It's June 9, 1989, 3:00, Roger's birthday was yesterday. My friends are strewn across the floor randomly. Maureen and Joanne entangled on the floor, Angel and Collins sleeping on the couch with their head accessories switched, Mimi and Roger making out on the kitchen table which they had dragged into the living room at some point during the night. I sit on a filthy plastic chair, swaying dangerously as I've had one too many. I crank the camera, hold it up to my eye and swivel my head to film Maureen who has just begun stripping. Yes, that's something I hadn't seen since we dated. Well, I probably had since then, but was just too drunk to remember it.
Roger then hops off the table, struts, or rather attempts to strut, over to me and grabs the camera from my hands. "As much as I would love to watch her stripping later, I do not want to see Mo and Jo get intimate, so, either turn the damn camera off or film something else." "What exactly do you propose I film?" I slur yanking the camera from his grasp. "I don't know. Shit I guess. That's what you usually film anyway." That part is true, but I don't want to admit it. "Whatever man." I roll my eyes and lean back in the chair. Of course at that moment it breaks and I'm laying on the floor with the remnants of the chair around me. Roger, Mimi and Collins are laughing their asses off at me and I realize now that Maureen would have been too, had she not been preoccupied with 'other activities'.
Angel, ever the kind soul even when she's drunk, runs over and helps me up. I was blushing so fiercely at that point, that she would always comment that if I were a girl, I would never need blush. She helps me over to the couch where I sit next to Collins who wraps his arm around my shoulders, still chuckling. "Man, you're a comedy act when you have no idea what you're doing." "Thank you Collins, I'm sure that will come in handy one day" I state sarcastically, the Stolli having worn off. He flips me the bird and settles back into the couch. "So Rog" I turn to him "everyone has given you a birthday present except Mimi and Mo." "Oh yeah" Maureen shouts from the floor "Mimi and me, tee-hee that rhymes, plan to give him a nice one later." "HELL NO!" Mimi and Joanne shout at the same time. "Mo sweetie, you're my BFFL but Roger is for my enjoyment" Mimi flashes her pearly whites
"Hey babe, you're always gonna be my favorite girl, but I figured we could have some fun tonight. After all it is my birthday" Roger bats his eyes innocently. "Fine. But Mo, you can keep to one side of the bed. I have never had sex with a women before and I'm not starting now." "You haven't?" the voice is Mo's "damn, you say no day but today. That's the best kind of sex." "Thanks for the insight Mo" I respond through gritted teeth because my head has started to pound. "Anytime Marky Mark! Love you!" she blows me kisses and Joanne interrupts. "Wait, nobody has asked me how I feel about this!" Mimi and Roger look at her shocked. "We have to ask you? We had no idea!" "I am dating Maureen." "I know, but Maureen is the group slut. And besides, the Maureen code states clearly that Mo can whore herself to any member of the inner group without penalty" Roger explains.
"When and why were those rules created?" "Oh, because Benny got pissed that I was doing Collins at the same time as him." Everyone turns to the gay anarchist. He shrugs "I was experimenting." "Do those rules include whoring to more than one person?" Joanne asks, the lawyer in her coming out. "Yeah, because I'm pretty sure she had a threesome with me and Mark more than once." Roger squints thoughtfully at the ceiling. "Yeah she did" I cut in "so everything's cool?" Joanne sighs. "What can I say? It's legal." "Fine then" I turn to Roger and Mimi "you guys can have your party whenever you want." "Let's go to the life first" Mimi squeals grabbing onto Rogers hand and dragging him towards the door. "Whatever you want babe" Rog mutters and looks at us expectantly. I give a half smile "sure why not. But who has money?" Nobody answers so Mo giggles "a dine and dash should be fun. They'll never catch us at this time of night." We all begin to file out when I notice that Collins has no pants on.
"Dude, where are your pants?" I question subconsciously expecting his answer. "Pants are superficial and overrated" he drawls "and Angel likes me like this." He winks at her and they race down the stairs. I smile after them. I have the most interesting and wonderful friends in the entire world.