Rating: Rated PG just because I don't want it to be G. No cursings, no bad stuff. Yup.
Spam Kills
Mamoru stared blankly at the news Usagi had just broken to him.
"What about Chibi-Usa? If you.... She won't exist."
Usagi laughed at his suggestion, pulled out another piece of spam, and shoved it in her mouth. "Yes, I know. All the better. She's a brat," She paused. "Actually, she'll still exist... but it's fun to pretend."
He seemed on the brink of tears. Who was this girl? Surely, she couldn't be the lovable bunny that he held in his arms just a day ago. She was cruel. Plus, she was eating spam. He choked out his next words. "Don't you love me?"
"Well..." she hesitated. "No." She chuckled and again stuffed another piece of spam between her teeth. "I have to be going soon. He'll be here any minute."
"WHO WILL?" Mamoru demanded.
"I will."
He looked to the direction of the voice. "Prince Demando!" he gasped.
The figure sighed with disgust. "That's Prince Daiyamondo to you. I changed my name to the proper romanization a long time ago. Demando sounds too much like a G.I. Joe, and wasn't at all how you translate Diamond into Japanese."
"We're speaking English right now. What does it matter?" Mamoru shot back.
"It is only a matter of preferrence. Now... Usagi and I have our wedding to attend to. We'll be seeing you." Daiyamondo smiled with a look in his eyes that made it known that he was enjoying the way Mamoru writhed. He was a villain, after all.
"You can't take her. She's mine." Mamoru denied what had been set before him.
"Did she ever say she was your girlfriend?" Daiyamondo asked.
"Well, no, but..."
"Did she ever say she would marry you?" He put another question before the pathetic creature that sat before him.
"Did she have to?" He shot back.
"Yes. That's how she got TWO diamonds." (At this, Usagi extended her ring finger to show Mamoru a titanic diamond ring) "One for her finger, and one by her side, always."
"What about Chibi-Usa?" Mamoru again asked.
"Well, she's actually my daughter. Usagi didn't want to upset you. Then, you refused to lend her a quarter to continue her video game. This made her wonder if you cared about her at all. Chibi-Usa is mine. How do you think she got the hair and eyes? From a human?" Daiyamondo laughed out loud.
"You're evil." Mamoru broke down into tears.
"I know. See you after the honeymoon."
With that, he and Usagi left, arm in arm, while Mamoru had a mental breakdown on his couch.
Spam Kills
Mamoru stared blankly at the news Usagi had just broken to him.
"What about Chibi-Usa? If you.... She won't exist."
Usagi laughed at his suggestion, pulled out another piece of spam, and shoved it in her mouth. "Yes, I know. All the better. She's a brat," She paused. "Actually, she'll still exist... but it's fun to pretend."
He seemed on the brink of tears. Who was this girl? Surely, she couldn't be the lovable bunny that he held in his arms just a day ago. She was cruel. Plus, she was eating spam. He choked out his next words. "Don't you love me?"
"Well..." she hesitated. "No." She chuckled and again stuffed another piece of spam between her teeth. "I have to be going soon. He'll be here any minute."
"WHO WILL?" Mamoru demanded.
"I will."
He looked to the direction of the voice. "Prince Demando!" he gasped.
The figure sighed with disgust. "That's Prince Daiyamondo to you. I changed my name to the proper romanization a long time ago. Demando sounds too much like a G.I. Joe, and wasn't at all how you translate Diamond into Japanese."
"We're speaking English right now. What does it matter?" Mamoru shot back.
"It is only a matter of preferrence. Now... Usagi and I have our wedding to attend to. We'll be seeing you." Daiyamondo smiled with a look in his eyes that made it known that he was enjoying the way Mamoru writhed. He was a villain, after all.
"You can't take her. She's mine." Mamoru denied what had been set before him.
"Did she ever say she was your girlfriend?" Daiyamondo asked.
"Well, no, but..."
"Did she ever say she would marry you?" He put another question before the pathetic creature that sat before him.
"Did she have to?" He shot back.
"Yes. That's how she got TWO diamonds." (At this, Usagi extended her ring finger to show Mamoru a titanic diamond ring) "One for her finger, and one by her side, always."
"What about Chibi-Usa?" Mamoru again asked.
"Well, she's actually my daughter. Usagi didn't want to upset you. Then, you refused to lend her a quarter to continue her video game. This made her wonder if you cared about her at all. Chibi-Usa is mine. How do you think she got the hair and eyes? From a human?" Daiyamondo laughed out loud.
"You're evil." Mamoru broke down into tears.
"I know. See you after the honeymoon."
With that, he and Usagi left, arm in arm, while Mamoru had a mental breakdown on his couch.