The world had drained Austin Moon today. Actually, the entire week had been hard. There wasn't an exact reason, it just wasn't the easiest of weeks, but the questions...ugh, he was sick of all the questions! How's Ally doing? Have you spoken with her lately? That's too bad, you were so cute together...do you think about her? Well, of course he thinks about her! He's silently fuming as he drops himself down onto his bed.
He runs his large hands through his hair and forces himself not to think about the times when Ally used to do it to relax him when he was struggling to get through the day. She was always the best go-to-person on a bad day. He didn't have that anymore. Why didn't he have that anymore?
Austin's cappuccino irises find the digital clock on his bedside. It's nearly one o'clock in the morning. He had spent nearly eight hours in the studio. He was trying to get the song right. After all, he had written it by himself for the first time. He had been nervous to show Dez and Trish, along with the workers at his label, but they had all cheered with excitement because apparently it was so good!
It was about her. Ally. The girl who he's obsessed over for the last twelve months. He pondered his thoughts and still, fresh in his mind, does he see her face. Of course, it's been a year and he should've forgotten, but he hadn't. He couldn't just let it slip his mind, the way they had gotten into that fight.
"No, Austin! You are self-centered, impolite, arrogant, and you have never cared about anybody but yourself! I've seemed to learn that the hard way!" Ally shouted at him, nearly popping a vein.
"Don't act like the angel here, Ally! You're too uptight all the time, you're controlling, you think everybody has to listen to you and do exactly what you say otherwise the world will just end! I've, also, learned this the hard way!" Austin's fists were clenched.
"Well, what do you want, Austin?" she shrieked angrily, "What do you want from me?"
"A damn break!" he snapped. He didn't even have time to press his lips together to prevent the words when they had already been blurted out.
Had time stopped? Maybe it had because Ally didn't talk for the longest time. Austin truly and obviously didn't mean that. Ally was his life. He literally breathed every day just to see her face. He couldn't think of a life where he didn't see her caller ID on his phone or even see her walking towards him with that soft smile that she always wore. But he said it and there was no taking it back. He must've wanted it at least a little bit, because he didn't even try to apologize. He only stared.
"A break?" she asked, her voice hardly above a whisper. Austin...didn't want her anymore? But why? Maybe she hadn't loved him enough. Maybe she was too controlling. Maybe she was totally awful to him without even realizing it. "O..Okay." Austin thinks he hears her voice crack but he's not able to comfort her when she grabs her phone off the table, sends him a slightly apologetic smile and rushes out of the apartment.
If Austin would have known that their "break" meant forever, he would've never even thought of saying that. He would have never even have gotten angry at her. Why was he angry at her again? He can't even remember. It was something stupid. They rarely had arguments and when they did, they were always full of non-sense. He was sure that the breakup shouldn't of been official. He wonders why it was.
He doesn't even realize that he's walked out of his room until he realizes that he's made himself a coffee. Probably not the best solution at nighttime but he didn't care at the moment. He slowly sat down in his comfy chair. His gaze rested outside the window. The city lights were always beautiful and inspiring. They made him feel at peace, but he's not at peace tonight for an odd reason. The thought of Ally was haunting him. It seemed to always haunt him at night. He's lucky if he can sneak one night in without thinking about her. It's very rare though. She was his everything and one stupid argument ended all of it.
Ally rakes her fingers through her hair. She's so tired tonight. She had just finished a two hour concert. She loved hearing the sound of her fans screaming her name in unison or when they would sing the words back to her, the words of the songs she'd written. She loved hearing Austin do that more. Like when she would sit at the piano and just start singing random songs and he'd randomly join in. It never mattered where he was in the house, if he heard her, he was singing too!
"Never known anyone like you before / someone who could make-"
"-smile / when I fall down on the floor!" Austin's voice shouted from somewhere in the house. Ally couldn't prevent the smile that curled onto her lips. She tried to stifle a giggle but it came out when she began singing the next set of lyrics.
Austin appeared suddenly, still singing the words as he tried to fit on his shirt that Ally figured he must've pulled out from the dryer. She found herself laughing as they continued to sing together.
Ally rubs her eyes. She really needed to get to bed. It was half past one in the morning. She pulls off the earrings she had been wearing and drops them down onto her coffee table. She walks into her room and pulls off the very pretty dress she was wearing and climbs her body into a sweatshirt and shorts.
She really missed Austin tonight for a reason that haunted her endlessly as she crawled into her bed after brushing her teeth and not bothering to remove her makeup. She just wished he'd know that she is never not tempted to call him, even if it's just to ask him how he is. She missed his voice, his smile, his laugh. It's worse because Trish keeps reminding her every five seconds that she wished Austin and Ally had never called a quits. Ally doesn't blame Austin for it though, because Ally didn't need to walk out of that apartment. Ally never fought for him like she should have. She squeezes her eyes shut tightly. Her bones ache with regret. If he knows everything about her, like he always swore he did, maybe he'd know that some nights, she even picks up with phone and nearly presses call before she chickens out.
Does he know that she always almost calls him? She always almost gives up all her pride to get him back? She hoped he did.
Austin grunts and rubs his face in distress. He had heard from Trish and Dez what had happened. Her mother had gotten into a severe car accident. Luckily, Penny was still alive and was doing just fine apart from the injuries she was suffering from. He had sent that tweet, the one that made the fans go crazy because Austin Moon just reached out to ex-girlfriend Ally Dawson via twitter! But they didn't know that he managed to leave a voicemail on her phone and asking if she was alright, to call if she needed anything.
She definitely hates him, he's decided. She never called him back, never responded to that tweet. Trish says that Ally surely doesn't hate him, but Austin thinks otherwise. Ally's probably forgotten all about him, she's probably giggling and smiling like she used to. She was better off without him, right? Trish is so angry that he thinks this, that she takes it right to Ally!
"Trish, just stop, okay?" Ally snapped at her best friend when she wouldn't stop lecturing Ally about how she needed to reply to Austin to at least say thank you. Ally shook her head, pretending to ignore Trish but she actually was contemplating whether or not she should reply.
Ally comments to Trish that it's none of her business and Ally shouldn't have to feel obligated to talk to him, after all, Austin ended it! He's the one who tossed her away like he never loved her in his life! As if they never wrote songs together, laughed together, teased each other, as if they never co-existed together!
"You are so stubborn!" Trish stomps her foot and claims that she can't handle Ally right now. It was obvious that the two needed to get back together, so why don't they? She marched out of Ally's place, slamming the door. Ally rolled her eyes and shook her head.
It wasn't very obvious to Trish or Austin that Ally simply couldn't reply to Austin. She wanted to, God, of course she wanted to! She had spent an hour pacing after the voicemail. He sounded so...so him. His smooth voice, the caring note in it. She nearly peed her pants when she saw that he had called her. Her guts had bubbled in excitement before they calmed down when she reminded herself that Austin does not love her. Trish tells Ally that he still does. Ally's not so sure.
She just couldn't reply to him. She couldn't. She knew that if she called him, even if nothing happened, she couldn't think about that goodbye. A simple "Well, just checking, bye Ally!" would tear her insides apart. It would peel her skin until she was totally exposed, probably weeping on the phone. She would not take it. She never said goodbye to him, she hated goodbye's and even though they are over, she is not saying goodbye to him.
"You know, Ally," Austin's voice is smooth like butter, sweet like candy, "I've missed you so much." His eyes pour emotion into hers and Ally feels it right down to her core. She shakes and tears fill her eyes. She's missed him so much.
"I've missed you, too, Austin." she says, "But we can't be together."
"I don't see why not," Austin mutters, his eyes filling with irritation. His eyes turn a lighter shade as he whispers, "I love you, Ally."
A choked sound leaves Ally's throat but Austin doesn't seem to mind as his fingers play with her hair. She doesn't even get the three words out of her mouth, she's just sure he already knows.
"Let's do this again, Ally. We'll do it right this time. I'm sorry for everything that happened. I'm sorry that you walked out on me, but most of all, I'm sorry I wanted the break. You're everything to me and I just love you so much." Austin's voice managed to crack. "Be with me again, Ally."
Ally looks into his eyes and there it is. Everything she's ever wanted. To be with him again. She's just got to say yes. If she says yes, she'll have it. She'll have him. The ache in her heart that stayed put for the last year will finally be gone and she'll be free to live her life again without feeling like something is holding her back! Just say yes, Ally! Say yes! Say it! She closes her eyes, taking a deep breath.
"Yes," Ally mumbled. There's a frown on her face when she opens her eyes. She wasn't in their old apartment, she was at her new one. "Austin?" she called out. Reality sets in and her heart sinks. It had been a dream. A silly dream where Austin actually wanted her back. She rests her head back into the pillows. She can't take this anymore. She forces herself out of bed today for the first time all week and finds herself sitting at her piano.
Austin clicked on his radio and an impact hit his chest as he do so. Right into his heart, right to the place where he still hurt about his breakup with his favourite girl. The breakup that should have never happened, but it had anyways.
It was her voice that got him totally overwhelmed with emotions and memories. It was flawless, coming through his speakers. He's lucky enough to get the chance to hear the song right from the beginning. Her soul is in the song, just as it always was in all of her songs.
I bet this time of night you're still up.
I bet you're tired from a long hard week.
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city.
And I bet sometimes you wonder about me.
And I just wanna tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you.
And I wish I could run to you.
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do,
I almost do.
I bet you think I either moved on or hate you
'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply.
I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you
And risk another goodbye.
And I just wanna tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you.
And I wish I could run to you.
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do,
I almost do.
Oh, we made quite a mess, babe.
It's probably better off this way.
And I confess, babe,
In my dreams you're touching my face
And asking me if I wanna try again with you.
And I almost do.
And I just wanna tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you.
And I wish I could run to you.
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do,
I almost do.
I bet this time of night you're still up.
I bet you're tired from a long hard week.
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city.
And I hope sometimes you wonder about me
It's been on his mind all week since it had been released. That one song. That song that he heard on the radio because he swears that it's about him! But what if it's not? Maybe she never actually got over Gavin and she's decided that she's at a loss for ever going after Austin instead of him.
Trish flips through a magazine, shrugs her shoulder and encourages him to talk to Ally. Dez is playing with his camera that seems to have broke somehow when he tells Austin that he has to talk to Ally. Of course, he's talking with the two people who love Ally dearly and would give anything for Austin to be with her again. They're only saying this because they're biased, Austin thinks to himself.
That doesn't explain why he's at her apartment. Trish gave him the address and well, now he's here and he's shaking. He stares down at the address scribbled onto a piece of paper and he's really here. This is it. He swallows hard, takes her photo off the dash and gets out of his car.
He knocks thrice before digging his hands into his pockets. He waits, and waits, and waits. Maybe he stood there for 3 minutes, maybe he stood there for 30 minutes. But at some point he realizes she's not going to answer the door. He sighs and looks up at the ceiling, trying not to feel disappointed but you can never control how you feel when you hurt this much.
"Austin..."
The soft voice is surprised and he would just recognize it anywhere. Austin turns around suddenly and the entire dialogue he had prepared vanishes. He forgets everything. Why was he here? Oh, right, the song. What was he going to say? Oh...Um...
Ally's eyes glance to her door before looking back at him. She always figured how much it would hurt to see him face to face after all this time, but she somehow feels better. She looks down at her bags of groceries. She should really invite him in, but she doesn't know how. It's so simple, but she just can't get anything except his name out from her lips.
A hand swiftly runs through his hair and he tugs on the roots. "Uh, Ally," he finally gets out. A year. Had he really gone a year without her? He must be invincible. Maybe not so much, because he's missed her more than he should have. He realizes the begs in her arms. "Need a hand?"
She doesn't really, but she still says yes. She unlocks her door and they walk into the house together. Her arm brushed up against him and she acts like a twelve year old, jumping back with a red face and apologizing repeatedly. He smiles slightly and doesn't tell her how nice her skin felt against his.
They leave the groceries, apart from the milk, on the counter and just stand there in her kitchen awkwardly. She needs to ask him why he's here but she doesn't. She waits until he's ready.
It takes fifteen minutes of small talk before Austin takes a deep breath and says, "Your new song...It was...It was on the radio. I heard it." He swallows hard and Ally's heart pounds. Maybe releasing it wasn't such a great idea because now he knows! She's doomed. Maybe he's angry. Maybe he's concerned why she hasn't gotten over him.
"That's...cool." Because she doesn't know how else to respond.
Austin knows he's going to have to say something more. He remembers the photo in his pocket, the one he had taken off his dash. He takes it from his pocket. He holds it towards her. Ally's slightly confused as she takes it and then realizes that it's the picture of her and Austin on their first date. They were so happy, so giddy, so awkward. She can't smile, because it only hurts. She looks up at him.
"I've never taken that out of my car." he tells her honestly.
"Oh." she whispers.
"Do you remember that I spilled the punch all over your skirt?" he questioned. The corners of Ally's mouth twitched and she nods steadily. He laughs slightly, because he's still embarrassed about that. He remembers apologizing one too many times.
"I turned around," she whispered. Austin looked at her with confusion. She looks up at him, peering at him beneath her long lashes. "That night," Austin thinks he knows what night she's talking about, "I turned around and almost walked back to you. But I didn't."
"Why?"
"I don't know." she whispered again, unsure whether she was telling him why she turned around, or why she hadn't run to him.
"I almost went after you." Austin whispered back, "When you came to pack up all of your things. You left and I almost went after you."
It fell quiet between the two. Ally stared down at the picture in her now trembling finger tips. "You should have." Ally finally whispered.
"You should have called me."
"You should have called me, too."
"You should have come back to me."
"You should have come back to me, too."
"What do you think I'm doing right now?" Austin finally managed to get out, his voice no longer a whisper. Ally's heart stopped. She looked up at him. She sees the honesty and truth in his eyes. She takes a deep breath.
"It's been a year, Austin."
Those were the words he didn't want to hear. He's silent for a moment. He nods, says, "I know and you're right."
"About what?"
"I did wonder about you. I do wonder about you." Austin told her.
"I wonder about you, too." she replied. Austin slowly nodded.
"You should have." Austin said, "You should have done everything you wanted to. I should have, too." He then shook his head, "I wasn't going to let today be another one of those 'I could've' 'I wanted to' 'I almost did' kind of days. Today I did and here I am. Do you still love me, Ally? I know this is sudden but just...be honest."
"Yes." Ally whispered. "Do you?"
"I'm here, aren't I?" he said.
He still loved her. She still loved him. Ally looked at him, just in time for him to mold his lips with hers. She couldn't believe a sad song, an honest song, caused her to have the happy ending she was wanting. Suddenly, her heart didn't hurt anymore. Suddenly, he didn't miss her anymore because they were with each other. They were holding each other and they loved each other.
"I will never let you go ever again," Austin whispered, leaning his forward on hers. Ally smiled slightly and nodded. She wrapped her arms around his neck. She didn't kiss him, she hugged him. She missed his embrace.
Woo. Happy Endings!
I'm leaving tomorrow for vacation. I should be back by Sunday, hopefully.