Total Drama: The Hungry Games
Bring on the mutated animals, bad food, and eight new contestants that might be the craziest the show has ever seen. The games has begun and these teens are hungry for victory.
Note: TD: THG takes place in season 6 of the show. I also don't own Total Drama...but you already knew that.
Episode 1
Bigger! Superer! Awesomer!
Part 1
The stench of decay and radioactivity was in the air. The trees were a bit too tall, and the grass too green. The birds flying through the sky screeched ominously like the sound of fingernails scraping against a chalkboard. Some would call it a bad omen, while others who knew better could easily pinpoint it to one thing; Total Drama. The island where all this sick and twisted activity was currently happening looked oddly familiar. It had been used before, only last time it was in a worse – if it could be called that – state than it was now.
A group of people stood on the island docks. Each of them wore various expressions ranging from boredom to fright. Though considering the show's track record fear was a very reasonable emotion.
The one with a bored expression was a tall brown skinned man wearing a dingy apron and a equally dingy chef's hat that was too small for his head. He groaned miserably while shooting annoyed looks at the man standing next to him. The one receiving the annoyed looks was in much higher spirits. He grinned from ear to ear, the bright sun gleaming off his designer sunglasses, as he licked his lips and counted a large stack of bills in his hands.
"Yeah, this is totally gonna help me buy a new Porsche to go with my new crib in Toronto. Heh heh, can ya say paid or what?"
"While the rest of us get paid in peanuts." Chef grumbled again.
Chris McLean shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Hey, I'm the star of the show. Can't help that my star power demands a bit extra, ya know?" He turned to the camera man nearest to him who was quivering so badly he could barely keep his camera balanced.
"And can you, like, keep that thing still? I want the good people watching at home to get the best view of my new shades."
The young cameraman shook more. "Sorr-sorry. Just nervous is all…."
The Total Drama show was notorious for it's methods of slimming down the technical crew. Eaten by alligators, bitten by snakes then eaten by alligators, having your eyes pecked at by seven-foot birds while a snake bites you just before you get eaten by a alligator; the list of sticky endings went on and on. Oliver Davis wondered more and more what his ending would be, and if he should have just taken a job at McDonalds. The pay would have been less but the survival rate would have been much higher.
Chris waved off his anxiousness like someone waving off a fly. "Meh don't worry about it new guy. I'm sure you'll make it out in one peace...it's the victims...err...I mean contestants that should be worried. Speaking of contestants..." He tapped his gold watch. "Looks like it's about that time. Get those cameras ready folks! Time to start the show!"
The other camera man nudged the nervous new guy out of the way before sitting his camera on a tri-pod. Chef rolled his eyes and smoothed out the wrinkles in his dingy apron. He had been asking for a new mixing spoon for almost two seasons, and there McLean was holding a pile of money. Why he hadn't quit the show yet was a mystery. But, then again, it did help him get the ladies.
The camera zoomed in on Chris as he readjusted his sunglasses. They gleamed so brightly that \the entire dock was covered in the lenses sheen. They were like lighthouse beacons. Everyone squinted to avoid going blind, while Chris, of course, just grinned.
The second cameraman had to look away as he counted down the seconds before the show started. "We're live on air in three, two, one...and we're on!"
"Greetings Total Drama fans! As you know, we moved to Pahkitew Island last season. However, we realized that we really didn't like that island much. It just didn't have the same imminent danger and mutated creatures that we've come to love. Now, with the help of several underpaid crew workers and scuba divers, we're back on Wawanakwa island! Even though half of the island is still underwater, we were able to bring in artificial land materials and even more mutated unspeakably hideous creatures –"
Chris was cut off by a sudden large screech above them. They all looked up to see a huge eagle-crow hybrid bird circling the docks. The bird creature reared it's head and cawed again, obviously distracted by Chris' overly bright sunglasses.
Then a moment later the bird hurdled itself down like a bullet at them. The camera zoomed in on the creature just as it swooped in and used it's claws to grab the screaming new camera man. In almost an instant they both disappeared into the horizon, the screams of the young man still loud across the sky. The rest of the people left on the dock stood in silence, soon after Chris blinked and looked back at the camera. "Whelp, that guy didn't last very long. Wait –" He leaned over and whispered to Chef, "That guy did sign the we-aren't-responsible-for-your-death contract right?"
Chef nodded solemnly.
"Well then! That was our new camera guy. I'm sure he'll make a nice meal for that momma's newly hatched bird babies. Speaking of birds, we have eight new little birdies who will compete on this infamous island for a smooth million dollars. But it ain't gonna' be easy folks. This isn't just any old Total Drama. Nope, this season we're going to torture those poor contestants in what we like to call – drum roll please – the Hungry Games! Who will win? And who will be killed off...I mean kicked off? Guess ya' gotta watch and see. Until then, roll that intro!"
I'm going to win the games
Soon they'll all know my name
Won't be a tribute, no not today
Super hungry and I've come to play
Cause I wanna be famous
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
(Ominous whistling tune)
The cameras were on Chris who was now talking angrily on his cell phone. "Whadda ya mean he only signed half the contract? How can you only sign half a contract? I'll tell you this, my check won't be cut because some newbie camera man became bird food –"
Chris looked up at the cameras and noticed that they were blinking green. He grinned nervously and stashed his phone in his pocket. "That's executives for you. But the show goes on, and just in time cause the boat of contestants has finally arrived!"
A large raggedy boat with mixed-matched wood arrived on shore and hit the docks with a dull thud.
The cameras followed Chris as he walked cautiously towards the boat as if afraid the thing would crumble at any second and ruin his expensive clothes. "Now introducing the new contestants! First up, we have Susie!"
A thin girl wearing blue overalls with old fashioned blonde pigtails exited the boat. She looked around nervously and waved at the camera.
****Susie's self introduction*****
"Heya people! Uh...my name's Susie, and I'm a 100% country girl. Never been on any type of show before. In fact, until a month ago, we didn't even have a tellyvosion...that's how you pronounce it right?" She looked around the outhouse and smiled at the many flies swarming the walls. "I love what they did with this outhouse though. Really reminds me of home."
-the screen statics out-
"Hey Susie." Chris greeted and the girl almost tripped on her overly large shoes as she looked up at his bright sunglasses.
"Hey Chris! I'm so excited to be here!"
Chris gave her a lopsided grin. "Great, just remember to watch your step. They cut back on the contestant insurance this season. If it's not a mosquito bite, we ain't paying for it. Next up we have my man Edmund."
As he was introduced, a tall boy with wavy brown hair and pale skin practically glided off the boat. He wore dark sunglasses with a black shirt, black jeans and sneakers, and had a look of eternal brooding on his face. He glanced up at the sun with a grimace.
"Mother nature strikes me again with her harsh harsh glare. Just like my dear Isamella." He put his hand over his heart in a dramatic pose that made Chef swoon.
"Now that's a hunk right there." The cook said with a nod of approval.
****Edmund's self introduction*****
Edmund leaned against the only uninfected wall of the outhouse. His face held a deep frown and his eyebrows were furrowed. "What is this contest but a failed attempt for us to find a reason in our lives? These young hearts walk around with such spirit, never knowing the eternal struggle my kind goes through. Oh, but one did...my sweet sweet Mella." He sighed and put a hand over his forehead in one of his many dramatic poses. "Dear eternal life, why must you torture me so?"
-the screen statics out-
Edmund floated right by Chris and the cameras without saying anything. Instead he continued on until he reached Susie who was now running her fingers through one of her pigtails. The country girl looked up at the boy and grinned widely.
"Why, you're like one of those pretty boys I saw in the magozine!"
Edmund raised a brow at her. "And you remind me of an innocent little kitten who has yet to drink the spoiled milk of life…" He reached out and cuffed her chin with his long pale fingers. "That's why you'll be my perfect new Isamella. By this show's end, you shall be mine."
Susie giggled and Chris rolled his eyes. "Ok well we know who the first annoying couple this season will be. Anyway, up next we have Tami, who according to her profile, does NOT want to be compared to Gwen, or seen as the next Gwen...at all."
A girl with black hair and pink highlights jumped off the boat. Her hair was cut short, just a inch below her neck, and her eyes were a dark brown. The lipstick she wore matched the highlights in her hair, and she wore black high top boots. She finished her look off with a long sleeve pink shirt and a short black and pink skirt – in other words, she was a pink and black dressed version of Gwen, minus the choker necklace.
Chris looked at her in surprised and Chef simply shook his head.
****Tami's self introduction*****
Tami scrunched up her nose up at the interior and smell of the outhouse. "Alright let's get this straight right now. I'm NOT Gwen from seasons one, two, three, or five." She said, sounding a lot like Gwen. "I may look like Gwen, sound like Gwen, but I am definitely not Gwen. Got it? Good. And wow this place stinks. It smells like a farm in here."
-the screen statics out-
Chris eyed Tami suspiciously as she walked past them and joined Edmund and Susie. By now, the two were already looking heavily into each other's eyes. Tami gagged and folded her arms across her chest. She had just got there and already couldn't wait for the stupid show to be over.
Chris and Chef looked at each other and the cook nodded his head in agreement. They'd have to do some digging on who "Tami" really was.
Chef strummed his fingers annoyingly against his knee as he waited for the next contestant to reveal himself. "Is it just me or are these kids gettin' weirder and weirder each season?"
Chris snickered. "You're not the only one bruh. But the audience eats this crap up. We stopped trying two seasons ago. Speaking of not trying, next up we have Lucas who doesn't have to try being cool...he lost that fight years ago."
A short acne ridden teen with sand paper colored hair tripped off the boat and promptly went down face first into the docks.
"I'm ok!" he said cheerily before jumping back up. "Hey everybody. It's great to be here!"
Lucas seemed like a kid who was in a permanent state of having had too much sugar. Lucas was jittery and his eyes blinked rapidly.
****Lucas' self introduction*****
Lucas blinked rapidly at the screen while smiling. "Hello everybody watching this! I'm super excited to be hereeeeeee! I mean super duper duper tuper sluper mooper excited with a cherry on top. Some people say I act crazy but I don't think I'm crazy, just over exuberant. Oh, and did I mention how superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr excited I am to be here?"
-the screen statics out-
Chris watched warily as Lucas skipped over to the rest of the contestants, his arms twitching with every step he took. The host shook his head and whispered to the nearest camera. "Please, folks, for the love of god, please vote him off first."
By now Chris was picturing the upcoming weeks with dolefulness. Even he was starting to wonder if the new pay raise was really worth it after all. Maybe he should have just retired and hosted Next Top Model instead. Now he knew how it felt to be at a Miley Cyrus concert.
Chris continued on with his award winning smile (seriously, he won the most handsomest smile twice) and introduced the next contestant.
"Our next contestant comes all the way from Britain. How he got on a Canadian show we don't have a clue. Say hello to Harri Puddle!"
A bespectacled teen with unruly black hair cautiously exited the boat and looked around nervously. He would have looked like an average boy if it wasn't for the large pimple on his forehead. The second the other contestants saw him they gasped. Susie unashamedly pointed at his pimple. "Oh my god, it's the Boy-With-Pimple! He's famous for starring in all those pimple cream commercials I saw on the tellevisioon."
Lucas seemed even more jittery as he nodded his head excitedly. "Yep. He's been fighting the war against pimples every since he was one years old!"
Harri subconsciously patted the bangs of his hair against his forehead to cover his pimple. Chris wasn't pleased to see another celebrity on the show. His agent was going to have some heavy explaining to do.
****Harri's self introduction*****
Harri looked around nervously at the enclosed space of the outhouse which reminded him greatly of the cabinet under the sink he use to live in. "Err...hello there. My name's Harri Puddle, short for Harrington. My parents were killed in a microwave explosion when I was a baby and I was sent to live with my Aunt Dandylion and Uncle Vermin. I guess you could say I'm famous for starring in pimple cream commercials. But there's a lot more to me then that! Also, I highly suggest joining my group, Order of the Proactive Cream, to help us fight the war against Pimplemort."
-the screen statics out-
Harri scuttled over to the other contestants where he tried to avoid the dazed look Susie was giving him. Meanwhile, Edmund was shooting narrowed eyed daggers in his direction.
"Next up we have one of the few people who actually stands a chance at winning this season. He's the man with the plan. Say what's up to Maximilian!"
A muscular boy with dark hair jumped off the boat and instantly started flexing his muscles for the cameras. He wore a black and blue hockey jersey with the image of a shark on front. On the back was his name and the numbers 01. As the cameras panned in on him he winked cockily.
****Max's self introduction*****
Max used his hand to swat away the flies that was beginning to crowd around him. When he noticed the cameras were running he instantly straighten up and puffed out his chest. "Oh hello there, didn't know anyone was watching. I was just working out the muscles in my fingers. Anyway, I've come to win this thing. I've watched the other seasons, and to be honest, the rest of them don't stand a chance. I've won six high school hockey championships, I have twelve MVP trophies, I even have hockey skates made out of pure solid gold….yeah, I'm pretty awesome aren't I?" Max flexed his arm muscle before giving it a kiss.
-the screen statics out-
Maximilian, or Max, as he was suddenly calling himself, strutted over to the other contestants where he stood out like a sore thumb next to the tall but slim Edmund, the slightly hunched Lucas, and the shorter Harri who had moved next to an annoyed Tami to avoid the non-discrete air kisses Susie was now sending him.
Chris gagged as he looked at the group who was shaping up to become the worst bunch of contestants he'd ever seen – and considering the weirdos he had to deal with that was saying something. What happened to the days when the kids were normalish?
"Well at least we only got two more!" Chris grinned nervously at the camera. "Next in line for the slaughterhouse...errr...I mean show, is the girl who will make our male viewer numbers skyrocket. Welcome Taylor Stiff!"
A large group of paparazzi appeared out of nowhere and began taking pictures of a blonde haired girl as she gracefully exited the boat. Her long blonde hair billowed behind her in the wind like yellow waves. She wore a short tight dress, a white shirt with her initials "TS" on the front in silver glitter.
Taylor giggled as she twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "OMG I can't believe all of this just for me?" She giggled again and gave a elegant side wave to the paparazzi like someone at a parade. "Well make sure you get my good side."
****Taylor's self introduction*****
Taylor brushed through her luxurious hair that was, somehow, blowing in a nonexistent wind. She didn't seem concerned about the many flies that were settling on top of her recently shampooed hair. With the sound of her voice the flies floated transfixed off her and dropped to the grimy floor as if killed by her amazing voice. "Hello to all my Metube fans out there who watched my music videos. Because of you, I can write more catchy songs about all my ex boyfriends who I went with and totally dumped the next week. Also stay tuned after this episode to watch an exclusive sneak peek of the video to my new song. It's called I Hate You So Much You Lying Cheating Bastard, or IHYSMYLCB for short! Which of my ex boyfriends is the song about? Well you just have to watch and see!"
-the screen statics out-
Chris McLean was mad. Now there were two celebrities on the show? How was he suppose to compete with that? Actually do his job and be a good host? Not by a long shot. His agent was REALLY going to hear about this one. Chris watched annoyingly as Taylor walked over to the other contestants with the paparazzi following her every step of the way. Tami sneered and rolled her eyes at the new girl who was almost worst than the ditzy farmer girl who was still trying to blow kisses at Harri.
"Thank goodness we're at the last contestant!" Chris said with fake enthusiasm. His mouth stretched in a forced smile that made his right eye twitch. "Finishing off our contestants is someone we've never heard of, which is a good thing. Welcome Katless Eversteam...wait, what? Is that a real name?" Chris looked over to Chef but before the cook could reply they both jumped as a girl flipped off the boat. She wore a single long ponytail and her clothes were ordinary - at least for athletes. The girl carried a long bow with a leather quiver strapped around her back.
Chris looked like he was about to say something to her, maybe give a comment on how bringing your own weapons would help you survive longer, which wasn't good for ratings, but Katless simply walked passed him without giving him a second glance.
Chef snickered. "Ouch. Looks like somebody got burnt."
Chris narrowed his eyes at the cook.
****Katless self introduction*****
Katless slammed the outhouse door and glared directly at the camera. "Let's get this straight now. I'm here to win. This show is a huge thing back in my hometown. My sister Primdimple was told she'd have to try out for the show but I volunteered to go in her place. This show is dangerous and I'm here to win and tear it down for the sake of my people. Oh, and for the two boys who're in love with me...one of them is super amazingly gorgeous, and the other….well...he gave me bread."
-the screen statics out-
The contestants of season six was now complete. It was an odd group (with odd being a huge understatement) but if the rating went down it would be the producers to blame, not him, the outrageously charismatic Chris McLean.
Chris chuckled to himself as he walked over to the contestants with the cameras following behind him. "Well isn't this cute. The entire gang's together and ready to play. I know you're all excited to get started so I'll tell you, and the viewers, how this season will work. Chef, if you'd do the honors?"
"Yeah whatever. I better be gettin' overtime for this."
Chef reached into his pockets and pulled out a pair of thick rimmed reading glasses. In his other hand was a long list that looked like it was written in crayon. Putting the glasses on, he peered at the list with a disgusted frown.
"Before playing in Total Drama we're obligated to tell you that we are not at all responsible for anything that happens to you while you're here. That means any injuries, small or big, or even sudden painful death of the extreme burning kind, is not our fault. We are also not responsible if you get eaten by any radioactive tiger bears. There I read it. Now can I go cook now?"
"Wow are you serious?" Tami interpreted angrily. "You mean to tell me you can provide a million dollars cash prize, but you can't give medical aid?"
"Nope." Chris answered with a grin. "Where would the fun be in that? Buuuut if you wanna leave I'm sure Lucas over there wouldn't mind winning a million dollars in your place."
Lucas blinked rapidly as he tried to take in all the information. His body was twitching, and a small bit of drool was pooling down the side of his mouth. Tami gagged and folded her arms over her chest in annoyance.
Chris snickered. "Yep I thought as much. Now that the technicalities are out the way, it's time to explain the game!" He rubbed his hands together evilly and began pacing in front of them. "You'll all be split into two teams, or districts, as we're calling them this season for some reason. Within those districts you'll be faced with challenges that'll eliminate each of you until only one person's left. Sounds awesome right?"
Tami muttered darkly to herself but didn't argue again.
****Tami's outhouse thoughts*****
"You know what else would be awesome? Taking those sunglasses and shoving them right up his–"
-the screen statics out-
"We're also introducing something we like to call tributes." Chris continued, his voice clearly excited. "You're all technically tributes right now, but there's a way to make someone else an even lower tribute." Chris reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked to be a really small golden bird plush with a arrow going through it's body. It was a strange looking thing that glistened in the sunlight. "This is called the Mockingjay, and it'll be hidden somewhere during a few of the challenges. Find this, and if you're eliminated, you'll be able to tribute someone else to be eliminated instead. But to spice things up even more we might just hide two of these birdies out there. Oh, and if you are eliminated you'll be booted off the island where you can't come back….ever never ever."
****Edmund's outhouse thoughts*****
"Hmmm. I sense a chance to exact my revenge against the ridiculously unattractive Harri Puddle. If I manage to find one of those glorious squeezable toy birds, I can lose the challenge on purpose, and then tribute him for elimination. Afterwards the sweet but extremely naive Susie will be mine!" Edmund reared his head back and began laughing evilly in a Chris-would-be-proud kind of way. Somewhere a dark dun dun dun played in the background.
-the screen statics out-
Edmund was still laughing as the contestants, Chris, and Chef all turned to look at him. Chris stepped back slightly and whispered into a nearby camera. "Yep. That guy is totallly insane."
Max cautiously patted his shoulder like he was afraid the other boy was contagious. "Hey bro, you alright?" But Edmund continued laughing, his cackling growing louder by the second.
"That's the question we're all asking right about now!" Chris had to shout to be heard over Edmund's crazy laughter. "Who will win the first challenge? Who will be sent home with salty tears running down their face? Will this guy EVER SHUT UP?! FIND OUT IN THE PART TWO EPISODE OF TOTAL DRAMA: HUNGRY GAMES!"
A/N: Please R & R!