Try them, try them, and you may! Try them and you may, I say.
Dr. Seuss
She doesn't know where she's driving. She doesn't know where her final destination will be. She doesn't even know if she has enough gas to continue on her path.
All she knows is that there are bruises all over her body. They are big and purple and they demand attention. She needs to get away. She needs to smell sunshine.
Sunshine.
x
The highway is flooded with cars zooming passed her in colorful blurs. She's humming to a song she doesn't recognize, her fingers tapping along the surface of the steering wheel. All the windows are pulled down. The sun hits her with its rays, illuminating her short, auburn hair and making her green eyes glisten.
Evening is approaching and the sky is slowly darkening. She purses her lips in thought.
She doesn't know where to go.
She wonders if she can drive forever.
x
It's ten o'clock at night. Around her, the air is chilly. She shivers in her thin coat and shorts. She should've packed better clothes. She squints lazily at the signs that fill her vision. Las Vegas was just twenty miles away. She grins. Years ago, she had dreamed of visiting Sin City. The lights and the entertainment and the dry weather.
Sighing, she peers to her left and finds a car pulled over to the side. Probably an accident or some sort of vehicle problem. She brings her foot to the pedal again, but stops when she catches a glimpse of a hunched figure leaning against the hood of the car.
She knows weakness when she sees it. She pulls over quickly and she isn't aware of the beeps and curse words that are thrown out at her. Her pickup truck screeches in protest but does as she demands.
In the midst of the roaring highway, she throws open her door and steps outside, movements hesitant and careful.
She is closer to the person now and they haven't noticed her yet.
x
He's a boy. And he's young. And he's sobbing quietly.
x
His head is bowed downwards, but she observes his long tawny hair. It looks like a ragged mess of soft locks. His shoulders are shaking. His hands grasp the exterior of his car like it's the only thing supporting his weight.
She moves forward and says the only thing that comes to mind. "What can I do to help?"
x
He's startled when he notices her. His eyes are bloodshot, and to her amazement, they are also a luminous gold. She fights the urge to look away from him.
She was such a nobody. Who was she to comfort a stranger when she couldn't comfort herself?
x
He brings his sleeves upwards and wipes his face quickly. "Who are you?" He asks, his voice venomous.
She doesn't flinch and doesn't move backwards. She can barely hear him over the grind and bang and hum and hiss of vehicles whipping away from them. The highway is piling up with people going home and leaving elsewhere. Her hair flaps in the wind and she wills herself to answer him honestly.
"I want to help."
x
"You don't know anything about me." His cheeks are flushed and his eyebrows are furrowed.
He's right.
She bites her bottom lip. "Okay."
Then she walks away.
x
He shocks her when he calls after her. He sounds desperate and alone and it makes her wonder why a beautiful looking person like him is doing isolated in the middle of Nevada's endless highways.
"Please come back!"
She turns around, tucks her hands in her pockets. She trudges to him until she hears him say, "Everybody I know is giving me shit. I need to talk to a stranger."
She reaches her palm out. "I'm Clary."
He nods. He's no longer crying, but there's a certain sadness in his elegant features. He shakes her hand. His is much larger than hers. "I'm Jace."
x
"Why'd you stop driving?"
She's sitting in his car. They're murmuring to one another in quiet voices because they're not outside anymore. She slips a curl behind her ear. "I don't know. You looked like you needed help." She isn't looking at him. She doesn't want to look at him. She instead stares at the glove compartment where her knees are resting comfortably.
"Where were you going?"
She smiles to herself and answers him the way her mind tells her to do so. "Nowhere and everywhere."
He scoffs abruptly, the first sound close to amusement she's heard from him. "You're a basket case."
She stiffens and apparently, he notices, for he says, "I wanna drive around. Come with me."
x
She wants to ask him why he was crying.
But he doesn't give her the chance.
His car has more gasoline so they slide back into the highway, strangers that share connections.
x
It's passed twelve now.
She leans her head against the passenger window, watching the scenery alter and change. They haven't talked to one another in a couple hours.
She ponders if she is relieved or disappointed.
x
Never in a billion years did she think she'd get away from abuse and land in a car with a guy she didn't know anything about.
She just wanted to smell sunshine.
Sunshine.
x
They stop at a gas station. He leaves the car and enters the small mart. She thinks about looking through his things. Maybe she'd find out something about him. She decided against it.
Perhaps it was better that they were strangers.
She watched him return. His body is both lean and muscular. He's wearing a tattered, sleeveless black shirt. His jeans are a faded blue. Tattoos cover his skin. They make him look dangerous ad unrelenting.
Had he really been crying hours prior?
x
He drops a few snacks on her lap without an explanation. She doesn't thank him, only picks at the small brownies.
She takes a drink of her soda.
When he finishes filling up the tank and gets in his seat, he faces her. Her lips part slightly. "Is anyone expecting you home?" The question surprises her and she fumbles to reply.
"No. I-. No." She doesn't give him any room to ask more questions. She tilts her head away from him, observing the streets nearby.
She hears him sigh. "Alright." He clears his throat. "If it makes you feel any better, nobody's expecting me either."
x
She gets frightened when they stop at a motel.
Her whole body freezes. Her heart is in her throat.
He leaves the car, anticipating her to follow suit.
When he realizes she doesn't, he goes to her door and knocks on her window, giving her a look of frustration and confusion. His eyebrow is raised and his golden eyes are slitted.
She shrinks further into her seat.
x
It's only when he unlocks her door that she screams.
It takes him by surprise. He stumbles backwards, staring at her in alarm. He raises his arms upward in defense. She almost feels guilty.
She opens her mouth. Her hands are trembling. "What are we doing here?"
He looks from her to the motel they are facing. "What-What are you talking about?" When he sees that she isn't convinced, he explains, "We can't drive forever. We need to rest at some point."
She thinks about it. He appears tense and worried, his fingers are still clasping the handle of her door. "We can rest in the car."
He huffs. "Whatever the fuck you say."
x
She knows he's angry. His shoulders are rigid as he drives. His knuckles have turned white. He only gazes forward at the road, ignoring her presence completely.
x
A day has passed and yet they're still together.
She finally talks to him when they surpass some large center he doesn't recognize. Her voice is quiet and thoughtful. "I want to go there."
He nearly stops driving. "What?"
She points back at the location and he notices her face at last. The freckles on her skin beckon him closer. Her large eyes make her seem much more intimidating than she actually is. "Let's go there."
He blinks, glances to the place with little interest. He reads the sign slowly, like a question, "Planetarium?" He glances over to her. "Are you sure you wanna go there?"
She nods fiercely, then adds. "Please."
That does it for him.
x
He hasn't ever visited a theatre like this. He doesn't know what to expect. All he knows is that the small girl beside him is opening up a little, word by word.
The Planetarium is large and surprisingly not busy. He follows after her. She seems to know where she is going. Surrounding them are posters that show stars and planets and black holes and unknown objects in space. In every corner of a room there's a telescope, programmed to show you a beautiful night sky.
She opens the door to a room. It's small and empty. He closes the door softly behind them. He leans against the wall. There are a few scattered chairs around. The ceiling above them is shaped like a bowl. High and circular. He purses his lips and watches as she clicks on a button on a tiny board.
He hears a beep.
Then everything miraculously changes. The ceiling is no longer there. They're not in some museum anymore. A projection of the universe is displayed. He inclines his head up. Stars glimmer and planets move along an invisible line. Colors of all kind swirl in endless streams, yellow and blue and bright orange and red.
Suddenly, she's in front of him. She's grinning, the rarest sight he's ever seen. He notices just how close she is to him. She whispers softly, like a child telling a deep secret, "Do you understand now?" She points a finger upwards. "Our problems are nothing compared to the universe we stare at."
He nods, because it's the only thing he can do.
x
Apparently, they had trespassed an area they weren't supposed to. After twenty minutes of apologies and excuses and him cursing every so often, the two only had to pay a fee of about a hundred dollars.
It was worth it.
x
After what she had shared with him, they stayed reserved. They continue on the road.
x
He finally gathers the courage to ask her the question, "What did you mean by that?" He didn't have to explain any further.
She peeled her face from the arm rest and shrugged. "It's not something that can be described. You either feel it or you don't."
"That's not-" He shook his head, looked away from the wheel. "That's not what I meant. You said it like you knew me."
She was staring at her lap absentmindedly. "I don't know you. If that's what you're asking."
He released a breath. "Stop playing around like that."
She didn't reply.
x
They were out of Nevada and in the state of Idaho, known for its potatoes and its abundance of forests and lakes and plants.
"We made it this far." He noted.
"We can go farther." She announced in determination, her gaze meeting his.
His mouth twitched. "That we can do."
x
They stopped near a farm. He was sure it was private property and that they weren't supposed to be there. Still, she climbed out of her seat and sat on the edge of the hill. They were so far away from the city, it almost made him feel gloomy. The sky was a light gray and the breeze left his hair a blowing disarray. He collapsed beside her, taking a swig of hard whiskey from his flask.
"Why were you crying that night I found you?" She asked, stretching her arms out for the wind to fight with.
He smirked and wiped his mouth. "A lot of reasons."
She whirled and raised both eyebrows. Her skin was so pale compared to the green background behind her. "Tell me."
He thinks about it. He's only known her for three days thus far. Pouring his heart out wasn't one of his intentions. "Okay. For everything thing I tell you, you owe me."
Her eyes crinkled. "Right."
He downs some more of the whiskey, scowling when a sour sensation spots his tongue. "You know we won't be strangers after this, right?"
To his astonishment, she laughs. It's soft and nervous and a little delightful. "I know. And that's okay."
x
"That night was the worst of my life." He began, his fingers already tugging fervently at the strands of his hair. "I got dumped by my girlfriend of three years. My brother died. And my parents kicked me out of the house."
He glanced to her, wondering what she thought. She had taken off her shoes and socks, her toes nestled in the grass. Her head was tucked in between her knees. "Keep going." She told him.
He rolls his eyes. "That's it. It isn't anything special."
She peers at him in annoyance and he likes the way her nose scrunches up, making her look younger than she is. "Why were you on the highway?"
His expression turns solemn. He frowns a little. "That's when my mom called. Told me William was dead."
She's silent and he's grateful for that.
x
By the end of their third day, she knows personal things about him. It makes him worried.
He doesn't know anything about her.
x
They're driving to Montana. While she's sleeping, he takes a turn to Lake McDonald.
x
It's a large lake. There are people hiking and running and kayaking. When he parks near the rocks, she's jolted awake.
She rubs her eyes and yawns. "Where are we?"
It's his turn to catch her off guard. "We're going swimming."
x
He expects her to protest.
To argue.
He doesn't expect her to look terrified, her bottom lip trembling.
x
"What's going on?" He asks, pulling his key out of the ignition.
"I'm not swimming." She shakes her head twice.
He sighs. "If this is about the clothes, we'll buy-"
"No! I said I didn't want to. Why are you forcing me?" Her tone makes him stop whatever he was going to say. She's panicked. She's holding onto the seatbelt for dear life.
His expression softens. "Clary." It's the first time he uses her name. Her wet eyes meet his. "We won't go swimming if you don't want to." He watches her chest rise and fall at a steady pace. He's almost relieved that she hasn't attacked him yet. Whatever she was holding back, it was important. "But you've gotta give me a reason why."
She looks uncertain.
"Tell me."
x
"I don't want to have to show my body." They're still in the car facing the lake. Outside, the scenery is lovely and beautiful.
"That's it?" He asks, slanting his head toward her.
She swallows with difficulty. "If I showed you, you'd-you'd think I was crazy."
He grins, chipped tooth flashing. "I already think you're crazy. So show me."
x
She's not afraid about the shape of her body. She's not afraid about her skin and her freckles. She's afraid of the marks that label her flesh, ugly and revealing.
Still, he's told her his secrets. She needs to do this.
She draws her shirt up and tugs it off completely. She hears him curse. It's enough for her to wrap her arms around her chest. "No. no." He says quickly. "It wasn't about that. I just-how did that happen?" He sounds honestly perplexed and angry.
"My family."
"You're what?" His hands have curled into hard fists.
x
"Come here."
She's still in her bra. There are welts on her shoulders and a few hickeys on her neck. The side of her stomach is slightly swollen. She doesn't answer him.
"Come here." He repeats again, this time forcefully.
She does. She climbs over the seat base and lands on his lap. He wraps his arms around her waist. She shivers at the contact, wanting to say something but not knowing how. Her breasts press against his chest. "You don't have to be afraid of me."
She whispers back to him, their lips millimeters apart. "I'm not."
His golden orbs widen a fraction. "You're not?"
She shakes her head. "You smell like sunshine, Jace."
He laughs.
x
She needed to smell sunshine.
Now, she's with him.
And she definitely smells sunshine.
x
Review. One-shot.