AN: My, what a trip down angst road I decided Akito should have. Naturally this fic came from the recesses of my mind, so you should be very warned. I think this is actually my first angst-filled one shot, apparently there's a first for everything and this would be it; it's really short too – drabblish. Please review and feel free to leave constructive criticism. All flames will go in the fireplace and heat my house – winter's soon ya know!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or anything affiliated with the show. Don't sue me; you wouldn't get anything if you try.

Burn Out

The flame reminds me of life. It burns hot, painful to touch, yet beautiful to behold. It gives off a warmth that delights the senses, and it brings memories of the past to the forefront of the mind. Yet a gentle breeze kills the flame. A slight jar and the candle's life will expire. Then the room is left in cold and darkness – much as my life. My candle burns ever nearer to the bottom, and soon it shall go out.

How I hate that forsaken candle. If I could put it out myself I would, but I don't have the strength, so I wait patiently for the moment when the last drop of wax flows to the ground and the flicker dies. That is my fate, my curse, and my fucking excuse for a life.

I'm not feeling well today, and this is what I do when I feel myself slipping just a little further from what I was a day before. I sit and think. I sit and wonder about a world I can never have, a place filled with dreams of the future, something I do not cherish for myself. I can't. If I stopped, even for just a moment, and seriously considered what I wanted, it would kill me sooner. It can do nothing for me to dream for things that aren't mine, and never have been mine – wishes.

My family has dreams and wishes; I know they do. Perhaps they should try harder and hide that fact from me, but they don't put much effort forth. I know all about their little pathetic ambitions, their secret loves that I'm not supposed to find out about. They think they can have such things and be happy. Sadly they are happy. I am left by the wayside, waiting for the end of suffering and they are…happy.

All things considered, including the curse, they are very fortunate. The future is a clean canvass for them, and they may paint to their little hearts content. Any color, any medium, it's a choice they must make, but it will be their choice. That is my reason, that is my point for making it through just another grueling day; I don't like it, but I don't have a choice - unlike some.

If I did have a choice in the matter, an understanding that I wouldn't be waiting for the last sunset I may see, or a night's sleep I may never awaken from, if fate were in my hands I don't think I would know what to do with it. Maybe I would just sit around as I do now and try to make the most of what little I have left, but I'd like to think I would relish the freedom of it all.

"Akito?"

Oh yes, there he is, Hatori; someone who at least has to see my misery up close. He notices, and that is why I enjoy making him miserable, so he can experience first hand what I go through.

"What?"

He looks worried, and I can't say I know why. There is nothing to worry about anymore when we all have a good idea of what is going to happen soon.

"Why don't you go sit out on the deck and get some sun?"

My, won't that help me so much. I can sit and wait for that giant star in the distance to crisp me. It won't happen all at once, working slowly will be it's surest victory. It's a wonderful idea of Hatori's, so I take him up on it and wander off out unto the deck and sprawl out in the afternoon glow.

It's so warm.

I didn't think it would feel so good, but it does. It burns, but I don't mind the burn. A reminder, that's what it feels like, telling me I'm not dead yet.

My candle hasn't burned out yet.