This is a sample chapter of a story that I was thinking of writing and posting on here. Read, review, and tell me what you think. It's like a combination of Naruto, Blood+, and Avatar but done tastefully. Should I write the story or not.
'Thought'
"Talking"
Starting this sucker at Sakura and Ino's match. And I don't own Naruto.
The tension in the air was thick and with anticipation and sweat. Names flickered on the computer screen at a rapid pace, holding the attention of every shinobi in the room. The names slowed then stopped with a beep.
Sakura
Vs
Ino
Time seemed to stop for the selected girls. Sakura's eyes widen a fraction but she hid her surprise and coolly walked past Ino to the stairs. Ino snapped out of her stupor and followed Sakura down the stairs at a distance.
Taking their places on the arena's floor, Sakura on the far side and Ino on the home side, the girls stared each other down. "So billboard brow, you ready to lose." Ino said with a smirk. "Or you could just save yourself the embarrassment and forfeit the match. Either way you're going down."
Sakura was frozen in her tracks. 'I can't move. She must have hidden chakra strings in her ponytail.'
"Fell for it hook, line, and sinker, now mind transfer jutsu!"
Inside Sakura's mind
"Ha, I'm in now all I have to do is make Sakura forfeit the match. But first I'll just have a look Sakura's head, maybe find some embarrassing memories to blackmail her with." Ino snickered as she walked around her rivals head. "Man its pitch black in here I can't see a thing." Ino complained and just as she said that torches began to light up all around her. She followed the torches and came to a gigantic door way. It was made of thick metal, covered with dents, slash marks and seal shut with chains and a lock.
"Ah I think I just hit the jackpot. With all those chains this must where Sakura keeps her most embarrassing moments." Ino said.
She pulled out a kunai and began to pick the lock.
Back to the match
Ino's body sat slumped over on the floor, her hair scattered in front of her. Sakura stood motionless, her head hung down. "Uh Kakashi-sensei what's going on. Neither of them is moving. It's kind of freaking me out." Naruto asked. "I don't know Naruto; I'm not familiar with the Yamanaka jutsu."
"Hey Shikamaru, do you think Ino missed." Chouji asked his lazy teammate.
"Nah she hit her target without any problem. Knowing Ino she's mostly playing around in Sakura's mind." He answered.
"Well whatever's happening Sakura can handle it. She'd never let someone like Ino beat her." Naruto proclaimed. He walked over to the railing, cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted "SAKURA, SNAP OUT OF IT! COME ON I KNOW YOU BEAT INO!"
Sakura's Mind
"Finally, I thought I'd never get that stupid lock off." Ino complained. She placed her hands on the cold metal door and pushed. The door groaned as she continued to push it open. Once the door was opened wide enough, Ino slipped inside. The only thing inside the room was torches and a full length mirror that stood in the middle of the room. The rim of the mirror was dark red and black tassels dangled from the corners.
"Oh come on, I did all that work just to find a crummy old mirror. I was hoping for juicy secrets." She walked closer to the mirror and stroked the sides. 'Wait maybe this is one of those memory mirrors my dad was always yapping on about. It seems I'll get some juicy info after all.' Ino thought with a grin. Ino poked the mirror and watched as the glass surface rippled like water. She placed her hands on the rim of the mirror, closed her eyes, and stepped through.
Inside the memory mirror
Ino opened her eyes and looked at her surroundings. "This looks like a rundown village." she thought. She tried to turn her head to get a better look but couldn't move. 'What in the world! Why can't I move?' Suddenly she began to move. She felt herself stumble and falter in her steps. 'I don't know what's going on but I'm not in my body that's for sure.' Then the person Ino was inhabiting stepped in what felt like a puddle.
'Wait, this does not feel like water. It feels more like…'
Blood…
Bmp-Bump
They run, screaming trying to avoid the blade…
Bmp-Bump
One body goes down then any and any…
Bmp-bump
Cries of pain, pleads of mercy fall on deaf ears…
Bmp-Bump
'W-what are t-these terrible flashes of memory. So much blood and death.'
The last body falls dead…
Bmp-Bump
The sword is lowered,
Bmp-Bump
'These can't be Sakura's memories it has to be someone else. Sakura never mentioned she lived in another or that the people were murdered.'
I hunch over a puddle of blood
'I must be in the mind of the killer. I have to get out of here.'
Bmp-Bump
'The reflection'
Bmp-Bump
'Is'
Bmp-Bump
'Sakura'