Disclaimer: Not mine.
Author's Note: This was submitted to a contest (with a word limit - hence the length) at barneyrobin on livejournal. If you are at all a Barney/Robin shipper, get over there! Spoilers, fan fiction, news updates...it's a great community!
The Dress (note: Barney and Robin attempt to run away from their wedding. Barney gets distracted)
"OK, next time? Be more specific about a meeting place in your notes," Robin hisses as she crouches along the side of the church. "My grade six boyfriend was better at this than you. Is the coast clear?"
Barney's using a compact mirror to peer around the corner. "We're totally surrounded. Why did we invite so many people?"
"Who's out there? Do we know them?"
"Who knows, but they definitely will know us when they see you loping away in a..." Barney turns towards her then, and, after an overly dramatic double take, looks her up and down, mouth agape, "white wedding dress."
"Look, I'm sorry. Lily took two hours to lace me into this thing, and I'm pretty sure it's never coming off."
He raises his eyebrows. "Challenge accepted."
And they're kissing with a kind of wild abandon, and Robin almost lets him loosen her laces before pulling back. "No..focus! We have to get to Ranjit in the car before Ted and Lily notice that we're missing or we won't make it to Vegas."
"Please. If there is anyone that can escape their own wedding, it's you and me. We're Steve McQueen, and Lily's...every German in that movie, only armed with giant...fish hooks."
"Heh. She'll know what you didn't do last summer."
"Laugh it up, Sherbatsky. Like you can tell me that you're not afraid of Ted."
"Ok, Barney? Think about what you just said."
"Robin, there's a difference between regular Ted and best-man Ted. Regular Ted watches Sleepless in Seattle. Best-man Ted is the Hulk. Who also watches Sleepless in Seattle."
"Then let's make sure that he doesn't see us. Got it?"
Barney's staring at her, lips parted, eyes soft. "Got it," he says hoarsely, then leans in to suck greedily on her neck.
"You really do have ADD."
He's breathless, touching his lips reverently to her earlobe. "You look really hot in that dress," he whispers, his voice hollow. "Maxim centerfold hot."
"Well, that's kind of the poi..." but she doesn't finish because Barney has her up against the wall, kissing the breath out of her.
He pulls away to look into her eyes. "You know...if we went to Vegas, you'd have to take it off."
"I thought you wanted to take it off."
"Yes, but a true artist needs the kind of space that an airplane's lavatory just can't afford."
"So you're saying...you don't want to go to Vegas."
He touches his forehead to hers. "I'm saying...you look amazing in that dress."
Robin stares at him for a moment and then kisses him again, with a slow neediness that seems to go on and on and she moanswhen his hands graze her thighs and...
"Oh my god!" Lily says as she and Ted round the corner of the building. "Can't you guys keep it in your pants? Come on, it's time to start!"
Robin and Barney exchange a long look before Barney gives her one last lingering kiss. "See you inside?"
She smiles warmly. "Yeah. "
Ted huffs. "And here we thought you two were trying to run away."