Fade To Nothing

By: Kadi

Rated: T

Disclaimer: It's not my sandbox… but maybe I should stage a coup and take over. Like I tell the kids, if you're going to break the toys on purpose, you can't have them to play with.

A/N: I did my own research. This research did not just include google, but I happen to actually know some real doctors. The Flu can lead to a form of inflammatory cardiomyopathy, more commonly known as acute myocarditis. The prognosis in healthy individuals is actually very good. There is no reason at all that Sharon would have gotten so sick, so quickly, or died within weeks of her diagnosis…. But then, we already knew that.

That's okay. I fixed it.

Warning: Character Death, but not that character.

This was rather cathartic for me. Some of you will like it. Some of you will hate it. This was a form of fanfic therapy for me. I will go back to "Edge" when this is done. I haven't been able to focus on that … mainly because I was RL busy leading in to fall, and especially the holidays, but a good deal of it was anxiety. I think a great many of us suspected as early as August that we would have this ending. We knew, deep in our bones, we knew that Sharon was going to die.

I tried to talk myself out of it. I tried, very hard, to convince myself that I was only being fatalistic and paranoid. The evidence was there, however. I even managed to predict that they'd kill Emma too. I really hoped that I would be wrong about Sharon. I didn't want to be anxious about the season. I didn't want it to hurry up and be over so that I would just know.

Then it happened. Like many of you, I am mad. Freaking furious, in fact, for so many reasons that I won't get into here. It goes well beyond the death of a beloved character, and that is all that I will say.

Anyway, before you fire up your flames, keep in mind that I was quite vocal about the ensemble side of things. It was not the Sharon show. It was not the Shandy Show. It was not #MajorSuspenders either (and why the hell not? I would have been down for that!).

You will know by the end of this chapter if you want to continue or not. If you don't, I understand. If you do, bear with me. This one really hurts. Not as much as watching the show did, but it hurts. At least, it did for me.

Thank you to the twin kate04 for listening to my paranoia in all those weeks leading up to 609, and for being the sounding board for this idea. My sassy beta NarcissaNerea swept this for errors and good sense, and I love her for it. I think I got them all, but as my darling twin would say, if you find any spare errors, they are yours to keep with my blessing!

Much love everyone.

~Kadi

Chapter 1

After two weeks spent traveling, sleeping in hotels and inns, and one beautiful seaside cottage, Sharon and Andy were happy to be home. Ireland was absolutely breathtaking, and they had fully enjoyed every moment of their honeymoon, but no matter how peaceful and wonderful their time away was, they could not exist in that bubble forever.

Andy would have liked to. With everything that had happened before the wedding, with Sharon's collapse and the subsequent cardiomyopathy diagnosis, Andy would have liked nothing more than to keep his wife far from the stress that they would be returning to once they were back at work. That wasn't Sharon, though, and as much as he wanted to protect her, he also wanted her to be happy. She wouldn't be happy with him trying to shield her, and eventually she would resent him. That was something that he knew only too well.

They had their share of arguments during his health crisis the previous year. Sharon had perfected the art of hovering, and while he had appreciated it, especially when he had been recovering from his little dust up with the car and his blood clot, it had gotten old quick following his heart attack. He was being brutally honest when he told Sharon that no one had ever cared for him as well as she had, but he didn't want to be taken care of anymore than she did. With that thought in mind, Andy was trying to refrain from coddling her.

It helped that she had gotten a second opinion and more specific testing from the cardiologist that her primary care doctor had referred her to. Doctor Torres came highly recommended and they had done their own research into his qualifications and reputation. It helped that Sharon's doctor knew him. Torres had a two-month waiting list, but they had been fast tracked. They were in his office within days of the wedding. He had looked over all of the results sent over from the hospital, and followed up with Sharon's doctor. Then he scrapped it all and performed his own tests.

Sharon was irritated by that. She didn't want to take the time; it seemed her life was being taken over by doctors appointments, lab visits for blood work and follow-up, scans, and even a cardiac biopsy. It was only Ricky reminding her of what had happened when Andy ignored his own heart symptoms, and Emily refusing to go home until she agreed, that finally convinced her to take the two days off work for the testing.

In the end, Torres confirmed the findings of the cardiology attending at Good Samaritan, the hospital paramedics had transported Sharon to following her collapse. The flu virus that Sharon had found so difficult to recover from had led to a case of viral myocarditis. What Doctor Torres had not agreed on were the medications that the other doctor had prescribed. He adjusted her medications and refused to sign a return to work order. He wanted to monitor his new patient, to be certain that her condition was improving before allowing her to return to a high stress environment.

To say that Sharon was displeased was an understatement. Andy had taken the brunt of it, but she had agreed. The one thing Sharon could never argue with, even when she didn't like it, was logic. Doctor Torres was quite blunt about it, too. She could go back to work and die, or she could take the time off and live. It was really up to her, and in the end, Andy had breathed a huge sigh of relief when she agreed that her life was more important than her job.

That didn't mean that she was completely inactive. She had a new diet, a new exercise regimen, and being unable to go into the office didn't stop her from following the progress of their investigations. Andy knew better than to try and keep the details of their cases away from her. He also remembered how that felt, being relegated to medical leave, and feeling shut out. He still struggled with it, being the division's dedicated desk monkey. He kept her apprised, and while she couldn't actively work with them, the fact that her heart was impacted by her illness had done nothing to her mind. Sharon was as invaluable to them on medical leave as she was when she was leading them.

Sharon was anxious to return to work, though. The eight weeks of medical leave were mandatory, according to Torres. He was treating it as though she had a heart attack. As he explained it, much of the damage to her heart was the same; the only problem was that the virus's effect had been prolonged. Sharon could recover. She could live a long and fulfilled life. She just had to give her heart the chance to get stronger again.

Since she couldn't work, Andy wondered if there was any reason to continue postponing their honeymoon. She was certainly feeling better, and at her three-week checkup with Dr. Torres, he seemed to think that she was improving. Andy decided to put the idea out there. If Sharon didn't want to sit at home, doing a whole lot of nothing, why couldn't they go to Ireland?

Torres was concerned that a week traveling abroad would be too hard on her system. Before Andy could deflate, he suggested that if they extended their trip, and made sure they didn't venture too far away from medical care, just in case it was needed, he didn't see why they couldn't take their honeymoon trip. Sharon would need to keep up with her medications, and they couldn't allow her to tire herself out, but the trip wasn't entirely out of the question. He added a few more restrictions; there would be no hiking or an extreme amount of stairs, and he wanted her back in his office as soon as they returned, but he gave them his approval.

That was how their weeklong trip to Ireland had been extended to two. Andy almost expected Sharon to balk at the idea, but she had the opposite reaction. They would spend a little more time relaxing, and trade castle exploration for a trip to a few museums, but she was happy to go.

It wasn't all they had done while they were in Ireland, and just the opportunity to lie with his wife in his arms, with no chance of the phone ringing or having their time together interrupted by their children, their jobs, or any other outside forces was enough for Andy. He would willingly take her back, take her anywhere she wanted to go, for those hours of peace, and for the chance to watch all of their worries melt away and pure joy to light her eyes.

For now, they were home. They had spent twelve hours traveling and Andy wanted a hot shower and his own bed. He grunted as he maneuvered their luggage into the condo's lobby while Sharon held the door for him. His wife could not pack light if her life depended on it, and he was sure that half of her shoes had ended up in his bag. He also knew that they had brought back far more than they had taken with them. He shook his head while she laughed at him.

"These wouldn't be so heavy if you hadn't insisted on bringing three pairs of boots," he grumbled, but his tone lacked heat and held a lot of affection.

"Hm." Sharon's lips pursed. She followed him in to the lobby with a smile. "They wouldn't be so heavy if you hadn't insisted on packing the books you bought me, instead of shipping them home," she reminded him.

He cut a look at her. His lip curled, and when the corners of her eyes crinkled in amusement, Andy rolled his eyes at her. "It was cheaper just to bring them back. I wasn't going to pay that to ship a couple of books across the Atlantic. It was nuts!"

"Six." Sharon sauntered past him toward the security desk. "It's six books, Andy, not a couple. The shipping fee was expensive but not outrageous. We're home now, and unless the elevator is suddenly out of service, I think you'll be okay with those bags." He was only allowing her to carry her purse and small carryon. Sharon smiled brightly at the security guard stationed at the desk. The condo association made sure that the desk was occupied around the clock. They were really glorified doormen, and women, but it was nice to have someone monitoring deliveries and making sure that the security cameras at the entrance and in the parking garage were always working. "Hi Danny, do we have any deliveries to pick up?"

The security guard had risen when they approached. He smiled back at them. "Rusty has been picking up your mail," he nodded to the wall of post boxes behind them. "This came for you this morning." He opened a cabinet beneath the desk and pulled out a small, flat box. "Sharon Flynn, unit 1109."

Sharon's brow rose. She turned the box toward her and read the return address. Her eyes narrowed. The package had come from a shop that she liked, but she hadn't ordered anything recently. She turned and cast a look at her husband. His wide, sarcastic grin gave him away. "That," she pointed a finger at him, "is still under discussion, Andrew."

"Oh come on." He stood behind her, the bags at his feet. Andy spread his arms wide. "Just how long are we going to discuss this? It's been more than a month since the wedding. We spent six months planning the wedding, and you still haven't made up your mind?" He rolled his eyes heavenward and groaned. "I don't believe this."

"Says the one who doesn't have to fill out all the paperwork." Sharon flashed another smile at Danny as she picked up the box. He was laughing at them again. She supposed they must be quite amusing to him. This was an argument he had heard before. Sharon turned and made her way toward the elevator. "We won't even discuss the number of forms required for work, because more than one Flynn in our division is way too much if you ask me." The corners of her mouth were twitching toward a smile as she heard him grunt and the sound of the wheels of their bags moving across the lobby's tiled floor. "I have to change my license, my social security card, my passport. The bank won't change my name on our accounts. We'll have to go down in person with a copy of the marriage license and open new ones, oh, and I don't even want to think about all the hoops that I have to jump through for the mortgage company to get everything changed on that." She stopped at the elevator and turned, her head inclining while he caught up with her. When he did, Sharon reached out and hit the button to bring the elevator car back to the lobby. "I don't remember there being so much paperwork to deal with when I got married the first time. All you had to do is sign a marriage license," she told him, "I've got to practically reorganize my entire life. If I had realized that it was going to be this complicated…" She watched his eyes narrow and her smile blossomed brighter. Sharon leaned toward him. "I would still have gone through with it," she drawled, and reached out to run her hand down his chest, where his tie would have been if he was wearing one. The pale blue cashmere of his sweater was soft against her fingers. She tipped her face up and kissed the tip of his chin. "That doesn't mean that I am changing my name." She leaned away from him, chuckling when he rolled his eyes at her again. "At least not right now."

Andy sighed. He supposed she had a point. It was a lot to take care of, and she had only scratched the surface. There were credit cards to change, utilities, brokerage accounts. He did have the easy end of the deal. "Yeah, alright. I guess we do have a lot going on right now." His eyes narrowed. "Doesn't mean we will always have all that going on."

"No." The elevator opened for them and Sharon stepped inside; she held the button to keep the doors open while he joined her. "We won't always have this much going on in our lives." It was the only concession that she could give him. It was hard giving up a name that had been part of her identity for more than half her life, and certainly for longer than she had known him. That didn't mean that she was unwilling. She had promised herself to him in front of their friends, their family, and their God. Changing her name was a minor consideration, but she knew that it was important to him. She also understood why. If Jack had passed away, or behaved in a less contemptuous manner, she didn't think Andy would really have a problem with her taking so long to make up her mind about taking his name. There was also the fact that, as traditional as she was about many things, so was he. She had no problem changing her name when she married the first time, and that marriage had been annulled so that she could marry Andy in as traditional a way as possible. It was only natural that he would want her to take his name. Honestly, she wasn't completely opposed to the idea. She just wasn't ready yet.

He seemed to sense the shift in her thoughts. Andy left their bags standing in the back of the elevator and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "I know, babe," his voice rumbled quietly against her ear. "You just aren't there yet." He kissed the side of her head and settled his chin against her shoulder. "It'll all settle down soon." There had just been too many things thrown at her lately. First all of the drama with the church, thanks to that St. Joseph's Three case, and then just when they thought she was finally getting over the flu, they found out they were wrong. Getting diagnosed with a heart condition, on top of the wedding, her promotion, and the changes going on in the department, it was no wonder she didn't feel like surrendering anything else. She was going to have to see Torres again in a few days, and she promised him that she was feeling as rested as she looked, but living with this heart condition was an even bigger change than getting married had been. He knew how that felt. He understood it all. Andy told himself that he would try to be more patient.

"Hm." She hummed as she leaned back in his arms. Sharon laid hers over his and turned her face toward him. She rubbed her forehead against his cheek and let her eyes close. "It will," she agreed. "I really believe that. We are going to be okay." She was really grateful that he had talked her out of postponing the wedding. She needed this. Oh, she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, and had for decades. She wanted him in her life. She wanted him holding her, telling her that everything would be okay, that he was here to help her carry all of her burdens, even though she could carry them herself. It made it all feel so much lighter to know that she was so well loved. She could lean against him, if she felt that she needed to, even if that only meant having him hold her as he was now.

"Yeah." Andy kissed her shoulder, where her sweater had slipped, revealing smooth, pale skin. He straightened as the elevator neared their floor, but rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "We should talk to your doctor about that diet. You're losing too much weight."

Her lips curved. She chuckled quietly. "I'm not going to complain about losing a few pounds." Her diet hadn't honestly changed that much. She maintained a healthy lifestyle anyway, but she had already made several changes the year before when he had the heart attack. The difference now was only that she was eating on a more regular schedule since she wasn't working. There were no quick meals between suspect interviews, no late night takeout when they finally managed to drag themselves home. The last two weeks had been good for both of them. While they were tired from traveling, she felt better than she had in a while. She knew that Andy did too. He was looking much better. Gone was the drawn, worried expression that he had been wearing for the last month. He was relaxed and happy, and his blood pressure hadn't spiked even once since they had been away. Well, maybe once or twice. She smirked to herself as she recalled the reason for that. Sharon resolved to keep him this healthy and relaxed. Hers wasn't the only heart they had to worry about. There was humor sparkling in her eyes when she looked up at him. "Maybe we should see if Doctor Torres would be willing to take you on too." Her brow arched. "Perhaps we could get a family discount."

Andy gave her a bland look. She had to be feeling better if she was making jokes about it. "You're not funny."

"Oh, I think I am." The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. Sharon held them while he moved past her with their bags. She adjusted her purse and the carryon, while juggling the package, and dug out her keys. "That was a little funny. Think about it. We have excellent insurance, and if we can get him to see us at the same time, we'll cut down on the cost of the office visit. At the very least we would always know that time was put aside for us to spend together."

He glowered at her as she walked past him and led the way down the hall. "And yet, still not funny, Sharon."

"Yes." She laughed at him. "It was." She was still smiling as she unlocked the door and pushed it open. Sharon moved into the condo ahead of him. She dropped her keys in the bowl on the table near the door and took a deep breath. It was really good to be home. "Rusty," she called out for her son. "Are you here?" She hummed quietly when there was no response and hung her purse in the closet. She waited for Andy to maneuver the bags into the condo before she closed the door. "Just leave them there for now," she told him, when he parked the bags near the end of the hall. She placed her carryon on her suitcase and smiled up at him. "Home sweet home."

"Thank god." He cupped her face and pressed a light kiss to her lips.

"Mmhm." She curled her hands around his wrists. Sharon smiled against his lips. "How about some tea? We'll rest for a little while, and then we can deal with the unpacking."

Andy groaned again. "That is always the worst part." He kissed her again before he turned away. Andy shrugged out of his jacket and placed it on the rack near the door. He helped Sharon out of hers and watched her walk in to the kitchen. He moved closer to the hall. The condo was dark, but Sharon was turning on lamps as she moved to the kitchen. "Hey kid," he called down the hall, his voice echoing louder than Sharon's, "you here?"

"I'll send him a text," Sharon said. "They must have caught a case. I guess Andrea needed him today." When they had spoken to him the previous afternoon, he was planning to meet them at the condo. They had planned on arranging a car from the airport, so that no one would have to deal with that traffic or be stuck waiting on them if their flight was delayed for any reason.

"Yeah." Andy shook his head. He rolled his shoulders and turned to hang up Sharon's jacket. He couldn't imagine what case would be complicated enough that Hobbs would call Rusty in the same day they were getting home. "I guess he's turning out more like you than we thought. First law school, and the next thing we know, his plan to practice family law is gonna be tossed out the window. He'll end up in the DA's office, or worse, working for the city attorney."

Sharon laughed as he grumbled. "There are worse things that he could be than a lawyer," she reminded him. "Before you answer, I'd like to remind you that I was going to go to law school."

Andy snorted at her. "Sure, Sharon, we'll go with that." He could never see her as a lawyer, and had told her as much in the past. She was the smartest person he knew, but she believed in the law far too much to have ever been very happy being a lawyer. "Name one thing that's worse than being a lawyer," he said instead.

"Grumpy police detective," she shot back with a grin. She decided to forgo the tea and made coffee instead. While it was percolating, she sent Rusty a text to let him know that they were home.

"My wife is a damn comedian," he muttered. Andy shoved his hands into his pockets while he moved around the condo. The mail was on the desk, along with a couple of other packages that had arrived while they were on their honeymoon. He flipped through the envelopes but didn't see anything that would require their immediate attention. His lip curled at the sight of another damn medical bill. He put that in the inbox where Sharon kept the bills to be reviewed and dropped the rest of the mail back onto the desk. He rolled his shoulders again.

As glad as he was to get home, there was something a little unsettling about it too. He wondered if it was just because they had been away for so long. Andy huffed a sigh. His gaze was drawn back toward the hall. "I'm going to take the bags to our room," he told her. Maybe if he got them out of his sight he would be able to relax more. If he didn't have to think about unpacking later, he could trick himself into believing it was already done. Out of sight, out of mind.

"Just put them by the closet," Sharon said. "I'm making coffee instead. Are you hungry?"

"Not right now. Figure out when the kid will be back. We can have him pick something up on his way home." Andy didn't particularly feel like cooking and he was sure that Sharon didn't either. He lifted the strap of her carryon bag over his shoulder before taking the handles of their suitcases and pushing her bag down the hall while he pulled his along behind him. Andy managed to only trip over the damn things once as he carried them into their room. He took a couple of minutes, after leaving the bags, to step into the bathroom. When he moved into the hall, he felt it again, the unease that was causing the muscles between his shoulder blades to tense.

A frown drew his brows together. Andy stepped across the hall and stopped in front of Rusty's closed bedroom door. His jaw clenched. The kid usually left it open when he wasn't home. There was something else, something on the air. It was something that Andy knew entirely too well. He felt that tension settle across his shoulders before it moved through him. The tips of his fingers itched as he reached out to twist the doorknob.

The change in his breathing was instinctual, like balancing when taking a step. It was something he did automatically after being a cop for more than thirty years. Andy kept his touch light; he didn't want to disturb anything. He pushed the bedroom door inward and pivoted. "Hey kid." Just in case he was wrong, he called out again, more quietly this time. "You around?"

There was no answer. Of course there wouldn't be. Andy's jaw clenched again. His teeth ground together. With the door open, what he had only sensed hit him full force. It was death, and it had come for them.

On the wall behind the bed, a note had been left for them. It was written in marker. There would be no question as to what had happened.

"I don't leave any witnesses. The mother is next."

He had located Rusty, but the kid couldn't respond. He lay, lifeless, face gray, eyes open and clouded, staring at the ceiling of his room. Andy's fists clenched, but before he could do more than take a cursory look at the room, he heard his wife call out to him down the hall. He stepped back and looked toward the sound of her voice. She was walking toward him, her phone in her hand and a smile on her face.

"Well, Rusty didn't bother to answer me," Sharon told him. "So I called Andrea. He isn't with her. She assured me that she gave him today off. I hope he didn't go to the airport. You did tell him that we were taking a Lyft home, didn't you?"

"Yeah." Somehow he managed to force enough air into his lungs to get the sound out. Andy walked toward her. His heart was pounding a rhythm in his chest. He was surprised she couldn't hear it. It was certainly loud enough as it echoed in his ears. "Come on." He held his arms out to keep her from moving further down the hall.

"I suppose he could have gone out to pick up dinner, or groceries. You should see how empty the refrigerator and pantry are. Someone would think an army had eaten here while we were gone, not a single twenty-one-year-old boy. Although it's possible he had company," she continued. "We were gone for two weeks. I hope it wasn't Gus." Her nose wrinkled. Sharon took a step back when Andy crowded her personal space. "I'd like to think he was staying firm on—" She stopped talking and frowned at him. He seemed very off all of a sudden. The relaxed, happy glow appeared to have faded. His eyes had gone serious, and when she looked at him a little more closely, she realized that he had gone ashen. Sweat was glistening on his upper lip. "Andy, what is it?" She laid a hand against his chest, and let it slide upward to the crook of his neck. His heart was beating a mile a minute. "Are you in pain?" They had been so worried about her these past few weeks; she hoped the stress hadn't been too much for him.

"No." He said it a little too abruptly, and felt badly about that. "Sharon, I'm fine. We should just go back out into the other room." Andy placed his hands against her shoulders and tried to turn her. It might be foolish on his part, but he didn't want her to see that. Not if he could help it.

"You don't look fine." She resisted as he tried to turn her. "Andy, you don't look well. Do you need your pills? What…" She stopped moving. She stopped talking. She felt his hands grip her shoulders harder. The air at this end of the condo felt thick. It was stifled and musty. Sharon took another breath and felt her stomach turn. The bitter, metallic smell of blood was wafting toward them. Her eyes moved past his shoulder to the open door at the end of the hall. Sharon stared at it. Her heart skipped a beat, and then a second. Slowly her eyes lifted. She met her husband's gaze. It was the sorrow in his dark eyes that made her shove him away from her. "Rusty!"

She tried to walk around him, but Andy wrapped an arm around her waist. "Sharon, you can't go in there." It was on the tip of his tongue to remind her that it was a crime scene, but he couldn't bring himself to actually form the words. He drew her back, managed to move a single step before she was fighting him.

"Let go of me." Her voice pitched low. It would chill a lesser man. It was the tone she used on suspects and recalcitrant officers. Sharon pulled at his arms. He had a firm grip on her waist, though. He was pulling her back, even as she tried to throw her weight away from him. "Dammit, Andy. Let go!"

Her nails bit in to his hands. He dodged her feet when she tried to stomp on his instep. "Not on your life, babe." He wrapped his other arm around her torso and held her tightly against his chest. "We can't go in there, Sharon." His chest clenched. There was an ache in his throat, making it hard to breathe and even harder to speak. Andy turned his face into her hair. "He's gone, sweetheart," his voice hitched as he forced the words out, "you can't help him now."

"No." She stubbornly refused to accept that. Sharon continued to struggle. "Let me… Rusty!" Her knees buckled. Somewhere in the back of her minds he knew that Andy wouldn't keep her away if there was any hope at all. "No. Rusty!"

Andy knew the memory of seeing Rusty's lifeless body would stay with him for the rest of his days, but it was the sound of his wife's anguished, desperate screams that would haunt him forever.

-TBC-