Allan was finally home. The camp, his cot, his blankets, his tags - home. After weeks of living in the castle and wondering why he wasn't happy he came to a realization. The gang were the only people who really cared for him. In reality he'd known that all along but when he'd been excommunicated from their presence he tried to pretend that he didn't need them. He'd gotten on without them before and he could get on now. But he hadn't been happy. He was only happy with them. It had taken him weeks to realize this, but he missed them. He missed his family. The only reason he hadn't acknowledged this before was because then he would have to face the guilt he'd felt for what he'd done to them. Once he realized this he also realized it was worth whatever it would take to get back in.

And then Marian asked for help. His old selfish demeanor tried to get in the way - and nearly succeeded. But he'd come around eventually and went back to help Robin. He went back to save Robin - and Will and Djaq and John and Much. He even missed Much. He knew they wouldn't trust him at first - and for good reason. And he knew it would be hard, but he'd done it. And now he was finally welcomed home. After dreaming about it for so long, Allan thought he would be happy - and he was… kind of.

He still felt so guilty. It was eating away at him. They'd all loved him, hated him, forgiven him, and now loved him again. But Allan hadn't yet forgiven himself and honestly didn't know if or why he deserved such kindness. He was loathsome and foul - and a liar. He mentally vowed he would never betray them again, and he intended to keep this vow - but in his mind that didn't justify what he'd already done.

It had been weeks since they'd all returned from the holy land. Robin became quieter, and the others accepted this and let him grieve for his lost love. He was still a good leader, a great leader, and had a new motivation for stopping the sheriff and Gisborne who had returned about the same time as them and resumed wreaking havoc. Robin made plans and focused on his work with a new vigor. It was left unsaid but the others knew he wouldn't truly calm down until the sheriff and Gisborne were defeated and the king was safely back in England. Only once that had happened would he consider his promise to Marian fulfilled and be able to move on with his life. The others thought this sad, and did what they could for their leader, but accepted his fate same as he did.

One of the only times that they'd seen Robin truly smile was on that glorious day about four weeks after they'd returned.

Allan had been grateful to be back in camp - and was happier than he'd ever been in the castle. But he couldn't deny that he missed Will and Djaq desperately. He knew he had fancied Djaq, but he also knew that Will loved her. They were both honorable courageous kind people who deserved each other. He would never be with Djaq - because he would never allow someone like her be dragged down by the likes of him. After all he was a horrible person among wonderful people. He loved them both as his best friends, nothing more (He decided he wouldn't let anything come between him and his best friends - not even his own feelings, so he was content to love Djaq as just his friend same as Will).

About four weeks after the four outlaws returned to England to be the only force standing between the sheriff and the townspeople, Will and Djaq returned. The first true smile that the others had seen in weeks crossed Robin's face making him look like his old happy self again as he embraced one outlaw and than the other. Much and John were happy to see the other two as well, and happy to see their leader happy - but Allan doubted any of them were as happy as he was. He embraced Will like the brother he considered him to be and he actually lifted Djaq off the ground and swung her around amidst the others laughter. "I'm not being funny - I missed you two!" They both smiled blushing at the man they both considered their other brother.

They'd questioned Will and Djaq fervently that night - all had been convinced they would stay in the Holy land for good. They were both smiley as well - they'd missed their family as much as they'd been missed by the considerably empty band of outlaws. They were all in an uproar to discover that the two had gotten married - that was the unsaid reason why they'd stayed in the first place, so Bassam could see his niece married off. When pressed for why they didn't stay anyway, both had their own answers. Will said that he felt quite useless. He wanted a reason to fight and besides - there was no wood to carve.

They all laughed at this then looked to Djaq who explained, "That land was a place for Saffiyah, not a place for Djaq." Then they all laughed again as she made some references toward dresses and veils that were all so unapologetically girly, which was not Djaq's style at all. She also explained how she could not breathe there - the custom for women was so strict, she much preferred to be a boy/girl transvestite in England.

And so things had returned to normal - nearly. Robin still had that morbid demeanor about him - and although Allan was heartened by his best friends return, he still had that shadow of guilt hanging over him like a veil never to be lifted off. He felt absolutely horrible when someone did something kind for him, and utterly undeserving. He found he was not sleeping at night because it as too comfortable of a bed. He just felt unworthy to be a part of such a worthy group of people. He tried to be himself for he did not want to explain his thoughts and be met with the inevitable pity and attempt to reassure him that he was indeed a good man.

The result of this was that he remained his cocky uncaring self when he was around them while being haunted by his festering conscience when he was alone or it was quiet. Not even Will or Djaq realized something was wrong and so it continued on, Allan slightly satisfied with the guilt that followed him around because it was a punishment he felt that he deserved. Little did he know that although he thought Will and Djaq didn't notice - in reality the whole gang noticed a slight change in him, but wasn't exactly sure what it was.

It had now been about two weeks since Will and Djaq's return. The rest of the gang had taken to sitting cozily by the fire inside the camp. They were talking and laughing, even Robin was occasionally joining in with a chuckle or two. Allan felt slightly edgy in the cozy situation. It was all so comfortable… too comfortable. I don't deserve a happy situation like this. This was stifling and Allan tried not to portray it, but the others were vaguely aware of his noticeable silence. Finally he couldn't take it anymore. He casually stood up and volunteered to get more firewood, making a joke on his way out the door to avert suspicion.

Allan took in a deep breathe of the brilliantly frigid night air. It was drizzling. Allan felt truly relaxed at the uncomfortable situation and walked out a little farther feeling a slight shiver as the chill went through his skin. Whether he acknowledged it or not these feelings of overwhelming guilt were getting less and less severe as he got more accustomed to being back in the gang. But tonight he was happy to be secluded. He was happy to be alone and not share in the happiness of the others - maybe he was afraid of ruining it for them? Whatever the reason, he liked to be alone more now than before his betrayal. He often volunteered nowadays to do the chores no one else wanted to do, like getting firewood on the morbidly gray nights. It made him feel like he was repaying them in a small way by letting them have the comfort they deserved. So he continued on his way at ease (for once) taking his time and enjoying the weather that so seemed to fit his personality. He gathered up twigs here and there determined to bring back a mighty pile of wood.

--

A young, blonde-haired woman pushed her way through the forest determinedly. She had to mentally push down panic as she rushed through the trees hoping to be found by a certain group of outlaws. Her eyes were red and puffy, but she didn't let this get in her way - she had to focus on one thing and one thing only; for if she wasn't focused solely on finding Robin Hood then her mind would wander. And if she allowed her mind to wander it would surely be engulfed by the mounting black abyss of panic that lay just below the surface. In her rush she stumbled and fell to the freezing ground - she didn't even dust herself off, she just got up and kept going. She saw a tree and was unexpectedly reminded of her son, sitting under a tree - happily playing. She let out a stifled cry and tried desperately to push the memory out before it took over her mind and made her collapse in a pathetic crying heap on the forest floor. No! For him! I have to find Robin Hood!

She continued onward. Her legs were starting to seize up in the cold, and she pushed her hair out her eyes in frustration. Her hair was slightly damp as it was drizzling this night. She was practically running up the great North Road, waiting and hoping for the inevitable. Sure enough, she was not disappointed. She nearly collapsed again, this time with relief, as a voice carried from behind her. "Oi! Miss, don't you know it's not safe, to be running around Sherwood forest, especially at this time of night - there are outlaws everywhere you know!" She turned around expectantly only to find a man who was clearly not Robin and her mind nearly overtook her again.

"I'm trying to find Robin Hood!" she cried desperately, tears running down her face now as she practically shouted at the blonde-haired man with electric blue eyes. The only thing that kept her from losing it was the realization that although he wasn't Robin, he didn't look completely unfamiliar either. Yes, she had seen him before! With Robin - he was with Robin Hood!

Allan A' Dale immediately dropped his joking demeanor (that he'd automatically put on out of habit) once he saw that her face was red with tears. Timidly he put down his pathetically small bundle of firewood and approached the young woman who was obviously in distress. "It's all right. It's all right." He said in what he hoped was a soothing voice. He came up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder looking her in the eyes. "I know Robin Hood. Just tell me what's wrong, and I can get him for you." He gave her a few moments to compose herself, to wipe her face and stop the flow of tears. "Hang on." He said lowering his eyebrows in confusion and taking a good look at her, "Don't I know you?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed, "I'm Annie. Robin - or you all - helped me once before. You found my Seth in the forest - and now the Sheriff's taken him!" she burst into tears again as Allan was struck with the memories of Seth and Annie. His face, which was usually happy and carefree - was now creased with worry lines and his eyes were wide with concern. He placed an arm on her shoulders and said in his rarely used somber voice, "All right. You're all right. C'mon, you're coming back to the camp with me."

--

So basically I got to watching Episode 1/04 and saw absolutely great chemistry between Allan and Annie. And I've been thinking that Allan really needs a girl. He's the only one who hasn't been lucky in love yet - and I'm getting sick of every person's different OC to pair him with. Why not give him a solid character he already established great chemistry with that no one else seems to have considered (at least none that I've seen - if you have than sorry for stealing the idea, lol)?... And so starts the first chapter of another romance multi-chap fic, this time about all our favorite jokester- Allan A' Dale. This will contain other traditional pairings, maybe, I dunno yet, depends on how I feel…

BTW: Just a side-note. I really didn't want to marry off Will and Djaq without the rest of the gang there but I couldn't think of any other premise that would allow them to stay in the holy land for only a few weeks then return home. Chapter 2 is already written, I'm just waiting a bit… maybe for some reviews (Hint Hint). And honestly I think I like the next chapter better than this one… As always - Enjoy!

-With love, The Freckled Advocate

P.S. If I don't respond to your review, don't think I don't appreciate it, because I really do, I'm just still trying to get the hang of working this website…

Thanks for Reading. )

-FA