Authors Note: Hullo everyone. I'm a large fan of Presea, and I've noticed that yuri is pretty much non-existent for her, for I decided to help the small Shoujo-ai community with this fic. I sincerely hope everyone enjoys. Please R/R. Thank you.
Questions For a Living Doll
"WHY HAVE YOU COME, PRESEA?"
"I am...confused..."
The ax girl sat in a hard wooden chair inside of Altessa's home.
With her mind's revival, she could think, feel, and act according to her own free will.
She was troubled though. Her thinking was fuzzy, it was hard to know exactly what she thought or felt. She still felt as if she could not act of her own free will. She felt like a puppet still, doing whatever people like Vharley asked of her, and she hated the feeling of helplessness.
There was only one person she believed would understand her. So, with Lloyd's reluctant permission, she took a Rheaird and came to the living doll, Martel's failed vessel, Tabatha's home.
"WHY ARE YOU EXPERIENCING CONFUSION?"
Tabatha had agreed to listen to her problem, yet, now Presea could not think of what she wanted to actually say.
Why was she here? Why was she robbed of her time? Why was it hard to feel and think?
What is...love? And the feeling of discomfort she felt, was it sadness?
Anguish over what she could not do?
What was hate? Was it the feeling for Vharley, Mithos, Altessa, Cruxis, Rodyle, Regal, everyone? Was it hate of herself for disliking the others? What was it?
Why did it have to be her? Why was she the chosen experiment?
Why did Alicia die? Why not someone else?
Why?
None of these thoughts she could say. They plagued her mind, but she could ignore the questions.
If she spoke them, they would breathe life and become true, for all to know, and then Presea would have nothing.
No family, friends, identity, or feelings.
She would be like the angels of Cruxis.
Like the cold, distant, lifeless beings in Welgaia.
Like she and Colette once was.
When she felt a gentle hand placed on her shoulder, she looked up.
Had she been shaking? Was she ...afraid?
"PRESEA, WHAT IS BOTHERING YOU?"
She stared, Tabatha's eyes captivating her. They were so...empty.
Tabatha was what she feared. She was a doll, and yet, she had emotions, and feelings, didn't she?
Was she just like Presea? A confused being?
"I...am...scared." Presea forced.
Tabatha's gentle hand didn't move, and began to comfort Presea.
Strange. She could feel anger, fright, and comfort. Then why could she not register other emotions?
Why must she partake in this pain?
"I...do not know how I feel...I am confused. Everything is strange."
She confided. "I am scared of not feeling. I do not know who I like, hate, or how I feel about...others."
She began to shake, slowly.
This was anguish.
A computable emotion. The first emotion she experienced when she had regained her soul.
Anguish over her father.
"I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE FEELING, PRESEA. I OFTEN WONDER IF MY EMOTIONS ARE REAL, AND NOT JUST SYNTHETIC. BUT JUST WONDERING AFFIRMS MY ANSWER."
Presea gasped softly, staring at the taller girl.
"IT IS TRUE THAT I AM A LIVING DOLL, BUT I DO HAVE FEELINGS AS WELL."
"But...what about love and hate? What if I..." Presea's voice trailed off. Anguish was a computable emotion. Perhaps too much so.
"IF YOU FEEL ENJOYMENT AROUND SOMEONE, THEN YOU CARE FOR THEM.
IF YOU BARE ILL FEELINGS TO THEM, THAN YOU DISLIKE THEM."
Tabatha explained.
Who did she dislike? Vharley, Rodyle, and the people who used her...
Who did she enjoy being with? Lloyd, Colette, Genis, the Professor, but what about...?
"Tabatha..." she asked softly. "What if you both like, and dislike someone?"
"THEN IT IS YOUR DECISION ON WHERE TO PLACE THEM IN YOUR EMOTIONS."
Her decision? Her...choice? Regal had killed her sister...but he was trying to make up for it as well...
"I...see." She liked Regal. Even if she wasn't strong enough to forgive him yet, she would give him a chance.
"HAVE I HELPED YOU IN YOUR SEARCH FOR ANSWERS?" Tabatha asked softly, and Presea nodded slowly.
"Yes...I have...just one more question."
"THEN I WILL DO MY BEST TO HELP YOU."
"What...how...do you feel like...when you...love...someone?"
"LOVE SOMEONE?"
"Yes...in a...ah...romantic sense." She asked, trying to correctly place the words. She blushed, not even realizing this meant she was embarrassed.
"NO ONE CAN TRULY ANSWER THAT. YOU WILL KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE."
"I...see...it is confusing...but, I will do my best to try and understand."
Tabatha smiled. "YES. LIKE WHEN I SHOWED YOU THE SECRET OF THE EXSPHERES."
Presea smiled back, very slowly. "Yes...like that time."
Tabatha sank to her knees and pulled the younger girl into a warm embrace.
"IF I CAN ONLY TEACH YOU ONE MORE THING, IT IS THAT YOU MUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, AND NEVER DOUBT WHO YOU ARE."
When the embrace was broken, Tabatha showed the surprised girl a soft smile.
Presea blushed, understanding. She could verify this. Nervousness, and embarrassment.
"YOU MAY NEED TO HURRY BACK TO YOUR..."
"..My friends...yes." Presea finally smiled.
"Thank you Tabatha...for everything."
"ANYTIME PRESEA. ANYTIME."
Presea stood, and computing...no, feeling hope course through her, she left to face the day.
-end-