Title: Go West
Author: Blue and Red
Characters/Pairings: Ohtori/Shishido, and Sanada/Atobe if you squint really hard.
Author's Notes: This started out as an Ohtori birthday/ Valentines' Day fic. Atobe was supposed to show up of all for five seconds but somehow from there he managed to monopolize the better part of the fic. Confound that diva.

It was a quiet Monday afternoon and a warm hazy mood seemed to have settled over the church nestled in the hills near a small town. The previous day's congregation had been unusually large and Sanada Genichirou, resident priest, had given the day off to his parish workers. Which was how altar boy Ryoma ended up doing all the menial chores that were usually Brother Nanjirou's responsibilities. He was out in the grounds watering the church's small plot of land when the horsemen thundered up to him.

"You there, boy. Direct us to the nearest church," an imposing man in a blindingly white suit with a purple silk cravat commanded imperiously from astride his horse.

Ryoma glared at him; the horse's hooves were dangerously near the vegetable patch.

"Mada mada dane. Today is Monday."

The man gave a contemptuous sniff.

"Ore-sama is aware of that. Now, the nearest church."

"Over there." Ryoma gave a disinterested wave in the general direction of the church building and turned back to his watering. This man was dressed like a dandy and the men behind him looked like gunmen for hire. He'd let Father Sanada deal with them.

"Kabaji, take this brat with us. He can help if his directions prove false."

"Usu." A large man on an even larger hose rode up and a hand the size of a collection plate descended. Ryoma ducked but the hand grabbed and caught him by the collar of his shirt. The next thing he knew, he was dangling well above the ground, held out at arm's length by the tanned giant.

"Hey! Put me down!" Ryoma flailed about hopelessly for a few seconds before stopping and sagged resignedly. Once he was no longer struggling, Kabaji swung him in front of him on the horse and they took off at a gallop.

As terrifying as it was to be racing over the ground on the back of some huge beast (Was it even a horse? It was so big!), Ryoma couldn't help but gawk at the rest of the gang. He hadn't seen it earlier because the person had been hiding at the back of the group, but one of the horse, er, men was wearing one of the most beautiful wedding dresses he had ever seen.

The illusion of maidenly loveliness was shattered when the she opened her mouth.

"What are you staring at?" she snapped.

The woman was rather unfeminine, Ryoma decided. Even if she had really gorgeous chestnut hair that was artfully piled on the top of her head. (Ryoma was partial to girls with long, pretty hair done up nicely.) Definitely not a lady – her familiar control of her horse bespoke of years of experience, not of the kind that "proper" women were exposed to.

"Nothing," he said out loud. "Are you getting married to that monkey king?"

Her gaze followed Ryoma's pointed finger and she sputtered violently, turning a most unbecoming shade of red.

"Don Atobe? Hell, no!"

He shrugged. "Just wondering."

"Boy!" The Don turned around and called out haughtily, "How long before we get there?"

"You can see the rectory from here… It shouldn't take more than a couple of minutes."

True enough, they arrived at Father Sanada's door in that amount of time.

Choutarou adjusted the collar of his shirt nervously. He, Ohtori Choutarou, was going to be a married man in less than a few hours! Don Atobe had promised him that it would come to pass, and it would, because it was beneath Atobe to go back on his word. Choutarou's heart beat faster as his boss rapped sharply on the door of the priest's residence. He wanted to be married, he had wanted to for so long. Partly because he thought people who had done the things he and his bride-to-be had really ought to be married to one another. And partly because he had a bit of a jealous streak – not that he'd ever admit that to Shishido-san.

The door opened the reveal a stern-looking man in the simple habit of a monk.

"Can I help you?"

"Ore-sama would like to see the priest of this church."

"I am he." The priest glanced at the gang behind Atobe and his lips flattened into a thin line. "Did our altar boy do something?"

"Your… altar boy has been providing us with directions." Atobe looked intently at him. "Father Sanada."

"Then I must request that you return him to his duties."

Atobe nodded at Kabaji who lowered Ryoma to the ground unceremoniously by the back of his shirt. The novice scrambled over to Sanada as soon as his feet hit the ground and opted to watch form the relative safety of behind the priest.

"Alright," continued Sanada. "What can I do for you?"

"Ore-sama has promised this man," a vague wave in Choutarou's direction, "that he will be married today. Yours is the only church around here."

Sanada spared Choutarou a glance, and then turned back to Atobe.

"Your request is unusual, but I see no reason not to perform this ceremony if the couple and their families have no objections."

"Um, Father? Our families don't mind. And we both want to get married," Choutarou offered nervously. He didn't have any experience in this sort of thing, and he really hoped he wouldn't do anything wrong.

"Still, I would like to speak to the bride first."

There was a bit of an argument at the back of the group and a horse moved forward. Seated on it was an undoubtedly beautiful bride. Somewhat at odds with her image, the bride spoke in a low growl.

"I wish to be married to this man."

"Well, there you have it. We shall proceed to the chapel for the wedding without wasting anymore time."

"I'm afraid I cannot allow that." Sanada planted his feet more firmly in the doorway. "The couple may be willing, but the bride is no woman!"

Ryoma gawked from behind the priest. Not a woman? Then the attractive bride was a… man? He'd never considered the possibility that men too might be pretty…

"These two love each other. How dare you refuse them this union."

"It is against nature—"

Click. Sanada suddenly found he was face-to-face with the barrel of a revolver.

"This pointless debate is beneath ore-sama," declared Atobe loftily. "You will marry them, or you will find a bullet embedded in your skull."

"Death is nothing if it is in the service of the Lord."

The fingers of Atobe's free hand ascended to his face – not in frustration, but a gesture that the gang recognised as an indication of Atobe having one of his infamous flashes of insight.

His weakness… I see it!

"The nearby parochial town supports you," Atobe said slowly. "They must have welcomed you here not too long ago… Are they aware of your past?"

Sanada stiffened. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I mean, Emperor."

Unbidden, the indistinct memory of a hot, dusty town from the distant past rose up in Sanada's mind. The man holding him at gun-point was indeed familiar – someone he had clashed with once upon a time, before he was ordained…

"Put that gun down," said Sanada. "We will take this elsewhere. Echizen," he turned to the wide-eyed boy, "bring me the contents of the bottom drawer in my room."

"Ohtori, if you could have anything you want, what would you like for your birthday?"

Choutarou hesitated.

"Come now, don't be shy.

"I… I want to get married to Shishido-san!"

"I suspected as much." Atobe smirked at Choutarou. "Ore-sama will make it come to pass."

Two men stood back-to-back in the middle of the steppes, afternoon sun beating down on them mercilessly.

"I'll call," drawled Oshitari. "On the count of three, draw your guns."

This is so surreal, thought Choutarou. Don Atobe is having a showdown with a priest – who supposedly was one of the most notorious gunmen in these parts many years ago – just to make my partnership with Shishido-san official. He stole another glance at his "bride"-to-be. They were really going through with this.

"One."

The gang leader and priest took several steps away from each other.

"Two."

Shishido gazed intensely at his boss. Atobe was of course utterly confident of winning this duel, but Shishido couldn't help but feel a little moved by the risk he was running. Not that he'd tell the Don that.

"Three!"

The word had no sooner been called than two gunshots rang out in rapid succession. One went wild because the first had found its mark.

"Father Sanada!" Ryoma rushed up to the priest who was crouched on the ground, blood staining his habit at the shoulder. He'd never seen the priest move so fast before – he'd never seen anyone move that fast before, period. And yet… Don Atobe had been faster. The altar boy peeked at the gang boss; he was smirking triumphantly.

"Be awed at the sight of my prowess."

"Echizen…" grunted Sanada, "help me tie a tourniquet."

Once his shoulder was bound with a strip torn from the alter boy's shirt, Sanada got to his feet. "I will perform this ceremony for you and then you will leave this place."

Atobe just looked at him even more smugly, if it was possible. "Let's return to the church, Father."

"You may now kiss the bride." It was obvious that the last word was especially difficult for Sanada to cough out. Every bit of the ritual had to be ground out by the priest; it was likely that only Atobe's threat to reveal his true identity kept him going.

Everyone in the chapel ignored Sanada's pain (both physical and mental) in favour of clapping for the newlyweds.

Choutarou lifted the veil covering Shishido's face and touched his cheek tenderly. "I love you," he whispered, before leaning down to claim his prize.

The chaste kiss quickly turned into something more passionate. The cheers degenerated into catcalls accordingly.

"Get a room!" leered Mukahi.

Next to him, Oshitari blew his nose into a handkerchief. "You can't deny that they're genuinely sweet together, though."

The display of affection went on for a while before Shishido and Ohtori finally broke apart to a final round of thunderous applause.

"That's enough," said Sanada, annoyed. "Get out of here before I throw all of you out."

Atobe sniffed. "You are spoiling the show, Father."

"I only agreed to have the ceremony here. Anything else they want to do should be done in private."

"Hmph. Let us leave this wet blanket behind. It is a time for celebration!"

"Usu."

"Awesome!"

"Finally."

"The local inn had better have a honeymoon suite…"

"Shishido-san!"