A/N: Ok, I admit, the premise of the story is completely ridiculous, but I was in the process of writing some serious snooze-fest of a story, I realized - I just wanted to have fun. The story takes place sometime in Season 9. Please note, it has pretty mature content, nudity, sexual innuendos, so please don't read if you are not old enough.
Hope you have fun! Caution: Original Character!
Wet and cold. Much colder than he should be. He struggled to his feet, feeling something sharp dig into the soles of his feet. Odd. It took him a few moments to realize why, then he felt his body. Naked. What on Earth? A wave of throbbing pain radiated on the right side of his jaw - he pressed on it slightly and winced. He recalled the smuggler's fist coming straight for his face, and then next thing was - he was waking up in…
Daniel looked around. A cave, poorly lit from above. He looked up - somewhere far above he saw a sliver of blue. The scant light illuminated his surrounding. Brushing the sharp pebbles from his soles, Daniel stepped carefully, finding a flat spot. It was most definitely a cave, small and musty. He looked around in vain hope that his clothes, and more importantly, his radio and the zat gun were somewhere nearby. No such luck. He felt a cold breeze come in from the depths of the cave, prickling his wet body, and shivered. Ok, "this is new" he imagined Jack's voice inside his head.
Without means of alerting the SG team, stuck in a cold cave he counted the ways that could bring his demise. Hypothermia was the most likely one. Thirst, hunger, and of course - any number of creatures that could be inhabiting these caves. Of course, it could also come down to the smugglers coming back and finishing him off.
Daniel cursed out loud, trying to make his way down the cave - if there is a breeze, then there might be a way out. A moment l, later he heard the sound of gravel somewhere in the far end of the chamber.
"Anyone there?" - he called out, immediately realizing that that was probably not the smartest thing to do.
"Yes." - a woman's voice called out, startling the doctor. " Dr. Jackson? Is that you?"
"Yes, and you are?" - he tried making his way in the direction of the voice, but his foot found yet another sharp stone. He cursed again. Then a head popped up from behind one of the large rock formations in the corner. He couldn't tell who it was - there was not enough light.
"Lt. Sanders, sir." - the woman stood up and took a few steps forward. She was nude as well, and tried her best to cover her breasts with one hand, and her privates with the other. Speechless, Daniel forgot his own state of undress. Then it dawned on him and he placed both hands over his own privates, feeling a deep blush spread over his cheek and chest.
"Are you OK? " - he asked.
"Apart from being stripped and shoved into this hole, yeah, I think so."
"What happened?"
"Not sure, sir. I was on the gate watch, when we were hit by several targets. . They took two of my men. I was grabbed, stripped, and brought here blindfolded. When they left, I tried finding a way out, but couldn't find any passageway out of this damn cave. Then they brought you in."
"They didn't..hurt you, did they?"
"No, sir. Other than the humiliation,I'm fine.."
"Call me Daniel, please. I do suspect that we are simply being held here temporarily, no doubt, our captors are negotiating for our sale."
"Sale?"
"We were trying to negotiate for the release of prisoners - a few from the SG-5 team, that the Lucian alliance took hostage during the recent encounter on PX99-005. Apparently they were about to be sold off as slaves. "
"I'm guessing the negotiation did not go so well."
"Not so much."
Daniel hobbled over towards the Lt., sitting down on the rock near her. He was shivering uncontrollably, so was she. He could hear her teeth chattering.
"I still don't understand the reason for stripping us, though." - she said begrudgingly, sitting down and hugging her knees close to her body.
"I imagine that they wanted to make sure that we won't make any attempt to escape or fight them."
They sat in silence for a bit.
"It's Claire, by the way."
"Pardon?"
"My name is Claire. I haven't been with CGS for that long. Thought it might be best if we were on the first name basis, seeing how we might be spending our last few hours together."
"I'm sure Mitchell and Carter are looking for us right now. Plus, if they are saving us for the sale, I doubt two dead Tau'ri will bring much on the slave market, no matter how desperate the alliance might be."
"So, any ideas? I am literally freezing my ass off."
"Same here. Well, based on the height and the width of the shaft above - I doubt that we would be able to climb out. It's worth a try, though." - Daniel said, looking above. The opening was very narrow, with jagged rocks protruding from the sides of it, threatening to tear the flesh of whomever tried scaling it.
"It's worth a try. Will you give me a boost?" - she stood up, still covering herself. Realizing the precarious situation, he could almost HEAR her blush.
"It looks far too dangerous. Why don't you let me try?"
"No offense, Daniel, but I don't think I can give you a boost. Plus, I'm somewhat...slimmer than you?"
Daniel noted that she indeed was rather slim. Athletic, but slim - long legs, graceful curve of the waist. Daniel forced himself to refocus. This was far too inappropriate to be noticing these things right now.
"Right. Well then, I must profusely apologize ahead of time for any unwanted contact that I might make. This is really...ridiculous."
Claire laughed, her voice sending musical echoes through the cave. Bats, Daniel thought. She will scare up the bats! Then he remembered - they weren't on Earth. Although, if not bats, the cave could have something much more terrifying. He looked around, pondering. If there was a breeze, there might be a way out. On the other hand, doesn't look like their captors worried about them escaping - after all, they weren't restrained in any way.
"By the way, how DID they get us in here? There is no way they would have dropped us from top." - he asked.
"Oh, no, there is an entrance. It was sealed right after I, then you got dropped off. Don't bother trying it - I poked and prodded that wall to death - I'm thinking this is not the first time this hole is being used as a holding cell." - Claire said.
Daniel looked towards the darker corner of the chamber - it looked like there could have been a way further into the cave. Claire followed his eyes and shook her head.
"Nope, tried that too. It goes into a narrow opening, eventually becoming just a crack between the walls. Without any tools or light - there is no point in trying to get through there."
"Well, I guess that really doesn't give us many options. Are you certain you want to try the "shute"?" - Daniel looked up, studying the narrow hole in the ceiling of the cave.
"I'd rather that, than wait for the assholes to return. So, how do we want to do this…"
"I guess we..I...well, I'll try to lift you, and see if you can reach the stones, pull yourself up into that opening." - Daniel stood up, his hands still around his privates. Claire stood in front of him, hugging herself as well. Finally, she started laughing nervously.
"Oh, for crying out loud. Dr. Jackson, we are both adults. Lets just get it over with. Ill show you mine, you show me yours, we will be equally embarrassed and finally move on to trying to get the hell out of here."
"Right. On the count of three?" - Daniel thought to himself, what am I five years old?
Not waiting to his to count, Claire lowered her hands, and walked towards the opening in the ceiling, surveying it. Daniel instinctively lowered his eyes, as well as his hands. Claire didn't stare at him, so he tried his best to avoid staring as well. He did find it fascinating, that even thousands of years of evolution could not suppress his ridiculous curiosity and fascination with a body of a potential mate. He tried channeling his thoughts towards helping her climb, but he also realized that he didn't have any other choice, but to hold and touch a nude (and rather attractive) female. He sighed. Come what may, it was unavoidable.
"Ok, I think I can make it into the opening, but you will need to do some serious circus act here. I'm guessing you never been a cheerleader?" - she grinned. Daniel shook his head."Dated one at least?"
Claire sighed, as Daniel shook his head "no" to that question as well. She explained to him the delicate maneuver that she was going to attempt. Daniel thought, what could be easier, she will step up on his thigh, he will hoist her on his shoulders, then she will stand on his shoulders and attempt to climb into the much-too-narrow hole at the top of the cave. Listening to her explain the plan made Daniel laugh.
"Sorry, I just...you must admit, this is just silly. But lets try it. Again, I must apologize ahead.." - he started.
"Oh, forget it. Just kneel on one knee, and lets get started. I think I'll live through you touching me. Trust me, after two tours in Iraq, I've been in far worse."
Daniel agreed mentally, he too, had been in much worse situations, but still. Claire was surprisingly limber and light, despite the fact that she was pretty tall - almost as tall as him. However, he definitely could feel the weight on his shoulder and clavicle, as she carefully climbed past his face, and carefully sat on his shoulder. There was simply no way not to touch her, and Daniel tried his best not to think of where and how he was placing his hands. The main thing was not to drop her on the cold, hard, stone floor. The sharp little pebbles dug into his soles, but he just clenched his teeth, trying to be still and balanced for her.
"Ok, we are one third of the way there. This is going to be tricky. At some point, I'm probably going to straddle your neck, please don't freak out. Some hair pulling might be involved. It's been quite a while I did this, and never with a guy." - Claire said, trying to catch her breath.
"What?"
"The cheer-leading. I used to be a cheerleader in High School. Quite a good one, actually, we won at the all-state for two years straight. Ok, just hold still."
Daniel held his breath. For a split second, he felt a brush of silky soft pubic hair brush his cheek. Oh my god, he though, not right now. Just stay calm. Stop being such an animal. Desperate times, desperate measures, and all that. You don't even know her!
But his body was starting to betray him. He felt the familiar twinge below his waist. He thought of the rocks around them. Rock hard rocks. Dammit! He thought of Spaceships. Goa'Uld spaceships. The kind of Goa'uld that would fly and abduct people, like his wife, his sweet, innocent, sexy wife...Dammit!
"Am I hurting you?" - she asked. Daniel realized that her feet were on his shoulders. Simply amazing, he thought.
"No, you are fine. Are you able to reach it now?" - "
Yeah, but I need you to take a teensy weensy step to the right."
"Are you serious?!"
"Yeah, we, somehow, missed the hole. Hang on, I'll sit back down, before I fall. Unless you can move smoothly."
"Have no idea, to be honest. It's up to you. I'm not planning on going anywhere." - he said. Luckily, this was taking his mind off the throbbing in his cock.
"Ok, then just smoothly, like you are gliding over the water, take two steps to the right. Go."
Daniel made a step. He felt her topple, but regaining her balance quickly. Magnifiscent. He made another step - Claire was still on top.
"Perfect! Ok, here we go, just stand still, and prepare to catch me just in case. Look up, dammit, stop being such a prude. If I fall, I'm going to break both of our necks. Like you haven't seen what I got before."
Daniel felt both: hot and freezing cold at the same time. He lifted his face, just to find himself face to face with a fine example of womanhood right over his head.
"See, it won't bite. Just be sure to try and catch me if I fall, deal?"
"Deal. Please don't fall." - Daniel said quietly. He just thought of a new way to die in this cave - embarrassment.
Clair, with surprising strength, pulled herself up into the hole, wriggling her body between the rocks. She was blocking the light, and he realized that if she falls, he might not even see it coming at this point.
"Clair, I can't see anything. You gotta tell me how you are doing."
"Doing...Ok I guess. Its narrow up here, much narrower than I thought. I'm going to try...Ughh." - she groaned. "Dammit, that's going to leave a mark. I'm good, I'm good. I'm going to try to push further."
"You might get stuck." - it dawned on Daniel, and panic rose up in his throat. - "Get down, hey, come on. Lets think of something else."
"Jeez, calms your tits, Dr. Jackson. I won't get stuck. I've done caving before you know. True, never with my booger hanging out and getting sand-papered by the rocks on my bare ass, but still. I know I can get closer."
Daniel raised his eyebrow. Booger? Claire made another pained groan and a shower of dust covered his face. Daniel coughed, trying to get it out of his mouth. Rubbing his eyes, he still tried his best to keep an eye on her.
"Almost there...Nope, not really." - she said. Her voice was strained. "HEEEY! ANYONE?! WE ARE IN HERE! HELP!"- Claire yelled towards the opening. It sounded unconvincing, like she was not used to calling for help. Not in this manner at least. "HELLOOOO!"
They both listened, but no sound came from above. Nothing from the side of the cave either, where the entrance supposedly was.
"Crap. Well, I really gotta tell you, Dr. J…"
"Daniel"
"Daniel. I don't think I'm making it any further. I'm going to start climbing down. You will need to help me down, once I'm out. I'll let you know when I'm getting close."
Daniel looked up, trying not to rub his eyes, but it stung. Tiny dust particles were scratchy, his eyes watered. Suddenly, he heard her yelp, and before he realized what happened, he was pinned down under hundred and something pound body. Daniel froze - Claire was quiet. Is she dead? Of, God, please, no!
"Claire?" - he called out, trying not to move. She might have a broken neck, back, who knows?
"Yes, Dr. J?" - she was very still, laying across his body. "Did I break you?"
"Not sure, but I can move, I think. How about you?"
"I know I'm going to hurt, but I don't think I actually broke anything. I'm definitely bleeding though." - Claire said quietly. Daniel said a silent prayer for that to be true, the not breaking anything part. He helped her shift her body off of his, and immediately saw a large bloody scrape down the side of her hip. She tried to sit up, and stifled a moan.
"Is it bad?"
"Pretty bad, but shouldn't bleed too much."
"Should we wash it out?"
"Frankly, I don't know if the water in this cave can be trusted" - he looked over at the pitiful and shallow puddle, that he, himself was laying in just earlier. - "Sorry, I really did try to be there for you."
"No sweat, Dr. J, I told you, I've seen and had worse."
Daniel didn't want to stare, but he couldn't help but notice a couple of pinkish round scars on her calf. there were more scars decorating her thigh. As if feeling Daniel's careful gaze on her body, she said:
"Caught a few bullets near Fallujah a few years back, nothing major. Guys dig scars, right? " - she moaned, but tried to muster a smile. Daniel returned her smile, but inside he tried to count how much time she would have before the infection sets in. If they lucky, they are found soon. Really lucky if it would be their own team, coming to get them. Worse - if the Bark'kr brothers come back and haul them off to some slave market. It's doubtful they will bother to treat Claire's wounds. It was more likely that they will leave her here to die slowly and alone, and then use him to either sell to the highest bidder, or as a bargaining piece for whatever crazy piece of technology they think the Tau'ri are willing to trade for him.
"Here, lets move to a smoother spot." - Daniel helped her up. Together, they made it over to the far end of the cave. They were losing daylight, that much was apparent. The cave was growing dimmer by the minute, and colder as well. The adrenaline must have started to wear off, because Daniel started shivering again. Claire was shivering as well. They huddled in the corner, on the smoothest piece of rock that they could find, hugging one another.
On one hand, there are worse things to die. On the other hand, I really am scared for Claire, he thought. It wasn't hard to bond with a stranger, he noted, not in these extraordinary conditions. He could tell that being brave about it wasn't an act for this woman - it seemed to come natural to her. Despite the shivering, her eyes looked as determined as before, when she was scaling his body to freedom. She must have seen worse indeed.
"I wish I could do something. Sorry."
"Nah, It's not your fault. Hey, when I was called up to Cheyenne base, I was ecstatic. I never thought I'd be doing this, of course, but trust me, no matter what happens - I would never regret this. Ride of a lifetime, right?"
"Right. Here. Lean against me. I do think we are going to freeze to death here afterall."
"You know, if you ask me, this is a crap place to store human cargo. And if they do use it to stash slaves, I wonder how many survive." - she said thoughtfully.
"The Bark'krs are not known for their intellectual prowess, but whatever they lack in logic and preparation, they more than make up with completely lack of compassion and empathy."
"Reminds me of my first drill sergeant. If there was a walking cliche, straight out of FMJ, it was him."
"FMJ?"
"Full Metal Jacket, you know,the movie?"
"Ah, yeah."
"And another thing," - she continued, as if trying to keep them both from silently pondering their fate in the darkness, that was now settling in every corner of the chamber. "Wouldn't it make sense to have some sort of a chip implanted into everyone in SGC? Would be a hellova easier to find people. I mean how many times we lost you? Just in the past couple of months - three, four?"
Daniel smiled.
"You keeping tabs on me?"
Claire didn't say anything, but shifted against his torso. He hugged her closer, trying to meld his body into hers. The heat between them made this bearable, but only enough to not pass out.
"Hey, Dr. J, since we are going to die anyway, I gotta tell you something. You are kind of a..you know..hottie." - she said. Even in the darkness, Daniel could tell that she was grinning. Strangely enough, her confession didn't embarrass him. It was strange, and flattering, and unusual. He thought of himself many things, but a "hottie' wasn't one of them.
"Thanks?"
"I mean, you are still a huge geek, but I heard about some of the things you've been through. For someone who spent most of his life his nose in the books, you kick some serious ass, you know that?"
"If you say so, but to be honest, Teal'c and Mitchell do most of that, not me. I get lucky, occasionally."
"Not from what I heard. " - she elbowed him slightly. Daniel looked at her, then chuckled.
"Not what I are making me sound more exciting than I really am. Carter is the brains. Teal'c is the muscle. Mitchell is the.."
"Also pretty hot."
"I was going to say "guts"." - he said.
"You must be the heart, then?" - He felt her arms around him tighten. Only now, he suddenly became aware of a pair of warm breasts, pressing sweetly against his ribcage. It felt nice. Terrifying but nice. Half of his body was frozen stiff, but the other bathed in the heat of this intriguing young woman.
"I think SG-1 team will disagree with that assessment. I fall into the "reckless endangerment of the team" category." - Daniel said, laughing.
"Cute, self deprecating humor on a hot guy. But seriously though, you are a bit of a celebrity around the base. Kind of like a rock star. So,I gotta tell you that there are more than one female SF on the base that wouldn't mind finding out what's behind those hot librarian glasses of yours. And a couple of male ones, but shh, you didn't ask, and I didn't tell."
Daniel wasn't sure what to say. It was both awkward and sweet. He noticed that she moved one of her legs between his, scooting closer. He didn't mind one bit. He could feel her warm breath on his neck and cradled her closer to him.
"Lets try to get some sleep?" - he said, feeling that if they continue with this, he will have to try to talk himself down from actions that would be highly inappropriate at this point. Criminally inappropriate.
"Sure, I'd rather die in my sleep anyway." - she nuzzled her face into his neck. "Just kidding. We'll be fine. We are always poke me when SG-1 is here, deal?"
"Deal."
He listened to her breath in the darkness. The cave was completely dark now, as if he suddenly went blind. The shivering didn't subside, but he did start to feel sleepier. Hypothermia must be setting in, he thought. Whydon't we have subcutaneous GPS implants, he wondered. I should ask Carter about that when I get back.
If I get back….So soft...she thinks that I'm hot...so cold….Daniel's eyelids felt heavy, and he felt the cold and the darkness close in on him.