Disclaimer: "Kim Possible" and all characters related to the series belong to The Walt Disney Company. Kim Possible was created by Mark McCorkle and Bob Schooley. Club Villain belongs to Ray Johnson(lyrics & vocals), Mavrick (producer). The villains mentioned throughout the story belong to their respective owners. KiGo: Club Villain belongs to Berserkeroo. All rights reserved.
It was a dark Friday night and a certain redheaded heroine was going to do the impossible. A shudder chorused her spine as she looked at the feline costume she adorned. "I can't do this Shego," she whispered as the sound of music grew louder.
The green villainess pulled the car into a screeching halt; her emeralds glanced towards her girlfriend in minute agitation. "Hey, hey. You said you wanted to know what's so great about where I go on my Friday nights and here it is," she chided with her thumb towards the source of the sound; a dark discotheque club. "I sure as Hell ain't going back to karaoke night with Drakken that's for sure. Even managed to get his pansy ass to swallow his pride and hang out with real villains," she muttered the latter.
"Well good for you," Kim muttered as she rubbed her arm in discomfort.
The older looked at the girl with unamusement. "If you keep worrying people will suspect you Sheela," the villainess sighed strumming her fingers across the steering wheel.
"But this is a villain's club..."
Shego let out a frustrated groan towards her lover. "Look Sheela if you can't chill out a bit, I'm ending the date right now and we'll go home," she said depan; shifting the gearshift towards drive.
The villainess let out a defeated sigh, but reluctantly got out of the car.
"That's my girl," she purred before catching up towards Sheela. The mercenary walked on before glancing back towards her car; shaking her head at a fond yet irritating memory. 'Fucking thieving ass villains,' she thought, hitting the lock button on the keys.
In the distance, the leopard villainess stood behind a red cord looking up at the door guard the Koopa King.
Bowser snorted a smoky emission as he eyes the small girl with fiery eyes. He bared his fangs at the newbie.
Shego waltzed up to the line, gaining immediate access through the ropes as well as her guest. "Sup Koopa King," she said trading dabs with the monarch.
"Ain't nothing, but doing my thing. You know getting a few spare bucks for a ring," Bowser chatted up with the smaller villain. His eyes shifted towards the younger villainess. "This her?"
"Yup, that's my princess, Kimmie," she introduced, snaking her arms around her affectionately.
He nodded before letting them into the club. "Have fun Sheegs."
"I am so missing something. Why'd you tell him who I was?" Kim asked — looking between the two villains.
Shego smiled at the redhead, kissing her upon her crown. "Funny thing about us is aside being green, we have another thing in common. The whole hero thing is a block towards villains like us. I'm not the only villain that fell in love with a hero so those of us who are in the same boat tend to have a mutual understanding; wishing for each other's happiness. I hope his princess would look at him instead of the big green monster he appears to be so he can stop kidnapping her already," she chuckled.
The disguised heroine looked back at the door guard noting the friendly wink and thumb up of approval.
"Let's not spend out time out here. Lets party! I hear the DJ is supposed to be the hottest thing on the block," she said as she dragged her girl by the wrist; opening the door of a brand new world towards the redhead.
"Wow..."
It was a Friday night, and I wanted to go out to
A brand new club in town, a discotheque I'd heard about through
A friend of mine who told me the place was a circus act for sure,
And then we rolled up and saw Koopa working at the door.
He waved us in, and we randomly met the Mr. Hannibal Lector.
He was handling records
In the DJ booth, asking which was the best selection
To make an impression on the Wicked Witch of the West and
Kim visibly paled at the sight of this week's DJ.
"Sheela, you okay? You don't look too good," Shego asked with a bit of concern.
"Th-that's Hannibal Lector! I've seen movies about that guy. He'll kill us and eat us Shego," she squeaked, unknowingly clinging on her girlfriend firmly.
The thief had to stop herself from laughing at her clearly worried lady. "Oh puh-lease. Villains don't work every hour on the hour. No one's gonna do jack shit. Wish they would!"
The Witch was booty-dancin' with Manson and Ganon,
Right next to Sideshow Bob being shot from Blackbeard's cannon.
That's when I knew that tonight I'd be chillin'
In the dance club partying with all these villains.
I can't keep partying around. Keep partying around. Keep partying, partying, partying.
I can't keep partying around. Keep partying around. Keep partying with all these villains.
All these villains. All these villains. All these villains. All these villains.
Catwoman and Harley Quinn, I swear I saw those hoes kiss.
I laugh at Jason Voorhees rockin' glowsticks.
And Dr. Octopus was also getting physical
with Ursula. The two were making out and touching tentacles.
Shego lead the catty villainess towards a group of her villainous friends. "Ladies... and gents," noting the Freddy Krueger in the corner. 'Where the Hell's Venom... Ah, whatever,' she brushed off. Her thoughts derailed at the sight of Harley Quinn and Catwoman making out in her peripheral. "Ivy's going to be pissed off later if you keep that up Harley," she warned.
Ursula let out a hearty laugh. "She's drunk again. You know she's a kissing freak when she's drunk," she continued on.
Harley smiled at the sexy leopardess. She licked her lips lustily, easing towards the redheaded heroine.
The green woman let a hand menacingly. "No touchie Harley."
The clown villainess threw her hands up in mock defeat. "Fuck it, I quit. I'm not that drunk anyways," she slurred; backing away from the taken girl.
"Ladies, this is my girlfriend."
"Hi," she waved at the mass of wicked faces.
Voldemort greeted Vader with a fist pound.
They were checking out Mystique's ass next to Chris Brown...
Hannibal stopped the record as his eyes caught sight of the celebrity; causing everyone to follow the DJ's glare.
"What the Hell is he doing here?!" Winifred Sanderson spat, doing all in her power not to hex the poor fool.
"Ay, ay, ay! Someone throw this SOB out the club, stat!" Hades shouted, the embers on his head flickering violently.
Kim stared around the club, but decided against saying anything; apparently villains had some form of standards.
Chris Brown? Somebody needs to throw that guy out of the club.
Baraka took the celebrity by the throat and hurled him out of the club. A round of cheers went out to the villain.
And Megatron,
he was getting it on.
He was drawing a crowd,
and they were calling out loud
like: Go Megatron! Go Megatron! Go Megatron! Go Megatron!
Go Megatron! Go Megatron! Go! Go! Go! Go!
I looked up and saw Venom doing Jager Bombs on the ceiling.
That's when I knew that I'd be partying with all these villains.
Kim glimpsed up towards the ceiling where a strange fluid was leaking from a shrouded figure handed from above. "Uhm..." She pointed to the villain on the ceiling, silently noting the bottles in hand.
Mystique followed the clawed finger, noting one of her favorite villains. "Finally! Venom brought the drink. About damn time."
Every villain in the club took a glass in anticipation for their glasses to be filled.
Shego carelessly handed her lover a glass and went on to give a few glasses to her friends; each savoring the drink.
Catwoman gave a quizzical glance towards the false villain. "Why aren't you drinking? You sick or something?"
The redhead looked at the villainess as if she grew a second head. She thought it was plainly obvious. "I'm too young to drink so it's illegal," she stated rather justly.
The tone of voice made every villain in the area give a double take at the heroine. A few giving hushed whispers about the new villainess in the club.
The green mercenary barged through the crowd laughing heartily. "Oh come on guys. Don't tell me you didn't catch that? It's a joke. Fuck the law, right?" Her eyes shifted nervously. "Such a jokester," she chipped in with a punch for emphasis.
Jason fell all over himself, banging the table as his shoulders shook. This ensued all the other villains to join with his laughing fit.
"Oh, that was a good one!" Harley giggled as she took her drink in one go.
Shego let out an unnoticed sigh of relief. 'Thank you Jason...' Her eyes went to the skeptical young woman. "Princess just drink it so they don't start shit and found out what I've done," she whispered in her ear.
"Fine," Kim sighed, taking the Jager Bomb in one shot. A shudder went down her spine. "That actually tastes pretty good."
"See, being a little bad can be fun. Just don't tell your folks I let you drink," the thief said, sipping on another drink. "So... want another?"
Kim nodded with excitement.
Shego snickered a bit but fulfilled her girlfriend's want of another drink.
I can't keep partying around. Keep partying around. Keep partying, partying, partying.
I can't keep partying around. Keep partying around. Keep partying with all these villains.
All these villains. All these villains. All these villains. All these villains.
Later in the night the latest addition to the club was officially drunk off her ass. The leopard and jester villainesses found themselves laughing at nothing.
"And I said fuck you Mr. J and walked right out. Men, who needs 'em?" Harley slurred about in her fellow drunk's face.
"Hell yeah!" Kim shouted.
The two started another laughing fit.
"You're girlfriend is drunk Shego. You sure that keeping her near Harley is a smart choice?" Ursula chided carelessly. Her eyes went towards the two drunks.
"I can trust K- Sheela. Plus I've got my eyes on her so-" Shego said — her eyes went to look back at her girlfriend only to see she was gone. "Oh shit! Where'd she go?"
"Relax girlfriend. She went that way," Sarah Sanderson said breathily as she pointed at the redhead on the other side of the club.
That's when I saw her there, from across the room,
Poison Ivy doing Jell-o shots with Dr. Doom.
Like the Eye of Sauron, I couldn't look away.
She was with some Joker, but the dude was probably gay.
Patrick Bateman passed us shots of vodka.
Me and Jabba tossed them back like "oooga chaca!"
I pushed Elmer Fudd out of the way, so that I could get closer.
I don't mean to be a Predator, but I got to get at her.
Kim was lying pressed close to the other redhead. She settled herself on Poison Ivy's lap and went in to kiss the villainess.
The green villainess grinned and made no attempt to stop her. "Aw, what the hell? Harley's having a little fun so why not. It'll teach her to lay off the drinks if she gets a little jealous anyways," she shrugged as she pulled the little sex kitten closer.
"Oh hell no!" Shego snarled as she stalked towards the other side of the club — pulling her drunken girlfriend off the fiend.
"What's your problem?" Poison Ivy asked, making another attempt at flirting with the redhead; the girl was quite the looker after all.
"That's my girlfriend Ivy! Touch her again and I'll burn your floral ass!" the paler villainess growled possessively.
Kim squinted as she looked between the two green women. "Ivy? Poison Ivy..." she thought, noting the red locks. She looked back at her girlfriend who was literally fuming. "Oh, man. I think I'm wasted."
The two women looked as they were ready to go into a super powered brawl in the club, obviously causing a scene.
"Eh, eh, eh! Someone get the bouncer! There's going to be a fight in here," Chucky said, pulling a knife out ready to defend his wife.
The hostile air caused most villains to lean towards their evil tendencies. Something had to be done.
Kim pulled her lover's face down and kissed her passionately.
Shego's hands extinguished and her body went limp. She had a Cheshire cat grin etched on her face.
"Damn, that girl can kiss," Poison Ivy said slackjawed.
Kim broke the kiss and looked at her very happy girlfriend. "I may a little bit drunk," she said nervously.
"No shit. Damn near sent the club into a panic..." Shego said disappointed though a hint of a smirk still graced her face.
Freddy used his claws to open up chardonnay.
I grabbed a glass and walked up to her like "yo, pardon me."
I took her home, and she and I spent the night chillin'
Up in the bedroom partying with one hot-ass villain.
The two walked out to the car and flashed a good bye to the villains in the club. The false villain giving a few apologies for the earlier conflict. The car slowly came into view.
"You were right Shego. That was fun but next time I'll do without the alcohol."
"Noted." Shego said with a shake of her head. Her eyes went towards the staggering, yet sexy legs of Kim. She had an evil grin on her face. "But... I say we make use of that alcohol in your system Pumpkin," she said as she wiggled her brows.
A few weeks down the line the pair returned to the club with an extra member in the car.
"KP, Shego's a bad influence on you. Why are you bringing me here?" a blue skinned blonde said as he looked at his duds.
"Will you relax. It'll be fun... just stay away from the alcohol and Harley for that matter," the leopardess warned.
"I think I'll pass," Ron said as he tried to go the opposite direction of the club.
Kim did her infamous puppy-dog pout.
"No fair!"
Shego snickered at the two and got out her car. "You two slowpokes coming or what?"
Kim pulled Ron out of the car and followed behind Shego.
The villainess locked her car and the group walked into the club.
"Wow!" the blue boy said as he looked at the radical looking club.
"My first reaction too." Kim said as she pushed him in to meet the villains.
I can't keep partying around. Keep partying around. Keep partying, partying, partying.
I can't keep partying around. Keep partying around. Keep partying with all these villains.
All these villains. All these villains. All these villains. All these villains.
I can't keep partying around. Keep partying around. Keep partying, partying, partying.
I can't keep partying around. Keep partying around. Keep partying with all these villains.
All these villains. All these villains. All these villains. All these villains.