Hi all!
Bringing to you a short story by author ぱるるぅた (member ID 5705785) from pixiv.
This one's gonna be angsty, so buckle up for the ride!
Chapter warning: Hard-core angst. Slightly OOC.
My heart ~Chapter 1~
"I want to kiss you."
Kid's request plunged deep into Law's heart, settling at the bottom like a heavy weight.
Too embarrassed to nod assent, much less give a verbal reply, the dark-haired man remained silent. Kid waited, a look of masked sorrow on his face.
"Don't look at me like that," Law finally managed to whisper.
'Seeing you like this makes me upset,' he wanted to add, but didn't. Instead, he gave Kid a small bitter smile.
"It's ok if you don't want to," Kid offered.
"No, that's not it," Law quickly interjected, afraid of giving Kid the wrong idea. Reaching up, he cupped the redhead's face gently with both hands. "It's just... are you sure?"
"Yes," Kid replied without a trace of hesitation.
'But I'm a man...' Law wanted to insist. He'd long known that they held mutual feelings for each other, and though the fact made him slightly wary, he did not feel that it was wrong in any way. They weren't hurting anyone, and he somehow knew that he would never come to regret this.
Not that Law had much time to regret anything. His heart had always been weak, and the doctors had told him that he didn't have much longer to live. Therefore, Law was determined not to let any trace of regret taint his short life.
So, he had allowed himself to fall in love.
In this dark, lonely hospital.
Law knew that this was probably his last stay here; the chance of him leaving this place alive was almost an impossibility.
That was why, this love could not go wrong.
This, the greatest love Law would ever have in his life.
He would never get the chance to go on dates with Kid, never get to kiss him, whisper sweet nothings into his ear, nor make love to him. Yet he knew they were profoundly connected deeply in their hearts, as sure as he was of the fact that he was alive and breathing.
Alive as he only felt when Kid was with him. It made his heart hurt in a manner that he knew was not due to his sickness.
Slowly, Kid's lips descended upon his own.
It was Law's first kiss.
He wouldn't call it perfect, and they were both trembling slightly.
But...
Even so...
"I'm just so happy now..." Kid whispered with a smile as he pulled away.
Law blinked back the tears gathered in the corners of his eyes, not even surprised that Kid had managed to say what was on his own mind.
"You're just exaggerating," Law retorted. Embarrassment and joy vied for dominance in his heart. Tears clung to his lashes, threatening to fall as he fought to reign in the scattered emotions.
"No. I've never been happier in my life."
Kid's affirmation was the final straw, and Law finally allowed the tears to flow.
"I love you, Trafalgar. I really do."
'Please don't die.'
The words were taboo, and had never been spoken. But the silent plea hung in the air between them, pressing painfully down on Law. His heart clenched reflexively in pain.
"But Eustass-ya is going away, right?"
A few days prior, a donor had appeared, volunteering to donate a healthy heart to Law.
However, the dark-haired man had rejected the offer. The operation had a high chance of success, he knew, and if he didn't accept the heart, it would go to waste, voiding all the good intentions of the donor.
But Law didn't want to live anymore.
"Don't worry, I'll be back really soon. When I'm back, I'll stay with you forever," Kid assured his trembling lover.
Yes, Kid would be discharged soon, and he would be going away to a faraway place with a name Law had never heard of. The prospect haunted him, robbing him of even the will to search out where exactly Kid's destination was.
Because Law couldn't imagine a life without Kid. If he couldn't be with the redhead, there was no point in living in this world.
"Alright? So come on, don't sulk. There's hope as long as you're alive," Kid coaxed. "There's still lots of things you wanna do, right?"
'There are lots of things I wanna do, but I wanna do them all with you.'
Law averted his eyes, unable to bring himself to speak. Seeing this, Kid patted his hand, and with a "Gimme a sec", he rolled his wheelchair out of Law's hospital room.
A few moments, he returned, a letter tucked into the blankets on his lap. He handed it to Law, and the smaller man noted the neat letters written on the envelope.
'Dear Trafalgar Law.'
"Open it when you get better," Kid told him.
"No, I wanna read it now."
"Then there's no point, silly. If you wanna read it, then you have to get better."
Law lowered his head, silent. Seeing this, Kid smiled.
"Hey, Trafalgar. Promise me something?"
Law had always loved Kid's smile. It was like the Sun, warm, strong, gentle, and sometimes burning. The sight always left Law speechless in its brilliance.
"Go through the operation. Make a recovery, and get out of this hospital. Then, come to meet me."
Law's eyes widened.
"Can I...?"
"Of course."
"Really?"
"Yes, definitely."
'So promise me. That we'll surely meet again.'
"I'll be looking forward to your visit," Kid said, planting a soft kiss on Law's cheek.
"Then you'll stay with me forever?"
"Yes, forever."
"And you won't go away again?"
"No. I'll stay with you until you die."
'So promise me.'
"Alright... I'll go through the operation..."
Kid's entire face lit up upon hearing Law's decision, as he drew the smaller man into a tight embrace.
"I won't be here on your operation day, but I'll be praying for its success."
Law sank into Kid's arms and clung onto the other man.
"But Eustass-ya... I'm scared..."
The fear that held Law in its grip tightened around the dark-haired man.
"What if I die here, tonight...? What if I never wake up tomorrow...? What if the operation fails?"
'What if I die without even realizing it? What if it just comes for me, and I don't even know it?'
"I'm just so scared... What should I do...? I don't know what to do..."
He couldn't stop his tears as they trailed down his cheeks and soaked into the redhead's hospital gown.
"It's alright, the operation will succeed. I won't let it fail."
Law knew Kid's groundless reassurance was absurd, but it still comforted him. Law felt a thread of hope slowly weave through his heart. Wiping his tears away, he gave Kid a small smile.
"Don't be silly... You're not the doctor performing the operation..."
"Well, that's true," Kid laughed.
Law would never truly understand this man. But he loved him all the same.
'I love you, Eustass-ya. I love you.'
"Eustass-ya,"
'Thank you. Thank you for stopping my tears. Thank you for listening to me.'
Kid smirked, as if Law had actually spoken these words out loud. "Well, what did you expect from the hunk you've totally fallen for?"
"You're too egoistical. Minus 10 brownie points."
"Haha, you're always so strict."
The two shared a laugh, then another gentle kiss.
"OK, it's late. I should be getting back to my room."
"Alright. Eustass-ya, I'm sorry I won't be able to send you off tomorrow."
"Don't worry about it."
Kid rolled his wheelchair around and headed for the door. Stopping at the entrance, he turned to look at Law again.
"Trafalgar, smile for me."
"I'm smiling."
"No. Smile from your heart. Smile for me."
Kid pulled a funny face, and Law couldn't help but let out a soft laugh.
Hearing this, Kid smiled, satisfied.
"There we go. You should smile more, you don't do that often enough. I love your smile, Trafalgar, so make sure you always do so."
With that, Kid rolled himself out of the room.
The next morning, Kid was discharged from the hospital. Law knew he should be happy for the other man, yet all he felt was loneliness, pain, and a deep longing.
Kid's parting words laid forgotten in a corner of his mind, as Law sobbed silently at his loss.
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