Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or the Grimm's fairy tales. They belong to Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm!
Chapter 1: A Day at the Library
"Well, well, well, what have we here? It's another book-loving freak in his natural habitat."
The familiar taunting voice pulled Butters back to reality as he glanced up from the faded pages of the book he was reading. He was sitting at a table by himself in the deserted children's section of the South Park Public Library, having become its frequent patron for the past week. Cartman stood across from Butters, his mouth curled into a smirk. Since the thought of reading for pleasure bored him to tears, he had been enjoying himself by wandering through the library and making fun of anyone in his path with a book in their hands.
"Oh, hi Eric!" Butters said cheerfully. He had been so engrossed with the story that he hadn't heard the insult. "Are you looking for a book?"
"No way! I have better things to do than stick my nose in some stupid book," Cartman scoffed.
"This book isn't stupid, it's really cool-"
"Oh my God, you're such a nerd!" Cartman laughed. "I don't know why anyone would want to spend their whole day cooped up in a library!"
"But you're cooped up in the library too, Eric," Butters pointed out.
"… So?" Cartman said after a pause. "I'm not like you, I'm cool! And don't you forget it!"
He angrily stomped away to bug another patron. Butters shrugged and was about to go back to reading when he noticed two more familiar faces entering the children's section.
"Hi, Kenny! Hi, Karen!" he called.
Kenny and Karen looked up at the greeting and made their way over to the blond boy's table. Karen smiled shyly at Butters and held her pink princess doll tight in her arms.
"(Hi, Butters,)" said Kenny. "(I didn't know you were here today.)"
"Oh, I've been here all week," Butters replied. "Actually, I don't have a choice. I'm grounded for a month and can't watch TV, so my parents are making me come here for at least two hours every day."
Karen whimpered at the word 'parents' and moved closer to Kenny.
"What's wrong?" Butters asked.
"(We're here because of our parents too,)" Kenny explained, putting an arm around his sister. "(They're, uh, having a loud discussion right now.)"
Butters nodded knowingly. "Gee, I'm sorry about that. But don't worry, Karen, there's a lot of fun things you can do here. The computers are open and there are plenty of books to read."
"I don't have a library card," Karen replied.
"That's okay. If you find something you like, I'll check it out for you with my card."
"Really? Thank you, Butters!" Karen said, perking up a little. "Can I go look around, Kenny?"
"(Sure, Karen. I'll be right here if you need me.)"
"Okay. Let's go, Dolly!" Karen hugged her doll to her chest and walked away to browse a shelf of American Girl books.
"(Thanks, man,)" Kenny said as he sat down in a chair next to Butters. "(Karen really needs something to cheer her up.)"
"No problem, Kenny," Butters replied with a small smile.
"(What book are you reading?)"
"It's a collection of the Grimm's fairy tales," Butters explained. He held up the book so Kenny could see the picture of a knight embracing a princess on the cover.
"(Karen might like that,)" said Kenny. "(She loves stories about princesses)."
"There are good princess stories in here, and a lot of fairy tales I've never heard of before. I'm reading one right now that was originally taken out after the tales were first published. It's called 'How Some Children Played at Slaughtering.'"
"(Wait, what?)"
Butters pointed to the two-paragraph story on the page. "Yeah, it's right here. Listen."
Kenny listened to Butters read the tale as his imagination took over…
XXX
The parka-clad boy soon found himself sitting in a field outside of town with Stan, Kyle and Cartman.
"I'm bored," Stan yawned. "What do you guys want to do?"
"Let's pretend that we work in a butcher shop," Cartman suggested.
The others agreed to the idea. There was nothing else to do anyway.
"Since this was my idea, I get to be the butcher," Cartman demanded. "Stan can be the cook."
"Why do I have to be the cook?" Stan asked.
"Because you like animals too much," Cartman answered smugly. "You'd never deliberately kill cows and pigs as a butcher."
"I wouldn't cook them either!"
"I'll be the cook, Stan," Kyle offered. "You can be my assistant."
"Sure, whatever," Stan said with a shrug.
"Good." Cartman turned to Kenny. "Kenny, you can be a pig."
"(Okay.)"
"So what do we do first?" Kyle asked.
"First I need to prepare the pig to be made into sausages," Cartman answered. "You two go get some cooking supplies. Kenny, start acting like a pig."
Kenny got down on all fours and oinked half-heartedly while Stan and Kyle walked back into town to raid their kitchens.
"Good, Kenny. Now hold still," Cartman ordered.
Kenny's eyes grew wide with fear as Cartman pulled out a knife out of his pocket and slowly advanced toward him…
XXX
"(NO!)" Kenny pulled himself out of the daydream and covered his ears. "(Stop! Don't read any more!)"
"Yeah, this is a weird story," Butters agreed. "Let's see what else is in here..."
As Butters scanned the table of contents, Kenny glanced over at the shelf of American Girl books to check on his sister. To his surprise, Karen was kneeling on the floor and crying into her hands. Kenny immediately leapt out of his chair and ran over to her. Butters closed the book and followed.
"(What's wrong, Karen?)" Kenny asked, kneeling down beside her.
"Eric s-stole Dolly, Kenny!"
"(What?)"
"I-I was looking for a book when he b-bumped into me," Karen explained through her sobs. "He a-asked if he could use Dolly to play a g-game called 'Lambs' and when I said no, h-he took her out of my hands and p-pushed me down!"
Kenny helped Karen to her feet and let her cry on his shoulder as he angrily scanned the room to find Cartman. He soon saw the fat frenemy running out the front door, holding Karen's doll upside-down by her leg. Kenny quivered with rage. Nobody bullied Karen and got away with it. And no doll was safe in Cartman's hands anymore after all of the horrific ways that he destroyed his own stuffed animals.
"(I'll get Dolly back, Karen,)" he promised. "(I won't let him hurt her.)"
"I'll keep an eye on Karen for you, Kenny," Butters offered.
"(Thanks. I'll be right back.)"
Kenny rolled up his sleeves and sprinted after Cartman. Butters patted Karen's shoulder consolingly as tears continued to roll down her cheeks.
"Aw, it's okay, Karen. You'll get your doll back soon."
"It's not fair!" Karen whimpered. "Why do people always pick on me? I've never done anything mean to them!"
"I know how you feel. People pick on me all the time too," Butters sighed.
Karen buried her face in her hands again. "I wish I was brave like Kenny and my guardian angel…"
"You are brave, Karen," Butters assured her. "You probably just don't know it."
Karen peered at Butters through her fingers. "Y-you really think so?"
"Of course! In fact, there's a boy in one of the fairy tales in that book over there that has a similar problem."
"Really?" Karen asked, wiping her eyes. "What fairy tale is it?"
"You've probably never heard of it," Butters began, "but it's called 'The Story of a Boy Who Went Forth to Learn Fear.' It's about a boy who gets picked on because he doesn't know what it means to get the shivers."
"The shivers?"
"It means to be scared, or to feel like you have chills going down your spine," Butters explained.
"Oh, I know how that feels…"
"Me too. The boy in the story doesn't understand it because he's really brave deep down and doesn't know it. But instead of letting bullies bother him, he goes off on an exciting quest to find out how to get the shivers."
"Wow," Karen murmured, intrigued.
"And during his quest, he also meets a beautiful princess," Butters added, recalling his conversation with Kenny.
Karen's face lit up. "A princess?"
Butters smiled. "Yep! It's a great story, Karen. Would you like to hear it?"
"Yes, please!" Karen answered.
"Okay, come over here and I'll read it to you while we wait for Kenny."
Karen eagerly followed Butters back to his table and sat down as the blond boy scanned the table of contents again to find the story.
Hey everyone! A few months ago my school did a play about the Grimm's fairy tales and "The Story of a Boy Who Went Forth to Learn Fear" was one of the stories we acted out. It's such an amusing story, I couldn't resist making a South Park adaptation of it. The tale itself will begin in the next chapter! :)
Believe it or not, "How Some Children Played at Slaughtering" really is an omitted Grimm tale and was in our play too. I played the kid chosen to be the pig... :/