Heart of a Hollow
There's a hollow in me.
I thought love can fill the hollow within but it only amplifies the hollow in me.
Maybe love is a hollow thing.
Maybe I am a Hollow myself; I just haven't realized it yet.
---
I look at the moon through the bars. The moon looks bigger and colder here. And I wonder where the sun is.
Moon and sun.
Cold and warm.
Dark and light.
It seems wrong without the other. Isn't our world made out of such balance?
There are no stars either.
The moon is all alone in the dark, empty sky.
Alone… like me.
Sometimes I had nightmares that the walls are closing in on me and I couldn't breathe. I choked in tears, only to wake up and choke in tears all over again.
I started talking to the moon.
It always listened patiently.
Until one day it finally talked back to me.
And then, he came. Like a knight. Except that he wasn't. He is the dragon, sent by the evil warlord to guard me in the tall tower.
I don't understand. I am not trying to run. I chose to come and stay. The princess doesn't want anyone to come and save her.
When I told him that, he merely stared into my eyes and said, "Your friends are coming anyway, whether you want to be saved or not, woman."
He was cruel like that - cruel but not evil. I don't fear him like I fear others here.
He was a man of few words. But it doesn't matter. I have someone else to talk to besides the moon now. His words often prompted me to think about things I've never thought before.
Perhaps he saw the hollow in me - the hollow in my heart that yearns for an unrequited love.
"You are one of us now," he said.
I wanted to deny but couldn't.
I can still feel the pain with this hollow insides me. He, on the other hand, didn't seem to affect by his. Or maybe he hid it too well. I thought I hid it well too before I came here.
"Do you feel any pain here?"
I pointed to my neck.
And he understood immediately.
"No."
I could tell he was speaking the truth, as always.
But I knew the pain was somewhere more downwards.
"You are not one of them." I said quietly.
"How can you be so sure?"
This time, I smiled.
"I just do."
---
There's a hollow in me, in everyone.
But as long as there is hope, no matter how hopeless as it may seem, we are whole.