Kids
By rese
Summary: When losses won't give way to gains, who can you turn to?
Disclaimer: We should all know by now that Louisa M. Alcott owns Little Women.
A/N: Inspired by RueRoyale's All Our Yesterdays. Ok, so I didn't get to finish reading it, but the part where Amy doesn't want to have kids and Laurie does drives this story. Probably going to be written along the same vein as PL. Maybe. I'm pretty naïve about pregnancy, having never experienced it so if stuff is wrong or offensive I apologise. It's only LW fanfic so don't get your knickers in a not.
…
Amy stared at her belly, or rather the flat surface which had replaced the beautiful bump her husband had rubbed so adoringly. She watched as her own hand touched her skin, feeling at first the vile distaste for the appearance before she forced the torturous melancholy.
She had lost her baby. She wasn't strong enough and she hated herself for it. Hated that she could not sustain the life that had grown within her for nine months and she had pushed, burst and squeezed out of her.
It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. She wished it never happened.
Amy sat down, eyes unfocused as the desperate emotions coursed through her mind. She had loved her daughter. Loved her with all her heart and it was so cruel of God to take her away after she'd shared her love with him as well. And Laurie! Blessed Laurie, he'd cared just as much and she'd failed, hurt him too with her weakness.
It had been a year and she was still lost in the thickness of lost. But she knew it would pass soon if she could just forget. Or was it remember to move on?
…
"It hurts so much, Jo" he had whispered, not three days after Amy gave birth. The child was not expected to outlast the week let alone the month. His daughter would never see her first birthday. His daughter might never see.
She had cried with him, rocking him like a mother, grieving before it was time.
"Oh, Laurie, I'm so sorry," said Jo, a little more colourfully than the last time he heard her say it, surprising him out of his reverie.
"Jo," he reminded gently and she quickly shut her mouth, moving to embrace him in greeting. It was the only thing Amy would say to him and Jo having picked up the habit from Jo early in the birth. He never wanted to hear that sentence again.
"I know, I know, but if you didn't leave all this rubbish about I wouldn't have tripped over and then tripped up!" Jo lectured, frowning at the messy piles about the study. Laurie had told his friend about her sister's decline and Jo had immediately taken arms, ready to clean, soothe and cheer for the Laurences. Even if her husband had been a little inconvenienced by the short trip to see his wife.
"Yes, well, genius does burn, Jo, as you should know." Laurie grinned lopsidedly as his sister-in-law rushed about madly trying to collect the cleaning.
"Oh don't talk to me of that! You know I've given up 'scribbling' for quite some time. It was driving me well mad; I can only seem to write for one theme." And from the slight quiver in Jo's lips, Laurie was certain the theme wasn't pleasant.
"Well," said Laurie at a loss for words. He moved to sit back down, keener to watch Jo 'become industrious' as Amy once said and reacquaint himself with his dearest friends mannerisms.
Jo had lost all awkwardness in her figure and as a man, he knew well that a woman such as she should be appreciated. Of course, Jo was never known for her beauty but more her character and it was there that Laurie felt so much pride. She was the most caring, passionate and endearing woman he knew. Aside from his wife, of course he quickly added to his thoughts.
"Stop staring," Jo called, bent in half and looking the opposite way.
"How does she always know?" Laurie wondered before answering. "I was only admiring…"
A sharp glare was all he received before he was left alone again.