A/N: This story is for all you Remus fans out there. I intend to follow him from the night of Lily and James' death to the morning he sets foot on the train in PoA. These twelve years, as far as Remus is concerned, are completely undocumented in canon so there's a whole wonderland out there to play with. With this in mind, expect a number of OCs- maybe even a relationship or two (canon does not claim Tonks was Remus' first love!). And to end this freakishly long A/N: For those of you who are still interested, our journey begins…

Disclaimer: Now for the shocker- I don't own Harry Potter. Some extremely lucky people do.

Chapter One: Shattered

Remus was relaxing in front of the fire with a book. It felt good to have a quiet night. For too long now there had been no nights like this, between Order business and his job in Diagon Alley. He pushed his thoughts away from that. He was not in love with his job. While he quite liked Flourish and Blotts, he did not find work as a clerk interesting or challenging. Once he'd had a job that was both those things… but that had been taken away from him. He shook his head, tossing the memories more firmly from it. There was no sense pouring salt in old wounds. He focused once more on the page in front of him, when suddenly a burst of light filled the room.

He was on his feet at once, gripping his wand tightly. However, when the light faded all that had changed about the room was the tiny roll of parchment sitting atop a phoenix feather. Remus sprinted over to it at once. So much for a quiet night. The only thing a message could be containing at this hour was news of a Death Eater attack where his assistance was needed. He unfolded the scroll and scanned it, only to do so several more times before he could take it in. There was no news of an attack, no location to Apparate to with dire calls for reinforcements. Instead was a short message: Please come to my office at Hogwarts as soon as you possibly can. –Albus Dumbledore. What could that mean? Why on earth would Dumbledore call him in on Order business so late? He glanced at the clock; it was past eleven. Sudden fear ran through him. What if the Death Eaters had caught Sirius? It was soon, granted, incredibly sooner than he thought it would be. After all, Sirius himself was in hiding. But it wasn't impossible. Without allowing himself further speculation, Remus dropped the note and Disapparated.

He reappeared just outside the Hogwarts gates, hastily giving them the passwords that would make them open for him. Terror filling him, he flat-out sprinted up the drive, checking himself only when he reached the castle doors. Although it took great effort, he managed not to run and risk waking students or teachers once he entered the building. He just hurried through the empty halls that he still knew so well, and along with the other Marauders perhaps better than any students before or since, taking every shortcut. Three minutes later he stood outside the gargoyle that guarded the Headmaster's office and said curtly, "Sugar Quill". The gargoyle moved aside and rather than ride at the pace of the moving staircase, Remus took the stairs two at a time. He pushed the office door open with a cursory knock. Dumbledore was seated behind his desk, looking as grave as Remus had ever seen him. Accordingly, his terror increased exponentially.

"What?" he asked breathlessly, "What is it? Is it Sirius? Has he been-?"

"Sirius Black has not been killed by Death Eaters," Dumbledore said, his voice shaking.

Remus, taking the tremble for grief rather than anger, demanded, "What then? Has he been captured? Injured? Or- or is it- Peter? They wouldn't hesitate to go after him if they thought he could lead them to Sirius…"

"Please sit down, Remus," Dumbledore said calmly. Remus felt far too agitated to sit, but he obeyed anyway because he knew Dumbledore wouldn't tell him what this was all about until he had. The Headmaster surveyed him for a moment, and Remus was even more alarmed to see that his eyes were moist. Whatever he was about to hear, it wasn't good, and he braced himself. When the Headmaster next spoke, it was very quietly. "I wish more than anything in the world I did not have to give you this news, but it is better that you hear it from me than from the Daily Prophet. Remus, James and Lily are dead."

Remus blinked. Of all the things he had been expecting to hear, this had not been it. "That can't be. I'm sorry, sir, your information must be wrong. James and Lily are in hiding; they performed the Fidelius Charm just last week. Sirius is their Secret-Keeper." He frowned. "You know that."

"Yes, I know that Sirius Black was the Potters' Secret-Keeper," Dumbledore said. He paused, and then his voice shook again with barely contained fury, "He revealed their location. He sold them to Voldemort. He was the spy."

Remus' eyes widened. If Dumbledore had not looked so serious, he would have laughed. He still half-expected Sirius to jump out of the shadows and shout, "GOTCHA!". But as that didn't happen and the Headmaster merely continued to look at him, Remus felt he had best explain the error that seemed to have been made. He did not, however, wish to offend the man he respected above all others, so he said cautiously, "Professor Dumbledore, I am certain you must be mistaken. Sirius woud never, never do anything to hurt James and Lily. Sirius and James… we're all brothers, but they're even closer than that. They're… two halves of a whole. Sirius would never betray James. Never. He would die first."

Dumbledore did not look offended. He just sat there, watching Remus with incredible sympathy in his eyes. It was this, more than anything else, that made Remus realize it was true. He quickly turned his head away, refusing to believe it, but Dumbledore spoke again, drawing Remus' gaze to him, "I will not insult you by saying I know how much this hurts. There is no other possible explanation. Sirius Black was the Potters' Secret-Keeper; only he could have revealed their location. I was at Godric's Hollow an hour ago; I had Order members stationed there to alert me to anything unusual, just in case. James and Lily are dead. Sirius Black is a traitor."

All the color drained from Remus' face. He looked at the floor. This time, he could not deny the evidence. He knew that Dumbledore would not lie about something like this, that he would not cause unnecessary pain. He was gripping the arms of his chair so hard that he could no longer feel his white hands. In fact, he couldn't feel anything at all anymore. He might have been floating; he could see himself as if he were outside his body, standing somewhere in the room. He heard himself whisper hoarsely, "They're all gone… All of them…"

"No," Dumbledore corrected softly, "I said that James and Lily are dead. Harry survived."

Remus looked up, eyes wide once again. "What do you mean? How could Harry survive? He's just a baby." He knew about the prophecy, of course. Enough to know that it was the reason Harry, James and Lily had been in such danger, anyway. Something about Harry possibly being the one to vanquish Voldemort…

"It is a very ancient magic, to which I am sure Voldemort gave no thought. He survived because Lily died to save him. It protected him from the full brunt of the Killing Curse. He defeated Voldemort."

"What?" Remus wasn't sure how many more shocks he could take. "Voldemort's dead?"

"No. No, he is not quite dead," Dumbledore said slowly, "He is out there somewhere, I am sure of it. But his powers have been shattered, and he was ripped from his body. Suffice it to say that, for now, he is no threat. News has spread quickly. Much of our world is celebrating his downfall as we speak."

Remus didn't respond to that. He felt no thrill of joy to know that Voldemort was gone. He did not even feel relief. He did, however, feel a stirring of disgust. How could people be celebrating at a time like this? Did they not care that James and Lily Potter, two of the best people he had ever known, were dead? Did they not care that Harry was an orphan? Remus' thoughts stopped there. Harry was an orphan. Harry was alive. His gaze snapped to Dumbledore's again. Without preamble, he said, "I'll take him. I'll take Harry. I will raise him as James would have. They don't have any family left alive and Sirius is-," Remus stopped. He could not bring himself to say 'a traitor'. "-incapable of fulfilling his role as godfather. I will take that place. James would have wanted it." He held no hesitation in that fact.

"No. I am afraid I cannot let you do that."

"Why?" Remus cried, "Because I'm a werewolf?" He managed to register how irrational it was to be saying this to Albus Dumbledore of all people, but in his vulnerable state his mind went straight to his greatest fear. So many other things had been taken from him simply because of what he was.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows ever so slightly, but replied calmly, "No. Your condition has nothing to do with it. I am sure you would raise Harry admirably. However, I must also consider his safety. Voldemort may not be a threat at the moment, but his followers are and you can be sure they will want revenge. I have sent Harry to live with Lily's sister, Petunia."

"What? You're sending Harry to live with Muggles? Lily and her sister hated each other; Petunia hates magic. She won't tell him anything of our world. How do you know she won't just throw him out? She certainly won't love him- not like I would!"

"She will not throw him out; I have made sure of that," Dumbledore said grimly, "As to whether or not she will love him remains to be seen. Even if she tells him nothing of our world, he will still get his letter and come here when he is eleven, just as any Muggle-born would. Remus, you must understand, as much as I would like to give Harry to you, I must do what is best for him," he explained, "By dying for him, Lily made sure protection lingered in his very blood. I have finished the charm for her. By placing him with his mother's blood, I have ensured that while he can call her house home, Voldemort and the Death Eaters will not be able to harm him there. The charm will last until he is of age. I know that James would have liked you to raise his son in his place, but I need to make sure he gets to Hogwarts alive, and James would want that even more."

Remus nodded, and hung his head. He knew Dumbledore was right, but it was like Harry being dead all over again. Living with Muggles like that, Remus would never even be allowed to visit. He fought very hard against the tears welling up inside of him. He knew that if he started crying now, he would never leave Dumbledore's office. To have lost James and Sirius in one night… that left only him and- "Sir? Where's Peter? Have you told him this already?"

Dumbledore's eyes gleamed overbright once again. "Remus, I am very sorry, but-"

"No. No, no, no, no, no. This isn't happening. You're not going to tell me that-"

"Yes. Peter is dead. Apparently, he heard of Black's betrayal. He hunted him down and tried to duel him. Of course, Black is the much stronger wizard. He performed a curse that killed Peter and twelve Muggles nearby. Black is now in the custody of the dementors at Azkaban."

"No. Peter, how could you? You were always hopeless at dueling… you knew you were no match for Sirius…" Remus was shaking very badly now. If he didn't get out of this office soon, he might hear more bad news and he couldn't take that. "May… may I go, sir?"

Dumbledore hesitated. "Are you going to be all right alone? You could go to the Hospital Wing… Madam Pomfrey would give you a potion for dreamless sleep… you've been through quite a lot in a very short period of time…"

"No." Remus could not go to sleep, only to wake up and remember. He wasn't sure if he'd ever sleep again, but right now he knew beyond a doubt that he had to be alone. "I'm fine, sir."

"You are not." Dumbledore's penetrating gaze pierced him for a long moment before he nodded slightly. "But you will be, in time. Very well, you may go. Please use my fire to Floo home. I do not want you Apparating in your state. And… my door is always open to you, Remus Lupin."

Remus nodded, then stumbled over to the fireplace. He grabbed a handful of powder from the jar beside it and stepped into the flames, shouting his address. He had no sooner touched down in his own fire than he crossed the room and collapsed onto the couch, not even bothering to brush the soot from his robes. He had barely hit the cushions before the storm within him burst. He pulled himself into the corner, head on his knees, sobbing. He was sure he would never be able to stop. He felt as though he had been internally shattered. Unconsciously, he rocked himself back and forth, taking gulps of air in between his sobs. These had not been the first deaths he'd seen at Voldemort's hand. He knew what war was like. He knew all about casualties- his own mother had been among them, as had James' parents. Too many friends had given their lives for this cause. Throughout all of it, though- the pain, the anger, the fear- there had been the four of them. Sirius, James, Peter, and himself. Lily had been welcomed into the fold (with a certain relief that they no longer had to listen to James' plots about how to get her to date him), as had Sirius' girlfriend Christina, but most important had been the four of them. They had never spent longer than a month without seeing each other, including holidays, since they were eleven. They were there to celebrate each other's triumphs- Remus was sure one of the happiest days of his life had been James' and Lily's wedding day. They had been there to hold each other up during the hard times; Remus would never forget the way they had faithfully tended him following every full moon since his mother's death. And when Voldemort or his Death Eaters struck, they had been there to pick up the pieces and put each other back together in the weeks following whosever funeral they'd had to attend.

But who would pick up his pieces this time?

A/N: So there it is. Bit of a short opening chapter, I know, but I wanted to give that first night its own. Reviews are always appreciated and responded to.