"Primal urges?" Maxie blinked at Spinelli, confused. "Don't you know what I feel for you is so much more?"

She didn't let Spinelli protest, but continued. She walked towards him and grabbed his hands. "Spinelli, I don't want just meaningless sex with you. You're right, I don't have some sort of primal urge driving my feelings for you. Everything I feel for you comes from my heart and soul, every fiber of my being. That doesn't mean I'm not attracted to you. I am very attracted to you. I want you physically, I want to make love with you, but that isn't the basis of our relationship. Everything that happened with Johnny was nothing more than my self-destructive tendencies trying to wreck what you and I have. But I don't want to wreck everything. I love you and I want to be with you."

That's what Maxie should have said to Spinelli. But all she could do at the time was stand dumbstruck on the pier while the man she loved left her.

She'd hoped he would forgive her as he had for her previous sins. She was always screwing up, was this really any different? But it was different; she was beginning to realize that. She'd really done it this time. She'd hurt him in the past, but never before had he treated her with such cold detachment in return. He'd stopped calling her Maximista. In fact, he'd stopped calling at all. He didn't return her phone calls or emails, and the other day when she showed up at the penthouse, she suspected he was home and Jason was lying to cover for him.

She had never felt so alone in her life. Sure, her roommate/coworker was being a total bitch so their apartment and the Crimson office was now hostile territory. With no refuge, she now found herself at Jake's drinking away her free time. The place was full of sleazy men, some not so bad looking. She could easily end up in the backseat of some slime ball's car, one of those guys with no wedding ring but an easily discernable tan line as proof he'd slipped it in his pocket. But she'd already self-destructed, so what was the point? Even Johnny had stopped being interesting. He wanted to seek comfort with her over his breakup with Lulu, but she was so depressed she couldn't even muster up enough energy to hook up with him. Also, part of her blamed him for the mess she'd made, and it was difficult even looking at him now.

"Another drink, little lady?" Coleman purred at her in his usual slimy drawl.

"Hit me," Maxie sighed, holding out her empty rocks glass as he poured.

"That's pretty strong for a work night, isn't it Maxie?" asked Matt Hunter into her right ear. He was still wearing his hospital scrubs, she noticed with disgust. What kind of loser can't manage to put on real clothes before going out in public?

"Well, now that you're here, I'm going to need a lot more of these to dull the pain," Maxie chugged the brown liquid, cringing as it burned her throat.

"Come on now, being with me isn't that painful, is it?" Matt asked sweetly.

"No more than a root canal," she motioned for Coleman so she could settle out her tab.

"You aren't leaving so soon, are you?" Matt said, throwing down a few bills to settle her tab, annoying her further.

She turned and stared him down. "I'm no longer having a good time."

"You were having a good time alone? I find that hard to believe. Say, where's your computer geek shadow puppet, anyway? Haven't seen him around in awhile."

She gave him a hard shove on the shoulder. "Don't call him that. He has a name, you know."

"Okay, okay. Just wondering where's he run off to. Did he finally realize you would never be anything more than friends?"

Maxie flushed red in fury. "That's none of your business."

"Ah, so you cut him loose, huh? Well, that just means we have more time for one another. I'm much more fun than the computer geek." Matt smiled his most winning smile.

"No way in hell. And you aren't half the man Spinelli is." It didn't take much to see the sudden flash of raw emotion on her face when she said his name.

Matt chuckled, knowing he was beat. "You have a thing for the computer geek, don't you?"

Maxie looked at him expressionless, trying not to give away her pain to Matt.

His expression softened. "Maxie, you seem like you need a friend. And if you want to talk about what happened with Spinelli, I'm a good listener. I might be an arrogant jerk, but I know when a girl's heart is already taken. Why don't I take you to Kelly's and we'll get some coffee and talk? As friends."

Maxie frowned, unsure what to think about the uncharacteristically human Matt Hunter. "All right, let's go get coffee."

* * *

"So now he won't even talk to me. And I can't blame him. I really screwed up this time, Matt. But that's what I do best," Maxie sighed, finishing her story.

"Why don't you just tell him what you told me?" Matt asked, taking another sip of coffee.

"I tried. He won't return my calls, he refuses to even see me. He hates me." Her lower lip trembled a little and she took a sip of coffee to calm herself down. Even though she was feeling slightly more friendly towards Matt, who it seemed was now her only friend, she still didn't want to make a fool of herself in front of him by crying her eyes out.

"Maybe you just need to get his attention," Matt offered.

"How?"

"A grand gesture of your affection?"

Maxie shook her head. "I think he'd probably just throw it in my face."

"Look, Maxie, you think you're the entire problem here, but you're not. The computer geek… er, Spinelli, has been pining away for you for a long time now, following you around like a lost puppy. But he'd never just man up and tell you he loved you, and stake his claim. He feels inadequate, like he isn't good enough for you. That's on him, Maxie, not you. Until he can fight his own feelings of inadequacy, until he can feel he's somehow worthy enough to have you, this isn't going to happen."

Maxie sighed. "I know. He wants to be like Jason, like some kind of man of action. I don't want him to be that, but it's like he doesn't feel he's worth anything if he can't throw a punch or whatever. Like he has to defend my honor, and be my hero. He has no idea he already is, no matter how many times I try to tell him."

Matt smiled at her, conspiratorially. "I have an idea."