not as easy for him as anger was. He just hoped he would not end up either crying in front of her or yelling at her some more, since he clearly did not know how to deal with any of his emotions properly.
Severus was the first to show up in the library later on. He did not want to exacerbate the already horrible situation by being late. He would not blame her for standing him up, though. Merlin knew he deserved much, much worse than that.
However, she did appear in the back section where they always sat, right on time, like usual. Except rather than being greeted by her wonderful smiling face, he was met with blank eyes. He had never seen Hermione look like that, and it cut him deeply to know that he was the cause of her unhappiness.
There was no way to start off his apologies that he could think of at that moment. It was crucial that he find a way to fix the situation so that he did not lose her for good. Again, he waited for her to throttle him and kick him around. But she just stared at him for the longest time. She did not look defeated, she just looked calculatingly at him.
He decided to let down his walls for her and openly let her see all of the things he was feeling. He showed her his guilt and his shame and his agony. She had to have known that he regretted telling her what he had the instant it had come out of his stupid mouth. He had never called her that name before, so obviously it had been in the heat of the moment. She was aware of how much he despised pity and weakness.
They kept staring into each other's eyes until she blinked and took a step closer to him. When she lifted her hand, he could not stop himself from flinching away. He hated himself so much at that moment. He trusted her with his life, yet he was acting like she was his father!
He saw something flash in her eyes before she gently pulled him close for a hug. Sometimes it was like she knew just how much he craved that contact and affection. He felt his body cave in on itself as he soaked her in. Such a little body gave him so much warmth that went all the way into his soul, it felt like. Forgiveness is a magical feeling, he thought to himself.
Hermione started to tremble in his arms and he looked down into her face to see her crying. Neither of them ever really cried, so he was clueless as to how she should be comforted. He had never been much of a comforter, but he knew he would do anything to make her feel alright again.
The tears kept flowing as she sniffled and grasped his robes desperately. He did not know what words would soothe her in her state, so he just held her to him and ran his hand through her impossible hair. He thought to give her his handkerchief after a few more pitiful sobs and eased her away enough to pull it out and start wiping her face.
She took it out of his hand and blew her nose in it before scourgifying it. With a familiar toss of her head, she looked up at him and finally said something to him.
"Severus, you're my best friend. You're everything to me. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of those idiots. I know you can defend yourself; you're probably the most powerful wizard I know. But I love you and I panicked when I saw you on the ground, looking like you were about to get beaten up. You scared me and I couldn't help but be a 'stupid Gryffindor'." She paused to tug on his robes, as if she needed him to understand. "You can't just say whatever to me; you can't fight so dirty. It hurt me to hear you say that... even though I knew you were just lashing out. But I- I can't lose you... I can't. You have my heart."
When her eyes began to water again, he felt his own do the same. Instead of being horrified, he knew he could trust her to not judge him for showing an emotion. She said she... that she loved... me? his mind finally caught up.
He finally knew what to say to her. Her love... gave him all the strength he needed.
They were holding each other tightly when he whispered to her, "I am so sorry, Hermione. I am. I can't lose you either. I thought I had lost you earlier and it... it broke me. I have loved you and will continue loving you as long as I live. You should not apologize for protecting me, when I would have done the same for you. Actually, I would have turned them into bugs and stepped on them for daring to cross my witch. You do know that you have had my heart for quite some time now, right?" Her eyes lit up as she smiled up at him. He always knew he loved her, but now she knew. And she was not turning him away for it! Before he knew it, he was kissing her for the first time. Is this what love is feels like? All of the time? He was amazed. He was in a wonderful daze. Hermione was running her tiny hands through his inky black hair as she kissed him back. He could not believe he was kissing her! Or that she was kissing him back!
Neither of them were experienced enough to go further, so he barely pulled away from her and saw the passion reflecting back at him in her eyes. There's that flame I know so well, he thought affectionately to himself. She beamed at him and said, "Let's go get that hand looked at, shall we? Oh, and by the way, thanks for the flowers." They both caressed each other with all of their love radiating and he felt a stupid grin on his face when he noticed her pink cheeks and red lips. Then he had a strange flash of male pride and protectiveness run through him.
Severus gripped her upper arms and fiercely told her, "I will never say that vile word ever again, I promise. I hate myself for saying what I said to you. You have to believe me, I didn't mean it. Not one bit. I promise I'll make it up to you."
And Severus always kept his promises.
AN: Man, I loooove me some Snape! I thought he deserved to have a happy story where he's loved and it ends well! Although I do feel like Hermione would have hexed Snape into oblivion for calling her a mudblood, my young Snape would not handle any type of physical retaliation from her very well at all. He knew he was wrong for saying it and she let him take a breather before they blew up on each other. Instead of dumping his dumb ass, she gave him a chance and told him she LOVED him! I would say things ended up nicely for my little couple :)
Yay! Hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did!