A/N: These are my thoughts on the Superboy/Superman father/son relationship. And I strictly mean only father/son. I don't do slash unless I firmly believe in it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. And this is not slash. Don't even think about it.

Paternal

He stared at me like I was trash. Probably because I was. I was nothing to him. I was another insignificant being placed on Earth just to make his life just that much more miserable.

On the windshield of Superman's life, I was just a bug that happened be splat on the thick glass. My life was created by him and wasted by him. He was my father in a figurative sense. He hadn't actually had me as a son, but I carried his DNA and that was enough for anyone to call us a pairing of father and son.

He isn't my father. He is my idol. He is my role model. He is everything I want to be. I look up to him as my hero. He is the only one I want to be. Superman has made his decision to keep this distance the way it is. He won't look at me like a son. He won't even look at me. Instead, he looks through me.

The way he sees it, I am no more his son than Kid Flash is smart. Or at least I'm hoping that's the right sort of simile for the way he thinks so little of me. He knows I exist and that might be the most I'll ever be able to hope for. Just to know that he knows I'm alive, that's all I guess I'll need. I already know it's all I'll ever get from him.

I am Superboy, clone of Superman. I am his figurative son, but I am so neglected by him that he is no longer anything to me. I have lost nearly all emotion towards the paternal force that once existed in my life. If he decides to ignore me, I decide to ignore him. That is the way I have made it. I won't change it. I am who I am. If he hates me, I'm willing to hate him right back.

Or at least I'll tell myself to hate him. Something deep inside me admires him for being so strong and for being so powerful and such an icon for people. He embodies the idea of strength in the minds of everyone everywhere. He is what young kids want to be when they grow up. He's who I want to be, if I ever get the privilege.

It gets to the point where he won't look at me. I disgust him. Superman sees me as nothing more than another nuisance. I am just another kid in those crystal blue eyes of his; I have the exact same pair of eyes.

And I can't help but see myself as garbage. I've heard stories of abuse. I can't help but feel like this treatment he gives me is abuse. The way he ignores me. The way he frowns upon me. The way he makes me feel so small...

I'm tired of feeling small. I want him to look at me like he's proud. I want to have someone look at me like I'm more than some genetic experiment gone wrong that showed up on their doorstep one day. I want to know that I mean something to someone. I want to know that I'm not useless. I want to be told that I mean something. I don't want to live my life as a nobody forever.

I try to talk to him. I try to get him to look at me. All those eyes see are a mistake. All he can ever see in me is a mistake.

And all I can see in him is the mistake he's making. Superman will never be my father. If he won't accept me for being who I am, then he doesn't deserve to be my idol. I looked up to him once as the paternal figure in my life. Now he is the bug on the windshield of my life. I'm done trying to find a real hero in him.

A/N: Sorry that it seems short. Second piece should be up soon. Reviews are appreciated.

~Sky