This has been one hell of a day. Who knew life could be such a bitch? Yuriy sure hadn't been expecting it, especially with his past and all. His mom and dad got to have him just to abandon him at a time when he needed them most. If he hadn't found Boris and agreed to live at the abbey that Balcov ran, he would have never made it.
Yuriy has been with Juila for almost three years now and its' been great until having kids was brought up. It might have seemed to their fellow Beyblade mates that Julia is the only one suffering but though he may not let anyone know, it breaks his heart. He has cried over the two lost lives of his children who never made it past 9 weeks in their mommy's belly.
He has wondered what they would have turned out like, if him telling them his horrors when they were old enough for them to understand, just how much parents mean to kids. What he could have had done differently to make sure his kids didn't suffer like he has and to teach his kids to be better parents themselves. To not feel lonely and worthless and a huge disappointment like he feels.
Julia said she wanted to try again. To try one more time to have a kid. To try one more time for them to be parents, to see and mold an beautiful soul that belonged to them.
Yuriy stared at the home pregnancy test. He wished Julia hadn't threw it at him and then run out the room crying. What is he supposed to do? This wasn't easy for him, you know!? He was horrified, from the fear creeping into his bones and from the insecure thoughts of being a failure. He knew he couldn't do much for them but he can try.
Those two lines, will this be another failure or will they finally get to be a family together? Can he do it, or will he destory this child's life like adults has done for him when he was a child? What should he do? Run after her? Cry by himself again? Pretend this isn't happening?
No, he will go to Julia. They will talk and they will deal with this, for better or for worse. Maybe she might lose this baby too but damn if they can't deal will this together, its time for her to know, to know that, he too, is upset about the previous miscrriages and how much he fears this one. He doesn't want to lose her so he knows he needs to talk to her and open up. To tell the truth about his feelings, no matter how small he feels about telling someone.
He wants this baby. He wants to be a dad, and a far better one then his own. He loves Julia more than she may ever know and he will love this baby regradless. He wants her to know, he isn't heartless.