Catwoman 057 - Reap What You Sow
Opening panel – In the wake of the big one, Gotham has been left in shambles. The silhouette of a lone female figure makes her way along its deserted streets littered with crushed streets signs oblivious to the destruction all around. Gotham after the big quake is now a world of upturned cars, collapsed traffic lights, wrecked Neo Gothic buildings adorned with smashed windows, cracked facades, and damaged masonry nested among the warped remains of what used to be street lights.
Voiceover [Catwoman] - "We are not in control. Every now and then life likes to reiterate that little point."
2nd panel – A female figure in dark silhouette makes a running jump to leap deftly onto the top of a garbage trunk parked conveniently in front of a building spotting a ruined glass façade, before pivoting into the remains of a bay window on the 2nd floor.
Voiceover [Catwoman] - "Some people find such reminders disconcerting. They spend their lives in breathless pursuit of meaningless goals, hoping to forget everything they know about their own mortality."
3rd panel - The silhouette of a female figure enters a dark sterile room through a smashed bay window. A small potted plant sits on the work bench in spotlight while strange fluorescent lamps and large glass tubes hang festering in the gloom.
Voiceover [Catwoman] - "Some people anchor themselves to something larger."
4th panel – A female figure is on her knees in silhouette using her hands to scoop loose soil spilled on the white floor back into a small upturned plant pot. There is a workbench covered with similar potted plants and in the background a large glass tube mounted on the floor is alive with liquid bubbling in its interior.
Voiceover [Catwoman] - "Religion, Art, Justice. Anything they seem significant in a life that's not."
Voice [Female] - "Poor baby ... We'll fix you up. For once you were glad not to be in the ground, hm?"
5th panel – A bright close up of a pair of feminine hands with long red fingernails pouring the last bit of soil back into the plant pot.
Voiceover [Catwoman] - "I suppose I admire the sheer force of the denial, and besides ..."
6th panel - Overhead view of a standing female silhouette in contrast against a white floor stubbed with large glass tubes filled with bubbling liquid. She is holding a small potted plant while in the foreground we see the dark outline of the head and shoulders of the narrator.
Voiceover [Catwoman] - "....I don't worry about people who take cover when the sky falls down."
7th panel - Poison Ivy is smiling in full light as she looks out on her vantage point onto the room below. She has a potted plant in one hand while the other gripes a horizontal support bar as she stands tip toes on a raised platform overlooking a room full of large steaming vats bearing the markings "Fertilizer. Wayne Tech"
Voice [Poison Ivy] - "Perfect."
***
Selina Kyle is a picture of poise and grace as she makes her way across the crowded panels to greet her guest star. When they told her that issue #057 of Catwoman would feature someone special she had thought nothing of it, after all having a guest or two every few issues was a norm in the business. It gives the writers something new to toy with for their ever meandering storylines and fresh graphic meat for the pencil and ink boys to cut their teeth on. It was just what they had told her, someone new to spice things up for an issue, but why the Hell did it have to be Pamela Isley and why the Hell didn't anyone tell her. She was going to kill O'Neil.
He had to know that she had a crush on Pamela for the longest of time. It was an open secret. Everyone who was anyone knew. Brucie knew, Jack knew, even Edie, Ossie, Johnny, and Harv knew. Hell everyone who did The Long Halloween issues knew. She was such a babbling nervous wreck whenever they had to do a panel together, they were thinking of cutting her speaking lines - Just stand there, look good. Puurrrrrfect.
They had first met off panel on an issue of Batman Detective. She had dropped in with Jack to speak to Brucie about an issue they would be doing together and found him giving the grand 2 cent tour to a knockout red head hanging off his arm. Jack wasn't the only one who thought Pamela looked absolutely delicious in her salad leaves and nylons. Selina thought she looked good enough to eat. Meow.
Selina stopped, took a deep breathe and told herself that everything was under control. After all, she was Catwoman and this was her title and as lead character it was perfectly normal for her to approach her absolutely drop dead gorgeous guest to say - "Hi Pammy, I want to taste those ripe pouting lips of yours and kiss you everywhere and anywhere until we both come screaming, wild and sweaty in each other's arms…."
No.
Selina shook her head. That was definitely NOT what she was going to say. That was definitely NOT what Catwoman would say. She was going to go over to where that delicious red headed Goddess was sitting in her dressing gown with her little paper coffee cup smiling at the circle of people hanging around her and say - "Hi Pammy, I want to have my lips up against your skin. I want to run my tongue all over your hot body. I want to kiss you and taste you and lick you and feel our naked....."
No. No.
Selina shook her head again. She was the God dammed Catwoman for Pete's sake. Concentrate woman. Concentrate. Concentrate on those beautiful emerald green eyes, that perfect pert nose and those oh so sensual lips. Tell her that there's no man who can please her like you. Tell her that they don't know what a woman feels, what she really wants or needs. Tell her that you are better than any man…..
No. No. No.
Selina desperately needed a cold shower and a stiff drink, but first she - Selina Kyle, Catwoman - was going to walk across the panels and say hello to her guest. She was going to walk over there and say in her friendliest sincerest voice - "Hi Pam, it's so nice of you to take the time to appear on this issue." There. Finally. That was what she was going to say and she would give her special guest star her sweetest smile and maybe ask her out to lunch if she was free later that is or if she wasn't maybe coffee or dinner or drinks or simply get down on her knees and kiss those leaf covered feet before she imploded.
Feeling more confident after that pep talk, Selina gave herself a pat on her back and coolly made her way towards where Pamela Isley was sitting.
***
Pamela Isley was feeling rather lost on the panels of Catwoman #057. Her agent had arranged a guest spot for her on this issue - as he said - to widen her exposure. He was always carrying on that the market would eventually dry up for femme fatales especially those that didn't do much other than look beautiful and pout – she was going to go the way of the Dodo. Blah. Blah. Blah. He was a dear but such a nag.
Pamela personally didn't mind if she did go the way of the Dodo, she preferred to become a gun tottering, knee length boot wearing, cigar chomping anti-heroine like Tank Girl or better still an interstellar spy like her best friend Lorna. Lorna was Spanish and tall and blonde and she always had so much fun with her spaceship and her robots and all those beautiful women who were forever throwing themselves at her. While it was true that Lorna bended both ways still life wasn't fair as far as Pamela was concern. What she won't do to get a date with that Bethlehem Steele, but there was no chance of that now, now that the perfect woman was seriously dating her best friend. Pamela couldn't remember the last time she was on a date.
She was musing quietly into her pathetic cup of coffee when she felt the air around her suddenly go still and quiet. The character extras which were joking and joshing around her a few moments ago had all vanished. She looked up.
"Hi...." It was Selina Kyle, the Catwoman herself, standing in front of her in that tight sexy latex suit that left nothing to the imagination. Pamela felt her throat go dry.
"Ms Kyle, thank you for having me on this issue. It's good to work with you again." Pamela said, quickly recovering herself and flashing Catwoman a brilliant smile.
".....Eh......yes.....mmmmm...ahhhhhh" Selina replied, confused and suddenly very very unsure of herself, being this close to Pamela was making her very nervous. The woman was even more beautiful up close and that windswept hair and soft supple skin and sensuous mouth. Oh my. Selina could feel herself getting horribly hot and on edge.
"Ms Kyle?" Pamela ventured cautiously wondering if she had said or done anything on the panels to offend Selina Kyle.
Selina had a reputation on the panels for being a Prima Donna Bitch for her high working standards, not that she had done or said anything to Pamela personally that would warrant repeating but Pamela was careful all the same. She didn't want to face a tongue lashing by her agent about her lax - less than serious - attitude. Again.
You would think by the way he was going on and on and on that he never got drunk at one of those Halloween special issue parties and ended up skinny dipping with Supergirl in Aquaman's glass bottom pool. Well maybe he didn't – she couldn't help it if she had a social life – and it was kind of nice that Kara had wanted to keep in touch in more ways than one, but that would be cradle robbing and she wasn't into that. Selina on the other hand was the cat's meow, not that Selina would ever be interested in her. Selina was going out with the big man, Bruce Wayne.
"Lunch.....eat....me....you…free?" Selina spluttered helplessly, smiling way too wide and showing much too much teeth.
It was always the same whenever she was up close with Pamela. She became a useless quivering ball of jelly, which was why in all the many times she made some fool excuse to across over panels to talk to Brucie or Jack or anyone she even remotely knew on "upcoming issues" but really to "accidentally" bump into Pam she succeeded in saying all of 10 words to her. The woman must think she had a speech impediment or a lobotomy or both.
"I would love too, thank you" beamed Pamela, secretly delighted that she won't have to eat alone with the extras again like the last issue of JLA she guested on. People could be so cold sometimes. It was wonderful that Selina was being so considerate. This issue was already turning out better than she could imagine.
"Yes?....mmmmmmmmm….Yes…" Selina gasped, her mouth flapping open and close like a fish's.
Yes! Yes! Yes! She aims, she shoots, and she scores!
Selina felt her legs go weak at the knees. She was going to have lunch with Pamela Isley. Later. Alone. Just the two of them. Together. Carefully and with as much finesse as she could possibly muster at the moment she plunked herself down on the conveniently vacant seat next to Pamela.
"Coffee……….more?" gapped Selina to her grateful guest, all the while grinning like one of the Joker's Smilex victims. This issue was already turning out better than she could imagine.
***
CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 2