So one more side piece because I think Narcissa is worth exploring. This one does not stand on its own, and if you haven't read up to Ch39 of my ongoing fic "Birds become Dragons" this may not make much sense.
If you are not reading (or just haven't yet) Birds become Dragons, you need to know that it's an AU in which the Malfoys are raising Delphini, not the Rowles.
If you are, then you'll know that this parallels a certain moment in Ch39.
Enjoy and leave me your thoughts at the end, if you please.
The Curse of the Flower
When her almost-daughter left the room, Narcissa crumbled.
When that child of hers that looks nothing like her left, she was suddenly a teenager again, being left behind by a sister.
When that girl, who looks so much like Bella that she could be Andy too, left and Narcissa could hear the flames carrying her away, she felt like she was a young woman again, with a baby in her arms, watching her sister vanish in the fire.
When Narcissa heard her star-child's clear and irate voice call for another place that was not home, she was left feeling like a broken woman who was losing her sister all over again.
Once more there's a piece of her heart leaving, and odds are it won't come back.
So Narcissa crumbled.
Before the only eyes she will ever allow to see her falter. At the only feet she will ever lay her soul. In the only arms that will ever hold all of her, gather her pieces and put her together again. Into the only beat that her heart follows.
Lucius'.
He was the light she craved, as dark as he was. She wished not for burning stars, she had plenty of those around, burning her too, outshining her. She had found a light that cherished her, in which to bloom.
She had found that light in a reflection of her, on the murky waters of her youth. He was in murky water too, even deeper than hers. But he was pureblood perfection just like her. He was propriety and decorum made flesh and soul, as she was, even at fifteen. He paid his respects to the traditions of their world, as she did. His family was prosperous and wealthy, and so was hers. His bloodline was so very appealingly pure. Hers was the purest. Bloods meant to mingle, society used to say at the time.
He was the light that allowed for her reflection in the dark waters they both had to dwell in. And in the similarity she had found love. She has been drowning in him since that first time she recognized her feelings for him. As he has been drowning in the scent of the most enticing flower, of the purest flower in a garden filled with thorns.
She was the flower that gave his light purpose, a reason to shine in between his darkness, even if only when they were alone. She was the tether that kept him from going under. He has been nurtured by her nectar for years, every time he healed, he healed for her. As she has been nurtured by his warmth, under which her pale, pure petals shine the brightest.
They have devoted to each other their inner, truest selves, using the muddy water as cover before the world. The world that knows of nothing but of her appearance. The world that knows of nothing but his darkness. A vain flower and a shrewd murkiness.
So she crumbled, trusting only him to prevent her wilting.
Because this time, she will wilt. Because this star she cannot lose. This star burns bright and ferociously but does not burn her. This star kept her while her sun was gone, for she closed around her stars during the night, shielding herself, building her armour from them.
She had seen Andromeda leave when she was just seventeen. She had raised her wand on her sister that night, trying to stop her, preventing her from taking a piece of her heart away. She couldn't. Stars move with wills of their own and trying to stop them only earns one burn marks. But her sun had nurtured her back with his light.
She had been holding Draco in her arms in the quiet of the night that time when she was twenty-six and her Master had vanished for the first time. Bellatrix had come to her, disturbing her precious little dragon and her sun, who was working relentlessly to keep the cold, black water from rising. How she burned that night, the warrior star of her sister, how her eyes burned in anger, and despair, and thirst. Narcissa never tried to stop her, for stars have paths traced for them. She had left from that very same fireplace, and her light had been bright in the night that followed, until it was dimmed by thick walls and dark spectres in the North Sea. A piece of Narcissa's was locked for fourteen years after that. And her sun nurtured her back still.
She had been forty-two the second time both her sister and her Master vanished. A definitive time. Bella had burnt the brightest in those final days, reassured by the certainty she had provided their Master with. Narcissa was right by her side. And burn away into darkness Bellatrix did, leaving that certainty wrapped in a pearl blanket, leaving her to be no more. Leaving a sizzling scar in Narcissa's heart in its path of doom. Her sun had healed from her nectar then, as she healed from his light.
This time, she fears she has grown too fond of starlight, she fears the sun won't be enough to keep her from wilting away. She almost wishes for the ability to burn away, to leave the world in a blaze of light, leaving scorch marks behind.
She was never a star to roam free and furious in the sky. She is a flower, and flowers grow roots. She was the only Black of her generation that was not of the skies, and so she never burned bright and away. She was also the only one to steady herself on the earth, both feet planted on the ground, by a lake of murky waters where she had found her reflection. A reflection she came to love and willingly drowned into.
A daffodil among the stars, one that had found its own different light. It was her achievement, her distinction, her place.
It became her curse.
She is rooted, she will always stay behind and watch others leave. She will always be threatened by the rising water.
Author in need requesting help: Here's the thing, there's a song that really, really compells me to write a piece about the Black cousins from Narcissa's POV. However, I can't find the lyrics anywhere online and I just have to. I can make out the most of them but I guess my English just isn't up to the task. The song is "Birth and Death are Sisters" by Deer Bear (yes, you read that right, deer as in stags and does). I got the first verse and most of the chorus (I'm missing one single word in it) but from then on I have several gaps. So if you could PM me with lyrics, or just the pieces you can understand and I'll hopefully be able to put the puzzle together, I'd be immensely grateful. The reward is, obviously, the piece, which will bear your username on the top, as credit