Title: I Wanna Hold Your Hand
Spoilers: Through the 6-24-02 episode, Consectatio.
Author: The Mad Fangirl
Archive: Wherever, but let me know.
Disclaimer: The characters herein are owned by other people and I make no money from their shameless exploitation. Author's Note: My evil hand made me do it.
* * *
I Wanna Hold Your Hand
by The Mad Fangirl
* * *
Just outside the Gotham that is New York City sits a mansion with a metal gate between thick, earthen walls. Within that mansion, in a half-lit study, upon an oaken table, sits a severed hand floating in a crystal vase. A living hand caresses the outside of the vase, slowly mirroring the other hand's position. Then it pulls away to hover at the vase top...
"He's going for it!"
"Oh hell! Grab him!"
Ian 3.0 found himself tackled and borne to the floor by his Season 1 brothers, the original Ian and his psychotic clone. Ian 2.0 smiled (but then, he always smiled,) and crouched on his latter's chest while Ian the First stood and shook his head slowly.
"Brother, what is Rule Number One?"
"A living man is..."
"Not Father's rules! What is our Rule Number One?"
"My middle brother always gets the black jelly beans."
"No, that's Rule Number Two. Rule Number One or we take turns sitting on you until the cows come home."
A shudder passed through the third Nottingham as he took a deep, cleansing breath. "We DO NOT, ever, under any circumstances, touch the hand in the jar."
Ian 2.0 rolled fluidly to his feet. "Very good." Ian 1, meanwhile, re- wound the barbed wire around that section of table and replaced the yellow caution tape. He shook his head and sighed.
"We're going to have to get a laser cage."
"I'm sorry, I know it's bad for me, I just...."
"It's all right," the eldest said. "We've all got the same self- destructive tendencies."
"I don't," 2.0 grinned.
"Oh, says the one who managed to live, what, five hours before getting himself run through?"
"That was not my fault!"
"Man, I hope my kid doesn't start blaming his parents for everything," came a voice from the doorway. Ian 3 looked at his brothers quizzically and then turned the same expression on the newly arrived Danny Woo.
"We sent for a little help," Ian One explained.
"Why him? Why not Gabriel?" Three asked.
"They thought the Wise Asian Master might know more about ghosts, spirits, and possession." Danny sighed. "'Sokay, I'm used to it. Besides, as it happens, they're sorta right."
"Well, that, and my happy brother here really likes to kill that kid. I never got that, you know. Difficult is fun, dead...?"
"Do I criticize your hobbies?"
"Hey, little attention here?" Danny said. "I'm doing you guys a favor. You all still owe me big time. You," he said, pointing to Ian 1, "got me killed. You," to Three, "buried me alive. And you..." he stared at 2.0, his voice trailing away in the face of that psychotic smile. "... I'll think of something."
"So, you said you had something for us?"
"Yeah. Okay, I don't remember a whole lot about last year...this year...whatever, but I do remember a little bit of the ghost grapevine, and this name came up more than once." He pulled out a newspaper ad and spread it flat on an empty display stand. "I called them, and they should be here any..."
"Knock knock," drawled an unfamiliar voice. "Little ghosties wanna come out and play with Uncle Peter?"
"There's definitely something here," added another, a rich baritone. "More than one something."
"Wow! I've never seen readings like that before! This is cool!"
"Heads up, guys," said a fourth. "I think we're there."
Entering the room were four men dressed in variously colored jumpsuits. The first who'd spoken was a brunette who regarded everyone with a sarcastic smirk. The second was a blonde with an improbably high pompadour, the third a slightly chubby redhead who grinned and bounced on his toes, and the fourth a black man who held his ray gun with the ease of a soldier. They all carried the strange back-mounted weapons, but the redhead had his holstered, holding what looked like a Geiger counter instead.
As one, each Ian stared, and as one, they said, "What the...?"
"Guys, I *think* that these are the Ghostbusters," Danny said.
"Well, of course we're the Ghostbusters," the brunette said, grinning and shaking his hand. "Peter Venkman. Always happy to take a contract from such an esteemed organization as Vorschlaag industries. Although, y'know, strictly speaking, a retainer is more economical in the long run. I've got a fee schedule right here..."
"Back away, Peter," said the deep-voiced blonde.
"C'mon, Egon, let me work, willya?"
"Peter, I'm getting very odd readings from that man. They seem to indicate..."
"Oh, whoa! Is this the possessee?" He jumped back and leveled his gun at Danny.
"Hey! I'm the one that called you guys." One Nottingham fingered his katana, and another held his arm.
"Look, long story short, I was a ghost for a while and now I'm not, okay? Don't ask me about it, I really don't remember much."
"That would be consistent with this PKE signature...although I really would like the details of your resurrection...absolutely fascinating stuff..." the blonde trailed off.
"You and me both," Danny sighed.
"Wow, you were on the other side? What was it like? Was there a light? What- "
"Down, Ray," the black man said fondly. "You'll have to excuse these guys. They get kind of excited."
"I resemble that remark, Winston." The new arrivals turned to a clearing throat, and were confronted with the three near-identical brothers Nottingham in all their dangerous glory.
"Whoa. Ray?" Peter muttered,
"Yeah Peter?"
"Remember last week when I wished I'd run into three really attractive triplets?"
"Uh huh?"
"This was not at all what I had in mind."
"You called the Ghostbusters?" Ian 1 asked, looking over them to Danny Woo.
"Yeah. Their ad said they could treat spectral possession, so I figured we could give it a try."
"Hmm...very interesting..." the blonde, Egon, said, his meter out and scanning, its antennae fluctuating back and forth. "I *am* picking up traces of an overlay...here..." He walked up to Ian 3, the meter beeping loudly as he ran it across him. "It seems to match that other strange reading we picked up out in the hall... coming from over...here..." and Egon ran straight into yellow caution tape, which caused him to pause. It was a good thing, because the barbed wire was next. "Ah." The meter beeped even louder as he aimed it at Kenneth Irons' severed hand.
"Bravo! Give the man a hand," Peter said.
"Can I kill him?" murmured Ian 2.
"No."
"You never let me have any fun."
"Hmm..." Egon murmured, then, "Yes. I believe we can help...now that we have the PKE signature of this item, we'll likely be able to separate it out from his using our throwers, should the possession occur again. Although I really should advise against keeping such a dangerous object here, even if it is under guard. It's likely a link to a dangerous and powerful personality."
"You don't know the half of it."
"We really oughta get a baseline of one of you two guys, though," Ray said, smiling happily back at Ian 2.0, either immune to or oblivious to his menace. "You're his brothers, right?"
"Well, temporal duplicates, technically," said Ian 1.
"Really!" said Egon, his eyes lighting up. "We should definitely discuss this further."
"Um, Egon, when the PKE meter starts shaking, that's generally bad, right?"
"Yes, Peter, it usually means something extremely powerful is coming, why do you...oh." His meter trembled in his hand. The beeping became louder and louder as a brown-haired woman walked in the door.
"Hey, partner, am I early? What the?" A blonde man pointed what looked like a mutant Geiger counter at Sara's Witchblade wrist. The beeping it emitted became one long, continuous wail.
"Ditch it, Egon!"
The blonde tossed the meter into the fireplace, where it exploded.
"Okay," commented a black man from near the table, "Now *that's* powerful." He and his jump-suited friends had their weapons out and fixed on her. The Witchblade expanded and became a gauntlet, held in defense.
"Oh!" exclaimed a redhead. "Guys, you can put the throwers down. That's the Digitabulum Magae!"
"The Digitabulum? Ray, are you certain?"
"The who now?"
"It's an artifact of great power," Ray said, as excited as he'd been since they got there. "But it's not evil."
"It isn't necessarily good, either," Egon murmured.
"Hey, you're the Ghostbusters, right?"
Peter clasped his hand over his heart. "She recognizes us! I'm in love!" And behind him an Ian growled.
"Detective Sara Pezzini," she said, holding out a hand.
"Peter Venkman," he said, taking her arm and bowing, relatively unaware that he simultaneously took his life in his hands. "*Doctor* Peter Venkman."
"Charmed," she said, giving him her quirked, ironic grin.
"Um, I hate to interrupt," said Danny, pointing, "But that can't be a good thing, right?"
Unnoticed in the commotion, the clean-shaven, smiling Ian 2.0 had climbed onto the table, avoiding the barbed wire. He now trailed his fingers in the vase with the hand.
"Brother?" Ian 1 asked uncertainly, putting an arm out to back everyone away. Bracketing them, Ian 3 did likewise.
The sinister grin only widened. Rising from his crouch, Ian 2.0 leaned his head back and gave a full-throated evil laugh. "Daddy's home!"
Ian 1 and Ian 3 pulled their swords, and the Ghostbusters shouldered their throwers.
"This is bad," Egon said. "Very bad."
* * *
TMF
Spoilers: Through the 6-24-02 episode, Consectatio.
Author: The Mad Fangirl
Archive: Wherever, but let me know.
Disclaimer: The characters herein are owned by other people and I make no money from their shameless exploitation. Author's Note: My evil hand made me do it.
* * *
I Wanna Hold Your Hand
by The Mad Fangirl
* * *
Just outside the Gotham that is New York City sits a mansion with a metal gate between thick, earthen walls. Within that mansion, in a half-lit study, upon an oaken table, sits a severed hand floating in a crystal vase. A living hand caresses the outside of the vase, slowly mirroring the other hand's position. Then it pulls away to hover at the vase top...
"He's going for it!"
"Oh hell! Grab him!"
Ian 3.0 found himself tackled and borne to the floor by his Season 1 brothers, the original Ian and his psychotic clone. Ian 2.0 smiled (but then, he always smiled,) and crouched on his latter's chest while Ian the First stood and shook his head slowly.
"Brother, what is Rule Number One?"
"A living man is..."
"Not Father's rules! What is our Rule Number One?"
"My middle brother always gets the black jelly beans."
"No, that's Rule Number Two. Rule Number One or we take turns sitting on you until the cows come home."
A shudder passed through the third Nottingham as he took a deep, cleansing breath. "We DO NOT, ever, under any circumstances, touch the hand in the jar."
Ian 2.0 rolled fluidly to his feet. "Very good." Ian 1, meanwhile, re- wound the barbed wire around that section of table and replaced the yellow caution tape. He shook his head and sighed.
"We're going to have to get a laser cage."
"I'm sorry, I know it's bad for me, I just...."
"It's all right," the eldest said. "We've all got the same self- destructive tendencies."
"I don't," 2.0 grinned.
"Oh, says the one who managed to live, what, five hours before getting himself run through?"
"That was not my fault!"
"Man, I hope my kid doesn't start blaming his parents for everything," came a voice from the doorway. Ian 3 looked at his brothers quizzically and then turned the same expression on the newly arrived Danny Woo.
"We sent for a little help," Ian One explained.
"Why him? Why not Gabriel?" Three asked.
"They thought the Wise Asian Master might know more about ghosts, spirits, and possession." Danny sighed. "'Sokay, I'm used to it. Besides, as it happens, they're sorta right."
"Well, that, and my happy brother here really likes to kill that kid. I never got that, you know. Difficult is fun, dead...?"
"Do I criticize your hobbies?"
"Hey, little attention here?" Danny said. "I'm doing you guys a favor. You all still owe me big time. You," he said, pointing to Ian 1, "got me killed. You," to Three, "buried me alive. And you..." he stared at 2.0, his voice trailing away in the face of that psychotic smile. "... I'll think of something."
"So, you said you had something for us?"
"Yeah. Okay, I don't remember a whole lot about last year...this year...whatever, but I do remember a little bit of the ghost grapevine, and this name came up more than once." He pulled out a newspaper ad and spread it flat on an empty display stand. "I called them, and they should be here any..."
"Knock knock," drawled an unfamiliar voice. "Little ghosties wanna come out and play with Uncle Peter?"
"There's definitely something here," added another, a rich baritone. "More than one something."
"Wow! I've never seen readings like that before! This is cool!"
"Heads up, guys," said a fourth. "I think we're there."
Entering the room were four men dressed in variously colored jumpsuits. The first who'd spoken was a brunette who regarded everyone with a sarcastic smirk. The second was a blonde with an improbably high pompadour, the third a slightly chubby redhead who grinned and bounced on his toes, and the fourth a black man who held his ray gun with the ease of a soldier. They all carried the strange back-mounted weapons, but the redhead had his holstered, holding what looked like a Geiger counter instead.
As one, each Ian stared, and as one, they said, "What the...?"
"Guys, I *think* that these are the Ghostbusters," Danny said.
"Well, of course we're the Ghostbusters," the brunette said, grinning and shaking his hand. "Peter Venkman. Always happy to take a contract from such an esteemed organization as Vorschlaag industries. Although, y'know, strictly speaking, a retainer is more economical in the long run. I've got a fee schedule right here..."
"Back away, Peter," said the deep-voiced blonde.
"C'mon, Egon, let me work, willya?"
"Peter, I'm getting very odd readings from that man. They seem to indicate..."
"Oh, whoa! Is this the possessee?" He jumped back and leveled his gun at Danny.
"Hey! I'm the one that called you guys." One Nottingham fingered his katana, and another held his arm.
"Look, long story short, I was a ghost for a while and now I'm not, okay? Don't ask me about it, I really don't remember much."
"That would be consistent with this PKE signature...although I really would like the details of your resurrection...absolutely fascinating stuff..." the blonde trailed off.
"You and me both," Danny sighed.
"Wow, you were on the other side? What was it like? Was there a light? What- "
"Down, Ray," the black man said fondly. "You'll have to excuse these guys. They get kind of excited."
"I resemble that remark, Winston." The new arrivals turned to a clearing throat, and were confronted with the three near-identical brothers Nottingham in all their dangerous glory.
"Whoa. Ray?" Peter muttered,
"Yeah Peter?"
"Remember last week when I wished I'd run into three really attractive triplets?"
"Uh huh?"
"This was not at all what I had in mind."
"You called the Ghostbusters?" Ian 1 asked, looking over them to Danny Woo.
"Yeah. Their ad said they could treat spectral possession, so I figured we could give it a try."
"Hmm...very interesting..." the blonde, Egon, said, his meter out and scanning, its antennae fluctuating back and forth. "I *am* picking up traces of an overlay...here..." He walked up to Ian 3, the meter beeping loudly as he ran it across him. "It seems to match that other strange reading we picked up out in the hall... coming from over...here..." and Egon ran straight into yellow caution tape, which caused him to pause. It was a good thing, because the barbed wire was next. "Ah." The meter beeped even louder as he aimed it at Kenneth Irons' severed hand.
"Bravo! Give the man a hand," Peter said.
"Can I kill him?" murmured Ian 2.
"No."
"You never let me have any fun."
"Hmm..." Egon murmured, then, "Yes. I believe we can help...now that we have the PKE signature of this item, we'll likely be able to separate it out from his using our throwers, should the possession occur again. Although I really should advise against keeping such a dangerous object here, even if it is under guard. It's likely a link to a dangerous and powerful personality."
"You don't know the half of it."
"We really oughta get a baseline of one of you two guys, though," Ray said, smiling happily back at Ian 2.0, either immune to or oblivious to his menace. "You're his brothers, right?"
"Well, temporal duplicates, technically," said Ian 1.
"Really!" said Egon, his eyes lighting up. "We should definitely discuss this further."
"Um, Egon, when the PKE meter starts shaking, that's generally bad, right?"
"Yes, Peter, it usually means something extremely powerful is coming, why do you...oh." His meter trembled in his hand. The beeping became louder and louder as a brown-haired woman walked in the door.
"Hey, partner, am I early? What the?" A blonde man pointed what looked like a mutant Geiger counter at Sara's Witchblade wrist. The beeping it emitted became one long, continuous wail.
"Ditch it, Egon!"
The blonde tossed the meter into the fireplace, where it exploded.
"Okay," commented a black man from near the table, "Now *that's* powerful." He and his jump-suited friends had their weapons out and fixed on her. The Witchblade expanded and became a gauntlet, held in defense.
"Oh!" exclaimed a redhead. "Guys, you can put the throwers down. That's the Digitabulum Magae!"
"The Digitabulum? Ray, are you certain?"
"The who now?"
"It's an artifact of great power," Ray said, as excited as he'd been since they got there. "But it's not evil."
"It isn't necessarily good, either," Egon murmured.
"Hey, you're the Ghostbusters, right?"
Peter clasped his hand over his heart. "She recognizes us! I'm in love!" And behind him an Ian growled.
"Detective Sara Pezzini," she said, holding out a hand.
"Peter Venkman," he said, taking her arm and bowing, relatively unaware that he simultaneously took his life in his hands. "*Doctor* Peter Venkman."
"Charmed," she said, giving him her quirked, ironic grin.
"Um, I hate to interrupt," said Danny, pointing, "But that can't be a good thing, right?"
Unnoticed in the commotion, the clean-shaven, smiling Ian 2.0 had climbed onto the table, avoiding the barbed wire. He now trailed his fingers in the vase with the hand.
"Brother?" Ian 1 asked uncertainly, putting an arm out to back everyone away. Bracketing them, Ian 3 did likewise.
The sinister grin only widened. Rising from his crouch, Ian 2.0 leaned his head back and gave a full-throated evil laugh. "Daddy's home!"
Ian 1 and Ian 3 pulled their swords, and the Ghostbusters shouldered their throwers.
"This is bad," Egon said. "Very bad."
* * *
TMF