Description: Caitlin Snow has already been through more during her almost thirty years on this earth than most people and yet, here it goes again, the man she's just given her heart to turns out to be the Reverse Flash…
The night of the particle accelerator explosion
When looking in the mirror one last time to check whether she was presentable enough, Caitlin Snow decided that in the end she would never truly understand her boss.
Yes, dr. Harrison Wells was a big enigma to her and one that she might never truly get to the bottom of. Especially now, she thought when biting on her lower lip and fixing her dress. The particle accelerator would soon be turned on and that would be it. Snow would still work in the Labs and for dr. Wells, but in the same time she figured their paths wouldn't be crossing so often anymore.
She heard the door opening and easily guessed it was Ronnie, the only person who usually got in without knocking.
"I'm almost ready," she threw his side, turning away from the mirror and reaching to her bag, checking if she had everything there.
She remembered how she'd started working in S.T.A.R. Labs, recruited by dr. Wells straight from college, still being inexperienced and a little bit shy but feeling so proud he'd noticed her. He was her hero. Her mentor. Her everything once. Yes, she'd even developed a small crush back there that only grown worse when they'd started working closely together on the accelerator. Only when the team was fully assembled and Ronnie with Cisco joined, dr. Wells started to keep his distance. She could never quite figure out why. He seemed to stay away from them all in fact, being there in body, but his mind was somewhere far, far away. If she didn't know any better, she would say he was missing something, wanted it back. And maybe that was exactly right, she actually realized when thinking of Tess Morgan, the love of his life that had died in a car accident many years ago. Still, the fact didn't make it easier for Cait to actually understand her boss and some kind of an inner fifth sense told her that it wasn't really the case. That whatever Harrison missed it wasn't the woman he'd lost.
Anyway, Ronnie quickly won all of her attention and before she knew it, they were dating. And she was happy about that. She needed a stable and a nice guy and what more, one that wasn't her senior in years and who wasn't exactly her boss. This relationship with Ronnie was easy, reliable and she was lucky to have him.
"Ok, I know," she then said, reminding herself about the guy's presence in the room. "I know, I'm probably late. We can…" She turned around and the rest of the words died out in her throat because Ronnie wasn't standing there. In fact, he was kneeling right in front of her, holding a small velvet box in his hand with a ring in it.
Caitlin truly didn't know what to say.
Though there was only one way this could go, wasn't there? She had to say yes and leave her old life behind, start a new one by the side of the man who was perfect for her in every way.
Dr. Wells was just making a small speech to his closest coworkers before turning on the particle accelerator, but Caitlin couldn't even register his words in her brain as she kept on turning the small ring on her finger and feeling as though she was suffocating. She was engaged.
She was engaged.
But no matter how often she repeated that in her mind, it didn't make it seem real. If so, it felt surreal, as though she was playing herself in a very bad movie.
This was what she wanted, wasn't it? Ronnie was the guy of her dreams, the love of her life and marrying him would only be a natural next step.
Dr. Wells looked at her just before pushing the button and he smiled. She couldn't help it. She forgot about all her dilemmas in that very second and smiled right back at him and brightly. He always brought this side out of her and had the ability to make her happy so effortlessly that it truly seemed magical. The last time Ronnie made her happy he'd basically forced her to bungee jump. She'd been screaming the whole way down and afterwards, she actually felt invincible, finally understanding why people might like it – because of the rush of adrenaline after it was all over. Still, she would definitely not be trying this again.
What else Ronnie would still come up with? What other brilliant-NOT idea would be seeded in his head during their lives together? She started wondering.
Did she even want to spend her life with him?
"I don't like the way he looks at you," Ronnie just then said and Caitlin frowned before turning to him and missing the moment dr. Wells pushed the button, initiating the accelerator.
"What?" she asked.
"Wells. He looks at you in a way…" Ronnie started and just then Caitlin finally understood what he meant.
"Don't be ridiculous," she immediately interrupted him, not letting him finish, but she couldn't help wondering whether he was right. Whether dr. Wells did have a thing for her and just never said anything out of… what? Work ethics? Respect? No, that was just ridiculous. He was a warm man who never let anything slide past him. He'd lost too much to let anything else go. Ronnie must've simply been a little jealous, so he was definitely seeing things.
And then it all went to hell.
The door to a private hospital room opened and Caitlin stepped inside, closing it behind her before finally bracing herself and turning to the man lying in bed.
She was the only person that he agreed to see and it meant so much to her that she was even afraid to try and understand it.
The previous night the particle accelerator had actually blown up, killing dozens of S.T.A.R. Labs employees and harming even more. Ronnie was… Ronnie was dead. Dr. Wells was paralyzed from the waist down and what more, now he was a pariah.
All it took was one night and the Labs was completely abandoned and it wasn't even because of the explosion itself. It was because no one wanted to work for Harrison Wells anymore. In the case of one night his name instead of being associated with prestige, became a new term for disaster and ruin.
There were only two people left standing by his side now – Caitlin and her best friend, Cisco, but dr. Wells only agreed to see her alone. She'd actually come very close to not even asking for that visit, seeing that he'd turned everyone else away, though mostly it was press. The fact that he had no one now, no family, no friends when seemingly before the accident everyone had loved him was devastating to Caitlin. She actually made a promise not to leave this man's side despite risking her career or maybe jeopardizing it completely. Her common sense told her that she shouldn't just throw her three doctorates and a PhD to the trash like that, but she couldn't care less. There were more important things in this world than career; things like people, like family. Without them one was truly nothing, just a cold lonely person whose only power was at their workplace.
"Dr. Wells?" Caitlin finally asked in a broken voice, hating to see him so defeated, hating to see him lie in bed and stare with empty eyes through the window. In fact, his head was turned away from her, facing the sky seen through the glass and it was the most devastating sight she could ever witness.
"If you don't want to talk or see me, I can leave," she said then, doing her best to stop the tears. She'd cried a lot the night before. In fact, she was still wearing her little black dress that she'd had on during the event, having been crying in Cisco's arms the whole time until now. She might've not been entirely sure whether marrying Ronnie was a good idea, but once he was gone, she couldn't help but feel this terrible hole inside of her. She still wasn't sure if he was the love of her life, but she did love him and the loss seemed so brutal, so unbearable, so… sudden. She couldn't even prepare herself. Just like she couldn't prepare herself for seeing Harrison like this, this broken and this vulnerable instead of being her old warm boss who always dressed up in a suit.
When he still didn't say anything, she finally sighed and turned back to the door.
"Wait," he eventually spoke and then turned his head to meet her eyes. "Oh, Caitlin," his voice softened immediately when registering the state she was in. "Come here," he invited her without thinking this through and before he knew it, she started sobbing as she walked to his bed and then somehow found herself lying on it right with him and pressing her body into his side as he reached his arm to her and put it around her.
In all the wildest scenarios he might've been imagining, this was definitely not one of them. He'd never in his bravest dreams pictured Caitlin being this close and this vulnerable by his side. He still marveled at the fact that he was holding her after all those times he wished he could. Though the circumstances now were dire. And maybe exactly that broke the dam and allowed them both to get this close. Because he couldn't get attached, fighting it for fifteen years now and if he were to be honest, recently it'd just become harder. Everything because of this one woman, this female who could disarm him with merely a small smile. He should've known better, he thought. He shouldn't have let her inside his room today, but then again, he was too weak trying to fight this. He knew he should focus on the task at hand, on finding Allen and turning him into the Flash so he could go back home, but… He hadn't exactly foreseen himself being affected by the accelerator. Right now not only his speed was gone, but also his ability to walk. It was nothing he couldn't fix in the long run, but it was driving him crazy all the same.
"I'm sorry about what happened to Raymond," he said then when finding enough courage and actually stroking Caitlin's hair, her face now pressed into the crook of his neck.
In response, she only cried harder and he could actually feel her tears on his skin. Perfect. He was lusting over a woman who was just mourning her dead boyfriend. Another proof that he shouldn't be getting too attached.
"What about you?" she finally asked, pulling away and eventually sitting on the edge of his bed. The sudden closeness to him just now registered in her brain and she felt panic welling up inside of her, because truly, what on earth was she doing?!
"I'll be fine," he said, his voice coming out hoarse.
"Dr. Wells, you can't walk and I'm… I'm so sorry this happened to you." She sobbed again.
"I think we're past the point where you should call me dr. Wells. I'm Harrison, Caitlin," he found himself say then and despite the knowledge that he really shouldn't be doing that, he reached to her face and wiped all the tears from it that he could.
She grasped his hand and held in her own for a moment. "I'll stay," she promised him when looking into his blue eyes. "In fact, Cisco and I decided to stay with you in the Labs."
"Oh, no, Caitlin, you can't," Harrison immediately protested, squeezing her hand a little. "You have a bright future ahead of you and I can't take that away from you. I found you. I recognized your talent and I know that it shouldn't go to waste."
"I don't care," she told him, the tears finally ceasing to flow, her look stubborn, the decision already made. "I won't leave. We need each other more than ever now. Work doesn't matter. People do," she insisted and he didn't have the strength to fight her on this anymore. Yet, he would try again soon. Because her presence was truly putting his entire plan at risk. Who would think? He pondered when running his fingers over the skin of her hand. Who would think that his plan would be so engendered because of one seemingly insignificant woman? A woman who – in his timeline – was long dead and buried.
And then he felt it. That thing on her finger and he truly thought Raymond was taunting him even from the grave.
"Caitlin… what?" he gasped, taking his hand away and seeing the engagement ring on her finger. "When did that happen?" he asked in shock.
"Just… before," she provided with the answer before starting to cry all over again.
Yes, she was never meant to be his, he knew that now. He would simply focus on getting himself back to his feet, on fixing his problem, on getting Allen to become the Flash so he could finally go home.
What would await him there exactly? That he didn't really want to think about because then he might realize it was truly nothing worth his efforts.