Welcome!
Huh?
You have been chosen.
Chosen? Chosen for what? Is this a dream?
Chosen…to save the Pokemon world.
Pokemon? That dumb thing that children like? The things with the magical abilities and crap?
I assure you, there is more to Pokemon than just that.
…I swear, this is a dream. I don't even play Pokemon, and now someone says I'm going to—
Please sir, listen. I want to make your transition to our world a pleasant experience.
Why me? Why not any other person, probably one that actually PLAYS Pokemon?
Because it was our gods that chose you.
Gods?
Yes, our gods chose you out of the billions of humans in your world.
I don't even believe in the one god everyone here believes in. Why should I believe that your "gods" that chose me are real?
I assure you, sir, that our gods are real.
Do you have proof?
Sir, I don't have much time to engage in such trivial banter such as this.
"Trivial"? I'd have you know that, if this is for real, that I won't trust someone so suspicious. Not after what happened back then…
Back then?
…Nothing.
Anyways, before you depart for adventure, I must ask you a couple of questions.
Great… A test… And just when I thought I got out of school…
Don't worry, it's more of a… personality test.
Why would you need that?
To see what kind of Pokemon suits you best, of course. If you are going to save us, you'dneed the best form for you.
I– wait, what?
Now, question 1.
Wait, what? Form? What the–
"Your friend has made a meal that tastes horrible. They ask—"
That's impossible.
Impossible? Why?
I have no friends.
Oh, dear. I'm sorry. Anyways, question 2.
You know, you still have to answer my—
"You're on a stroll when a TV crew pounces on you for an interview. What do you do?"
I'd punch them.
I'm afraid that's not an option.
What?
Would you… A, "Run away! How embarrassing!"
Eh?
B, "Answer questions properly,"
This is multiple choice!?
Or C, "Yuck it up! Woo hoo! I'm on TV!"?
Why would I do any of those things?
Please, select the best answer that relates to you. And please, be truthful.
Ugh… I guess A would be the closest.
Okay, question 3!
You know, about that whole "form" thing you mentioned…
"You're about to buy a popular game when someone else grabs the last copy! How do you feel?" A, "Whatever." B, "Annoyed. I was here first!" or C, "I shed a few tears."?
Whatever. I don't even care about video games.
Next question…
Hey, stop ignoring me! I've been answering your questions, now it's time to answer mine!
"You have a really important test tomorrow!"
Ah! I'm gonna kill you if I ever find you!
"What do you do?" A, "Study all night long", B, "Wing it! I'm sure it will be fine!" or C, "Test?! I think I have a fever…"?
I don't even go to school, why should I care?
Alright… B it is.
Now, what do you mean by "best form for me?"
Oh, that. You are about to become a Pokemon.
What?
Yes, in order to save our world, you need to become a Pokemon.
Didn't your gods ever say anything about ASKING me if I even WANTED to BE a Pokemon?
Their exact words were, and I quote: "Find our chosen hero and bring him into the Pokemon world. It is time for him to come."
Great… I don't even get a choice in this.
I'm sorry. Just following orders.
When I get there, I'll kill them… ALL of them…
Please, sir, may I resume?
Oh, yeah, sure… This is just a dream, after all…
"Good news and bad news… Which one do you want to hear first?" A, "The good news." B, "The bad news." Or C, "I don't want either."?
I honestly don't care.
C?
C, sure.
"Yes or no, do you like karaoke?"
No.
"There's a rumor around about a ghost haunting the school bathrooms! What do you do?"
You know, I like how you are actually putting emotion into whatever you're reading.
A, "Scary… bathrooms!" or B, "Go in there anyways."?
I don't believe in ghosts. B.
"Hey, what's that? There's someone behind you!"
No there isn't, this is a dream! There's only you and me here!
"So… did you look just now?"
No.
Alright, C.
You didn't even… fine, next.
We're almost done here, don't worry. "If you saw someone doing something bad, could you scold them?"
Um…
…
…
Either "Of course!" or "Not really" would be fine, sir.
…Not really, I guess.
Really now? Okay, last question. "Are you a male or a female?"
…Do I even have to answer? You can see me, right?
Actually, no, I can only hear your voice.
Can't you tell my gender from my voice?
Well… maybe, but—
Aren't you the one calling me "SIR" the WHOLE TIME!?
…Yes, sir.
EXACTLY! What kind of question IS that?
Well, I was tasked with—
If you could tell I'm a guy, then why did you even have to ask?
…Sir, please don't overreact.
I'll react all OVER if I want to!
I apologize. Anyways, sir, may I please continue?
Ugh… Fine…
Now if you'd please… Place your finger on the board in front of you.
Where'd that come from?! And how is it floating?
Please, sir, I'd very much like to evaluate your aura.
Okay…
Now, relax. Breath in… Breath out…
…
…Okay, you may remove your finger.
That quick?
Yes. Your aura… is a bright aqua color!
Okay…
Now, your nature… "You seem to be the timid type! You're quite gentle!"
Timid? Me?
"You're sometimes a little shy about new things, aren't you?"
Is it because of my answers? Cuz, just saying, I wasn't really being honest with most of it.
"Do you miss out on some experiences because you get worried about the newness of the challenge?"
…No, that's not why—
"Of course, there's also a great benefit in being cautious, isn't there? After all, it keeps you nice and safe! You live life at your own speed, with no hurries and no worries!"
Safe… right…
"A timid and gentle type like you should be…"
…
…That's it.
What?
Now, to decide what kind of Pokemon you will be…
Well, if had to be a Pokemon, how about Charizard?
I'm sorry, sir, but that may be too much for someone like you.
Too much? Okay… I don't want to be Pikachu… That's basically the mascot, right?
…
What other Pokemon do I know… There's the, uh, giant… dragon… thing… From that parade… That was a Pokemon, right?
…Got it.
What?
Squirtle.
Squirtle? That sounds like some kind of stupid turtle with a bladder problem.
Well, the turtle part is right, I suppose.
Do you even know what a Squirtle is?
Well, I'm not very familiar with earth creatures such as this "turtle" you mentioned.
Does it have a shell?
Yes.
Is it a bug?
Why, no, sir.
…I'm pretty sure it's a turtle.
Well, Squirtle have the ability to retract their whole bodies into their shells, which they use for defense.
What does this have to do with me?
A timid type like you would find comfort inside the shell that Squirtle have.
I'm not timid!
Also, they are water types.
I don't understand your Pokemon word things! Types? What're those.
Basically, you can use water to fight.
…So like water balloons?
Well, there is a move called "Water Gun" that you may recognize.
…So squirt guns?
You also get to breathe underwater.
Sold!
Sold? Just like that?
Yeah, why not?
…As long as you are pleased, sir. Now, if I may ask, I'd like for you to select a partner.
Partner?
Yes. Someone that will accompany you on your journey.
Ugh… Great… Company… And a journey…
Now, what Pokemon would you like to assist you on your journey? It can't be just any Pokemon. I'll tell you what Pokemon may not be allowed.
But… I don't even… Ugh… Pikachu.
Are you sure about this choice?
Why not? If I can't be a Charizard, why should my partner be?
Okay, sir… "That's it! You're all ready to go! Be strong! Stay smart! And be victorious!"
…And watch out…