This fic was inspired by a song from the show Nashville. It has really helped me get through the pain of the last episode. What I love about this song is that it is a moment where they both look back on their relationship and realize where they both made it go wrong. I think that is what Omelia needs.
I have seen a lot of hate for Owen these days, and believe me I get it. I don't agree with what he did, but in a way I understand it. He was upset, he made a mistake. Though we hate him for it, we also have to think of what drove him to it. I think that because of this tumor people are letting Amelia off with no blame, shes the victim now. And whether or not her tumor affected how she handled her relationship doesn't really matter here, because Owen didn't know about it. To him her words came right from her, she doesn't want to be married to him anymore. Though I don't support what Owen did, I am not writing him off just yet like I have seen others do, and I am certainly not placing any blame on Teddy.
That all being said, I hope that you enjoy this fic. I hope that we can all respect each others opinions about the show and it's characters, and I hope I don't get a lot of hate for this.
I never questioned, not even once,
all of the twists and turns and tumbles of our love.
So many nights down on my knees,
praying to God that you can learn to forgive me.
And underneath the pain you're my favorite hurricane.
When a hurricane is approaching people are instructed to run for cover. Avoid the eye of the storm at all costs and hold on tight until it blows over. That's how you are supposed to react to a hurricane.
That's what Owen remembered from when he was a kid; the things they told them to prepare for, for those hurricanes that would never hit Seattle. But one hurricane did. And it leveled Owen to the ground. Hurricane Amelia.
She had blown into Seattle and swept him off his feet, and he hadn't looked back since. But every hurricane loses speed eventually, and so did Amelia. Owen had watched the light go out in her eyes as his hurricane blew off in another direction. It hurt him, to be dropped so quickly. Without even realizing what had been happening he had been swept up and spit out, it had happened in a blink of an eye. He had been left ragged and torn in the wake of his relationship with Amelia, but he didn't regret a second of it. She may have been a hurricane, but she was his favorite hurricane. He was like one of the crazy storm chasers running directly into the eye. No matter how many times she spit him out, he kept chasing. So what made this time different?
This time she hadn't just spit him out, she had thrown him in the path of another storm, right into the arms of another woman. And he had let her. Instead of turning around and chasing her again, he let himself be caught up in the other storm. His pain from Amelia's words had pushed him to do something he would regret for the rest of his life. Not only had he let himself kiss another woman, but it had been his best friend, one of his favorite people, Teddy. Not only had Owen ruined his marriage, but he had also ruined one of the most important relationships in his life.
Teddy had left the next day, and he didn't blame her. She didn't deserve to be a rebound, and he knew that he was only using her as a replacement for Amelia, and he knew that she deserved so much more than that.
He hadn't spoken to Amelia in a week. He had been avoiding her. But he had a nagging feeling she had been avoiding him as well because he didn't even have to work that hard at not running into her; she never seemed to be around. She was still performing her rounds and her surgeries as usual, so has long as he checked the OR board and stayed away from the neuro wing he was good. But he had not seen her in any common ground. Not at the nurses station, not in the attending lounge, not with Meredith or Maggie. It was like she had gone into hiding. This had struck Owen as odd. As mad as he was at his wife for the things she had said, he was also very worried. Once he had calmed down, and after he had already made his horrible mistake, he realized that those words from her didn't make sense.
Amelia had thrown him away before in their past, but it was almost always to protect him from the path of her storm. She had pushed him away and let him believe she didn't care for him because she was worried she would hurt him. What if that is what she was doing now? Either way, her actions since arriving back in Seattle had not made any sense to Owen. The minute Owen had told Amelia that Megan was alive, she snapped into action, making plans and phone calls. She supported him emotionally, forcing him to eat and lie down. She had been there for him when he needed her, and then when they returned to Seattle she had practically disappeared. None of what had happened in the past week made any sense to Owen.
He was at the nurses station returning a chart when he saw Webber and DeLuca walk by. He didn't mean to eavesdrop, but he couldn't help it. They seemed to be the only people who spoke to Amelia lately, and he needed news.
"I'm worried she hasn't come to terms with it yet," he heard DeLuca confide in Webber. "She has been holed up in that on-call room every free minute she has, like she is going to discover a miracle. She barely eats, I haven't seen her sleep. I'm worried she isn't fit for surgery anymore."
Owen didn't catch Webber's reply as the two men walked out of earshot, but he had heard enough. Amelia was in trouble. He didn't know how or why, but something was up. What had happened between them last week suddenly didn't matter, he needed to get to her. He raced to the nearest on-call room flinging the door open. She wasn't in there. He tried three more before he finally flung open the door that revealed his wife. She was sitting cross legged on the floor surrounded by what appeared to be dozens of MRIs and countless pages of research. She was so absorbed in whatever she was doing that she didn't even notice he had entered.
"Amelia?" he breathed, unsure what to make of what was going on.
She looked up at him shocked and then clutched the scan she had been holding closer to her chest as if trying to hide it.
"What's going on?" Owen questioned. He looked down at the scans around her, noting they all seemed to be of the same very large brain tumor. He bent down and picked one up. Amelia lunged forward trying to grab it out off his hand, but since she was still sitting he was at an advantage. "What is this?" he inquired glancing at the scan. "This thing is huge."
Amelia, who had been silent since Owen had entered, tried to find the words to say, but came up empty. Instead she felt tears spring to her eyes.
Owen noticed her reaction and became worried. "Amelia," he began. "Who is this patient?"
She looked at him unsure what to say. She had wanted to tell him, of course she did. She craved the feeling of Owen wrapping her up in his big strong arms and telling her it was going to be okay. But how could she ask for that after how she had reacted?
When Amelia didn't answer Owen looked back down at the scan. There in the corner was the familiar sticker they used to identify the patient. He felt his heart stop for a second when he read the name clear as day; Shepherd, Amelia.
He looked back up to meet her eyes, concern clouding his, while tears spilled from her own. "Amelia?" he pleaded. "Please tell me this isn't you."
"I'm so sorry Owen," she sobbed. "You weren't supposed to find out this way. I was going to figure it out, figure out a way to get this out. I wanted to be better, for you. I didn't want to put this on you."
Owen took a step towards her reaching out for his wife. She threw herself towards him needing the security of his arms. She buried her face in his neck. "I'm so sorry Owen, I'm so so sorry. I ruined everything."
"Shhhh," Owen soothed her, rubbing her back. "Babe, it's okay, I'm here. We'll figure this out together."
"No Owen, it's not okay," she sniffled. "I said horrible things to you. I don't deserve your support."
"Yes you do. We've both made mistakes, and at some point we are going to need to sit down and talk about them all, but now is not the time."
"I don't deserve this," she said, pulling away and looking him in the eyes. "I am only going to hurt you again. There is a reason my family called me Hurricane Amelia. I destroy everything in my path. I didn't want us to be one of those things. I thought if I fixed this I would be okay. I could be the wife you needed me to be."
"Amelia," he said wrapping his arms around her waist. "There is nothing you need to change. Yes we both need to work on our communication, and how we react in a crisis, but I fell in love with you for who you are, and I would never want you to change that. We have both been forces blowing in and messing things up, we knew from the start we would be like this. You may be a hurricane, but so am I. We feed off of each other, and though the destruction is greater, we are also stronger together."
She looked up at him, a smile ghosting her lips despite the tears that still ran down her cheeks. "But what if what you love is only the tumour? What if when we get this out I am not the same person I was?"
Owen knew that this was a possibility, what if their relationship was built on feelings that she didn't really have? But he knew what they had, and there was no way it was all nothing. "That isn't possible. What I feel for you isn't going to ever change, and I have faith how you feel won't either. We will find a way to get this out of you, and then we will be strong together."
She nuzzled herself back into his chest taking in the feeling of his strong arms around her, all she had wanted since she had found out about the tumour.
He ran his fingers through her hair and placed a kiss to the top of her head. "You may be a hurricane," he confessed. "But you're my favorite hurricane."
All I ever did to you and you ever did to me
was all we had to do to keep on breathing.
Now I see that all along your shadow
was my only way standing in the light.
I fell down, broke all the pieces.
Every time you saved me from coming all undone.
And underneath the pain you're my favorite hurricane.