LOST IN MY LONELY HEART

THE ONE

INT. TED´S APARTMENT - CRACK OF DAWN

"It must be her." A defiant voice in my head kept on saying these words. "How could it be any other woman than her."

When I woke up this morning - sorry, I can´t remember any dreams, but they are supposed to be hot and wet - my head was comparable to an over-crowded place full of passengers passing me by. The strange thing was: every passenger´s face looked like Robin´s. Ridiculous. I had actually thought I would have ticked off any romantic feelings for this gun-loving gal.

But it´s in our nature: we rather tend to relive crashed relationships than to forget them. There are strings binding me, indecision forces me to just sit and wait. Is it really new-born love that I feel for Robin or am I just tired of being the lonesome rider? - Barney and I go to the Lusty Leopard so often I know every stripper´s name by heart. Is it Robin that I long for or just any opportunity to leave this port of lonely hearts?

It´s destiny. Robin and I had our ups and downs, but we´re still friends and we both need to see each other at least three or four times a week. It´s not only desparation or loneliness - I´m hopelessly devoted to her. To her heavenliness. To her unique ability of putting a smile on my face even though my entire world falls apart. To her being the only shiny star if my entire universe darkens.

EXT. ROOF OF TED´S APARTMENT - EVENING

Ring. Ring. Ring. A sharp and viking-like voice came out of the cellphone: "Ted? It´s Marshall. How about a little trip to bar. Lily and me could do with a beer."

These were my plans for the evening: drinking the usual beer with the usual friends. At least I could stare into these china blue Canadian eyes all evening long.

This urban giant, this concrete jungle was still on fire: the streets we´re full of souls seeking food and frozen bankers passing by without holding. A New Yorker´s face always says: I don´t care. For god´s sake, not a single creature cared for me.

I grabbed my jacket, made for the fire exit stairs and said: -into the intransparent blackness of a nightly New York - "I love you from the bottom of my heart." I hoped to mean Robin.

A TERRIFYING TRUTH

INT. THE MC LAREN´s - EVENING

I walked into to the bar with a lack of self-confidence. "You should have stayed at home." I was not able to ignore all these vicious voices rushing through my head. This time the voice sounded like Robin´s.

Back to reality! I walked over to our regular table and was astonished to only spot Lily and Marshall. Where was the rest of the gang? How come that it was only the three of us?

Lily: "We ordered a beer for you, Teddyboy! Come on, take a seat."

I sat down. Flash flood in my heart. Collateral damage in my head.

"Where are Barney and Robin?"

Marshall: "They have plans for tonight, bro."

"What plans? Are you kidding me."

Lily: "Well...As I heard their plans are colliding and sparks are flying."

Marshall: "I say Bang-Bang-Bangidibang..."

"What? You don´t mean...No. no."

I got real. A pain - strong, penetrative, biting strong - gnawed me away like a parasite full of hunger and vandalism. I felt like fighting a war of annihilation with myself.

Marshall: "Ted, are you ok? You sweat like hell."

Lily: "Yeah, we could call you the Sweatomat right now."

They we´re right, but my anxiety made me black out any kind of physical awareness.

"That´s not funny, Lil! How come they date each other again? That´s foolishness."

Marshall: "Ted, what is this all about? A little nostalgia today? Is this one of your "Robin is the love of my life, I need to win her back"-days? Actually, that´s foolsihness."

"Love is for the foolish, Marshall. I can´t forget that woman. She´s stuck in my head. I can´t help it."

Lily: "Oh come on, Ted! You´re like fire and rain. That´s like alien vs. predator, one is intended to get hurt."

"Very drastic similes today...But isn´t that what everybody craves for: a combination of perfect imperfection."

Marshall: Sounds like a verse from a Robin Sparkles song. What´s next, Ted? Some crazy romantic gesture that will scare us all to hell?"

"She´s at Barney´s for sure. I´ll go there, tell her how I feel and afterwards she needs to finalize a decision."

Lily: "Ted, don´t risk it all: you might not only get rid off your supposed darling, - You don´t love her, it´s just an intuitive reaction to being lonely and still not married - but you might also lose two of your best friends, because it seems as if Robin has already made her decision."

I gave a damn about Lily´s words. Without any answer I turned my back to my friends and rapidly runned to the door. At the same time I yelled at the top of my voice: - everybody in the bar must have thought of me as a complete madman- "The heart wants what the heart wants."

PURE PLEASURE

INT. BARNEY´S APARTMENT - NIGHT

It´s dark; a man and a woman. Barney and Robin.

He´s in her...his eyes are closed...she swings her hips...his head bends and bows...he rears up...she rides him savagely...the bed swishes...up...and down...and up...and down...

A LEGENDARY LESSON

INT. BARNEY´S APARTMENT - NIGHT

I couldn´t believe my eyes: Barney´s apartment door was wide open. Barney and Robin must have fallen into euphoria so fast that they´ve forgotten to unlock the door. I was paralyzed from anger and disappointment. How could she love him? How could she love this male version of a slut? How could she love one of his best friends?

I creeped trough the apartment determined to show Robin my deep emotions no matter how awkward the situation was. In the living room all the lights were turned off, so I went over to Barney`s room - I had expected them to be there either way.

But what I saw next changed me from bottom to top: in Barney´s room candles were burning and redwine-red roses were lying on the floor. Barney was on his knees stretching out his arm towards a shadowed woman - Robin. It looked like Barney was holding a golden coin in his hands.

"You lie at my heart, Scherbatsky. You´re the only woman to ever really touch me. You keep me away from all these bimbos. After a hard day of work you´re the only woman I wanna hug, kiss and nail. And you´re just as awesome as I am. You have turned my life from irrational to rational, you have turned me from evil to god. Nothing suits me like you. Will you marry me?"

Robin´s answer was "yes". It made me cry - but rather from joy than from sorrow. I realized that I had to start over und support my friends. You can´t love the ones that don´t love you, because that´s self-destruction. Moving on with self-esteem is the motto: life is a maze of doors and every door that closes offers you the chance to open a new one - which might lead you to the most beautiful room in the world.

I left the apartment without making any exposing noise. I would congratulate my friends tomorrow.

Running downstairs suddenly a young and blond girl - she looked gorgeous wearing hipster glasses, a truckee western shirt as well as skinny blue jeans - stopped me: "Sorry to bother you...but do you know where Barney Stinson´s apartment is?...By the way I´m his sister, Carly Whittaker."